Innocent Darkness (32 page)
Authors: Suzanne Lazear
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #Steampunk
James leaned lazily against a tree, a wistful look on his face. “Charlotte is
amazing.”
Steven wished he could bang his head against it. “Oh, no. You can’t fall in love with a mortal.”
“Do you know how much you sound like Father right now?” James’ eyebrow rose. “Besides, you’re in love with Noli.”
“That’s different,” he retorted.
“Is it?”
“And I don’t sound like Father.” As soon as his mouth snapped shut he realized he did. “Flying figs. Still … why did you bring her here?”
James shrugged, toying with a low hanging branch of the tree. “I first went and visited Jeff, who was deeply disturbed that Noli was sent to such a place, let alone missing. Then, I went to find Charlotte.”
“And brought her back with you.” He hoped to the Bright Lady Noli didn’t let her eat anything off the table.
“She wasn’t at her home.” James looked at his shoes. “She’d gotten some kind of tumor and the doctor told her uncle it was fatal. He’d been counting on her making a good marriage to
pay him back
for raising her after her parents died. Her uncle became angry and beat her so severely he crippled her, then threw her out on the streets. I found her crumpled in the corner of an ally, starving to death and in dreadful pain from both the tumor and her injuries.”
That wasn’t what he’d expected.
James’s face contorted with pain, eyes glowing with compassion. “I want—no—I
need
to help her. Do you think I can heal her? I’m making her pain go away, but I only took a quick peek at her injuries, I didn’t want to risk anything else until I got here.”
“How bad are they?” Neither of them were experienced healers.
“I can’t believe anyone could beat someone so badly— and he did it with an intention to maim. Then there’s the tumor … ”
Steven shook his head. How sad. “I don’t know if we can heal that. Her bones, maybe.”
Defeat colored James’ face. There wasn’t anyone they could ask for help without endangering the girls and racking up a debt to someone. The best healers hailed from the water court, and as allies of his uncle, wouldn’t deal with a couple of underage, exiled princes.
“Anyway, I couldn’t leave her to die alone and in pain. There has to be something.” James raked his hand through his curly mop. “Charlotte is extraordinary. I like Noli well enough, but I never really understood how you two could spend hours in the tree house simply
talking.
Now I do.” His face lit up with the light of a thousand lanterns.
Uh oh. “You’re smitten.”
“I’m in love.” His head bowed, forlorn. “I’m in love with a dying mortal and I don’t know if I can fix her.”
“You were right to not leave her. No one should die alone and hurting.” Steven understood. After all, this was Noli’s friend, not a stranger.
Still, it made the situation all the more dangerous.
“She knows, by the way. I needed to explain how I could make her pain go away.”
Well, that solved one problem.
He put a hand on James’ shoulder. “We’ll figure this out.”
James grinned. “You’re the best.”
“I need your help too.” He glanced towards window. Charlotte and Noli chatted away, huddled together on the settee. Quickly, he filled his brother in on what transpired—his rescuing Noli from the queen, the wood faeries dying, and the queen’s visit.
“She did what? I can’t believe it.” James’ voice filled with outrage.
“I do.”
A look of horror crossed James’ face. “I won’t allow you to trade Charlotte for Noli.”
“I don’t believe in tricking them, remember?”
His arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t even want you to talk to her about it.”
Steven nodded, understanding. “Of course.”
James jerked his chin towards them. “What do you suppose they’re talking about?”
“Us probably. After all, they’re girls. What do you plan on doing with her?”
“Um.” James’ cheeks colored. “Why don’t we keep them here?”
“And do what, stay here with them? Father will be livid. What about school?” Privately he’d hoped to go to the university, even though it was unrelated to his other goal. Institutions of higher learning did exist here, but they weren’t quite the same.
James snorted. “We could stay here with the girls and you’re worried about
school?”
“Father won’t allow us—and neither will
she.”
Unless they agreed to certain things, which probably included moving into the high palace and playing good sons.
James slouched against the tree trunk. “I didn’t really think about anything past keeping her from hurting and reuniting her with Noli. I’m not sending her back. I don’t know how long she’ll last. Bright Lady bless, I wish I could save her.”
“Maybe we can.”
“You think?” His face lit up. “Do you think I could bargain with the queen to release Charlotte if it should come to it? Though I think it would be best for her to stay here. I’ll do whatever I need to stay with her—including defy father.”
Steven whistled. “You have it bad.” Even he wouldn’t defy father that much—though, truly, it wasn’t that different from his own situation. “Bargaining with the queen is dangerous and desperate.”
“It’s an option.” James lowered his voice. “She is our mother.”
“Not anymore.” He looked over; Charlotte seemed to be crying into Noli’s arms. “There’s still the problem that the queen needs a sacrifice and we have two girls glowing with the Spark.”
James rolled his blue eyes. “That’s not our problem.”
No. It was his.
“Come on.” James grabbed his arm. “Let’s go back inside.” Their eyes met, James’ pleading. “Will you help me, please? Help me see if we can fix Charlotte, help me figure out what to do with her?”
It was rash and stupid. But Steven could hardly judge, having run off to save the mortal he loved. “Of course. After all, that’s what brothers are for.”
Choices
“There we go, Lottie. Lie down.” James helped the little redhead lie down on the bed in what had been the room of Elise’s nursemaid.
Steven still thought it odd for James to be so tender, so concerned, so smitten. After all, he eschewed all things
mushy.
“Will it hurt?” Fear darkened Charlotte’s face.
“I won’t let you hurt, I promise.” James caressed her cheek.
Smiling, she closed her eyes. “I trust you.”
Steven didn’t miss Noli’s look of longing, of jealousy. He’d been finding ways to avoid her all afternoon. Since she’d been closeted with Charlotte, he hadn’t thought she’d noticed.
“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” James tucked a blanket around Charlotte.
“Don’t make it tickle.” She giggled.
“She’s sensitive.” James smiled up at his brother. Looking back down at her, his look grew fond.
Steven watched as James tried to magically take stock of Charlotte’s injuries. Her legs were bent and broken, having healed improperly, one arm hung oddly, limply. She looked pale and wan, cheeks hollow. Her eyes still sparkled; she still shone with life, with the Spark.
“Are you all right, Charlotte?” Noli held her friend’s hand.
“It tickled a little. You may call me Lottie, if you’d like. You know how Miss Gregory was about nicknames.”
Noli rolled her eyes. “I know. I prefer Noli. Only my mother calls me Magnolia, and that’s with my other two names attached, delivered in a shout from the bottom of the stairs.”
Charlotte giggled. “I can hear it now.”
So could Steven. Noli’s eyes got misty. He should go put an arm around her.
“I miss my mom, Lottie.” Noli’s voice cracked. “I want to go home.”
“You don’t want to stay here with me?” Hurt leaked into Charlotte’s voice.
“I’ll come and visit.” Noli smiled. “Right, V?”
Tentatively, he put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll visit Charlotte and James together.”
That statement assumed so much—Noli not being the sacrifice, him finding a way for her to leave, his father not grounding him until he came of age.
Noli’s brilliant smile made it worthwhile.
“Steven, can you help me?” James asked.
“Of course.” He wasn’t very good at this either.
Carefully, he repeated James’ scan. He could sense every break in her bones, every crack in her ribs. They could repair some of them, though it would be a long— and painful—process. But the tumor …
The large tumor in her brain wasn’t something he’d even know how to
start
fixing. Magic could do wondrous things, but it didn’t solve everything.
“Is everything all right, James?” Charlotte asked.
She seemed to be a sweet, intelligent, giggly girl—not empty headed, but much gigglier than Noli and more concerned about girl things.
“We’re simply trying to determine how severe everything is.” James’ cheer sounded forced.
“Sounds good.” Charlotte seemed oblivious to the severity of the matter.
They finished and James looked as if he wanted to speak to him away from the girls.
“We’re going to let you two talk some more.” Steven tentatively touched Noli’s hair. She’d been wearing it unbound and he really liked it.
“Alright. We’ll be just fine.” Noli flashed him a large smile.
“Bye,” Charlotte waved.
“I’ll come back soon.” James squeezed Charlotte’s hand.
“Me too. Come on, James.” The two of them left to discuss what they’d found, leaving them to do whatever girls did when guys weren’t around.
“Let me help you sit up.” Noli propped up Charlotte with pillows and sat on the bed with her. Charlotte had deteriorated from her vibrant, bouncy friend, into someone who couldn’t walk, who needed help to do the simplest things, who was dying.
She hoped with all her might that James and V could save her.
At least Charlotte was still herself on the inside. Mostly. Noli could see the shadows in her eyes—except when with James. It was all quite charming.
If only V would be sweet instead of running hot and cold like he had all day. Noli took a seat on the bed and sighed.
“Are you all right?” Charlotte leaned into her.
“I … I’m fine,” Noli lied.
Earlier, Charlotte shared the amazingly dreadful story about what happened after her Uncle Nash dragged her away from Findlay House up until James found her. Charlotte had confessed that she loved James. From the way James acted, clearly, he loved her, too.
“Did James tell you why I’m here, Lottie?” Noli asked. “He said his brother thought you’d been kidnapped by bad faeries and needed rescuing.” She cocked her head. “Were there really bad faeries?”
Was Kevighn
bad?
He was many things—a rake and a liar being the first that sprung to mind. Exceedingly handsome and compelling were two more, with that dark hair and hypnotic yellow eyes.
But bad?
Noli could appreciate the nature of his job. The high queen charged him with an important task vital to his people’s survival.
She didn’t like that he’d
lied.
Yet did that make him
bad?
“Do you remember that man who spoke to us from the other side of the fence?” Noli finally asked.
Charlotte’s nose wrinkled as she thought. “Long black hair, looked like a rake?”
“That’s him. He’s the faerie queen’s huntsman.”
“What does he hunt?”
Noli remembered what Kevighn told her about Charlotte. Did James and V know that Charlotte, too, had the Spark? She could be in danger as well. Noli shivered at the thought. “Well, he hunts those like us.”
She told Charlotte about her wish and being drawn into the Otherworld. Noli explained about Kevighn, V’s rescue, the sacrifice, the Spark, and everything at stake.
“It didn’t become real until the wood faery died in my hands,” Noli sniffed. She’d buried her at the bottom of the oak. “I don’t want to be the cause of an entire civilization dying. I don’t want V to die either—even if he’s behaving most erratically—but,” sighing, she pulled her knees to her chest. “I don’t want to die either.” Her head rested on her knees. “I wish I’d never made that wish.”
“If you hadn’t, you’d still be at Findlay.” Charlotte put a hand on her shoulder.
“Such a dreadful place,” Noli agreed. “I would’ve run away.”
“And done what? Gone home to your mama and hoped she didn’t drag you back?”
She’d forgotten about that little detail, but everything looked better in hindsight. “Yes, I suppose, and gone to Jeff if I had to.”
James had given her a letter from Jeff, who missed her, and invited her to come and visit—not that Mama would ever allow her. But it warmed her heart. Occupation aside, she missed him.
Charlotte smiled. “I can’t believe your brother is an air pirate. I think I’d like to be one. Could you imagine? Some of the female air pirates even wear
trousers.”
Noli covered her mouth in mock dismay and they laughed. “Oh, a courtier in the high queen’s court wore trousers. Scandalous. And corsets! It seemed that here the thing to do is to wear corsets on the
outside
of your dress. Can you imagine?” She looked at her bare arms. “I still can’t believe I’ve been running around all day with bare arms and no corset.”
“Oh, you’re such a scarlet woman,” Charlotte teased.
Noli’s cheeks warmed. “I feel like I’ve been nothing but a dollymop since coming here. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course you can.” Scooting closer, Charlotte put an arm around her.
“Since coming here I’ve been having,” casting her eyes down, she bit her lip. Saying such things out loud seemed so naughty. “Feelings, urges, like the kind Dr. Martin always talked about. I didn’t really know what he meant until recently.” Arms around her legs, Noli rested her cheek on her knees. “V tried to find me in his dreams, and we did things.”
“Really?” Charlotte’s green eyes sparkled. “Like what?”
“We … ” She closed her eyes. Was she truly ready to admit this? She needed to tell someone. Charlotte wouldn’t judge her. “We kissed, and I let him touch me through my night dress and … ” Her voice hushed. “I liked it. Mama always said marital relations were a duty, but I think they could actually be pleasant under the right circumstances.” “They can be unpleasant.” Charlotte’s voice colored with pain and she gazed off into the distance. “But I’d think if it was out of love and not anger or perversion it could be nice.”
The two of them curled against each other, Charlotte’s head on Noli’s shoulder, Noli’s head on top of Charlotte’s.
“The heat in my dreams is still there, in person, I mean. He’s kissed me several times since and … ” Noli’s voice broke as she remembered him pushing her away, yelling at her. Tears pricked her eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m so confused. He tells me I mean something to him one moment, the next he won’t even touch me. Is he toying with me? Kevighn said V’s not good for me. I know Kevighn is a lying cad and a rake, but I never thought V would hurt me.” Her hand went to her chest. “He’s my best friend.”
“Slow down. Isn’t Kevighn the one who kidnapped you?”
Noli looked around, praying the boys were out of earshot. “He is. Lying and roguish ways aside, he’s not that bad.” Her cheeks warmed. She sounded like a twittering idiot. “He … he’s said several times that I should be with him. I don’t know if they were pretty words meant to entrap me or not but … he … he kissed me.”
“Did he, now?” Charlotte’s eyes danced. “Is he a good kisser?”
“I’m not sure if he kisses better than V. He’s so different. One night he got me drunk and … ” She winced at the memory of her indiscretion. “He got my dress off. I can’t believe he saw me in only my undergarments.”
Charlotte giggled. “My word, you’re a prude, Noli. By the way you’re blushing, one would think he got you undressed and under the covers.”
Noli’s mouth dropped open at her friend’s blunt words. “I … ”
“You wished he did, didn’t you? I can’t believe it.” She clapped her hands to her chest.
“He’s nothing but a lying rake and rogue—the kind where no good will ever come from falling for such a man,” Noli replied, saying the words she needed to believe.
“But you have?”
“I don’t know,” she wailed. “It could be because he’s dangerous, because I know he’s bad for me—like stuffing yourself with sweets because they’re tasty even though you know you’ll have a bellyache in the morning.”
“Oh, he’s one of those.” Charlotte waved her hand. “You’re right, no good can come from loving a man like that—also, he wishes to kill you.”
“I know.” Noli exhaled sharply, slumping over.
“What of V, how do you feel about him?”
“I … ” Her heart raced. “I enjoy being with him. We have a lot in common. I don’t know why he’s running hot and cold.”
“It sounds as if he’s under a lot of stress. Men under stress sometimes behave strangely.”
“They do?”
Charlotte nodded. “When my father was alive sometimes he’d be in terribly foul moods when things were difficult at work.”
“Oh.” Her father hadn’t been like that. Could her mother be on edge all the time because she felt stress? It was difficult for her mother to run the shop, pay the bills, and raise Noli.
“How
do
you feel about V?” Charlotte put a hand to her mouth and giggled.
“I like to kiss him.” She looked away, cheeks warming at her admission. “How can I be attracted to two so very different men at the same time? Perhaps I truly am a dollymop.”
“You’re no dollymop. I hear girls speak of being attracted to multiple men, of their affections being torn— especially between who’s proper for them to marry, and who made their heart race and insides tingle.”
“Really?” Noli laughed. It seemed scandalous to speak so freely. Charlotte seemed to know so much. But then Noli never could be bothered with such things previously.
“Really.”
“How do they decide?” Relief washed over her to know her feelings weren’t abnormal.
“Their fathers decide for them. Usually it’s the man who’s proper for them to marry. You know how it is.” Charlotte shrugged. “Some men are fun to dance and flirt with, but those men aren’t the sort you’d want to marry.”
“True.” Those were the sort who’d continue to dance and flirt after the wedding. Yes, she could see Kevighn being the type of man who’d go out carousing, even with a wife and children at home.
That didn’t diminish his attractiveness.
“V kissed me earlier.” Noli closed her eyes to shut out the images. “Then … ” her voice cracked. “He pushed me away—physically. He yelled at me and told me to leave.”
“He did?” Charlotte stroked her hair. “Then what?”
“I left. Then Kevighn found me and told me I should be with him.”
“And?”
“V came, apologized, and you came.” So many emotions welled inside her, overwhelming her to the point where she didn’t know what to think.
“You don’t want to be with Kevighn, not really,” Charlotte replied. “Ruffians are often attractive only because we know they’re bad for us.”
“That makes perfect sense.”
Charlotte continued, “See past his exterior, his fine words, the way he makes you feel—there’s not the substance that V has. Besides, Kevighn wants to
kill
you, remember? He tricked you and seduced you on orders from the queen.”
It sounded so clear cut when Charlotte said it. “You’re right.”
“It’s all right to feel attracted to him,” she reassured, arms around her. “But you shouldn’t even think of entertaining anything—not for one second. He feels nothing for you. Men like that couldn’t love someone if they tried. They’re naught but a bundle of lies.”
A sigh escaped Noli’s lips. If only her mixed emotions could escape with it. “I know.”
“But they are nice to look at.” Charlotte grinned. “You’re right.” Noli looked at Charlotte. “I still feel so selfish. I don’t want to give up my life—even for a people, even to live in comfort with nearly every wish fulfilled … ” Emotions warred within her and her voice broke. “Oh, how I miss my mama.”
“You’re not selfish. But this is quite a predicament.” For a moment Charlotte looked thoughtful.
“How can you be so cheerful and positive even though—” Her mouth clamped shut. How could she say such a thing?
“Life is what you make of it. I know my days are numbered. I can feel it. I choose to live those days out as happily as I can—and thanks to James,” a silly grin spread across Charlotte’s pale face. “Thanks to him, I’m in no pain, I’ve found someone who loves me and I love him. Even though we might not have much time together, it’s worth it.”
“What if he can fix you? What if you can have more time?” They’d just been reunited; she couldn’t die.
“If I can, I will, but I’m not going to fret over it.” Charlotte smiled. “And neither should you. We should spend our time together happily.”
Noli’s face contorted. “Does it hurt you that I want to go home?”
“You have a place to go. If anything, I’m jealous—but only a little. I’ll miss you when you do. I think I’ll like it here with James.”
The idea of staying with Charlotte certainly tempted.
“I need to make up with my mother. I need to ask her forgiveness. I… I want to try to be a better daughter— perhaps not a perfect one, but a better one,” Noli finally replied.
Charlotte nodded. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”
She had trouble understanding Charlotte’s attitude. Charlotte had just found someone she loved. How could a brief time together be as good as a lifetime?
Noli sighed. “This is all so hard.”
“No, it’s not. Be happy. I choose to be happy.” “What would make me happy?” The obvious would be going home.
“Only you can decide.” Charlotte snuggled closer, eyes drooping. “I’m sleepy.”
“Take a nap.” She tucked her friend in.
Be happy. Could it be that easy? Did V make her happy? As her best friend he did. Could he make her happy as more than her best friend, present behavior aside?
As Charlotte fell asleep, Noli thought about it hard. As she drifted off herself, she realized the answer was
yes.