Insanity (5 page)

 She let the process rip with a phone call to Lamar Nelson, a college fling from Morgan State University. She had known and dealt with Lamar, off and on for years.

Like clockwork, the eager young man answered her phone call on the first ring.

Queen smiled and shook her head before she spoke.
He’s still the same old Lamar. He’ll do anything for me,
she imagined.

“Umm, yeah, I was calling for the ice cream man. Is this still the right number?” she teased, referring to an old, sexaul joke between them.

Lamar laughed and said, “I thought that was you. I haven’t heard from you in a while. I thought somebody had finally taken your throne away from you.”

“Oh, not
hardly
, baby. I still own it,” she bragged. “I’ve just been busy working and trying to get to that next level.”

“I hear that. We’re reaching our mid-twenties now; time to step it up.”

“You’re just realizing that? I’ve
been
stepping my game up.”

 “Yeah, well, all of us can’t be
royalty
like you,” he patronized her.

 Queen grinned, trying to figure out how to lead him into the conversation that
she
wanted.

“So . . . you still got that ice cream fetish you used to have?”

Lamar laughed again. “What flavor?” he asked her for the hell of it.

“Coffee.”

“Are you serious?” He continued to laugh as if it was a comedy skit. He didn’t even expect a real answer from her. But Queen
was
serious.

However, maybe he had a new girlfriend now. So she paused and asked him about it, “I mean . . . are you in a present situation?”

There was no time to beat around the bush with him. Either he was available to her that night or she would have to call on someone else to please her. Or she could please
herself
, which she considered her
last
option.

“I mean, we haven’t even seen each other in like, what, four or five months?”

So what
? Queen snapped.
Do you want to lick this pussy with ice cream tonight or not? Shit, he’s acting like a damn girl with morals now. Just be a desperate guy and come get this pussy.

However, Lamar’s point was well taken.

I guess I do need to at least see him first to make sure he’s still healthy without the cooties and shit on his lips,
she contemplated.
Maybe he’s thinking the same way about me.

On cue, Lamar asked her, “Do you still look good enough for ice cream? What’s
your
situation?”

Bingo. He had given her the open angle that she needed.

“I’ll tell you what, if you’re free to buy that ice cream for me, then you can bring it by the house and decide for yourself. And if I’m not what you have in mind anymore, then just leave it with me and go on about your night.”

Lamar responded with a chuckle. “You never
did
lack confidence. But okay, that’s a deal.”

After hanging up with him, Queen breathed a sigh of relief.

“
Whew
, that was harder than I thought it would be.” But she had no concerns whether he would still consider her attractive. In fact, she began to worry more about
him
.

“What if he no longer turns
me
on?” she wondered. “But hell, all I need are his lips and his tongue. So I guess we’ll soon see.”

She arrived at home on the north side of Baltimore much faster than it had taken her to drive downtown. And her roommate, Jackie, was walking in from her own outing.

“Hey girl, how did your date go?” Jackie asked her. Thick-bodied, ebony brown and cheerful in an all black dress, Jacqueline Samuels was four years Queen’s senior and originally from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. They met at Towson State, while Jackie struggled to graduate. Queen had inspired her to finish instead of quitting and returning home.

“How did
yours
go?” she asked her roommate instead of answering. Jackie liked to talk more about her dates than Queen did anyway, and she went right in to it.

“Oh, girl, let me tell you. The man took me to this fancy restaurant off the beltway, and then he doesn’t have enough money to pay for the bill on two different credit cards. So he pulls out a bunch of cash like a damn drug dealer.”

Queen looked concerned. “How much was the bill?” She wondered if the dinner had run them a couple of hundred dollars or so. Did Jackie have to eat like
that
?

But she answered, “Like, ninety dollars.”

“
Ninety dollars
? And he didn’t have that much on his credit card?” That sounded ridiculous.

“That’s what
I
was saying. I mean, why even
have
a card if you don’t have any money on it? But then he pulls out like a thousand dollars in
cash
. And I’m thinking,
For what
? I mean, if you wanna show off something, then have enough money on your
credit
card
to pay for it, or pay for it in
cash
to begin with. You know what I’m saying?”

She said, “It seems like he had that whole thing set up just to prove that he’s a so-called
‘cash man’
.”

Queen laughed and said, “Wow. My date just told
me
the exact
opposite
; it’s not what a man has in his
pockets
, it’s all about what he has in his
name
.”

“Now
that’s
what’s up,” Jackie told her enthusiastically. “So, you like this guy then?” It was better than talking about her date. Queen’s stories, when she told them, tended to be a lot more dramatic

She answered, “
Do I
? Girl, I had to get away from his ass before I decided to fuck him over the dinner table. And how about his ass was slurping up crab legs at that. So you know what
I
was thinking about.”

Jackie bowed over in laughter. “Girl, you are
too much
.”

“Yeah, so once he got me all hot and bothered, I had to make a fast getaway and call up an old friend of mine to finish off the job for me. You know, I don’t wanna give this new guy the punany too early. He might try to act like that’s all he wants to do.”

Jackie was tickled stunned at her audacity. “Girl, I know
that
feeling. Guys get some too early and don’t even wanna call you back anymore. But no you
didn’t
call up somebody else.”

“Yes, I
did
,” Queen told her matter-of-factly. “I don’t play that. He’s on his way over here now.”

Jackie continued to laugh and said, “That’s a
sin.
”

“And you think that these
guys
don’t sin? He probably called up one of
his
old girlfriends too, because I
know
I had him hot. He was eating his damn food like he had just gotten out of jail somewhere.”

Jackie responded with caution. “O-kay, I hear you, girl, but you still gotta hold it off. Then it’ll feel that much
better
when you finally give him some. But you can’t ruin the main
meal
with some meaningless
dessert
.”

At that point, Queen figured it would have been best not to say anything, because she was not changing her mind. Jackie was a lot more conservative than she was.

“Well, it’s too late now,” she commented. There was nothing left to be said about it. Lamar was already on his way over with the ice cream.

After being her roommate for two years, Jackie realized how stubborn Queen could be. Once the woman had made up her mind, it would take a hurricane to stop her. So she backed off of her with a shrug.

“All right then, do what you do.”

Jackie said her piece and retired to her room for the night.

Queen dashed to the bathroom, unperturbed, and freshened up for her company, including body scents and mouthwash to alleviate the aroma of fish. She expected him to arrive at any minute.

“Shit, I’ma do whatever I need to do to get by just like
they
do,” she insisted into the mirror. “A girl got needs
too
.”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

 Bag of coffee ice cream in hand, Lamar arrived at the familiar red brick, duplex apartment building in North Baltimore where Queen lived on the second floor, and he hesitated.

At average build and height, dressed in his usual khakis, sharp shoes and a quality button-up shirt, with a low-cut haircut, the anxious man exhaled and shook his head before he asked himself, “What the hell am I
doing
?”

He actually
did
have a situation. He had a new woman of three months who he felt rather serious about.

“All right, I’m just gonna see what she looks like, talk some small talk, leave her the ice cream, and be back on my way,” he told himself as he marched toward the buzzer and intercom at the front door.

The man had seen a number of gorgeous women from his college yaers change for the worse overnight. The stress of the real world and workplace, combined with the search for husbands and the struggle to maintain their weight, had brought out the worst in them. He now wondered if it was Queen’s turn. He pressed her buzzer and waited at the doorway, anticipating disappointment.

“Hello?”

Her sudden response from the intercom shook him from his thoughts before he composed himself. “Hey, it’s Lamar.”

“You got my coffee?”

“Of course.”

She buzzed him in as he grabbed the door open. He shook his head with continued trepidation on the way in.

“No ‘Thank you’ or nothing, hunh?” he grumbled to himself as he climbed the stairway. But when Queen opened her door to invite him in, Lamar was pleasantly surprised.

He looked her up and down and grinned. “Hey, I see you still look the same.”

Queen frowned and shrugged. “So do
you
. What were you expecting?”

He walked in and mumbled, “You don’t even wanna know. But I’m glad it’s not the case.”

That made her stop and think. “Shit, it’s only been a few
months
. Did you hear rumors about it, that I had fallen off or something? Who’s out there talking shit?”

“Oh, nobody. I’ve just witnessed a lot of different women going through it, that’s all.”

Queen took a stance and told him, “Well, this is
me
you’re dealing with. So be thankful you’re one of the
few
guys that I still even bother to
call
.”

“Well, what makes
me
so lucky; the ice cream?” Lamar asked her frankly.

It caught her off guard. “Is that what you
think
?” she retorted. She needed time to think of a better answer.

“I’m asking you.”

Okay, this is fucking up my groove,
Queen thought immediately.
I don’t feel like going through all of this.

“Why did you
come
?” she questioned him instead.

“I was curious.”

“Well . . .”

He shrugged. “I’m
still
curious.”

“About
what
? You see what you
see
, don’t you?”

He nodded. “Yeah, and I’m impressed that you’re able to hold it together. So how come
you’re
not in a situation?”

“Who said I
wasn’t
?” Queen questioned.

There was a pregnant pause in the room. Lamar began to look around at the familiar living room furniture and decided to take a seat to keep his poise. He didn’t want Queen to bend his him like she normally did.

“Well,
are you
?” he pressed her, taking his seat on the beige sofa.

Queen took in his poise and became more agitated. The man was getting far too comfortable with his stalling.

“I mean, does it
matter
? We’ve known each other for
years
now,” she reminded him.

Yeah, this isn’t even working,
she told herself.
So let me get ready to throw his ass out.

Lamar sat there continuing to smile. He was now amused by her frustration. Queen seemed pressed, which he wasn’t used to. He was used to her being cunning and seductively in charge. But now seemed outwardly bullish. So he planned to enjoy it while figuring out what was going on with her.

He took a sniff and said, “You smell good too.”

Unfortunately, that was the last straw for Queen. She had heard and seen enough. Lamar planned to act like an egotistical asshole, like so many other young men with chips on their shoulders. And she didn’t have the
time
nor the
tolerance
to accept it.

She nodded to him and said, “Okay.” She walked over and grabbed the cold bag of ice cream from his hands. “Thanks for the ice cream. What do I owe you, five, ten dollars?”

She grabbed her purse to pay him with.

Lamar shook it off. “Naw, you don’t have to pay me for that. But we’re getting
older
now. I can’t just come over here and service you like I used to.”

The acknowledgement of it turned her on again.

Why not?
She wanted to ask him. But that would have sounded incredibly desperate. She continued to listen and hear him out instead.

“I mean, you asked me if I had a situation, and I
do
now,” he started.

Queen looked into his plain face and no-thrills demeanor, only a six on a scale of ten, and she wanted to throw his ass from her second-story Her legs were literally bouncing up and down and flexing with exhilaration under the steering wheel. And her titties were standing at attention beneath her blouse, ready to be fondled by warm hands and sucked by soft, buttery lips. window. Of all the guys to try and get
sophisticated
on her, Lamar would have been the
last
one that she would have thought about.

If I wanted to hear all of this, I could have at least called someone who got it like that,
she mused.
But he’s just a pussy licker. Now he’s trying to act like he’s more.