Inside Danger (Outside The Ropes Book 2) (25 page)

Pounding on the door woke me, the room rattled with it. My reactions were scattered and I jumped up, nearly falling over the sheets tangled around me. The pounding was coming from the front door. Knowing the lock would keep me safe, I scrambled to it without grabbing a weapon. It was probably Kiera, she frequently locked herself out, my mind was slow to remind me.

But through the peephole, I saw Gages brown hair as he braced himself with one arm on the frame. Then his head popped up and I was met with his bright blue eyes, burning into me like he could see me through the wood.

“You need to leave.” My words would have held more impact if I hadn’t opened the door.

My muscles vibrated with fear and excitement. My mind screamed that he needed to leave, but my body said just the opposite. The air was too thick between us, I couldn’t breathe.

And in an instant, he had me in his arms, lips pressed to mine.

HE COLLIDED WITH ME, FORCING ME BACK, out of the doorway and into the apartment. He was all there was, filling all my senses. I breathed him in. I had been suffocating without him and didn’t even know it until this moment.

The sound of the door shutting behind us made my heart skip, but it had only been him kicking it closed. My fingers ran through his hair, it was longer than I remembered and easier to grip. His kiss was intense, tongue swirling around mine, as he kept walking me back, further into the apartment.

The apartment I shared with Kiera, my mind whispered a warning.

I gripped his shirt. The soft black material bunched in my fists as I pulled him into my bedroom, out of the hallway where we could be seen.

He must have thought I was eager, and in a way a part of me was. He broke our kiss to slip his shirt over his head, and my mind had time to catch up. I had left it at the front door.

“Wait.” I stepped back. My heart was pounding, tearing itself apart with the effort. “We can’t.” Another step back, my shallow breathing and his bare chest made words hard to speak. The back of my legs hit the edge of my bed, and I sucked in a steadying breath as he stepped towards me. “Stop. You shouldn’t be here. Rusnak—”

“Don’t,” he snapped with a warning step towards me. “He’s not coming, he left with that other girl.” He raised his chin, looking down on me. “Is that who you want?”

I was captured and frozen in his gaze, and it was getting closer, more intense, as he stalked towards me. It gutted me that he even needed to ask, but all I could do was shake my head when I wanted to scream, no.

“Good.” Relief flooded his voice and features, he melted with it and his hand shot out grabbing mine, pulling me towards him. “I should have come sooner. It should have never been him. You belong with me.”

Everything ached in me, reaching for him. My arms circled his waist, pressing us closer together. I rested my head on his chest as his arms wrapped around me, his lips in my hair. I wasn’t sure which was harder to resist, his hot consuming kisses, or this gentle soul-capturing embrace. But I knew I couldn’t bring myself to push away, not physically. Besides it wasn’t Gage who would get in trouble, Rusnak had said he was too valuable. I was the one taking a risk and this moment felt worth it. I was still drunk enough that I could turn off my concern for tomorrow.

He leaned back, using one hand to lift my chin to look at him. “I love you. And I know you love me.”

“Shh. It doesn’t matter.” I tried to bring my lips to his to shut him up, stop his talking.

He stood up taller, too tall for me to kiss his mouth, so I kissed his neck and ran my hands over the hard muscles on his back, around his shoulders, tracing the tattoos on his chest and stomach. I licked and kissed his neck and shoulders as my hands dipped into the top of his jeans, hoping to spark that passion in him again. I was already burning.

The groan that rumbled his chest, vibrating my lips, as I took him in my hand was so damn sexy it sent shocks of lust straight to my core, causing a gasp of my own.

Then his hands gripped my shoulders and he tossed me back on to the bed. I was helpless to stop my free fall. He took me by surprise and my reactions were still dulled by the alcohol and his presence, I didn’t know which was affecting me more.

As my butt bounced on the bed and I fell back against the soft comforter, I had my answer. It was this man that had me high, not the liquor. His eyes burned as he crawled over me and his fingers tugged my shirt up, hot kisses dotting my stomach, each one pushing me further over the edge.

His lips moved up me, lifting my shirt as he went. My brain warned me to push him away, reminding me that I was braless and the shirt was the only thing keeping my scars covered, but he quickly took it off me. And I didn’t stop him, my arms even lifted to make it easier, quicker.

I closed my eyes, blocking the insecurities that tried to creep in. His warm hands were over me, sheltering me, keeping me safe. He wouldn’t add salt to these wounds, under his touch it felt like I could be cherished instead of disposed of.

His lips wrapped around my nipple, sucking and tugging, burning away all other concerns, and his fingers moved down to my panties, sliding inside. He started a slow pump, in and out, and all thought combusted. I was left with only feeling and sensation.

His fresh scent surrounded me, his solid weight covered me, his sweet husky voice whispering words too low to hear, and his hands were all over me. He was all there was and all I wanted. And I needed more.

I moved my hands over his smooth, sensitive skin, and it grew under my touch. I ached for him to fill me.

“Say it again,” he panted in my ear, sucking in a breath as I bit his shoulder.

My head swirled, his words forcing me to think, but his fingers continued their slow, rhythmic circles that made it impossible to recall anything else.

“Please,” I begged, arching my hips to him and guiding him to me with my hand.

He lifted off of me, kicking down his boxers and dragging my underwear off with one hand, kissing my legs as he went.

The look and feel of his head between my legs as he paused, licking, tasting, on his way back up was too much. “Please, Gage.”

His blue lifted to mine, bright with desire as he rose over me, bracing his weight on one forearm. “That. Say my name again.” He positioned himself between my legs, the tip pressing into me.

He thrust into me as I breathed his name, forcing it out in a gasp.

Rocking in and out, he commanded, “Again, again, again.”

And each time I responded, my fingers digging into the skin on his back as the pressure mounted.

“It’s only… my name… on your… lips… from now on… Only me,” he demanded in between thrusts that got deeper and harder until it shattered my core.

I fell to pieces beneath him and he slowed his pace to a rock. He was slowly pulling me back together as he glided in and out of me, his lips over mine, drinking his name from them.

When my spasms slowed, he began that sweetly, torturous twist of his hips that started a fire, deep in my core, all over again.

“Only me,” he lifted his upper body up, meeting my eyes. “From now on.” His hips continued to move, stroking all the right spots.

The vulnerability he let show as he searched my face had me smoothing my hands over his head and cheeks, trying to soothe him, reassure him.

“It’s only ever been you. No one else.” I kissed his face and couldn’t stop. My lips grazed over his forehead and cheeks. And once our lips met he dropped onto me, pressing me into the mattress as our kiss deepened.

We were tangled in each other, trying to melt into each other. He rocked into me, speed and strength increasing and intensifying, bringing me to the edge again and again before finally going with me.

Our fingertips ran softly over each other, leaving goose bumps in their wake. My head on his chest, I listened to his heart, a strong, steady beat. Sleep was taking over, a heavy blanket clouding everything. My fingers traced the letters on his ribs ‘Rage’ and then outlined the fire burning the top of the letters.

“I thought this was about boxing. It’s not, is it?” My euphoric haze was slipping.

He sighed, lifting his head to look at the tattoo or me. I don’t know which since I didn’t take my eyes off the ink stretched over muscles. My head was too heavy to lift.

“Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. It’s by Dylan Thomas.” My body shifted as he shrugged his shoulder. “It was for my Dad, but for me too. It’s for everything, including boxing. It’s a way of life.”

His fingers were still on my shoulder, no longer trailing soft circles over my skin. I snuggled deeper into him, wanting to take back my question. I wanted to go back to ignoring everything else for a little longer. I don’t know if it was the alcohol still keeping me from thinking or sheer hard headedness, but I wanted to stretch this night out as long as possible. But first, I needed him to relax again.

“I should get rage tattooed under my flame.” I touched the tattoo behind my ear and closed my eyes as he laughed. “Then we could match.”

His arms circled around me, wrapping me in his warmth, just where I wanted to be. Then I succumbed to sleep.

My head was throbbing. I was too hot, and everything was heavy. I could barely move. My lips peeled apart so I could lick them, my mouth dry and rough like sandpaper. I tried to rub away the sleep from my eyes, but my arm was stuck. Under Gage.

For a blind second, I was tempted to curl back into him. Then my present moment slammed into me and I shoved him away. “Get up.”

Clear sunlight lit the room. The alarm clock read 9:23 am.

I was up, searching for clothes. My head split into two from the quick movements and I was forced to slow down. It was hard to slip into pants, my balance was still off.

“Get up,” I said again in a panicked whisper, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He hooked his arm over his head with a groan. Then his other hand reached out for me, grasping at air. “Come back to bed, just for a bit.”

I stepped back, away from him. “Get up and get out.” Scooping up his clothes, I pushed them towards him, dropping them on his lap. “You shouldn’t be here.”

He sat up suddenly, his face pulled in confusion and annoyance.

“Last night was a mistake. Get out.”

Threading his legs into his jeans, he remained silent. I had to turn away, unable to look at him and the frown darkening his face.

“You’re scared. But you don’t need to be.” He was trying to calm me, his smooth voice sunk into me as he closed in behind me.

But it wouldn’t work. I had to stay strong. Turning, I faced him, taking a step back. “So what if I am? It’s not like that stops me from doing what needs to be done. Now leave.” I pointed to the door. He was blocking me from opening it for him.

His eyes narrowed and he took one large step towards me, grabbing my arm. “That’s the problem. It doesn’t stop you, you let your fear control you. And that’s a dangerous emotion to make decisions with.” His other hand captured my shoulder and his hard look softened. “You don’t have to be scared with me. I told you, things can be different. I can help you.”

I pulled away, out of his grasp. “No. I don’t want you to. I worked out my own deal with Rusnak. I’m out after my fight Friday. You’ll only pull me in deeper.”

He flinched back at my words. “Last night—I thought—You love me,” it sounded like an accusation.

I shook my head and closed my eyes, trying to calm my pounding headache and block Gages fiery eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I’m getting out and getting away. You’re not. I can’t do this. Now leave. If he finds out you’re here…” I looked around the bare room, chaos and fear filling every cell of me. “He probably already knows.”

“No, he doesn’t. I took care of that last night. I told you, I can help you.”

“I don’t want your help.” I was almost shouting, but knew I couldn’t risk waking Kiera. “Now get out.” He only stared at me and I knew I had to hit harder. With his scent still covering me, and the memory of his touch fresh, I didn’t want to. But I had to. “Rusnak will be here soon.”

“What?” He charged at me, quicker than I could retreat, but stopped short of grabbing me, fists flexed at his side. “If you fucking go back to his bed after what we had, I’m done. You can’t go from my bed, to his, and back again.”

My head was pulsing, white blinding pain, and I was going to throw up. I needed him gone and his anger was only feeding mine.

“Don’t get it twisted, you came to my bed last night. Now get out.” I swallowed the wave of nausea and tears that threatened.

His eyes seared into me for a heart stopping moment, his deep breaths rasping. Then he pushed over my dresser. It landed with a room-shaking thump, drawers spilling open as he stormed out of the room and apartment, slamming the door as he left.

I WAS STILL FROZEN, STUCK IN PLACE, taking in the mess he made, mind reeling at the mess I just caused.

The tall dresser was knocked on its side. The few clothes I possessed hung out of the drawers that had opened at impact. I hoped he hadn’t broken it because I couldn’t think of a good excuse. I had been drunk and knocked it over, was the best I could think up, pathetic.

I sunk to the ground, limbs heavy and head throbbing. It didn’t matter what excuse I came up with, Rusnak would know. Gage had said he wouldn’t, but he didn’t know everything. There was a lot I wish I could tell him—I wish I had told him.

Before the sadness could consume me, my stomach flipped and I was rushing to the bathroom. I hugged the toilet as my body turned inside out. I laid on the bathroom mat with a towel covering me, taking catnaps between bouts of hurling my guts out into the toilet. And so my morning passed, until my stomach felt calm enough, and body strong enough, to venture a shower.

I had several missed calls and texts from Kyle wondering where I was and if I was coming to train. I had missed our session this morning. I texted him back, letting him know I would be in tonight, but he didn’t have to wait for me.