Insider (Exodus End #1) (8 page)

She came back to her senses slowly and realized she had Logan in a stranglehold with both legs wrapped around his shoulders and his hair tangled in her fists. She’d been humping his face. How mortifying. She released him at once. “Sorry.”

He grinned at her and rubbed his scalp with one hand. “I like that you got so carried away.”

She flushed. Again. “You do?”

He nodded. “It makes me think you like what I’m doing to you.”

“I do like it.”

His gaze never left hers as he asked, “Are you ready for more?”

“There’s more?”

“Take off your skirt.”

She hesitated. Was she really going to lose her virginity? To a gorgeous rock god with a huge cock? Nice. That drunk stranger in college who’d made her feel like the homeliest woman on the planet could bite her
fat
ass. Logan Schmidt was going to have sex with her, and she was going to love every minute of it.

She assumed.

She unfastened her skirt, tugged it down her legs, and tossed it aside. Feeling ridiculous in nothing but mismatched socks, she removed those too. She was naked. With a man. And not just any man.
This
man. Somehow she’d imagined sex should always occur in a bed beneath the covers in the dark. But apparently on a sofa in the back of a tour bus with all the lights on worked just fine too.

Toni watched Logan remove his jeans and the rest of his clothes. She couldn’t stop staring at his body. The man obviously worked out. Long, lean muscles flexed beneath his suntanned skin with each movement. She wanted to explore every inch of him. With her gaze. And her hands. And her mouth. She covered her tingling lips with the back of her hand, glad he couldn’t read her sinful thoughts. How would he react if she acted on impulse? What would he do?

Logan tore open a small square package and unrolled a condom over his massive cock. Oh wow, this was really going to happen. He was going to shove himself inside her and get rid of her blasted virginity once and for all. But how on earth would that thing fit inside her? He was huge! Were all penises that enormous? The ones she’d glimpsed on the Internet tended to be, but she was pretty sure they were enlarged with Photoshop. There was no artificial enlargement going on here. She could see it with her own eyes. Logan grabbed the base and tilted his cock up and down. Toni followed its movement like a drunk taking a sobriety test.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I might think you’re only interested in my body,” Logan said.

Still unable to tear her gaze from his cock, she said, “I’m sure there are a lot of interesting things about you.”

He shook his head. “Nope. Not really.”

Toni stretched out on the sofa and spread her arms. “Come.”

“I’m sure I will, but I plan to take my time getting there.”

He settled on top of her, supporting his upper body on his elbows. She was distinctly aware of his bare belly against hers, the way the hair on his chest teased her nipples, and that his cock was mere inches from where she wanted it.

He stroked her hair from her face and stared down into her eyes. “What do you look like without . . .”

He plucked her glasses from her nose and set them on the floor.

“My glasses! I can’t see a thing without my glasses.” She patted his face and chest as if searching for her lost glasses.

He laughed. Not five seconds too late, right on time. “Are you nearsighted?”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Can you see me?”

She could see him perfectly fine at this close distance. Expressive blue eyes. Strong jaw. Straight nose. Smiling lips. “No,” she said, becoming quite adept at lying in recent moments. “Closer.”

He moved closer. “Can you see me now?”

“Closer.”

When he inched closer, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Mmm,” he murmured and kissed her in return. He shifted his weight onto one arm so he could run his free hand up her pliant flesh. Everywhere he touched—breast, side, waist, hip—sparks of excitement danced across her skin. Logan shifted sideways, and she felt his thick cock prod her opening. She kissed him more desperately, her eyes squeezed shut, every muscle in her body tense.
It will be over in a minute
, she told herself.
And then you never have to worry about it again. Just let him in. Let him in.

“You okay?” Logan’s words vibrated against her desperate lips. “You’re so tense.”

She concentrated on relaxing. She wished he’d just do it already. He surged forward. Her flesh resisted and then gave way. He withdrew slightly and plunged deeper, tearing tender tissue in his enthusiasm to claim her.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Jeezas H Christ, that hurt. Her torn flesh burned so bad, tears flooded her eyes. She gasped brokenly, unable to stop herself from protesting the pain.

Logan pulled his mouth from hers and frowned down at her. She forced the pain not to register on her face and rocked her hips to urge him to thrust. She wasn’t sure if that would ease the sting or intensify it, but if she curled into the fetal position and started sobbing, her one-night stand with Mr. Hot Rock Star would be over before he climaxed.

His lashes fluttered as the rhythm consumed him. “Christ, Toni, your cunt is so fucking tight.”

Oh, he’d noticed. She grabbed a handful of his hair to distract him. “Do me hard, baby,” she said. She’d heard some woman say it on a porno once. It sounded rather ridiculous coming out of her mouth, but Logan didn’t laugh at her.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked, his voice a hard growl that made her belly quiver.

She nodded.

“Say it.”

“Fuck me, Logan.”

Not her smartest request, she decided, when he dug his fingers into her shoulders and thrust hard and deep. She tilted her head back and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to keep the tears locked behind her lashes. Damn, that hurt. His lips brushed her jaw, her throat. He slowed his strokes as he kissed every inch of her face.

“Beautiful Toni,” he whispered, “you’re not enjoying this as much as I am.”

Actually, it wasn’t so bad now that the initial sting had eased. The slower strokes were almost pleasant. Given time, she might even learn to like it. Maybe. Okay, probably not. Why did women claim to enjoy this? It hurt like hell.

Logan paused and stroked her hip with his fingertips. “Am I hurting you?”

“A little,” she whispered.

“You should have said something. Try wrapping your legs around my waist.”

She shifted and wrapped her legs around him. “Like this?”

“Just like that. Now stop thinking so much and feel me.”

How did he know she was thinking? It wasn’t like she could shut her brain off anyway. What kind of ridiculous request—

“Toni?” he murmured. He spoke her name as if he treasured her. Her heart expanded in her chest as if in full bloom. Why was she feeling this way? She knew there was no emotional connection between them. She was just another girl in another place willing to spread her legs for him. She had to remember that. He was her first, so she wasn’t sure if she could maintain the same detachment he felt, but she would try. Still, she wasn’t stupid enough to think anything would come of this. But at least she wasn’t a damned virgin anymore.

Logan caught her gaze. “Be with me.”

Oh, he was gorgeous. She couldn’t look away. All she could think about was how expressive his blue eyes were and how full she felt with him buried inside her. Full, but no longer in agony.

And then he started to move. Slow. Deep. Gentle thrusts.

Her breath caught and her mouth opened in surprise as sensation flooded her.

There was no pain now. Only exquisite pleasure.

She rocked with him, caught in his sultry beat. As it had before, a need inside her began to build. He gradually increased his tempo. She allowed him to carry her away to a place where carnal desires ruled and there was no room for contemplation.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “You feel me now, don’t you?”

She nodded slightly, still lost in his gaze. Her body lost in bliss.

“Are you with me?”

“Yes, I’m with you.”

“I’m with you too. You’re amazing inside, Toni.”

She bit her lip. She knew he meant inside her body, not inside her heart. Not inside her soul. Not even inside her mind. She wanted only the physical, but found separating the physical from the emotional was a lot harder than she bargained for. Sharing something this intimate, even with a virtual stranger, tugged at feelings she wished she could deny. Toni slipped her hands into his thick curls and urged his sensual mouth to mate with hers. While kissing him, she could pretend that he really liked her. Pretend he loved her. He’d never know. He’d just think she really liked kissing, not that she was pouring her heart into the gesture.
Stupid, Toni. What are you doing?
She kissed him more desperately. Her hands moved to explore his sweat-slick back, his firm ass, and the taut muscles that flexed beneath his skin with each thrust. She wished they could have more than this one time. Wished she could learn how to please him and all the ways her body could be pleased in return. She knew as soon as he figured out she’d misled him, he would be finished with her. But maybe he wouldn’t find out. Maybe she could convince him that she was only interested in a sexual relationship and was game for anything. What man would refuse that kind of arrangement?

“You’re thinking again,” Logan said. “How does a guy get a brainy woman to stop thinking while he fucks her?”

“I’m sorry. I tend to do more thinking than fu . . . screwing.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can do something about that.”

“I sure hope so.”

He shifted his body off hers slightly, and his hand moved down between their bodies. She had no idea what his intention was until his fingers brushed her clit.

“Let’s disengage that brain of yours.” He rubbed her clit with rapid, thought-shattering precision. He rocked his hips, sliding within her slightly as he brought her higher and higher with his touch. It was a moment before she realized she was calling out as her body strained toward something she knew she had to have, at the same time uncertain if she’d ever attain it. She’d brought herself to climax by stroking her clit many times in the past, but her vagina had never been filled when she’d reached orgasm. She’d never been exposed inside and out with a man buried deep within. So when her pleasure peaked and her body clenched around him, pulling at him, drawing him deeper, encouraging him to come with her, she called out to him brokenly, finally understanding what true bliss meant.

Logan shifted his fingers away and rode her climax with rapid thrusts. His body stiffened suddenly, and he groaned. Toni tried to force her eyes open. She wanted to see what a man looked like when her body brought him to his peak, but she still hadn’t recovered from her own pulsating orgasm, so she just clung to his shoulders and strained against him as he clung to her hips and let go.

Logan collapsed on top of her, his breaths harsh and ragged in her ear. She held him tightly. Though he was still buried inside of her, she wanted him closer. So close that they ceased existing as separate entities. A part of her wished they could remain like this—naked in each other’s arms—for eternity. Damn her fool heart anyway. That wasn’t how this worked and she knew it. But he let her hold him as if he instinctively knew that if she didn’t hold him against her, she’d completely fall apart.

When his breathing stilled, Logan lifted his head and grinned down at her. “That was fun.”

Fun? Well, she supposed it had been fun. It wouldn’t have been the first word she’d use to describe it.

“I want a beer,” he said. “Do you want one?”

She wasn’t much of a drinker, but less than half an hour ago she’d been a virgin, so why not? “Sure,” she said.

He pulled out and climbed to his feet. He moved his hand to remove the condom and froze. He had blood—Toni’s blood—all over him.

“Are you on your period? I wish you would have told me. We could have at least covered the sofa with a towel.”

She should have just continued with her string of lies and gone with
yes, I’m on my period, I’m menstruating like a son of a bitch today
, but instead she shook her head, fighting the ridiculous tears that were suddenly stinging her eyes. “No, that’s not it.”

Logan’s face twisted with horror. “You’re a virgin?” It was more an accusation than a question.

“Was,” she whispered.

The man should start a new Olympic sport—speed dressing. He’d definitely win the gold. Before she could even apologize for misleading him, he was gone.

Toni rolled onto her side and curled her body into a little ball. What was done was done. She wasn’t going to let herself cry over this. Much.

Four

Logan darted into the bathroom and scrubbed the traces of Toni’s blood from his body. A virgin? How could she possibly have been a virgin? She was at least twenty-five. Gorgeous women in their midtwenties with huge tits were not virgins. He was sure of it.

He’d seen the signs, though. So easily believed her lies when she told him her skittishness was an act. Hell, those actions had turned him on and made his dick so hard he could have used it to mine for diamonds. He couldn’t deny it.