Insperatus (20 page)
Authors: Kelly Varesio
Traith felt pain and pressure raining down on him like boulders. “I can remember being human once, and the pain I felt afterward was indescribable. I remember at least that, and that’s enough.” His words faded off, and he looked down at his feet, putting his cold hands on his face, and then on his knees. “I don’t want to bloody do this, but I can’t lose her.”
He reached for Rein’s body, taking a seat on the bed. Her head hung back as he picked her up and lifted her onto his lap, his one hand holding her head and the other holding her hands.
Her red lips unlocked, and he witnessed her scabbed puncture wound.
Her body dropped to the bed.
“
I can’t,” he shuttered. “Look at her.”
I can’t,” he shuttered. “Look at her.”
“
Traith, you have not eaten for far too long. You are what you are, no matter what you want. You’ll bring her back to life, and if she is so terribly frightened of becoming what you are, let her die again. Trust me, not your blasted humanity, for once!”
Traith, you have not eaten for far too long. You are what you are, no matter what you want. You’ll bring her back to life, and if she is so terribly frightened of becoming what you are, let her die again. Trust me, not your blasted humanity, for once!”
Carden approached him slowly, and, for a moment, Traith thought he was going to try and comfort him.
But no, Carden merely approached him to lift Saria and drain her—
instantly, without another thought. He cut one of his wrists with his teeth and held it to Saria, allowing her to consume his running blood through her open, unmoving mouth.
Traith shifted his sight from Carden to Rein, whose head was in his hands. He lifted her once more, his body tense. Her black hair had unraveled and fell through his fingers. With his thumb, he lifted her chin, revealing her thin, unmarked throat. He turned her face, and he drew his mouth close to her jugular, feeling fresh blood that had once pumped through it with his thumb.
She was dead, yes, but he knew he had the power to bring back those in death. The body had to be fresh; if he gave the bitten his own blood, they would turn. If he didn’t, they would die. Simple as that.
He could feel her blood, though it wasn’t moving. He could feel it. His body became instantly desirous of it.
Why can I feel it?
His eyes closed.
What am I doing?
His mouth met her throat, and he bit down, grasping her.
It was the first time that he had drunk the fresh blood of a person, as far as he knew and hoped. He didn’t want to believe it was mandatory, but as he continued to consume her blood a new and tantalizing sensation overwhelmed him, and the twinge that ate at him disappeared in a matter of moments. He yearned for more.
He pulled back. There was little to no more blood inside of her. His mouth was wet; he felt it. His fingertips were red.
He quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He wanted more, and it made him sick. Blood came slowly out of the two puncture marks left in her neck, like pin pricks, only swollen. He wiped the blood off her throat with his thumb, and with an amazing amount of willpower, wiped it on her dress.
In a state of numbness, he pulled a knife out of his boot and cut his own wrist. Blood began to flow freely, and he held it up to her. It drizzled into her mouth.
And then it was done.
Carden reminded him of where he was.
“
Take Rein to her own chamber,” he said.
Take Rein to her own chamber,” he said.
Traith felt as though he were going to fall over with weakness in seeing his friend. His friend? His friend did that? Why was he his friend?
Though he was not an evil person, Carden was happy and complete, and the more Traith saw how happy his friend was, the sicker he felt. With regret swallowing him whole, he picked up Rein’s body and left Saria’s quarters, not stopping to speak another word or give another glance to Carden Romanoff.
Chapter 24
Traith staggered through the corridor of the West Hall. Though he was easily strong enough to hold her body, the intense swaying of the ship made it hard to keep balanced. Even through the dark blanket of air he could see her features changing as he walked. His heart plummeted when he noticed her white teeth lengthen. He swallowed his pain as he looked down at her perfect hands. Her nails had already become sharper and darker, and her skin remained as it was in her death.
He approached her chamber and glanced ahead two doors at his own chamber. He looked down at her in his arms. He withdrew one of his hands from underneath her lifeless body, holding her with only one arm. He stumbled awkwardly into the door and pulled on the knob. It was locked. With a harder twist, he easily broke the knob and entered the chamber. With his free hand, he closed the door behind him.
The sconce in her room was still lit, so there was a dim glow throughout the quarters. He laid her on the bed softly, her limp body stiffening when it met the mattress.
His thoughts haunted him. He had done something evil, something he couldn’t ever fix without death. He had taken it upon himself to do it. He was still fighting in his head whether his decision was the right one or not.
That was exactly the captain’s intent. To torture him by making him decide to either let Rein die, or bite her and drain her of her blood to awaken something different. The captain had murdered many people whom he’d picked off of the shores for a passage fee, but Traith couldn’t have saved them, and he certainly hadn't felt love for any of them. Not for any other woman in the world but her. This ship was never going to America like Rein had hoped.
He hated that man with every ounce of himself.
It would be a few hours before she awoke. He took a seat quietly in a chair, staring around her living area. It was just as his own was, but less cluttered and destroyed.
His own chamber was dark and cluttered, with things broken and left to collect dust. He never cared if his stateroom was clean. It was never his idea to be on this ship, nor to be on it for this long.
Nor to fall in love.
He thought about going back to his chamber, but he knew he had to be there for her when she awoke.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table, putting his face in his hands. He spoke to himself with muffled words. “What in God’s name have I done to this girl?” he asked himself in a whimper.
Rein Pierson—a name he liked, a name he would never forget, wherever she was to go. But maybe she would stay with him. Or maybe she would try to kill him or kill herself. But perhaps not. No. She was a sensible girl. She would at least think first. She
had
to think first!
had
to think first!
He stared down at his wrist. A knifed scar was left there from where he cut himself to give her his own blood. The wound was healed, but he’d still given himself another scar to add to his collection. Thank God all the others weren’t from
this
. They were from the suffering he’d gone through. That torture when they bit him. He looked at his forearms. The scars were there too. And on his stomach and his back, and legs. And what about his face? Of course. Carden had spoken of those on more than one occasion—so had Rein.
this
. They were from the suffering he’d gone through. That torture when they bit him. He looked at his forearms. The scars were there too. And on his stomach and his back, and legs. And what about his face? Of course. Carden had spoken of those on more than one occasion—so had Rein.
If only he could see himself in the bloody mirror!
He glanced over at her vanity. It had a mirror, unlike his. He dared not approach it. His heart would crush under his ribs. He had been a normal man, once, and the normal man inside of him had never vanished, even if its reflection had.
He saw her small bag opened on the center table by his elbows, and underneath it, some written-on paper. He read through the papers; they were her writings. Poems, story ideas. Then he stood and picked up a book that was inside. He could smell the perfume she wore so often lingering on it. Some sort of flower, perhaps. He couldn’t tell, but it taunted him. A bookmark marked her last read page.
Sense and Sensibility
. He wasn’t familiar with the book, so he checked to see when it had been published: 1811. Thirty-two years ago.
Sense and Sensibility
. He wasn’t familiar with the book, so he checked to see when it had been published: 1811. Thirty-two years ago.
He had been on this ship, then.
Just as bitterness was about to break him, he was thrashed forward and onto the floor by a fierce jerk of the ship. The table was knocked on top of him, as were her things. Rein, as if sleeping, slid to the side of the bed and fell. He scrambled to get out from under the table, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to catch her.
But she landed in his arms in an immediate flash. He kicked the table to the side and stared at her. The bed was on the other side of the chamber.
He again tried to escape his own devastation as he gazed down at her. She looked so lovely, though her life had been stripped from her.
He flinched when he felt her begin to stir, freeing him from his own mind. Somehow, she had begun to awaken in his arms. Her arm stretched and touched his neck and face, but she was still in a drugged-like state. He stumbled up with her, walked to the bedside, and laid her again on the bed. She didn’t open her eyes but calmly ran her fingers over the silk sheets.
In a moment’s time, he would need to explain something unexplainable. He stood, trying to prepare himself for the terror that would soon engulf the room.
Chapter 25
She felt so comfortable, so relaxed. She opened her eyes slightly and could see Traith looking out the dusty, dark porthole. She could see the canopy with black mesh above her, small bits hanging down over the sides.
She let her fingers run up and down the sheets, her mind swimming with thoughts as she was slowly recalling the events of the evening. She could remember Traith, and others, around her, and she remembered there was something wrong with him, with Traith.
She opened her eyes and saw him walk over to her, hesitation in each of his steps. “Rein?”
She stuttered for a moment before she could get words out and panicked. Her head shot up and she grabbed his loose shirt, her chest heaving desperately. It didn’t work. Her breathing didn’t mean anything. It didn’t
do
anything.
do
anything.
He was pulled over her bed, his hands quickly balancing him. A distraught expression had surfaced on his face. “Rein, please, calm down. Let me explain.”
Horror froze her. Her eyes were drawn to his teeth, the ones a great deal lengthened. As she pulled at his shirt, she saw those two puncture holes in his neck.
She realized her own neck was sore.
She let go of him instantly, and he glanced at the floor because she was looking at his neck. She saw his eyes fill with assorted emotions. For the first time since they had met, she saw emotion overcome him.
She placed her hand over her neck and felt two, tiny holes pierced into her skin. She felt numb with fear. She felt like a child having a nightmare. She realized there was only one creature capable of doing something like this, and it was a vampire. But they were myths. They had no true meaning. They were only pretend. Just pretend.
“
You
are
a vampire,” she murmured as a tear left her eye.
You
are
a vampire,” she murmured as a tear left her eye.
His eyes were large and dismal. “I would never hurt you, Rein.”
She let her tongue glide across her teeth.
“
And I am too.” She began to tremble.
And I am too.” She began to tremble.
He made a sort of wincing sound and turned from her. She tasted blood inside her mouth and throat and choked a moment.
“
What did you do to me?” She asked in indescribable fear. “
What
happened
? You can’t be…” She backed up into the bed. “God,
please
no.” She stopped, feeling suffocated. “They’re not real; they aren’t real, Traith.”
What did you do to me?” She asked in indescribable fear. “
What
happened
? You can’t be…” She backed up into the bed. “God,
please
no.” She stopped, feeling suffocated. “They’re not real; they aren’t real, Traith.”
He wouldn’t turn to look at her, his fingers running through his hair. Rein jumped out of the satin bed and staggered across the velvet rug to the vanity that was still standing. She caught her balance quickly and looked at herself in the mirror. She was not an image in it. Neither was Traith.
How about a picture with Miss Pierson, Traith?
“
No!” She screamed. “No!” She repeated herself many times before managing to circuit around and stare at him in horror. “I’m not breathing! Please,
God
, this
can’t
be!”
No!” She screamed. “No!” She repeated herself many times before managing to circuit around and stare at him in horror. “I’m not breathing! Please,
God
, this
can’t
be!”
Traith turned and looked at her. “Rein. Rein, that damned soul
murdered
you and your friend. The captain poisoned you. I told you I was flawed. I didn’t know what to do—you were
dead
, and the only way for you to live again was…You must understand…”
murdered
you and your friend. The captain poisoned you. I told you I was flawed. I didn’t know what to do—you were
dead
, and the only way for you to live again was…You must understand…”
Rein continued to stare at him, fear gripping her. Her screaming ceased, and panic, the uttermost, truest panic, overwhelmed her. She looked down at herself. Her once cream dress was stained with blotches of red.
He wasn’t lying. He finally wasn’t.
She watched the striking gentleman and had no further notion of how to act or what to say. He tried to approach her, but she backed up even further and placed her hands to her mouth and felt the pointed canines that now replaced her once-regular ones. Her face and body were cold and her hands were colorless. She then felt the holes pierced into her skin and was chilled. She noticed a strange difference in her sight. An amazing difference. Better.
“
Your eyes are not red because of any laboratory accident,” she said, shaking, and she coughed in panic and loss of voice from her shouting. “You can’t
be this
!” she yelled hoarsely with tears swelling and streaming.
Your eyes are not red because of any laboratory accident,” she said, shaking, and she coughed in panic and loss of voice from her shouting. “You can’t
be this
!” she yelled hoarsely with tears swelling and streaming.
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