Instant Temptation (32 page)

“You mentioned an epiphany.”

“I don’t want to say good-bye.”

He nodded, and ran a finger over her jaw. “Is there anything you do want?”

“You.”

“You already have me.”

“No, I mean…more than just…”

“Casual?”

“Yes,” she whispered, talking fast, as if that could help her make him understand. “Here’s the thing. I can’t seem to breathe without you. And I really need to breathe, TJ.”

His lips twitched, his eyes warmed. “Harley,” he said very softly, and she nearly lost it.

“No, listen,” she said. “I know you didn’t want—that we said—”

He took one of her waving hands in his and pressed it to his chest. Beneath, she could feel the steady beat of his heart, and it helped calm hers. “Me too, Harley. All of it. I want you so damn much. I want to be with you, only you. I want everything that you can give me.”

“What about your trips?”

“I can take ’em or leave ’em. What I can’t do without is you.”

She felt the smile and the tears rush together, and she became utterly and completely sure of at least one thing. “Not casual.”

He shook his head solemnly. “There’s nothing casual about how I feel about you.”

She lurched up and pretty much threw herself at him, crawling up his body. Rising to his full height, he had one arm beneath her butt, the other across her back and right there on top of the world he kissed her, claimed her. In response, she sank her fingers into his hair, pouring out everything she had, all the heat, affection, frustration, fear, love…all of it into that one kiss.

“Ahem,” Nick said from behind them. “The pastor said we’re on the five-minute countdown.”

They kept kissing.

Nick sighed. “You two do realize there’s no closet door this time, right? That we can all see you?”

TJ slowly let Harley slide down his body, taking a minute to scrape his teeth over her jaw, and when she moaned, he let out a low growl of appreciation and bent his head again, but Nick stepped close and slapped a hand on his chest.

Without taking his eyes off Harley, TJ said, “We have five minutes. You just said so yourself.”

Nick shook his head and walked away.

Grinning.

TJ pulled some papers out of his pocket. Harley’s employment papers, the ones she’d filled out earlier for Stone. “I found these.”

“Stone told you.”

“That you want to temp for us as our new outdoor specialist and photographer? Yeah.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Actually…” She held her breath, then bent and opened her backpack, pulling out a pencil. “Can I see those? I have a change to make.”

He peeked into her well-organized pack. “Wow. Impressive.”

“You like? A good friend taught me how to organize it.”

His eyes were quiet and assessing. “A good friend?”

“The best kind of friend. My everything friend.” She flipped through the pages to the end. “It occurred to me that I’ve always had a lot of temporary stuff in my life. I’m hoping to change that, and upgrade to a more permanent status.” She erased the “temporary” on her application, then leaned in and wrote permanent. She looked up. “If there’s still a place for me.”

“There will always be a place for you, at Wilder, and in my heart. Turn it over, Harley.”

She felt a little dizzy from his words, and the deep meaning behind them. “What?”

“The application. Turn it over.”

She flipped the pages over. He’d written her name at the top, and then a list of qualifications:

She burst out laughing. “Makes you hot is a con?”

“I couldn’t think of anything bad.”

“Liar.”

He smiled and ran his thumb over her jaw. “Okay, maybe I just like you how you are, faults and all.”

Her breath caught. “Even though I have a hard time putting how I feel into words?”

“You’ve shown me how you feel. In actions.”

Her throat caught. He got her, really got her. She closed her eyes and opened her heart, and for the first time in her life, took a real risk. “You once asked me what was going on between you and me. I never answered you.”

“I know. We’ve been waiting for you to decide.”

“I’ve been a little slow on the uptake,” she admitted. “I didn’t have the words then, but I have the words now.”

He reached for her hand and brought it to his mouth. “Do you?”

“I love you, TJ.” She was a little startled at how easily the words came. “I think I always have.”

He looked stunned, and she took a moment to realize that he hadn’t been sure exactly what she was offering him. And with that, she faced something else. All along she’d understood that she was out of her element, far from her comfort zone when it came to him, but the truth was, he was just as far out of his comfort zone, and just as off balance.

She’d rendered him speechless. Before the smug smile could spread across her face, he’d grabbed her in a crushing hug, burying his face in her neck. There was no sly teasing, no sexy innuendo, nothing but him holding her like he planned to never let her go. “I wasn’t happy in Alaska,” he whispered. “For the first time, I needed out of there.” He pulled back a step and slid his hands up to cup her face so she could see his tender smile. His voice, when it came, was low and gruff with emotion. “It wasn’t home.”

“You’ve been gone from Wishful for much longer before.”

“No. Well, yeah. But that’s not what I’m getting at. I missed you next to me.”

Undone, throat tight, heart pounding, it took her a moment to respond. “Home is being next to me?”

“Now you’re getting there.” His smile warmed her from the inside out. “Yeah, home is being next to you. And on top of you. And underneath,” he murmured. “And buried deep inside…”

With a laugh, she walked back into his arms. And found her own sense of home.

Harley sat at one of the many decorated tables arranged across the lodge’s expansive back deck. Cam’s and Katie’s wedding reception was in full swing. Guests were dancing, eating, talking, laughing.

It was a beautiful January evening, a cool thirty-four degrees, but there were freestanding heaters at every corner, and no one felt the chill.

Least of all Cam and Katie, locked in each other’s arms in the center of the makeshift dance floor. Stone and Emma weren’t too far away, swaying to the music as well.

Harley sighed in pleasure, enjoying the sense of…peace. She and TJ had just come back from co-guiding a three-week bike trip in Costa Rica. She could stil feel the warmth from the long days in the sun.

And the longer nights in TJ’s arms. Oh yeah, that was definitely her favorite part. The way he looked at her, held her, touched her.

As she smiled with the memories, he came back to the table. He’d ditched his tux jacket and tie, had untucked his white shirt, and looked good enough to finish unwrapping and eat for dessert. He held two flutes of champagne, smiling as he handed her one, his eyes filled with heat and affection.

There were no more long treks on the schedule. If any booked, Harley and TJ would probably take them, but for the time being they were back in Wishful. She’d moved into his cabin. During the days, he was working the shorter adventures with his brothers, and she joined in when needed. She was also working for the local forest service on a part-time basis as their wildlife biologist liaison.

But the favorite part of her life was sleeping next to TJ every night. They’d not talked about the next step, but her heart was so full she knew it would all come.

“Here. Hold this.”

Harley blinked as Annie gently shoved a pink bundle in her arms.

Not-Abigail.

Who’d turned out to be Abigail after all. Eight pounds of pure, beautiful, tyrannical joy. She was a real Wilder-in-training, too. At two weeks old, she had every single person in her orbit wrapped around her cute little pinky finger.

Harley was terrified of her. “Annie, I—”

Annie was gone, on the dance floor with Nick.

Oh, God. Harley stared down in terror at the infant, who yawned and stared back, smacking her perfect little heart-shaped mouth before letting out a shuddery sigh of contentment.

Or gas.

And Harley’s heart, frozen in terror only a moment before, did the oddest thing. It completely softened, and she turned to look at TJ in marvel. She actually…wanted one. Not that she’d say that out loud, never, but—

“You want one,” he whispered.

“God. I think I do.”

TJ laughed softly and slipped an arm around Harley, reading her mind as easily as he always read her body. “Okay,” he murmured, letting his mouth brush her ear. “But first things first.”

Her breath caught. “Like?”

“A wedding.”

Her heart swelled until she could hardly breathe. “Really?”

“Really.” He pulled her in a little closer, and with his other hand, gently stroked a finger over Abigail’s soft cheek. “And then all the practicing required for one of these. Lots of practicing, Harley.”

She laughed, her heart so full it actually hurt. “We’ve been doing that, every night for months.”

“You can never practice enough.”

She actually glanced back at the lodge, thinking of the closet.

TJ grinned. “I love how you think, Future Mrs. Wilder.”

She grinned back, then squealed in shock as Annie took Abigail back and yelled in happy surprise,

“Future Mrs. Wilder?”—repeating TJ’s words. “Did you just get engaged?”

In no time, the whole family moved close to hear more, and it was an entire case of champagne later before TJ got Harley in the closet to begin their practicing.

“Merilee said I could bring a date to the wedding, then got in this dig about whether I was seeing anyone, or between losers. I’d really hate to show up alone.”

He’d learned not to trust that gleam in her eyes, but couldn’t figure out where she was heading. “You only just broke up with NASCAR Guy.” Usually it took her two or three months before she fell for a new man. In the inbetween time she hung out more with him, as she’d been doing recently.

Her lips curved. “I love how you say ‘NASCAR Guy’ in that posh Brit accent. Yeah, we split two weeks ago. But I think I may have found a great guy to take to the wedding.”

Damn. His heart sank. “You’ve already met someone new? And you’re going to take him as your date?”

“If he’l go.” The gleam was downright wicked now. “What do you think?”

He figured a man would be crazy not to take any opportunity to spend time with her. But…“If you’ve only started dating, taking him to a wedding could seem like pressure. And what if you caught the bouquet?” If Nav was with her and she caught the damned thing, he’d tackle the minister before he could get away, and tie the knot then and there.

Not that Kat would let him. She’d say he’d gone out of his freaking mind.

“Oh, I don’t think this guy would get the wrong idea.” There was a laugh in her voice.

“No?”

She sprang off the washer, stepped toward him, and gripped the front of his rugby jersey with both hands, the brush of her knuckles through the worn blue-and-white-striped cotton making his heart race and his groin tighten. “What do you say, Nav?”

“Uh, to what?”

“To being my date for the wedding.”

Hot blood surged through his veins. She was asking him to travel across the country and escort her to her sister’s wedding?

Had she final y opened her eyes, opened her heart, and real y seen him? Seen that he, Naveen Bharani, was the perfect man for her? The one who knew her perhaps better than she knew herself. Who loved her as much for her vulnerabilities and flaws as for her competence and strength, her generosity and sense of fun, those sparkling eyes, and the way her sexy curves filled out her Saturday-morning sweats.

“Me?” He lifted his hands and covered hers. “You want me to go?”

She nodded vigorously. “You’re an up-and-coming photographer. Smart, creative.” Face close to his, she added, eyes twinkling, “Hot, too. Your taste in clothes sucks, but if you’d let me work on you, you’d look good. And you’re nice. Kind, generous, sweet.”

Yes, he was al of those things, except sweet—another wimp word, like dol . But he was confused. She thought he was hot, which was definitely good. But something was missing. She wasn’t gushing about how amazing he was and how crazy she was about him, the way she always did when she fell for a man. Her beautiful eyes were sharp and focused, not dreamy. Not fil ed with passion or new love. So…what was she saying?

He tightened his hands on hers. “Kat, I—”

“Will you do it? My family might even approve of you.”

Suspicion tightened his throat. He forced words out. “So I’d be your token good guy, to prove you don’t always date assholes.”

“Ouch. But yes, that’s the idea. I know it’s a lot to ask, but please? Wil you do it?”

He lifted his hands from hers and dropped them to his sides, bitter disappointment tightening them into fists.

Oblivious, she clenched his jersey tighter, eyes pleading with him. “It’s only one weekend, and I’l pay your airfare and—”

“Oh, no, you won’t.” He twisted away abruptly, and her hands lost their grip on his shirt. Damn, there was only so much battering a guy’s ego could take. “If I go, I’l pay my own way.” The words grated out. He turned away and busied himself heaving laundry from his washer to a dryer, trying to calm down and think. What should he do?

Practicalities first. If he agreed, would it affect the exhibit? No, all she was asking for was a day or two. He could escort her, make nice with her family, play the role she’d assigned him. He’d get brownie points with Kat.

“Nav, I couldn’t let you pay for the ticket. Not when you’d be doing me such a huge favor. So, wil you? You’re at least thinking about it?”

Of course he’d already accumulated a thousand brownie points, and where had that got him? Talking about roles, she’d cast him as the good bud two years ago and didn’t show any signs of ever promoting him to leading man.