Intentionality (10 page)

The scene this morning in which I am a reticent participant reminds me of the old films screened in the recreation sector; the ones that are in black and white, with exuberant singing and dancing actresses, who for no apparent reason spring out of nowhere in the middle of a scene. This type of storytelling played out on screen makes for fabulous viewing as we are certain that this extreme optimism and jollity can only be an act of pure fiction. If you look critically, the actors in full camera shot are happy beyond belief and those in the periphery are forcing a grin, just long enough to earn their place as a silent bystander in the next film.

That is the scene in our world this morning. We are singing and dancing actresses. Everything is focussed on us. This is our day, anyone else in our vicinity is either surplus to our requirements or there to assist our smooth transition; in effect residing in the periphery, waiting for their day to shine.

Our larger than life scenes are taking place along the silent, smooth, sanitised corridor, a fabulously serene backdrop to the vibrancy of the girls passing through it. I don't need the travelators today; as a matter of fact I didn't need an alarm call either. Lily and I were dressed in regulation school wear before the computer wished us a fine morning, with its melodic simulated sunrise program.

We have already gathered our friends, who are at this moment completing a rendition of a particularly rousing rock song from before the Evo-shift. Its words retell something about a final countdown and us leaving together. In our hypnotic ‘good humour' trance, it seems to be completely appropriate, even at this early hour.

We are in transit to the Edu-pod for the Ascension test briefing. Our expectation is that first we will be lectured on the huge responsibility bestowed upon us as an accelerated learning group.

After that we will be preened and polished to meet the exacting standards of Natura. Only when we meet the predetermined style standards of the Grand Acer, will Natura make a scheduled yet seemingly, completely spontaneous visit, when she will also discuss our value to the people of Intentionality.

Finally we will be led, robed and glowing into the Great Ascension Hall. This is only used for Ascension. The Great Hall has sensor stations positioned in the centre of the room. These are essentially the type of chair that you are supposed to say is comfortable while having your teeth checked by the Dental Mono. There is no choice and it just makes it worse saying that you are uncomfortable, because it prolongs the inevitable. They are what they are, creaking plastic and cushion-covered tables. Each chair is altered to our own individual height and weight statistics before we enter. We should feel at home immediately. There will be a small footplate and cushioned arm rests. The most vital piece of machinery will then be positioned by the senior medical Monos; this is, in effect, a large, individual, curved screen. Almost like a diving helmet, but much larger. Due to its weight, it is attached to the back of the chair. The helmet screen has integral audio and visual stimulators. It is these that are the catalyst to initiate our brainpower output. We will already have been fitted with small copper plates around our head, resembling an ill-fitting royal crown. These copper plates are connected to various ports, protruding from the helmet. The plates are power output sensors. They read and then relay our power response.

The viewing pods are seated areas hanging from the sides of the Great Hall. They are sound proofed and have been fitted with shaded black glass so that we cannot be deterred from our mission. Spectators must be seated at least thirty minutes before the Seeders arrive into the hall. After the pods are fully occupied, they are hoisted above the ground on large metal poles. It's worth going to the Ascension test just for the ride!

Lily and I have been viewing this spectacle for almost ten years now. It never fails to impress and simultaneously create a ripple of terror. Natura persists in reading the same speech each time, and then leads each Seeder to her sensor station. She makes a point of holding the girl's hand and kissing her forehead before coldly returning to the next candidate. Each station has a bulb scoring system. It represents the power emitted by the Seeder's mind. The bulbs are colour coded. A low power output is blue, sequentially followed by purple, red, orange and concluding in an illustrious golden glow.

The golden glow represents far more than the top achievement. It is the key to Intentionality, hence the nickname of the ‘Golden City'. The response to this glow is instantaneous. The Seeder is no longer the property of The Nest; the Grand Acer ceremoniously parades the Seeder to a golden exit door. Most Seeders reach the golden glow within minutes, a few take a little longer. The sensor station switches to a dormant white after ten minutes. Because the sensor requires such a high amount of energy, it is very unlikely after ten minutes that any Seeder would be able to succeed.

We are aware of the procedure for the test because we have been routinely tested in the last few weeks, but we have not been informed about the schedule once we exit through the golden doors. Lily and I have of course been part of The Harvest celebrations that follow the Ascension, but they take place in the afternoon. During these celebrations, we have previously watched the award and memento presentations on a large screen. After that we have traditionally lined the corridors to watch the New Acers final journey; along the travelators, to the upper deck concourse for sub boarding. The New Acers are then taken out of our lives forever.

It would be incredibly heart-wrenching if we didn't trust what we have always been told; that they are now happily enhancing the life potential of Intentionality, and indeed themselves, living a life that is free.

We have now entered the preparation pod, along the corridor I can see the shape of Mrs Alder approaching. I had never noticed before that she chooses to dress in black for the ceremony. It doesn't suit her, she looks haggard. It dulls my morning excitement. More worrying is the faint buzz I can hear. It sounds like a computer left on standby with the fan working to cool the inner workings. I have checked with Lily, she can't hear it. It has been dormant for the last few days; maybe even a week has passed without a sound. I think it disappeared the very day I decided that staying was an option. Why would it return today?

“Girls, it is with great pleasure and a little heartbreak that I stand before you. That I have to send you away when you are so innocent and pristine, is a regretful element to my job. My wish, as always, is that I could find a way to perpetuate your life with us here. However, it has been an honour to witness your growth,” whispered Mrs Alder, with I am sure the beginnings of tears welling at the corner of each eye.

She turned then and was quite suddenly hurried away by a Mono guard, emotion overriding her usually sombre controlled persona.

Now, here we stand with uniformed chaperones and Ascension organisers but without the personal touch that our teacher would represent.

*

We are all now clothed in identical jumpsuits. Our hair has been drawn back into a semi ponytail with the back strands curling onto our shoulders. Skye of course looks utterly gorgeous, any garment on her frame is a work of art; Summer has managed to personalise hers, somehow talking the chaperone into allowing her to wear her own hair accessories and a sparkling belt. Grace is as usual more concerned about settling everyone than bothering about herself. Lily and I are just waiting. I am watching my friends go about their business, separated once more by a greater influence than purely distance. Those buzzing irritations that began on entry to the pod are back with a vengeance. I am left outside the box once more. I can't really hear what is said, I definitely can't answer any question that would entail more than a yes, no response. Lily knows and is being quite protective.

Natura is announced; she walks in, full of the charisma of a jellyfish and stands waiting to be adored. She is smaller than I envisaged and much, much older. She carries herself like a witch in the fairy stories written before the Evo-shift, almost haggard but with a small amount of menace just emanating from within. This is not entirely what I expected from the daughter of Eve. During our lessons we had studied this family closely, both Eden our founder and Eve her daughter were doll like in their appearance, Cinderella to Natura's ugly sister act, Snow White versus the Snow Queen. We bow our heads in turn as instructed, even though this makes me feel giddy. After a silence, which seems to stretch along the whole of her allotted time, she speaks in a strained screech.

“My mother and my mother's mother applaud the efforts you have made to prepare yourselves hastily to accommodate the rescheduling of The Harvest. I am aware that one of you fell by the wayside prematurely. I can promise that she will be assisted to a full and fruitful recovery. Let us now take a moment to ponder silently as to the magnitude of our task today, and what that will mean for the future of Intentionality.”

I am silent. I am sure no sound is oozing from my head, but the moment Natura walked into the room, the buzzing reformed into almost intelligible words.

It sounds like before.

It sounds like…

ESCAPE.

It is spoken in so many different languages that I can barely make it out.

Escape from what?

It's too late by far to be trying to help anyone.

Natura is led silently to the entrance of the Great Hall. She turns to bow her head, sets her stare, first on me and then Lily. A small glint seems to appear in her eyes. Does she know where we are going? Has she been looking for the history making twins and has just located us in her view? She halts again momentarily just before she reaches the line of the door, takes a deep breath almost preparing her for the next scene in the theatre production and waits for the door to move. An Acer that I do not recognise, who must be part of Natura's entourage, counts down from ten.

The doors have eased mechanically ajar; we are all left agog at the splendour of the Great Ascension Hall, seen from an alternative perspective.

Natura is led once again into the epicentre of The Nest. The excitement is causing great tides of heat to flow towards us, hugging us like a blanket. This is it, we are on our way! We only need to prove our competency with the power of our minds to progress to the rest of our lives.

Summer is bouncing, Skye is focussed. Both I am sure feeling nervousness and exhilaration in equal bursts, showing it in completely different ways. Lily and I are holding hands. She has stopped communicating to me, because she knows it's just one more voice amongst the others. Grace is behind shepherding the rest. I look up to find amongst the crowd Mrs Jones and Nurse Spendlove. They are smiling, calm. However it feels like they are just putting on a brave face for us, to get us through the next twenty minutes.

Natura has completed her repetitious rallying speech. She requests that the audience chant the Anthem of Intentionality before the blackened glass windows of the viewing pods are closed. In unison, The Nest voices connect as one.

I know there is silence, there always is following the Anthem. I can't hear the silence because there is now yelling in my head. Something is imploring me, shrieking at the top of its voice, but there is still no explanation. It makes no sense. I can't think clearly enough to work out who may be trapped. I am certainly not in the habit of rescuing anyone. It's usually me in need of a hero, more often than not, in the form of my patient sister. (Who, as far as I can tell, is not in trouble?)

I am third in the line. I should be fourth. Dawn would usually be there, upfront in the register line, placing her communicator band onto the sensor. With her absent from the roll call I am just behind Grace and Lily. Lily has boarded her sensor station. She has just this moment disappeared from sight. Before she paced away, she glimpsed behind, blew me a kiss and made a heart shape with her hands. I shall focus on that when it is my turn.

Natura is creeping towards me. She really makes me feel uncomfortable. I know that I must hold her hand, as that is the representation of my passage from The Nest to Intentionality. My body is woozy, reeling from the onslaught of sound. If I hesitate, the reaction will displease her. I have to ascend with Lily. I have come so far. I will not fall to the floor in my usual manner. I will fight with every bit of courage that I can find.

I FAILED. No that's not accurate. I couldn't have failed because in order to fail, you actually need to have attempted to pass.

The world went black.

I did get to sit at my station and my heart rhythm persisted in a regular pattern while the headset was positioned and locked in place. Then my body went into spasm, the sensors picked up a huge electrical surge that frazzled the electrical instruments in the chair leading to a total power out situation… followed by absolutely nothing. I did in fact die. Not just your regular faint, my heart actually discontinued its dance.

Nurse Spendlove tells me that the Great Hall was evacuated, while I was removed from the sensor station and revived with an electrical impulse instrument. It was I am told only the copper sensors in my head that saved me. They conducted the electric shock so well that my heart immediately resumed an almost perfect rhythm. Yet I remained deeply unconscious.

I Failed.

Lily has ascended.

I knew that I wouldn't see that happen, as the sensor stations are completely cocooned. But I had expected to see her through the golden doors. I had expected this, up until the moment the buzzing began. I had expected this even, until the words became clear and the shrieking began. After that there was only blind hope, no real expectation.

I Failed.

Skye, Grace and Summer are with my Lily now. I am alone, and not even insanely alone. I am completely rational and healthy in my loneliness. In some cruel twist of fate, the very voices that short circuited my body, have decided to disappear. I awoke to the silence that I had begged for earlier in the day. In fact I am so healthy and sane, that I have been discharged in time to take part in The Harvest.

I Failed.

Willem is on his way over to my living unit, to meet me when I return from the medical sector. I know this because his has been the only clear voice that I have heard in my head since I woke. The other voice is Lily. She is sobbing uncontrollably, partly because of the shock of my dramatic exit and partly because she is also alone for the first time. They would have been cocooned in their stations without information for a very long time. They would not have been informed as to the reason. She is telling me that she must have been appreciating fabulous views of Intentionality on the screen while I lay dying in the station next to her. She does recall her body jolting and me whispering sorry, but other than that she was kept calm and completely uninformed until the very last Seeder had entered the golden achievement room. At that very moment she knew I had failed, she didn't know to what dramatic extent. She is still blaming herself for not attempting to calm me, when she knew I was struggling. I don't blame her. It was unavoidable right from the moment Natura walked in.

I Failed.

But I plan to be strong, wave her off along the travelators.

I plan to be on the next sub.

“Lily you must try to enjoy this next experience. We have never seen this part of the ceremony. Consider it your opportunity to fill my brain with wonder and knowledge. So that when it becomes my turn to re-enter the Great Ascension Hall again, I shall have nothing but wonderful experiences to look forward to,” I communicated.

“Oh Mae, you are truly recovered. I can tell. The heavy feeling around me has disappeared. We are being prepared for the journey. Apparently the sub has sleeping quarters, with silk sheets and an outside view from every bunk. I am sitting in a luxurious room Mae, there are oil paintings hung around the room depicting the journey. Could they have been painted by the new Acers as they travelled to Intentionality?”

“Lily, tell me more about what you can see. Are the others with you? Have you communicated to Willem? Is Natura with you? Did you notice that she stared at us both before she went into the Great Hall?”

I have asked too many questions, I am aware of that, but it is true what I said. Maybe I can drown out the buzz next time with positive memories, even if they have been borrowed from my twin sister!

“We have not seen Natura. The very last time I saw her, she had entirely removed her calm, measured, personable character and was completely livid. She stormed out of the golden room, the shock waves of her furious passage almost wafting the chaperone into the table of celebration food. I wasn't in any fit state to wonder why at the time because we had just been told about your dalliance with death. All I heard was my own hysterical crying and the feeling that someone, most probably Grace was holding me up.

“I have had congratulations from Willem and advice regarding you. I did ask him an awful lot of questions at first; he was wonderfully authoritative in a crisis. He only told me the truth, which is exactly what I needed. He promised never to sugar-coat the news and so when he told me that you had made a full recovery, I had absolutely no doubt that he was telling me the truth. Not just feeding me lies to make me board the sub.

“I think we will be fed before we go, but we have also been asked to list our favourite meals so that they may be prepared and taken with us on the journey. I have selected our favourite Mae, so that a little piece of you is with me, fresh pasta in a creamy sauce for one meal, pizza with broccoli, mushrooms and sweetcorn for another. Everyone laughed because I didn't choose luxury foods but I don't care, I shall need a bit of comfort. Skye went for food that I have barely heard of like smoked salmon parfait and cherry infused Greek yoghurt.

“The others are around, however we have each been gifted the use of our own bedroom suite to collect our thoughts, remove the jumpsuit then dress ourselves appropriately for The Harvest ceremony. Mae, I am not a Seeder anymore! I don't need my uniform. As I walked incredulously into this suite I was told to open the clothing module. Mae it is full, I am to select three outfits. One for sleeping, I have chosen this easily. The cloth is so very soft, I thought it best to select pyjamas, and they are red, made with the best cotton fabric, edged with satin hems and matching shoulder straps. My next outfit needs to be comfortable for the journey. I have selected a navy blue exercise set, it comes with matching running shoes and a bright white T-shirt with a huge Lily embroidered on the front. I thought that was cute! I am really struggling with my third outfit. This must be smart and show our character. I think it is for The Harvest celebrations and maybe for an informal arrival ceremony once inside Intentionality.”

“Lily, go with elegant, showstopper, whatever you choose make sure you select matching tall heels and don't choose a dress that is too long. Remember we have fabulously long legs!” I advised.

“Ok I shall surprise you with that one. I must get ready now. The Harvest begins in an hour. You will be there won't you? I am desperate to see you. I have a gift for you.”

I will be there of course I will. But first I need to see Willem and thank him for watching over Lily once more. Hopefully this will be the last time he is expected to step into my role.