Intergalactic Terrorist (New Dimension Book 1) (30 page)

Chapter 46

A bounty hunter, a champion and a general scumbag stared out at space through the small, round porthole. Space stared back but didn't really seem as interested in them and so began to doze off back to its peaceful slumber. The only trouble is, as space had discovered of late, is that its peaceful slumber wasn't all that peaceful. It was confused. Stars, planets, nebulas... they were all in the wrong place or not there at all!
    Different chunks of space from various dimensions had leaked into one another, becoming one new entity, like a drop of water entering an ocean. It was a troubling time for space but, as space was a resilient old devil, it decided to try and ignore these new events and carry on life as normal.
    It was the things that lived within space that were feeling the effects.

    And they really were.
    Greebol of course already had an understanding of what was occurring. After all, himself, Charlie Pinwright, Princess An'ishia, Vegora Vrall and Professor Amirous were the only beings in existence to have witnessed the collision of the dimensions from an outsider’s point of view. It was just unfortunate that they had soon found themselves to be insiders.
    Giblet knew what was happening from the Wizard, Fungust. However he didn't fully understand it and was only now beginning to realise the scale of what had happened.
    Wextoal didn't have a clue and it seemed to be staying that way.
    "My eyes see new stars... new planets," mumbled the Dwarf, "yet for some reason I feel like I have known them my entire life."
    "Yes it does do that to you," said Greebol, thinking of himself, in present company, an expert on the matter. "It seems that those of you that were trapped within that golden glow... the cause for the dimensions collision... have been changed just like space itself."
    "Well it better change back soon," said Giblet, "for I am wary of such change." He looked at the controls on the electrical. Although they were different to the controls on his space faring vessel, he seemed to understand what they did. Yet at the same time, at the back of his mind, he began to believe that all this technology had no real place where he came from. As if it were thousands of years ahead of his time.
    Wextoal snorted and lay back, resting against one of the walls. He picked his nose. He didn't care what happened to the universe. His mind was half gone anyway.

    Greebol sat down at his work desk and, after finding it during a thorough search in Wextoal’s large pockets, began to repair the damaged
TITS
remote control. Not the greatest of electricians, Greebol used sticky tape, superglue, plasters and a chewed up blob of bubblegum. Still, it seemed to be working.
    Giblet checked the homing beacon. The dragon was heading towards a small planet that appeared to be booming with life. The Dwarf hoped the beast would take shelter there. They had been following it now for over a day and he grew tired of his travelling companions. These men had no honour, no sense of pride, no guts about them. He wanted to get to the dragon and have done with them.
    Greebol wished for the same thing. The Dwarf was far too grumpy for his liking. And a little swing-happy with that axe of his. The sooner he got to the treasure in that dragon's belly the better.

    Wextoal coughed up a hairball.
 

Chapter 47

Intelligeous Prime was a tropical, lush green world with great jungles and rivers that stretched across most of the planet. Large blue oceans covered the remainder and at the top and bottom of the globe sat two large ice covered islands with snow topped mountains and giant ice barriers. It was a picturesque world. A paradise.
    Into this great land flew the dragon, billowing through the fluffy clouds and descending down into one of the large jungles. It crashed through the trees with as much grace as it could muster, which was none at all. The tress crumpled beneath it and at least five or six species living there suddenly found themselves extinct. 

    There was a large waterhole before it, which the dragon happily began to drink from. Flying was thirsty work. All that flapping. A number of antelope and a beaver scurried away into the undergrowth, fearing this new creature. The dragon gave off the air of a predator. And a great predator it was. A hungry predator at that. It was ready for its dinner.

    Somewhere close by a rifle was loaded. Its owner raised it over his shoulder and stared through the sight. The tiny cross fixed between the dragon's eyes. He was a hunter and he wanted nothing more than to have this giant reptile's head on his wall in his kitchen.
    He rubbed his fingers on his khaki shorts, drying the sweat from them. Slowly the finger reached up for the trigger. He was ready to fire. He held his breath. He began to squeeze.
    "Stop it right there Jackal!" said a stern voice next to him. Through the bushes a group of soldiers emerged, their own rifles cocked and ready to fire. The one named Jackal growled, turned and fled, so quickly that the soldiers had no time to react. "After him!" shouted the lead.
    Jackal pushed through leaf and bark, scattering wild animals underfoot and exotic birds above. He came to a clearing. If he could just make it to the other side then he would be able to escape from the soldiers. He made a mad dash, sprinting faster than he had ever done before. He was going to make it!
    Suddenly, above him, there was an almighty roar and a dome-shaped spaceship plummeted to the ground and crashed, just feet away from him. Jackal lost his balance, tripped and fell headlong into the side of the ship. His head made a loud
thunking
sound as it collided with the hull and he fell onto his back unconscious.
    The soldiers entered the clearing and stared suspiciously at the ship. They held their rifles at the ready.
    Slowly the steps descended and the door began to open. The soldiers held their breaths in anticipation of what was to come.
    Greebol stepped out of the King George and stretched. Fresh air. It was something he was not used to. He hopped down the steps and was soon followed by Giblet and Wextoal who struggled with one another to see who could get through the door first. Giblet won.
    At the bottom of the steps, Greebol noticed a body lying next to him. He peered over. One of the strangest things he had ever seen lay next to his electrical with a large bump on his forehead. Here lay a man. At least almost a man. It had the body of a man in any case. It was the head that had Greebol baffled for the head was that of a tiger!
    The soldiers approached, surrounding the three newcomers who backed towards the electrical. The lead soldier stepped forwards, rifle by his side, hand out in welcome. The lead soldier, again had the body of a man but the head of a buffalo!
    "I thank you friend," he said, his voice strong and proud. "You have helped us to apprehend one of the most wanted hunters in the land! For this we offer you our friendship and our gratitude!"
    Greebol smiled nervously. "Erm... you are welcome," he said coyly, not fully understanding what was going on. It was only now that he noticed the appearance of the other soldiers. Each of them had a body of a man but the head of an animal. There were bear heads, dog heads, lizard heads even a fluffy white bunny head that did not seem to match his muscular body. This particular soldier seemed a little embarrassed.
    "Quick question," said Greebol, "where are we?"
    "This is Intelligeous Prime," said the buffalo man. "I am General Stouger. It is a pleasure." He extended his hand and shook Greebol’s vigorously.
    "Intelligeous Prime?" questioned Giblet stepping forwards. "I have heard of this planet. They call it a utopian world." Giblet frowned. He shouldn't have known this fact... but he did. Must have been that dimension thing again.

    "I have never seen your kind before," General Stouger said to the three, "yet I feel you are familiar to me. How strange."
    "So you are feeling the effects too?" said Greebol, the confusion he had been feeling washing away.
    "Effects of what?"
    "Oh just some sort of collision of dimensions. Nothing to worry about." Greebol patted the general on the back. "Tell me my friend... have you seen a dragon around here?"

Chapter 48

Intelligeous Prime was an interesting world. As before mentioned it is rich in life with its exotic climates and paradise-like landscapes. Life had evolved on this world, much like life evolved on most other worlds. Purely by chance.

    Amino acids helping to create single cell prokaryotes and so on and so on. Of course not all worlds evolved in this way.

    Life on the happy planet of
Karmachameleon evolved by
a random passer-by leaving an egg in a frying pan for too long. The doughnut shaped world, Hoopla, evolved by colliding into a small moon that was currently growing cress on the window ledge. The tiny planet of Mistimust, which existed in the kitchen of a dirty restaurant on a very normal sized world, evolved when a moulding piece of gorgonzola fell from the work top into it and became lodged between two mountains.

    For the majority however, life just happened.

    That isn’t to say that once life had begun it would follow the same path as everyone else. Intelligeous Prime tried to follow the norm but decided it didn’t like being a sheep and took a whole new direction. It began with the development of intelligence. The planet’s evolutionary system decided to give the stuff away. Everything got a look in. That is why, should you stroll through one of the rich, luxurious landscapes, you might happen to bump into a squirrel and have it tell you to watch where you’re going. Or a passing pigeon may drop his load on your shoulder and then apologise profusely.

    The animals here only had mild intelligence, the ability to develop speech, be able to add 1 + 1, that type of thing, but still it is a pretty impressive thing to witness. There were also rumours that some of the plant life had developed speech, but there was no hard evidence for this as plants tend to keep themselves to themselves.

    The prime species of the planet, a very Human-like race, evolved normally, but soon the progressive juices realised that if it happened to merge with its animal counterparts then things would be better, thus everyone would be happy. So it did.

    The following few hundred years were slightly awkward. People with mole heads tried to dig tunnels under the ground, whilst those with canine heads went around peeing up trees.

    Eventually, as time passed, this newly evolved species, calling themselves Intelimals, gained control of their animal instincts and a brilliant and wonderful civilisation grew.

Prowling through this brilliant and wonderful civilisation was the dragon, its green scales camouflaged against the shrubbery. It was hunting for food.

    Inside the dragon’s belly, worry filled the stagnant air. Charlie looked down to his shoes, which were beginning to sizzle. A pungent, burning smell reached his nose and he began to sweat.

    “What’s going on?” Charlie gasped.

    “The stomach is preparing itself,” answered Professor Amirous. “Preparing itself for dinner. The digestive enzymes are rising in anticipation.”

    “I Will Not Be Killed Inside This Monster!” Vrall growled. He began to run at the walls of the dragon’s stomach, pounding his large head and rock hard fists into it over and over again. The inside of the dragon reeled. Sickness began to take over. Groans and gurgles emitted from the depths.

    “That might not be such a good idea,” said Charlie, disgusting bubbling sounds echoing around him.

    Vrall turned to Charlie and growled, thrusting his fist into a rib.

    “Fair enough,” Charlie said with his hands in the air, “you’re the boss.”

    Vrall picked up a heavy bone from the ground and started to batter it into the dragon’s stomach wall.

    The dragon baulked, stomach acids rising. As it did, the contents within rose along with it, including the bones of an entire family, the remains of an old horse drawn cart and a Winnebago. There was also a stocky looking chest, wooden and with a rusty lock. It remained unnoticed, its contents jingling inside.

    The dragon’s eyes crossed. If it had not already been green, it most certainly would be now. Unable to think straight, the dragon bounded off through the jungle, its only instinct to run in the hope it could shake off this sickly feeling.

Chapter 49

    “Welcome to our village, the glorious and tranquil Lerithos,” said a fat Intelimal with the head of a mighty bull elephant. “My name is Rajar and I am the mayor of the village. You are most welcome.”

    Greebol, Giblet and Wextoal smiled an awkward smile that tried to say ‘thank you, we are happy to be here’, but conveyed more of an ‘okay… can we leave this weird place now?’

    Greebol looked around the village. It was a small clearing in the middle of the jungle. About forty wooden huts scattered across the clearing. In the centre was a long table surrounded by chairs.

    The elephant-man mayor was not the only one to greet them. At least a hundred Intelimals stood in the village centre, smiling and clapping. Greebol and the others felt like local celebrities, although they didn’t really know why.

    General Stouger and his troops moved through the crowd, Jackal dragged behind them, his hands in chains.

    “Out of the way now,” said Stouger sternly. “Come on now, out of the way!”

    Jackal was forcefully thrown onto a stone platform and chained to the sides so that he could not move a muscle.

    The elephant-mayor glared at Jackal then turned to Greebol and chuckled. “General Stouger tells me you apprehended Jackal… our most wanted criminal,” he said proudly.

    “Erm… yes that is correct,” said Greebol anxiously wanting to get away from this strange little village.

    “For all you have done for us,” continued Mayor Rajar, “we have set out a fantastic meal in your honour!”

    Meal? Greebol smiled again, this time for real! He could use a good meal. They were led by a number of female Intelimals with various animal heads to the table, stools presented for the trio sit on.

    “What about my dragon?” Giblet whispered to Greebol.

    “Food Giblet,” answered the Gumthar. “
Real
food! I am famished. Besides I do not think our hosts would be too pleased if we decided to up and leave.”

    Plates and bowls were laid out before them, followed by the food, brought out by a large lady with the head of a hippo.

    “Eat as much as you wish,” said Mayor Rajar, “as this is all for you!”

    Greebol, Giblet and Wextoal stared at the food on the table in disbelief. In front of them was nearly every kind of vegetable, salad, fruit and other healthy looking green thing you could imagine.

    “No meat?” asked Wextoal deeply concerned.

    “Is this all there is?” gasped Giblet.

    “Where is the beef, the pork or the chicken?” Greebol questioned but soon stopped as he noticed the three Intelimals sitting opposite him with heads of a cow, a pig and a rooster. “I think I am beginning to understand,” he said slowly and terribly horrified.

    “We don’t eat meat,” said Mayor Rajar, stroking one of his large tusks. “It would be classed as cannibalism.”

    “Plus only
savages
feel the need to eat meat.”

    They all turned to see a strong looking female perched at the end of the table, her head, that of a fox.

    The mayor smiled. “Welcomed visitors, please meet Keesha, our wildlife conservationist.”

    “A pleasure I am sure,” said Greebol.

    “Pleasure’s all mine,” Keesha said. “I am happy to meet those who apprehended the monstrous Jackal.”

    “What exactly is he supposed to have done?” Greebol asked.

    “He is a hunter of animals,” she answered. “He tracks them, captures them and kills them. He is solely responsible for the extinction of at least twelve species in our jungle.” She eyed the Gumthar with slight suspicion. “Tell me…
friend
… what is it that you do?”

    Greebol smiled. “I am a bounty hun…” he stopped mid-sentance, realising the grand error he was making. “I am an… erm… animal… rights activist.”

    Keesha’s foxy eyes narrowed.

    “Then you will fit in here just fine!” beamed Mayor Rajar. “Please tuck into your meal.”

    “You really didn’t have to do this for us you know,” said Giblet.

    “It is our pleasure,” said Mayor Rajar.

    “No
really
… you didn’t have to.”

    The village’s three newcomers began to eat half-heartedly and with sour faces.

    “As an animal rights activist,” said Keesha, clearly cottoning on to Greebol’s lie, “you will be interested to know about several species we have saved from extermination.”

    A piece of chewed up lettuce fell from Greebol’s mouth. “Not really,” he muttered.

    “Come now,” she continued, “let me tell you all about them. We found them chained to the floor of a rotten old shed in the middle of the jungle. They had been there for days, starved and without water. The last of their kind. Ready to be butchered, their heads mounted on walls.” She cupped her mouth in her hands and shouted, “Guys! Come on into the centre will you?”

    From inside the largest of the wooden huts a line of animals emerged. Two five horned rhinoceros, two pink warthogs, two hopping sloths and a giant man-size slug. They all seemed quite content with life. They filled a happy line facing the table.

    On the rock platform, Jackal squirmed in his chains and growled. “They were mine!” he shouted, “they were my pray! I hunted them for days!”

    General Stouger pushed his rifle into the face of the tiger. “Silence Jackal,” he said forcefully. “You don’t want to get Keesha riled.” And he was right. Keesha could be a right bitch when she set her mind on something. In her mind, if Jackal didn’t think the animals were important and wanted to hang their heads on his wall, then she didn’t think his testicles were of importance and would be more than happy to hang them on
her
wall.

    “The last of their kind,” Keesha continued, looking over to the animals. “We are hoping they will mate.”

    “What about the slug?” asked Wextoal.

    “Unfortunately we could not save her mate’s life. She is all on her own.”

    Wextoal’s heart raced. He looked over to the slug, winked and blew her a kiss.

    Greebol and Giblet groaned.

    “Without these great creatures our world would be a sadder place,” said Keesha, ignoring the strange, hairy Waabba, “and we would be poorer for their loss.”

    “I’ll be poorer if I don’t find that dragon,” Giblet grumbled. He stood up suddenly. “Enough of this… I do not have the time. The Elves could be here at any moment. I
must
get the dragon!”

    “What’s a dragon?” asked Mayor Rajar.

    “
That
is a dragon,” replied Greebol as the dragon bound into the clearing through the trees, smashing through a number of huts with its thick, swaying tail!

    Keesha stood and gasped. This creature was incredible to her! It’s smooth, green scales, the bone structures on its face and neck, the strength in its hind legs, the large, strong wings…

    The dragon burped, a blast of fire streaming from its mouth towards the large table. At once everybody dove out of the way, just in time as the table went up in flames!

    Giblet gripped his axe. “You are mine!” he shouted. “Victory for the Dwarves!” He ran towards the beast, swinging the axe over his head, ready to bring it down on the dragon’s neck. All he could see was the tournament. The treasure within the dragon's belly prayed on his mind. He would yet again bring glory to the Dwarves!

    He leapt with all his might, ready to strike. The dragon however, hiccuping madly, blew a fireball from its mouth straight towards the Dwarf who only just managed to reach for his shield, mid-air, to protect himself from the flames. The fireball hit him hard. The shield stopped the assault of fire, but Giblet was thrown backwards at such a force that he crashed through the roof of a nearby hut.

    Greebol and Wextoal looked at each other. With the Dwarf currently out of the picture, it seemed they had a full shot at the treasure. However neither of them was ever willing to share it with the other. They dove into a sprint towards the beast, Greebol taking the lead. Wextoal reached into his dirty overcoat and pulled out his knife. He leapt towards Greebol, bringing the knife down into the Gumthar’s shoulder! Greebol let out a wail and crumbled to the floor, hitting it hard, his body bouncing on the stony ground.

    Wextoal continued, knife still in hand, Greebol’s dark blood dripping from the blade. He reached the dragon’s side and moved quickly to thrust it into one of the large scales. The dragon, still hiccuping from the strange things happening inside its stomach, flung out one of its wings, slapping Wextoal like a bitch! Like Giblet before him, Wextoal was flung through the air, smashing through the front of yet another hut!

    The dragon rose onto its hind legs. It was going to vomit. It was one of those strange sensations that every living thing recognised. It let out a deafening screech and fired a further jet of flames out through the village, burning many of the homes. The Intelimals scattered, fearing this new and deadly addition to their jungle.

    Greebol tried to stand but went weak at the knees. He collapsed back to the floor, gripping his injured shoulder. He reached into his tight shorts, pulling out the small flask containing the small blob-like alien from Anterilax. He popped open the lid and the small pink blob bounced out, onto Greebol’s injured shoulder and instantly spread to cover the entire damaged area, beginning to heal it. 

    Giblet and Wextoal were soon back on the proverbial ball (what type of ball it is that everyone spoke of is still quite unknown. Some say football, others cricket ball. Some say sweaty) and dashing through the burning village. Giblet was leading, axe swinging. The dragon had its back turned. Giblet would get him for sure this time!

    Wextoal looked down at his knife, grumbled and discarded it. He reached back into his jacket and brought out a large, golden, extremely tacky-looking laser gun. He aimed wildly and fired. A thick blue bolt shot from the end and hit Giblet's shield. The Dwarf fizzed for a moment before dropping like a fly hitting an insect zapper.

    The insane Waabba laughed wildly as he crouched under the dragon’s head, laser gun aimed. His finger pressed the trigger.

    At once a number of things happened. Wextoal
did
manage to fire the laser gun, but not before the dragon finally spewed! A mass of thick, syrupy vomit filled with peas, carrots, a Charlie Pinwright, An’ishia, Vrall and Professor Amirous fired out, splattering all over Wextoal and the floor in one large splash!

    As Wextoal was hit by the vomit, a number of feet and finally the wooden chest, his laser gun fired. A dazzling blue bolt sped out from the gun, but missed the dragon and instead sped across the village towards the endangered animals. It hit the first five horned rhinoceros in the chest but didn’t stop there. It passed through into the next animal and through that one to the next, until eventually it hit the giant slug.

    The slug looked down at the gaping hole in its side. “Bugger,” it said before suddenly exploding.

    Wextoal fell to the ground, dropping the laser gun as he went.

    The dragon collapsed, wheezing violently. 

    One loud gasp blew out across the village from the Intelimals. Keesha fell to her knees by the dead animals’ sides and cried large teardrops from her foxy eyes. Her pain soon turned to anger as she turned to the sickly mess on the floor.

    Fists clenched she stormed towards it, followed closely by General Stouger and his men. They stopped, blocked by the smell, and watched angrily as a figure stood and wiped barf from its face.

    Charlie Pinwright could not sink any lower. Every single orifice on his body was filled with bile. Wiping his eyes he saw the strangest group of people staring at him in anger. As usual he had no idea what was going on. He raised his hand upwards and found that he was holding onto something. Wiping it clean he looked down at what appeared to be a gun from an old arcade machine. How the devil had this got into his hand?

    He looked up as a number of rifles cocked and pointed towards him. Out of pure impulse, Charlie pulled the trigger on the gun, firing towards the crowd who ducked for cover.

    The blue bolt flew crazily through the air and hit slap-bang in the middle of the chains holding Jackal the hunter! The chain snapped and Jackal found himself free! He jumped up, laughing loudly and rushed off into the jungle before anyone could stop him!

    Keesha and General Stouger turned back to Charlie who continued to aim the gun towards them in a state of wild panic.

    Greebol slowly got to his feet and placed Bob back into the bottle. His shoulder healed as well as it could be, he finally noticed the devastation around him. He looked to Charlie standing with the gun.

    “
Charlie
,” he gasped, “
what did you do
?”

    “I have no idea,” he admitted, “but as usual it seems to be bad for me.” He began to lower the laser gun.

    “I would not do that if I were you my friend,” Greebol said as he saw the general and his men ready to open fire. “Tell them to drop their weapons.”