Into the Blackness (Blackness Series Book 4) (15 page)

Listening to Dane question her loyalty to him and the boys set off a storm in my chest. I didn’t utter a word during their interaction. I simply leaned against the counter and watched Kat put herself on the line emotionally, no Agent Russell in sight. I’m not stupid enough to believe we haven’t been creating emotional connections since we got here, but they’re becoming more intense and that’s problematic as the team leader. The first no-no in the DCA, no emotional ties while undercover. Then Jake came in a dropped his love bomb and anything the DCA has ever dictated flew out the window. Kat may have spoken the words that I didn’t have the balls to say, but at the core of my being I feel the same way. I love those boys; they’re a piece of me. When Kat bolted, it pained them and that pissed me off.

Now I’m in an emotional shit storm and I can’t see my way clear. So I do what any dumb ass man would. I shut down my emotions and become a robotic dick.

I stomp over to her vanity and rip her hair dryer out of its socket. She turns her blank gaze to mine in the mirror and waits.

“The op is twenty-four seven. If you can’t comply with that I’ll have you reassigned. We can use the altercation yesterday as an excuse for you to leave. If you decide to stay this shit won’t happen again. You cannot break character at any juncture. Perfection is expected at every turn. If anyone bugs the house you’ll blow us. I apologize for kissing you. That was inappropriate and unprofessional. It won’t happen again. I’ll let you finish gettin’ ready. I expect your decision when you’re done,” I say in my Agent Nick Cooper voice.

“Thank you for your apology, Agent Cooper. I would like to remain on the op and will comply with the directives you’ve just set out. I apologize for having a weak moment. It won’t happen again, sir. As for the kiss, it’s not an issue. We can forget it ever happened and move forward with the op professionally,” she responds in her Agent Katherine Russell voice.

This is worse than when she was blank. She’s now devoid of anything, running deeper into the blackness than I thought she could. I don’t know what to do to fix this, so I do nothing. I nod and leave the bathroom. I fucked up.

Kat’s alarm begins to beep and she has it silenced before the sound can even tickle my ears. She floats effortlessly into the bathroom without a glance in my direction. I pull my phone off the bedside table and wait for her to finish her shower before going to take mine. The only thing of interest on my phone is Angry Birds, so I play that like a five-year-old in a timeout until I hear Kat banging around in the bathroom.

I enter the space staring that the woman that’s completely shut me out. It’s been a week and she’s said maybe two words to me when we’re alone. I think one has been
yes
and the other was some version of
uh huh
, not exactly and in depth conversation.

The woman is perfection in a slinky deep purple long-sleeved dress that hangs mid-calf. It clings to her curves like it was painted on without seeming inappropriate for the day. She’s wearing her hair down today. I’ve learned how she’s going to style her hair based on which electric contraption she’s wielding. Today it’s a curling iron. The curling iron is my favorite.

I hop in the shower wishing it were encased in glass instead of stone so Kat could see the effect she has on me. That’s a perverted thought I’ve become used to since I tasted her luscious mouth. I’m aware I’m the dipshit that ended things with Kat. It doesn’t mean my dick’s on board with my brain.

After willing my hard on away, I take time soaking my tense muscles. I’ve been in our home gym twice a day since I shut Kat down. I need a release and beating the shit out of the heavy bag only does so much. I’ve been running, lifting and any other exhausting activity I can find in order to burn off steam. Jake’s joined me twice and I’ve gotten a good workout on the mats. That boy may be smaller than me, but he’s got skills. He even bested me once. The pride I felt when he did was matched in the confidence beaming back at me when he helped me off my back. Love that kid.

Another relief came when the Burkes left town like the bitches they are. Kicking the shit out of Hoyt Burke would have been a nice release but a death sentence for the op, so I take the win at face value. Junior is still here on the force, but he’s steered clear of all of us. I get the feeling he’s plotting some dimwitted plan against us, and it makes me about as nervous as a mouse fart would. He’s a pussy.

Once I’m good and clean I head into my dressing room. Today’s a big one so I opt for slacks and a button down. Not my usual Saturday wear. Back in the bathroom, I find it empty save for the lingering light, airy scent of Kat. She smells like citrus and a crisp breeze off the ocean. It’s become my crack. I can’t get enough of it and it may end up killing me.

Back in the bedroom the bed is made and my shit it picked up and put where it should be. She still takes care of me, or she hates that I’m a slob and curses me while she picks up my shit. I prefer the former.

As I descend the stairs, I can hear the jubilation that follows the boys wherever they roam. Kat’s bellowing laughter is what catches my ear though. Her fucking masks keep this sound from me. I pause on the stairs and cherish the sound before continuing on my path. When I enter the room I find Kat at the stove. The smells enveloping my nose tell me she’s whipping up some French toast.

“Morning,” I say in my I-haven’t-had-enough-coffee voice.

“Morning,” the boys respond in unison.

Jake nods his chin toward Kat, silently asking if things are better. I return with a slight shake of the head before pouring myself a mug of coffee. Jake hasn’t asked me what’s going on. Not even when we’re kicking the crap out of each other in the basement. He knows. He’s completely aware that something is off. He’s not a pusher though, much like Kat. He’ll wait until something needs to be said and then we’ll have to listen.

“What’s the plan for today?” I ask the boys while plopping down at the head of the kitchen table.

“Aunt Kay’s threatening haircuts,” Dane responds with huge honey-hued eyes begging me to make that request go away.

“I didn’t say a haircut, Dane. I said a trim,” Kat playfully interjects. I miss that.

“Uh, scissors plus hair equals haircut,” Dane argues.

“I just want your hair outta your eyes for the pictures,” Kat urges, sliding a plate of French toast, bacon and eggs in front of me.

I take my opportunity. This is a fucked up thing to do, but it’s the only way I get what I want from Kat.

I slide my arm around her waist and pull her into my lap. She willingly falls against me with a glowing smile on her face. I know it’s fake. I fucking hate that it’s fake. So I pretend it’s real. I had the shot at real, but I let Agent Nick Cooper fuck it up. I pretend right along with her.

“Compromise?” I ask with my brow raised.

She rolls her eyes dramatically before turning in my lap to face the boys. Her ass feels so good against my dick I miss the first half of the discussion.

“…can take you to practice driving later this week. How’s that, Nicky?” Kat finishes rotating in my lap again to look at me. Her hazel eyes shift from warm and soft to blank when they lock with mine. She shuts down so easily I’m impressed. I’m gutted that I did this, but it’s extraordinary to witness.

“Sounds like a good compromise,” I lie. I have no idea what I’m agreeing to.

“Badass! Can we drive the em six?” Cole questions excitedly.

The M6? Why are we discussing the boys driving my sports car? I shift my gaze to Kat and I see the pleased look on her face. She did this shit on purpose. Sliding around in my lap was a calculated move to distract me so I wouldn’t hear her offering up driving lessons in return for haircuts. I told you she’s good at her job.

Kat hops off my lap announcing, “It’ll have to be your car, Nicky. I’ve got a lot goin’ on this week.”

“Is that so?”

“Uh huh,” she dismisses me and starts cleaning the kitchen.

I glance over at Jake who has a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. Kat just gave him a master class in misdirection techniques and I was the mark. Great.

“How much hair are we talkin’, Aunt Kay?” Sawyer yells into the kitchen, lovingly petting his black locks.

“As much as I want!”

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath.

Kat pokes her head around the corner and innocently asks, “What was that?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Sawyer lies.

“Liar,” she says with a knowing look. “Careful, I’ll shave you bald in your sleep if you’re not nice.”

She could too. These boys sleep like the dead.

After we finish our breakfast with Kat unsurprisingly missing from the table, she appears at my side.

“I’m off to collect corsages. I’ll be back in an hour or so and then I’ll take you boys to get haircuts,” she says brightly.

“You said a trim,” Dane grumbles.

“Did I say that? I don’t remember.”

“Aunt Kay,” Cole whines.

“Oh stop. I’m just playing with you. Be good while I’m gone.”

With that she presses a soft kiss to my forehead and I again take the advantage, pulling her face lower before brushing my lips across hers.

“Bye, Sunshine,” I murmur against her lips.

Her fat lips turn up in a grin before she gifts me another kiss.

“Bye, Nicky,” she says in a breathy voice.

The sound tricks me and I look up into her eyes to find them as blank as they’ve been since the last time I caused them to be hot and ravenous. What I wouldn’t give to see that again.

I release her with two pats on her ass and she floats out of the house swinging those damn hips with every step.

“Aunt Kay’s more like a mom to me than my own mom has been, but she’s still fuckin’ hot as hell,” Dane announces before draining his orange juice, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Cole and Sawyer nod in agreement while Jake glares at his boys.

“What?” Dane questions ingenuously.

Jake rolls his eyes and shakes his head without comment. The boys love Kat. I don’t question it one bit, but Jake really does see Kat as his mom. He doesn’t want anyone talking about her like she’s a piece of meat. I don’t either, frankly. Dane’s not being crude when he says shit like that though. He’s just admiring the woman and I can’t fault him. He just needs some lessons in tact. I’m not the one to teach him those lessons. I think Jake’s the man for that job.

“When you wanna pay a woman a compliment, don’t say anything you wouldn’t confidently say to her face. And if you think women wanna hear shit like you just said, you’re wrong. Tell Aunt Kay she’s beautiful, gorgeous, hot as hell or whatever else you think, but say that shit from your heart. Not your dick. Do it again and I’ll beat your ass.”

“Yes, Sensei,” Dane retorts. “You’re the master of the ladies. I have much to learn.”

Sawyer and Cole burst into laughter and Dane follows suit. Jake holds out as long as he can and then he joins his boys. That’s all it takes to break the tension in the room and I release a few chuckles along with them. These boys are good for my soul. If it weren’t for them right now I’d be in a dark place. I’m in the dim jail cell Kat’s imprisoned me in, but these boys offer me the sunshine missing from my days. I’m thankful for teenagers. Stranger things have happened.

Nick

“No ties?” I ask as the boys come into the family room just before their dates are set to arrive. The four of them look almost identical in suits and button down shirts.

“No,” Dane scoffs as if that’s the stupidest question he’s ever heard.

“Nervous?” I question them while climbing to my feet, switching off the TV.

“No,” they all grumble, telling me they are.

“It’ll be a fun night, boys. Be the gentlemen I know you are and you’ll have the time of your lives,” Kat encourages as she strides into the room. Her make-up is darker for the evening and her hair looks freshly primped, flowing curls cascading around her face. Her dress looks even better with high heels that surely cost an arm and a leg. A large diamond pendant hangs just above her cleavage drawing my eyes to her perfect tits. It’s always a great view in Maybelle.

“You look gorgeous, Sunshine,” I compliment, moving to wrap her in my arms.