Into the Garden (19 page)

"It's got to be meditative, spiritual," Jade explained. "Why did we have to paint the windows?" I asked. "We want to leave the loud, noisy, troubled, rotten world out there when we all gather in here."
"How do you know about all this?" I asked her.
"My mother was into it for a while. She joined one of those meditative groups shortly after she and my father started their divorce wars and it seemed to help her, but then the organization asked for more donations and she found out her spiritual leader was buying up prime property in Westwood with the money, so she quit, but I liked the music and I read her pamphlets and got more out of them than she did, I think.
"In here, we won't be afraid to expose our deepest feelings to each other. That's what makes it sacred, so remember to always keep it locked so no one else sets foot in it. Okay?"
"Yes," I said. Maybe it would work, I thought. Maybe we would have a special place, a true escape.
We heard the phone ring and I picked up the receiver. The phone had been left on the floor. It was the doctor at the hospital wondering why I hadn't shown up for my X- ray. He wanted to speak with Geraldine.
"Oh, I'm sorry. She's out, but I'll be right there," I said.
"It's important we check how that's healing," he emphasized. "I thought your mother understood."
"She did; she's just been sick," I said, thinking of the first possible excuse. After I hung up, I told Jade and Misty about the forgotten appointment.
"Don't worry about it. Let's get over there."
"I'll drive," Misty said, and we went downstairs. Jade remembered to call Star to let her know where we would be should she arrive. She listened for a moment and then hung up.
"She doesn't sound too happy. She said it was all right because she wouldn't be here until dinner. Rodney was upset. Her mother took him along supposedly to shop and he ended up in a bar with her."
"Maybe she'll drink herself to death and solve the problem," Misty muttered
Jade and I gazed at each other, both thinking the same thing I'm sure. It was sad that Star's and her brother's happiness and even safety depended on their mother being gone and out of their lives.
We got into- the car and headed for the hospital. It took us nearly two hours to get my X-rays done and the doctor to look at them. He was obviously concerned that Geraldine wasn't there, too. I said she was running a fever.
"But I thought you told me she was out before," he reminded me.
"She had gone to the doctor who prescribed medicine and told her to rest,"
I
said.
He still looked annoyed and suspicious, but said I was healing fine.
"I want you back next week. Have your mother call me the day before," he ordered and wrote out his name and number. I thanked him and we left.
"What will I do next week?"
"He won't remember her voice. I'll call and pretend I'm Geraldine," Jade said. "We'll be fine. The important thing is your ankle's coming along well. Now, let's go to Camelot's and get you something for Misty's father's wedding. Shopping is the best way to get rid of worries," she added
"Something a Beverly would say," Misty quipped. She thought a moment and then smiled and said, "Funny, but when Star's not with us, I feel like I have to say what she would say."
"We're all becoming part of each other," Jade explained. "Let's hope it's only the good parts."
We all laughed. I was beginning to be afraid we wouldn't find any reason to, but we did have a great afternoon. Little did I or Misty know that Camelot's was an offbeat clothing store, selling what they described as "Mythic Clothes." The shop was scented with incense and there was music not unlike the CD's Jade had purchased for our special room.
The first dress Jade insisted I try on was a gown of stretch velvet. It had gold metallic trim and pointed sleeves. I thought it looked like a costume on me, but that was nothing compared to what I looked like in what was called the Goddess dress, made of crinkled silk with a gold metallic corded belt. After that I got into the Fairy dress, a silk chiffon with a handkerchief skirt and separate top that tied at the shoulders. It was pale lavender and both Jade and Misty decided it was the one I should buy. I kept laughing at my image in the mirror and thinking how wild Geraldine would be if she saw me in it.
"You really are a pretty girl, Cat," Jade said after she came up beside me, put her arm around my shoulders, and her head against mine. We both looked at me in the mirror. "Soon you'll be breaking more hearts than me," she whispered.
Could I? Could I really? I wondered as I stared into the mirror.
"Let's get the Goddess dress for Star," Jade decided. "In fact, let's all buy something here. I'll do the velvet gown. Misty?"
"Okay. They'll all be perfect for Daddy's new wedding."
She considered, and chose a crinkled silk tunic with a V-neck and a crinkled silk skirt in teal Imagine the sight of the four of us when we entered that church, I thought, but I was sure making a scene and stealing the moment was exactly what Misty hoped we would do.
We ended up spending a little more than a thousand dollars.
Geraldine is surely spinning in her grave, I thought, and half expected to find the earth churned up when we returned to the house. On the way home, we stopped at Misty's so she could pick up her clarinet. She wanted to play for us after dinner. We were determined to have a good time and put away all the dark events.
To my surprise, Star loved the dress when we showed it to her after she arrived. We all put on our new clothes and paraded around the house.
"Perfect clothes for our first session in our special place," Jade declared, and led us up the stairs where we were to light the candles, turn on the music, sit on the rug, hold hands, and touch each other's spirits.
"If Doctor Marlowe could see us now," Star quipped, and we all laughed. Our laughter was truly like music, music to drown out any storm.
Jade gave us our first lesson in meditation and whether it was my imagination or not, I did feel the tension leave my body. Afterward, we all helped make a great pasta dinner with a spinach and goat cheese salad to start. Jade had brought wine from her mother's house. We sat around the table, talking and enjoying each other.
Jade insisted that our mythic clothing had turned us all into goddesses and we each described the magical power we would most like to possess. Misty wanted to be invisible and spy on whomever she wished. Star wanted to fly. Jade wanted to turn men into love-hungry slaves. I said I wished I could live in a castle with walls that kept out all sickness and unhappiness.
"That's what this house will be," Jade declared.
When the meal ended, Misty put on a CD and we cleaned up to music After that was done, we went into the living room to relax and Misty performed for us on her clarinet.
The melodies from Misty's clarinet were as meditative as Jade's New Age CD's. Jade, Star, and I all closed our eyes and let ourselves drift. I know I felt as if I was floating on a cloud.
When Misty stopped playing, she sat in a lotus position in front of us. No one spoke for a few moments.
"I'm glad you're all going to be with me on Saturday," she said. "No matter what, I can't think of my father as being married to someone else, standing up there and promising someone else he'll love her forever and ever. It makes me feel.., like I don't exist anymore, like he's just erased his past and everything and everyone in it, even me."
Star reached for Misty's hand, and then Jade's, and I held Jade's and Misty's hands. We sat there, linked. Nothing else needed to be said.
After a moment we all stood up.
"Tomorrow," Jade decided, "we'll get back to fixing this place up so it's more like a party house. Maybe we need more dramatic lighting, even some new pieces of furniture, more pictures, lots of stuff!"
"Back to the stores," Misty declared, holding her hand up high as if she held a sword.
"Beverlies," Star muttered, "think shopping solves everything."
Misty, Jade, and I looked at each other and then roared. "What?" Star said.
"You said it before," I told her.
"Huh? When?"
"Through Misty," Jade said, and we laughed again, only harder.
"You're all crazy," Star said. She thought a moment and then added, "Thank God for that."
The rest of the week went quickly. Jade stayed that night and Misty returned for the following evening. The next day the Salvation Army came and took Geraldine's furniture and clothes. It went a long way toward helping me feel she was truly gone for good.
We had meditation sessions every night and had fun cooking and talking. Star felt pressured to remain at home for Rodney every evening She told us her mother had gotten a job as a waitress in a bar on the beach and was already keeping very late hours. Because she woke Rodney up when she came home, stumbling over furniture, Granny convinced her to sleep in the living room and let Rodney go back to his cot.
Finally, it was Saturday, Misty's father's wedding day. Jade had her limousine pick us up. Misty said her mother was furious about it because we were making it into such a big event by buying new clothes. She had no idea what the rest of us were wearing. If she had seen us all together, she might have reversed her opinion. The moment the four of us entered the church, the entire wedding party spun their heads around. Jade was carrying a magic wand that worked on batteries and lit up a light at the end. She had bought a sequin laden headband for Misty to wear and gave Star very ostentatious costume jewelry. She gave me a large, ruby colored glass necklace on a thick silver chain.
Misty's father looked confused as we marched down the aisle to take our seats up front. I was sure Misty hadn't told him she was bringing us. Our dramatic entrance was followed with a wave of murmurs from the guests. Her father's friends and Ariel's family and friends didn't know whether to laugh or cry out in protest. We could see it in their faces, but we didn't stare or smile at anyone.
Jade had given us our marching orders before we had arrived.
"Don't look at anyone. Keep your face forward, your eyes fixed on the bride and groom, and look very serious. We're there to cast a spell for Misty."
"What spell?" Star asked. "What crazy thing are you talking about now?"
"A spell to protect her from any further unhappiness," Jade replied.
"I love it," Misty cried. The fantasizing kept her from letting sadness and pain into her heart.
"And just how are we supposed to cast a spell?" Star asked.
"As soon as the minister begins, I'll lift my magic wand and move it first to the right and then to the left. When I do that, everyone move with it shoulder to shoulder, understand?"
"Where do you get all of this stuff?" Star asked. "A dream vision I had last night," Jade said.
"I love it," Misty repeated.
My heart was pounding because I couldn't believe Jade would go through with it, but she did, even lighting up the bulb, and we all did what she had asked. Then she lowered the wand. The minister had paused to watch us, and Misty's father and Ariel turned to us, too. Misty's father's smile disappeared, but he turned back to the minister and the wedding ceremony was performed.
Almost as soon as he could, her father approached us.
"What is this, Misty? Who are these girls? Why did you all come dressed like this? And what were you all doing? Ariel is upset. Did your mother put you up to this?"
"No, Daddy. These are my friends and we wanted to bless your new marriage so it doesn't fall apart like your first marriage and make everyone unhappy," Misty recited as if she was reading from a children's storybook.
He turned so red, I thought we'd see steam come out of his ears. Then he nodded.
"I thought you would act a lot more maturely about this, Misty. I'm disappointed."
"Me too, Daddy," she said. "It doesn't look like our magic is working."
"Okay. All right. I see what you're up to. We'll talk about it later," he told her, giving us a plastic, cold smile, before leaving us to greet his other guests.
"I don't think your father appreciates us, Misty," Jade declared. "Let's skip the wedding reception and go dancing at the Kit Kat Rave Club on Melrose instead."
"Good idea," Misty said. She looked after her father for a moment, her eyes filling with tears, and then she marched ahead of us up the aisle. We followed, Jade dipping her wand at people like some bishop imparting blessings. When she lit the bulb, they either flinched or gasped. I hurried along behind them as quickly as I could, eager to get out of the church.
In the limousine, Jade revealed that she had snuck a bottle of vodka and some orange juice out of her house.
"A little of this will put us all in the right frame of mind," she announced.
"It don't always work that way," Star said. We knew she was referring to her mother.
"It will for us because we're not going overboard, Star. We need to have a good time," she added pointedly, nodding slightly at Misty who was looking small and very sad as she watched the wedding party departing.
Star's eyes darkened with understanding and Jade fixed the drinks. She turned the music up too, so by the time we reached the dance club, we were all feeling happy. I had never been to anything like the club before, but it seemed to me that we weren't dressed too differently from most of the other girls who were there. Everyone looked like they were wearing costumes.
As soon as we arrived, they immersed themselves in the lights and the music. I understood why Jade called it a rave club. Everyone seemed worked up into a frenzy. I could feel it even sitting at the table and watching. Jade made me get up with my crutches and do what I could with one good leg. Everyone around us thought it was amusing. It was as if we had jumped into the ocean and we were being carried out to sea in a wave of hysterical pleasure. Soon we were all screaming and laughing.
Sometimes, I was dancing with a strange boy, sometimes with one of the girls. It was the same for all of us, but we never really got to meet anyone. The music was too loud to hear anyone speak. We danced for an hour without stopping until Jade decided she was thirsty. We returned to our table and ordered soft drinks.
"How do you like your father's wedding reception?" Jade shouted to Misty. It was the only way to be heard, even away from the dance floor.
"I love it. Can't wait until they cut the cake!"
Jade laughed. Star and I joined in, but I didn't feel like we were really laughing. It was more like we were crying. We sipped our drinks, the music rushed over us, the lights spun colors over the crowd of revelers, but that old stub- born and determined demon of depression found its way to our table, casting his shadow. I could see it in everyone's faces and feel it on my own.