Into the Storm (32 page)

I pulled on my hair in frustration. “I want her safe, Cecilia. I
need
her safe. I fucked this up so badly,” my voice caught on the last word.

“
What are you going to do, Joshua?”

I looked at her. “I was stupid, Cecilia.
Fucking stupid
. I invented an entire story to cover up Rabbit being here with me. He could have done the same thing. In fact, I’m sure he did. I was so overcome with the fact she was married, that I was taking her away from
her life.
I was so sure that I wasn’t what she needed; I stopped asking the right questions. Now, I’m going to make sure I know the story. All of it.”

“
What if you’re wrong, Joshua?”

“
If I’m wrong, I’ll back off and leave her alone. Unless she needs me.”

“
And, if you’re right?”

“
Then I’m bringing her home.”

Days later, I paced around the house, Bear at my heels constantly. I couldn’t relax or concentrate no matter what. He could sense my unsettled feelings and was reacting to them, staying close. I had barely slept the past few nights and my nerves and patience were stretched tightly. I was waiting for Frank to call with news of his meeting with Ms. Allen about her car that was in my barn, now that she was finally back. He kept telling me to be patient; Rabbit was being watched, he was investigating. I knew I had to give him time. I knew he probably wouldn’t be calling anytime soon since it was still early, but I was anxious and restless. I had gone through the files again and again, made copious notes and watched the press conferences over and over again. Cecilia had been back and forth bringing me new information to go through and I had also read everything I could find on the James family in general. I didn’t like what I found. Under the structured veneer of a wealthy, successful family, I saw a distinctive pattern of aloofness and control. The thought of my Rabbit in an environment like that made me shudder. The only comfort I could find was in knowing she was being watched and was seemingly okay. Physically, anyway. But that wasn’t enough. Until I knew she was safe, that she was fine, that she was
here
, I couldn’t relax.

Finally, with growing frustration, I grabbed my coat. “C’mon boy,” I summoned Bear. We’d take a walk outside and maybe clear my head. I stepped outside into the bright morning sun. I could hear the drips of the water as it splashed on the snow from the melting icicles. The past few days had turned warm and the snow was disappearing at an alarming rate. Soon the piles of snow would be gone if the temperatures stayed where they were hovering today. I shook my head at the drastic change in the weather in such a short span of time. I stepped off the porch and started walking. It felt good to stretch my sore leg, and the fresh air was welcome. Bear ran in front of me, diving into the snow, rolling and chuffing, happy to be outside. I frowned to myself; I had been neglecting him for a while. We hadn’t gone for a walk since Rabbit left. I stopped suddenly as the pain hit me, remembering the look I had seen on her face as she struggled to break away from Cecilia to get to me in the barn. It had been ten days ago. Ten of the longest days of my life.

My head was filled with chaotic thoughts
.

Was she okay?

Was she scared?

Was I wrong in my assumptions and she was happy to be home?

Was I reading things from the pictures and articles that really didn’t exist?

Did she miss me as much as I missed her?

Had she figured out the card yet?

Bear’s sudden push on my leg brought me out of my thoughts. I patted his head and looked down at him. “You miss her too, don’t you?” I asked as I stroked his head. His answering huff as he shook his large head said it all. “I’ll figure out a way to get her back. I promise.” His trusting eyes looked up at me and then he turned away, walking down the drive. I followed him slowly, letting him lead the way as usual, although I was surprised when he headed down the driveway and not toward the barn as he usually went, but I let him go.

He continued to trot ahead of me, chasing the occasion snowflake, bounding back to me barking, or running around me in circles, wanting to play. I would scoop up some of the melting snow into a ball and throw it, chuckling when he would chase after it and, of course, not find anything and come charging back wanting another one tossed. The memory of Rabbit’s snowball deluge flowed through my head and I smiled, thinking of her that day. How she turned my bad mood into one of laughter with her teasing and playing. How her eyes had looked at me so tenderly while we made love in the snow and how she felt wrapped around me. Again, the pain of loss that accompanied the memory made me pause, and I realized Bear had rounded the corner in front of me. I could hear him in the snow, barking and digging. I hurried forward hoping he hadn’t come across some small woodland creature and was scaring it to death while trying to play with it.

Rounding the bend, I saw him digging and pulling on something in the snow. “Bear, stop!” I commanded. He ceased his digging but continued his barking at whatever was in front of him.

Fuck. Probably a real rabbit or a fox.

I didn’t want them hurt and in case it was something else, I didn’t want Bear attacked either. I yelled for him to heel and he lowered his head, picked something up and reluctantly he came back to my side. I could hear the whines in the back of his throat as he obediently approached me and saw something dark and lifeless hanging from his mouth. I cursed silently. He
had
gotten something. He sat down on his haunches in front of me. “Drop it,” I said firmly, dreading what I was about to look at.

He leaned his head down and deposited whatever he was carrying on the snow and sat back up. I crouched down and realized it wasn’t an animal, but an odd ball of material. I picked it up and examined the item. Unwinding it, I realized it was a scarf. A woman’s scarf. I looked up to where Bear had been digging. It was by the tree where Rabbit’s car had hit that night. I could see something dark still sticking out of the snow. My heart started pounding rapidly. Pointing, I looked down at Bear. “Fetch.”

He took off and started digging madly again at the snow. I followed him and knelt down, reaching in to where he was digging. The small black piece of leather I could see became larger and, eventually, we worked it out of the snow.

I sat back in shock at what he’d uncovered. Even without opening it, I knew what it was. I had tripped over something trying to get into the car that night, but it had completely slipped my mind with my concern for Rabbit at the time. But this is what I had tripped over.

Rabbit’s missing purse.

I made it up to the house as quickly as possible. The purse was heavy and laden with snow. I grabbed a towel and knelt in front of the fire. I spread out the towel and tipped the contents of the purse on it, spreading out the items. I opened the wallet and pulled out the driver’s license. Elizabeth James. The same name was on the one credit card in the wallet. There was a library card, a gym membership card, a business card bearing her husband’s name, and twenty-five dollars in cash. That was it. I looked at the other items laid out before me. There was a small, sodden package of Kleenex, a compact, a tube of lipstick, a pen and small blank notepad. There was also a small, digital camera which I doubted would work again. And lastly, a sealed Ziploc bag. I opened the bag carefully and pulled out a manila envelope. It was cold, but thanks to the plastic bag, it felt dry. I hesitated a minute, then opened the envelope. Inside was a small journal-type book and when I opened it up, I immediately choked in horror.

Even though her face wasn’t in any of them, I knew the person in these dreadful photographs.

They were pictures of Rabbit.

Every page had one taped onto it.

The first one; her hand in a cast.

Then pages of pictures of bruises on her arms, legs, and torso.

Each one noted with a small explanation of why she had received the injury; what the medical treatment had been and the name of the uncaring, careless doctor who patched her up and sent her away, only to be abused again.

And lastly, the name of who had so callously inflicted every single one of her injuries.

I shuddered. My eyes shut in painful realization. I didn’t know how long it had been going on, but I now knew without question
who
had caused her injuries.

There were no kidnappers.

He
had
lied. The whole story had been a lie.

Brian James
was
her attacker.

Chapter Thirty

Joshua

I fumbled around and found my phone. I hit speed dial and Cecilia answered quickly. I didn’t bother with a greeting. “Get Trevor. Get here. Fast.” I didn’t even wait for her to respond. I stumbled down the hall into the bathroom and threw up as the images of what the journal showed played through my mind again and again.

The unconfirmed theories and worries were all real. I had proof of my greatest fear.

I sent her back.

I sent Rabbit back to the person who had been abusing her. Repeatedly.

Instead of listening to my gut and keeping her here for a while longer, I reacted to what I
should
do and based it on how I would react if it was me. How I would feel if she had been taken. I did what I
thought,
what I’d been
told,
was the right thing to do. I was so fucking stupid.

I had believed the lies he spoke.

I thought he wanted what was best for her. That was what
I
wanted.

But he wasn’t me; he hurt her.

She hadn’t been taken; she had run.

And what I’d thought was right, had been the worst possible thing I could do.

My stomach heaved again and I laid my head on the cool porcelain.

She was so far away.

Trapped somewhere alone.

Somewhere I couldn’t get to.