Intuition: The Premonition Series (31 page)

“You’re really fast,” she whispers, still shakin’ so I know she is not over the shock of what just happened.

“I was losin’ you on foot so I had to try somethin’ else,” I explain. “I’m not sure what just happened to me—it’s like somethin’ else took over—I was really pissed when y’all hit me with that marble. It was like a part of me was respondin’ to a challenge or somethin’,” I say hurriedly, tryin’ to explain to her that what just happened felt like an instinct, not a conscious choice on my part. “I felt extremely aggressive and I wanted to…” I trail off, tryin’ to understand what I wanted to do.

“What? What did you want to do to me?” she asks in a quiet tone.

“A lot of stuff,” I reply, ‘cuz I really don’t know where to begin and I’m not sure I can handle bein’ this honest with her right now.

“Please?” she asks.

I cringe. “Ahh shoot, Red—I don’t know. Y’all said that angels have a caste system of sorts, right?” I ask, tryin’ to think ’bout this logically.

“Yes,” she replies.

“And we’re supposed to be at the top of that pyramid, right?” I ask for confirmation.

“Right,” she replies, pullin’ away from my chest to step back and look at me.

“Well, it kinda felt like ya were challengin’ me—establishin’ dominance or somethin’ like that. Showin’ me who’s boss, so to speak,” I say, watchin’ her expression to see if she is understandin’ what I’m tellin’ her. “Well, that was my way of showin’ ya that yer not the boss of me.”

“Oh,” she says, lookin’ at me with her sad eyes. “What else?” she asks, after she processes what I’ve said. I run my hand through my hair a couple of times, then I glance down at my hikin’ boots that I had picked up at the flea market the other day, along with several t-shirts ‘cuz I’m tearin’ through ‘em faster than I can buy ‘em these days.

“Well, the rest was just male stuff,” I mutter, kickin’ the dirt ‘round, not lookin’ at her.

“Male stuff?” she asks.

I rub my brow in frustration. “Yeah, Red. Male stuff,” I repeat, lookin’ up and surveyin’ the terrain, tryin’ to think of where we are in relation to where we were.

“I don’t understand. What male stuff?” she asks in confusion. She really doesn’t know and I want to groan out my frustration at her. How can she not get it?

“I was thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to do to ya when I caught ya, and not all of them were painful.” I say, tryin’ to explain the fact that I want to rip the skin-tight, barely-there denim shorts from her body, press her back into the closest tree, and make love to her for as long as I can last, which wouldn’t be long ‘cuz it has been way, way too long since I held her in my arms like that…another lifetime.

“Oh,” she replies as she gets what I’m sayin’. I see her blush and duck her head like a guilty criminal. I sigh loudly at her reaction to what I just said. The last thing I want is to make her feel guilty on top of freakin’ her out by chasin’ her through the woods. “Never mind, Red, it’s my problem, not yers.”

“No. I get what you’re saying. You need some companionship. You need some other friends—you need a life. So do I,” she says, starin’ at me. “Survival can’t be our only goal because it’s going to kill us.” She adds huggin’ her arms to her body for comfort ‘cuz it is plenty warm now, even in the woods.

I’m ’bout to tell her that I don’t want anyone to comfort me but her, but I can see that sayin’ it won’t help the tension between us at the moment. “What do you suggest?” I ask as she paces back and forth before me.

“What if we got some part-time jobs? Nothing exciting, just something where we could get out and talk to other people,” she says hopefully. “We can do recon on the places we apply to and have exit strategies for bad situations. What do you think?” she asks, bouncin’ her idea off me.

“Y’all think that’s a good idea?” I counter as she pauses and stands before me, seein’ my doubtful expression.

“Yes,” she says without hesitation. “We can’t go on like we have been. I’m slinging marbles at you and you’re chasing me through the woods like you want to kill me. Can we seriously afford to go on like this?” she asks in honesty.

“I suppose not,” I say with reluctance, but fear runs through me just thinkin’ ’bout her bein’ out there alone without my help.
What if she runs into a fallen angel and I’m not there? I
think, and then I shudder.

With an expression of remorse she says, “I’m sorry again—you know, about the marble.”

“At least it was a good shot. Y’all got me right in the leg,” I point out, touchin’ the spot where she hit me with my hand and feelin’ that there is definitely gonna be a huge mark there for a while until I heal. I come up next to her, takin’ her hand and pullin’ her back down the hill in the direction we had come from.

“It wasn’t that good a shot. I wasn’t aiming for your leg,” she says sweetly, and I remember I had been bendin’ over when she had hit me.

“Yer just cruel. Are ya sure ya got any human left in ya at all? Yer as mean as Zephyr with his javelin,” I say, teasin’ her.

“I don’t know how much human is left in me, Russell. That’s why I need this so badly. I need to remember what it is to be human, before it slips away from me and is gone forever,” she murmurs, and I’m beginnin’ to understand what she means. The more I evolve, the harder it’s becomin’ to relate with the world ‘round me. It’s like I’m not human at all, like I don’t fit in anymore. I don’t. I have bright red wings to prove it, but I’m as desperate as Red is to hold on to a piece of my humanity, if I can. The angel part of me is so dominant, like it wants to blot out the human part entirely.

“Why did ya listen to me?” I ask as we walk through the trees. I see her confusion so I add, “Why didn’t ya fight me instead of runnin’? I know yer still stronger than me at the moment.”

“I will never fight you,” she replies in a stern tone, like I have said somethin’ completely ridiculous.

“Why not? You thought I was gonna hurt ya, why not fight back?” I retort, rememberin’ how she cringed like I was gonna hit her and the shame of what I just did is back full force.

“You’re my best friend,” she says, like that is an explanation.

“Yes, but ya thought I was gonna hurt ya so I’d say, at that point, all bets should be off,” I state clearly.

“No. I won’t fight you for real. Ever. We can practice together, but I can’t look at you like you’re my enemy. It’s impossible for me,” she says firmly.

“So y’all would let me hurt you, rather than defend yerself?” I ask, like she has lost her mind.

“Yes,” she says.

“Why?” I ask again, ‘cuz I have to understand her reasons before I tell her how stupid I think she is for havin’ them.

“Because you’re my soul mate and I love you,” she says like I’m dense.

“That’s not a good reason to let me hurt you,” I reply disapprovingly.

“Reason and love are hardly ever compatible,” she explains as we continue to walk. “But maybe it’s because I still remember what it felt like when you were dying. I know what it’s like to almost lose you and if I ever hurt you again…” She doesn’t complete the thought; she just lets it hang there in the air between us.

“Ya didn’t hurt me. Ya healed me with the help of Heaven, so stop thinkin’ that way,” I sigh in exasperation, runnin’ my hand through my hair again. “And if I ever come after ya like that again, I insist ya beat the tar out of me,” I add seriously. “I can’t figure out what came over me, but it freaks me out.”

She shrugs and says, “You’re an angel now. Instinct is a huge part of it. I know some of what you felt. I have been going through it, too. I’ve had that feeling of aggression flair up in me. It scares me,” she says honestly. She pauses before she says bashfully, “And, Russell, just so you know, I couldn’t be your companion in that way right now anyway.”

I stop walkin’ and make her look at me when I ask, “Whaddaya mean?”

She turns red again and looks down at the ground. “I’m just saying that I would hurt you if we tried to be intimate. I would break you.”

Somethin’ in me leaps for joy, not ‘cuz of what she said, but ‘cuz she has been thinkin’ about us in that light, like it is a possibility in the future. “I have a feelin’ I wouldn’t mind at all bein’ broken in that way,” I reply, and see her blush more.
God she’s so beautiful,
I think, takin’ her hand again and leadin’ her through the trees.

“Do you want to try to run? See how fast you can go?” Red asks me suddenly, and then she stops and turns to me, her eyes wide open as if she is stunned. “Russell, did you fly?”

“Naw. I just scaled the trees and glided between them. I couldn’t get my wings to move, but they spread out enough to act like a glider so I could reach the next stand of trees when I jumped,” I reply.

“Like a squirrel?” she asks.

“I guess so,” I say, smilin’, ‘cuz that is a good analogy.

“Can you teach me?” she asks, and it feels kinda good for her to ask me for help. She is always the one explainin’ things to me.

“Yes,” I reply, and she smiles for the first time in a long while. “Now that we know I can move like an angel, will ya teach me Bruce Lee? ‘Cuz it’s so gnarly the way ya twist and flip while lookin’ like yer ’bout to beat the snot out of somethin’.”

“Sure. I’ll race you back.” She doesn’t wait for me to react, but shoots off like she is the wind. I follow her and manage to catch up to her as we eat up the terrain.

Red goes to work right away lookin’ for a job to get her outta the apartment. I’m still kinda nervous ’bout her bein’ out of my sight for any length of time, but she is right, we can’t continue to lock ourselves away in the apartment forever. We do have to live.

Instead of lookin’ for a job right away, I head over to the local high school and check out the intramural basketball leagues. I know that it’s hardly fair for the humans to play against me, but I’ve got to live too, right? That’s how I fall into my part time gig. I end up on the head basketball coaches’ team in the league. He offers me a job as assistant coach of the summer boys basketball team. The pay is crappy, the hours are crappy, but it gets me out of the apartment a few days a week and I get to work with kids. That’s kinda cool, since it reminds me that I’m still part human. Red and I talk about my job and decide it’s a minimal risk ‘cuz the Fallen don’t seem very interested in kids for whatever reason. Maybe it’s ‘cuz, for the most part, their souls are pure.

I’m uncomfortable with the job Red finds. The job itself is all right. She is a library assistant at the college, or what she terms, a “shelver.” Mostly, she restocks the books and assists people in locatin’ specific publications. What I hate is the fact that she pulled the late shift. The college library stays open until midnight durin’ the weekdays and she stays later to finish puttin’ the books back after the patrons leave. I try to find reasons to pick her up after she gets off work, but she’s on to me and keeps insistin’ that she can walk home, since the library is close to our place. I know she’s safe from anythin’ a human can throw at her, but still, there is a part of me that sees her as just a little girl who should be protected from the world. She seems a little bit better emotionally, than the day I chased her through the woods. Not good by any stretch of the imagination, but better than the blackness she seemed to be entrenched in since we got here.

Red hooks us up with new cell phones so I can call her now, but she makes me promise not to check any messages on my old number. She’s afraid that Reed has them tapped somehow and will get our new numbers from the phone log of the cellular phone provider. I ask her how that is possible and she says, “If the police can do it, Reed can too.” I am temped to check anyway, just ‘cuz I miss my family so much and I want to hear the sound of their voices, just for a second. I think Red has been feelin’ the same way ‘cuz I catch her holdin’ her phone to her lips while starin’ out the window. She looks like she is strugglin’ just to take the next breath.

“What are ya thinkin’ ’bout?” I ask her, after watchin’ her stare out the window for a while like a statue.

“The speed of sound,” she replies without lookin’ at me. “I was just trying to figure out how many seconds it would take if I dialed a number on my phone to hear the voice on the other end of it,” she murmurs in a rare moment of openness. I think I’m catchin’ her off guard or somethin’.

I frown. “It would probably only take a few seconds I’d guess, dependin’ on where you were callin’,” I reply, not really understandin’ what she is sayin’.