Invidious Betrayal (35 page)

T
EARS BURNED BEHIND HER EYES
, but Aria kept them at bay. She didn’t want to cry anymore. So she sat on the exam table and did her best to put a smile on her face and to not think about Ian ‘Ass-hat’ Howl.

If only I didn’t love him
.
Oh God, but I do
.

If she was being honest, she’d been infatuated with him from the very beginning. If only she didn’t need him to protect her. If only she didn’t love the way his body felt entangled with hers.

Aria sighed.
Yup, I’m hopeless
.

“Are there any more questions I can answer for you?” Dr. Cartwright asked.

“Uh…no,” she answered, distracted by her thoughts.

Dr. Cartwright handed her a business card, a few pamphlets, and a book on expecting a baby. “Give this one to Heather”—Dr. Cartwright handed her two slips of paper—“and she’ll schedule your next appointment. And remember, some babies measure a little big so no worries. The other is a prescription you can fill at Pollard’s Drug store next to the diner on Main Street. Symptoms at six weeks are mild for most. Just remember to take your vitamins.”

“Thank you, Dr. Cartwright.” Aria walked down the hall in a haze. There was so much information that was vital to having a baby.
What did people do before all this modern stuff
? She looked at all the papers in her hands. She had a lot to read over. The problem was, she’d be reading it alone. She was infused with a clear sense of what she had to do. She knew she could do this; and from the very moment she’d found out she was pregnant; she knew it would be without Ian.

So why did it matter that he kept confirming that he wanted nothing to do with the baby? He’d let her know that he wasn’t all right with the pregnancy from the start.

When Aria turned the corner and saw Ian sitting in the lobby, she couldn’t help wanting him to be a willing participant.

Ian sat up when he saw her, but Aria turned to the receptionist and gave her the papers, happy she could avoid him for a while longer. When the receptionist asked her to choose a return date, Aria looked around only to find Ian standing behind her. She hadn’t even heard him move.

Stupid ninja tricks
.

“Pick any day you’re comfortable with,” he told her, confirming that they would be here in ‘Mayberry’ for a while. That made her both happy and sad. She liked it here but missed her parents, her mother especially.

Aria picked a date and time out of what was offered for her next visit while Ian paid for this one, not even hinting to having insurance. He hovered over her as the receptionist gave her a few websites that would be helpful. Aria ignored him as he escorted her out of the building to the car. It was hard to not look at him because he was so damned gorgeous, but she managed until he blocked her from getting in the car.

“Do you want me to walk back?” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Ian took hold of her shoulders. “I want you to be reasonable. I just—”

She let her arms fall and then placed them on his chest. “Look, Ian, you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be involved. I get it, really I do, and it’s okay. I mean, I didn’t think we were going to get married and raise the baby together or anything. All I want is for you not to mention what you would like me to do to my child again. Feel the way you want, but please keep it to yourself.”

“Aria, listen,” Ian started, “I just want—”

She shook her head and he closed his mouth. “Please, Ian. I don’t want to keep talking about this. It’s over. Now I have to find a way to get these vitamins.”

Ian stared down at her. The heat coming from him was tangible, but his face was so calm she would have never guessed his mood except she’d been around him long enough to know. His gray eyes darkened when he was upset and they were bordering on black in the shadow of the building. She doubted he would ever show his mood, though.

She was surprised when he silently opened the passenger door, then moved out of her way. The truth was she was expecting more of an argument.

Aria slid into the seat, then placed her papers and book in the back. When Ian sat down in the driver’s seat, he placed an envelope in her lap, then started the car. He was pulling out of the parking lot when she looked inside the envelope.

Aria almost dropped it when she realized what was inside. She glanced at him, then back down at the envelope again, this time she brushed her finger across the small stack of hundred dollar bills. There were at least twenty-five hundred dollar bills in it. Aria looked over at him again as he pulled into a parking space in front of the drug store.

“I can’t accept this.”

Ian turned the engine off, but didn’t look at her. “Why not,” he breathed, “just think of it as my first child support payment.”

That succeeded in breaking her resolve. The first tear fell as she blinked at him. Soon she was all-out crying.

Ian gripped the steering wheel and lowered his head. “I don’t understand you. I’m trying to help here. Everything that I’ve done in the past few weeks has been an attempt to help. I just wanted to make things right between us.” He turned to her. “I want you safe from all threats, and I want this”—he motioned to her, then to him—“but how can I keep you safe if you won’t listen to reason. I Don’t Know How To Stop Hurting You.”

Aria allowed her tears to flow. Her throat was suddenly dry and her head ached. This, everything, was so screwed up. Her heart was pulling her one way and her mind was tugging her in the opposite direction. She loved Ian, wanted him so badly, but she also wanted her baby. Ian was convinced that the baby was his and Aria thought so too. But she didn’t want to choose between the two.

He didn’t necessarily tell her she had to choose, but he’d made it clear what he thought she should do. Being with her would mean being a father, and there was no way she could be with a man that didn’t love their child.

Her mother had pushed her to volunteer at a shelter in the city last winter, and she’d seen and heard some of the horror stories of how people abused the very children they should love. Aria didn’t think Ian would physically abuse anyone, but as a man who endured a family that didn’t celebrate his birth or clearly show him any affection, he may not be able to love anyone, even his own child.

She opened the car door and got out. Looking over her shoulder she said, “I don’t know either.” She heard Ian cursed as she shut the car door and walked away.

Every morning for over a month Aria watched in silence as Ian woke, neatly folded the sheets he’d covered the sitting room sofa with, and then stretched. It was the start of his morning ritual. And it was hard watching him raise his corded arms above his head as far as they could reach while his muscles strained beneath his sun kissed skin. His rippled stomach sunk inward and his shorts hung well below his hips, exposing the thin line of dark hair that led to his hidden patch. Aria wasn’t sure what the area where a man hips and thighs joined was called, but that was her new favorite part of the male body.

Under thin sheets and with hooded eyes she watched him walk to the bathroom, loving the way he moved. She’d been captivated with the Animal Planet channel lately, particularly the big cats, and she couldn’t help comparing the way they moved to the way Ian moved. Beautiful, sleek, and deadly was what came to mind.

She sighed when he shut the bathroom door. They had decided to just be friends. Well, she’d decided, giving him no choice at all. He had accepted the way things were a little too easily for her liking. It hurt, especially when she watched him interact with his younger cousins. Ian was patient, kind, and attentive to them. If only he could love her like she loved him. Then maybe he would love… She looked down, noticing her hand was absently stroking her stomach. Maybe she should give him another chance. Tell him how she felt.

“Jeeez.” She pulled the sheet over her head. “I’m one of those girls.” The kind she hated. The kind of girl that put her foot down only to weaken and lift it before the guy she was angry with even made an effort to earn her forgiveness or at least placate her a bit.

A sound in the room made her still under the sheets. It was followed by the sound of the bathroom door opening.

Aria let out the breath she was unconsciously holding. She lay as still as possible while quiet rustling came from the closet. After a few minutes, the bedroom door opened, then closed.

It was the weekend, but Ian never slept in. He was up at seven a.m. every morning. During the week he worked with Michael, who was a lawyer. Michael spent his free time working cases where he felt the defendant was innocent, but didn’t get proper representation. Ian did research for him. When he wasn’t researching for Michael, he was helping out whoever needed it.

Nothing was off limits for Ian. He did dishes, painted fences that surrounded the property for Poppa Morel, and even helped deliver a calf at a neighboring farm. No matter the task, Ian was readily available. It shocked Aria how the pampered city boy that Ian was acclimated to farm life.

Always busy and on the move to avoid dealing with her, no doubt.

He avoided her at night too. Yes, he retired to the room they shared, but he busied himself so he didn’t have to talk to her. He’d taken the girls to the bookstore and brought them their very own copies of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe series. When he wasn’t reading it to them, he read the books on his own until he fell asleep.

Only, today…today he wouldn’t be able to avoid her. Today the kids asked her and Ian to have a picnic near where Alexis’ and Michael’s home was being built.

Aria slid out of bed and into the bathroom where she showered and dressed, then started her day. When she stepped into the kitchen, the smell of sausage and syrup teased her. Mama Morel was in her usual spot over the stove. The woman was a great cook and seemed to love doing it. Aria inwardly winced. She was a horrible cook. Sandwiches and heating leftovers was the extent of her kitchen experience.

Aria walked in with a smile and offered to help like she did every morning since Ian brought her here. Mama Morel had learned early on to give her the simpler tasks. The ones usually meant for the children. No one would ever confuse her with Betty Crocker.

“You want to scramble eggs this morning, Aria?” Mama Morel pointed to the carton near the fridge.

Guess the woman hadn’t learned after all
.

Normally Aria would have made an excuse, but she was going to have to learn to cook if she ever wanted her child to eat food cooked at home instead of fast food. After picking out several tiny shells from the mixture, Aria followed Mama’s instruction to the letter, seasoning, and then scrambling the eggs until they were fluffy clouds of goodness.
Well, they look good anyway,
she thought as she placed them in the center of the long dining table.

“I know you guys are having a picnic later, so you won’t be saving Ian’s breakfast, but I bet he would love to try your eggs, dear.” Mama Morel handed her a plastic container with two sausages and two slices of bacon inside.

Aria spooned some eggs into the container then placed it in the refrigerator where she usually put his breakfast.

Ian wouldn’t be joining them for breakfast. He rarely did anymore. Dinner was different, though. Mama Morel required everyone who slept in their beautiful home to eat dinner as a family. That included her, Ian, and Pop Morel of course. Because their home was in the process of being built, Alexis, Michael, and Selene were included since they were staying there off and on. Though most of the time the entire Morel clan ate dinner at the senior Morel home, which they called the Main House, because they all lived close by.

Selene showed up first for breakfast. Pop and Michael followed closely behind her. Only Ian and Alexis were absent. Ian was helping Mr. Haskins with barbed wiring something while Alexis was off meeting her book club for breakfast.

They’d invited Aria to join the book club, but she had declined. There was no way she could sit inside a coffee shop without ordering a cup in spite of the heartburn that plagued her. She would read the book club’s new book, and hopefully the coffee shop sold something fruity she could drink for next month’s breakfast meet-up.

Upon finishing her breakfast, Aria did her usual thing and helped clean the kitchen. At first Mama Morel hadn’t liked the invasion of her space while cleaning, but she’d soon accepted Aria’s help, and the two women had fallen into a pattern.

After their meal Aria would clear the table and do the dishes while Mama Morel cleaned the stove, the counters, and washed the table linens. Time after that was spent relaxing, talking or hearing stories about the Morel history. Or Mama’s new favorite subjects—talking about Ian or the baby Aria carried. Aria tried to keep the conversation focused on the baby as much as possible.

Because Mama Morel did all her cooking from scratch, she spent a good amount of time with meal preparation. Sometimes Aria helped, the bonus being she was actually learning to cook. Aria assisted with other chores to help ease some of the strain on the lovely matriarch. Today they were waist-deep in laundry.