Iridescent (Ember 2) (31 page)

“I’m sorry,” Gabe offered in a muted voice. “I thought you should know.” His eyebrows pulled down into a frown, and his lips pressed together tightly, holding back on whatever else he wanted to say.

Chapter Twenty-Four

F
OR
E
VERY
C
HOICE
M
ADE
, there had to be a negation of another choice that could have been. Each choice sees a person as a traveler on a road, unable to return to an earlier point on the journey and decide differently. How, then, could that person learn to live with those decisions, knowing they had destroyed an infinite number of other possibilities? As Candra made her way through the city, she wanted to believe that somewhere out there, other versions of herself were traveling different journeys.

Brie’s gallery was in a slightly bohemian part of the city, despite it being a little out of the way for some of her regular high-end clients. Most were prepared to travel for a viewing of the pieces she sold. Some asked her to decide for them, but that was something Brie rejected. Art was too personal, something to be savored and embraced. She didn’t deal in investment art. Every piece, like a precious child, went to a loving home. Brie happily displayed artwork for her clients, making sure the light was just right and the selected piece would be shown for maximum impact. Sometimes, Candra wondered if her method was a phantom impression of the angel she once had been. Each client had to make an individual choice—free will.

Smaller, older stores selling art supplies surrounded the renovated building. These were mixed with book stores, where a lucky browser might come across a signed first edition of their favorite tale, and several coffee houses, where writers, painters, musicians, and other creative types congregated, sitting on comfortable mismatched chairs and drinking gigantic steaming mugs of the best coffee in the city. In the summer, they gathered in the open, enjoying the sun under the cool shelter of brightly colored awnings. Now, they huddled inside, away from the chilled air and gusting winds blasting up the street.

In the process of establishing a solid reputation as someone trustworthy in art circles, Brie had discovered several successful local artists. These people would never have gotten a showing without Brie’s dedication, space, and time. She nurtured them and protected them until they were ready to break out on their own, but she hadn’t been able to do much nurturing lately. The majority of her time had been spent obsessing over her stepdaughter. Candra felt immensely guilty about it.

Candra held tightly onto the cardboard tray holding three cups of coffee she had just picked up and pushed open the single paned glass door. A bell tinkled overhead before the door closed. Inside, the gallery was even more in contrast to the surrounding buildings. Crossing the threshold was almost like stepping into a futuristic world of stark white walls and stripped floors. Metal and glass stairs swept up to the top floor to Brie’s office and the painting storage area. A room at the rear of the main viewing area held sculptures currently not on display. The most recent collection consisted of blockish colors over large canvases and roughly carved figures standing on high pillars.

She went to the tall, curving reception desk and peered over the top to see Gabe diligently one-finger tapping at the keyboard of a computer and looking thoroughly mystified.

“I smell coffee. Please tell me you have one there for me.”

Candra had learned over time that angels had many vices, coffee being the very least of them. She pulled out one of the disposable cups and placed it on top of the counter. Gabe looked up, and his grateful smile was dazzling. Candra’s cheeks heated. In spite of the expensive suit, Gabe’s youthful appearance made it easy to take him for a college student earning some extra cash or gathering work experience. His careful demeanor and the way Candra had seen him keeping a wary distance from any of the works of art in the past showed he was no art dealer. He let out a long sigh, his shoulders rising and falling before he took the cup.

“Why do you come here when you clearly have no idea what you are doing?” Candra teased him.

Then it was Gabe’s turn to blush. He scratched his jaw absently with one hand and shrugged. He didn’t need to answer; Candra already knew. Gabe had been stuck to Brie’s side like glue since they had been reacquainted. Brie had never said directly, but Candra had deduced almost within moments of first seeing them together that they had a romantic history. Candra suspected Gabe of being leery about letting Brie out of his sight again, even if that meant working alongside her in the gallery. He was besotted with Brie, although she still struggled with the new dynamics of their relationship. After all, she had walked away from him—she had fallen without ever saying goodbye. Brie claimed she’d never regretted the decision, but sometimes, Candra noticed she couldn’t quite meet Gabe’s eyes, and she frowned if he ever spoke about the time they were apart.

Candra wondered what would eventually happen between them. Gabe was still an angel and would never age; Brie, on the other hand, would grow old and die. Did they stand a chance of a future together here? Was it worth fighting for, and was it worth dying for? He might decide to fall too, she supposed, but Gabe had made no indication that he planned to. Candra didn’t want to think about it anymore.

She’d spent another restless night dreaming about lights and swarming angels, and she’d made her decision. She’d decided to tell Draven everything and then give herself over to Lilith. What use was she as a weapon when no one understood how to use her? At least this way, there was a chance. She hoped Lilith would open the gateway and allow those who wanted to return to heaven to do so. Those who remained would still have a chance to figure out a way to retrieve the blade and banish her. If her gamble failed to pay off and Lilith went back on her word, then the Watchers could stand their ground and fight. She couldn’t save everyone. For better or worse, her decision was to allow the future to reveal itself like a rug unrolling.

“Where’s Brie?”

Gabe removed the lid from his coffee and sniffed at the steaming, frothy liquid with a satisfied smile. “Upstairs, probably hiding out so she can laugh hysterically at my inability to master technology.”

Candra snorted a laugh. Sebastian had told her the Watchers had seen worse in the past and needed to hold on to the hope there was still a future worth fighting for. She suspected he’d said it partially to placate her. She wasn’t convinced the Watchers had seen worse. If they had, what was her purpose?

However, she did understand the idea of passing time as normal. It wasn’t ignoring the problem and hoping it went away. It was more about focusing on a fixed point in a storm, staying grounded while everything around fell away.

“I’ll head on up,” Candra told him, taking the tray and turning to the stairs.

“Candra,” he began tentatively.

She halted and watched him from over her shoulder.

“About last night…well, the last few days, really—”

“It doesn’t matter. As long as Sebastian doesn’t go back on his word, none of it matters.”
Liar,
her mind screamed.
It matters
.

He smiled briefly, seeming to see straight through her poker face. “Brie doesn’t know about you and Sebastian. We figured you’d want to talk to her about it yourself.”

No, she really didn’t want to talk about him anymore to anyone, but she could appreciate the sentiment behind giving her the option. Candra guessed Brie was pissed about her staying away from home already. She would be more annoyed about being kept in the dark about Sebastian.

“I’m going to leave now before she realizes I’ve deleted her online invoices for the last two months. I’ll see her at home.”

Candra forced a snicker over her shoulder. “I won’t tell.”

“Good.” He grinned. “I’ll pull the shutters down and lock up when I leave.”

Candra continued up the stairs and noted how Gabe referred to the townhouse she shared with Brie as his home now, instead of the brownstone where Lofi and Sebastian stayed. She resented how Sebastian had entangled himself so deeply into her life that every thought, every action, and everything around her led her back to thinking about him.
It
didn’t just happen; nothing
just happened
. People made decisions that took them down one road or another; Sebastian had chosen, and so had she.

She found Brie in the storage room, poring over her paintings. Her favorite pieces, all carefully inventoried, were wrapped with high-resolution digital images taped to the packaging and stored in custom-made skeletal shelving. Precise and organized, just like Brie.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Trying to concentrate on anything but Lilith.” Brie frowned. “I’m failing miserably.”

“You don’t have to worry, Brie. I’m going to take care of this.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Brie deadpanned and glanced up at her from the paintings.

Candra tossed the carrier in the trashcan and sat down on one of the chairs beside the table. She took a sip of her coffee, avoiding answering Brie. It wasn’t like she could tell her she wouldn’t do anything silly. Besides, if she lied, Brie would know…she always did. If Candra admitted to Lilith’s offer, Brie would put her on lockdown, and Candra had no intention of sitting on the sidelines. She was actually surprised at how calm she felt about the whole thing on reflection and wondered if her experiences with Draven had anesthetized her to the idea of giving up her life.

After a few moments of silence, Candra finally spoke. “This is about me. What do you expect me to do?”

Brie sighed and shut her eyes briefly. She pushed a large canvas she was holding forward and settled it before joining Candra at the table.

“I have never expected anything of you. Being your guardian never came with that luxury.”

The old jolt of guilt crashed into the pit of Candra’s stomach again. Every decision she made hurt Brie, and she always took it with the same grace, turning the other cheek and waiting for the next strike. Candra found herself in her usual quandary, wanting to comfort Brie with chicken noodle soup or shake some sense into her.

She handed Brie a cup of coffee as an alternative. “I’m sorry.”

Brie accepted the offering with a tight smile. “Never apologize. You didn’t ask for this, and you certainly can’t be judged for whatever choices you make.”

“Okay.” Candra nodded. It almost seemed as if Brie took offense at the merest suggestion Candra could make the wrong choices, as if whatever she decided was right by virtue of it being the path of Candra’s own choosing.

She reached forward, brushing her thumb under Candra’s eye, and scowled. In an unusual move, Candra had applied concealer over the dark purple smudges she had gained as a side effect of not sleeping. Obviously, it hadn’t worked.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Brie’s mouth lifted at the corners. She’d always appeared pleased that Candra shared her enjoyment of art. Candra had expected an inquisition about her recent sleepovers or about Sebastian. Her suspicious mind hummed ruefully at Brie’s avoidance of the subject.

“I guess you could say I’m doing the same as you. I’m trying to keep things normal.” Candra looked down to her cup and peeked up to Brie speculatively from under her eyelashes. “I take it you haven’t spoken to Sebastian.”

Brie paused mid-sip and took the cup away from her lips, placing it carefully on the table and turning it slowly between both hands. She kept her eyes trained meticulously on the movement. “I’m trying my very best not to interfere between the two of you. I don’t find this easy. Sebastian was mine first—my brother, my friend…for a long time, we spoke about everything.”

“You didn’t tell him about my existence. You left him behind.”

Brie shook her head but didn’t respond otherwise.

“And there is no two of us to interfere between,” Candra corrected her. The calmness in her voice surprised her. She hadn’t expected to accept the situation so readily. It made her wonder if she had truly accepted it at all or if she was still holding onto some tiny sliver of hope that it was all some ugly dream. Regardless, she couldn’t allow him to die. Candra wasn’t selfless enough to risk him and those she loved without doing everything in her power to prevent it. Maybe there was something wrong with her wiring…or something right with it. Her instincts prevented her from disregarding Lilith’s offer. If she could turn it to their advantage, she had to take a chance.

Brie lifted her eyes to Candra and fixed her with a piercing gaze.

Candra fidgeted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable discussing what happened. “Sebastian ended things with me two days ago. He wants to go back to how things were before I came along: sex, drugs, and rocking and rolling with Ananchel,” she finished lamely.

Brie pressed her lips together, and a blush flamed across her cheeks. Candra recognized the reaction as a sign of her anger. “I still don’t understand.”

Irrationally, Candra bristled, and she had to bite her tongue so as not to snap needlessly. She didn’t want to have to go through the details, although she understood that Brie deserved more than a brush off. She took a deep breath and swallowed the desire to keep her secrets all inside. It was enough to suppress the truth about Lilith. Adding what Sebastian had done would create a combustible situation.