Ironbark (76 page)

‘It's your business, mate. If
our wife
doesn't ask me, I won't tell her.'

‘She's too bloody proud to ask. You can put money on that!' Jake was intent on changing the subject to something less painful. ‘What's for breakfast?'

Fortified by the bottomless teapot, Jake gratefully attacked a pile of Bran's famous golden pancakes, smothering them with Canadian maple syrup. When Bran marched around the corner to work in the forge, Daniel gave the order.

‘Now you can sing for your supper. My studio on the double. Strip off your clothes. I've got a painting roughed out. You've got the perfect body for it.'

‘A prize fighter?' asked Jake.

‘A bushranger. Lying asleep in a cave, naked except for his boots, a rifle within reach on guard against the traps. The pose will suit you perfectly, you can doze off under your hat.'

As the brush flew across the canvas, Jake saw that Daniel had already withdrawn into the private world where he was most truly alive.

Under his hat, Jake felt trapped into confronting his major decision. What next? He tried to unscramble his thoughts.

I'm too bloody young to be celibate. Let's face it, I'm a one-woman man – I even prefer to go to the same prostitute. I can live without a woman if I
have
to but I need children to anchor me. No matter how good a man is in bed (or out of it) there's no pleasing a good woman. And with a Romani good woman – a man can't bloody win. The only thing a bloke can trust with his life is his horse.

I'm bloody sure of one thing. I will never do time in the
sturaban
again – never! And before I die I'm gunna breed a champion racehorse.

Honesty forced him to face something he didn't like.
I'm a lousy son. Never did a damned thing for Mam and Pa except cause them grief. I run around fixing other people's problems to avoid solving my own.

He recalled that last thought had been Lily Pompadour's opinion of him.

He was trying to piece these random thoughts into a plan of action when Daniel broke his train of thought.

‘Want to tell me what's up with you and Keziah?' ‘It's over. Finished.'

Daniel's brush froze. ‘Does that mean she's only got
one
husband now?'

Jake peered out from under his hat. ‘Why are you asking? You don't find women's bodies attractive. Do you?'

‘I'm surprised you need to ask. I love painting them, the more voluptuous the better. Problem is I can't get local girls to take their clothes off for me.'

‘I meant as a
man
?'

‘What are you driving at? Beauty excites me both as an artist and a man.'

‘What about Kez? You painted her nude. I can't imagine there's a man on the planet who wouldn't want to bed her.'

Daniel took time to weigh his answer. ‘After the hell of Gideon Park, I wanted to be alone. But later I grew hungry for human warmth. I was curious to test myself. Keziah was a woman I came to like and trust. Sometimes she was gentle, sometimes aggressive – almost like a man. I found that contrast exciting.'

Jake felt even more dejected. ‘Noticed that too, did you?'

‘I knew if I was ever going to be able to do it with a woman, it would be
her
, but I also knew it couldn't last. I didn't want Gabriel growing up with that confusion in a father. So I kept my brother-sister pact with Keziah. Answered my needs in my own way.'

Daniel looked as if everything between them hung in the balance. ‘That answer your question?' He carefully examined his paintbrush. ‘Let's get back to work.'

Jake closed his eyes, but his mind was restless for answers.
How do I answer
my
needs? Where the bloody hell is home? Nowhere. I'm not cut out to be a family man. Tried my damnedest twice – failed twice. What's next? I used to be a man of action.

Action! It came in a flash. A plan that would shake the foundations of the ménage. But before he could begin it the distant peal of chapel bells reminded him.
Keziah! Shit. It's Sunday again.

Bran charged into the studio urgently miming his concern that Keziah must not miss chapel.

Jake tried to sound offhand. ‘It's up to Kez. She knows if she doesn't front she'll be sprung back in the Factory.'

Bran slammed the door and ran off in the direction of Jake's house, yelling over his shoulder.

Jake turned to Daniel. ‘Jesus. I could have sworn Bran just said, “Bugger you both!”'

‘He did,' said Daniel.

• • • 

Later that day as Bran baked his traditional Sunday side of mutton and Daniel was absorbed in the finishing touches of ‘The Bolter', Jake laboured over writing a pile of invitations.

He cursed his spelling but was determined not to ask Daniel's help. He addressed the first to Reverend Parsons at Berrima Gaol. He gritted his teeth writing one to Caleb Morgan in Melbourne Town.
I must be off my rocker to trust that smug Pommy within cooee of Kez, but I owe it to Gabe.

A storm broke just as Bran marched from the cookhouse bearing a huge platter of baked mutton and roast potatoes. The three males in the Sarishan ménage hungrily devoured it in silence as the rain hammered on the iron roof. The oil lamps swung from the rafters when the gale pierced the cracks in the unsealed walls and made the fire jump in the hearth.

‘You're a bloody great cook, Bran,' said Jake. ‘Thanks for the shakedown. I'm throwing a party at the Doc's place to announce my big plans. You two had better be there.'

‘Won't it be difficult to get Kez to face our friends?' Daniel asked. ‘She hasn't seen anyone since she came home.'

‘Yeah, but I'll fix that somehow.'

Daniel looked irritated. ‘Pardon me for being nosey but how do these big plans affect me? Our ménage is for
my
protection as well as hers, remember?'

‘You've got
our wife
for camouflage. Kez'd never give you away in a million years.'

‘So what's the big mystery? Why can't you tell me now?' ‘It's not all firm yet. Just turn up on the day and I'll set you all straight.'

Jake refilled Bran's glass. ‘There ought to be a law against how hard you work, Bran. Can you finish your smithing in time? And you, Dan?'

Bran's upturned thumbs signalled his pleasure, but Daniel was reluctant.

‘I'll come but only because it's my duty as Keziah's husband.' When Jake jerked two fingers in a graphic response, Bran's laughter broke the ice.

It was time for Jake to write the toughest letter of all. He knew the spelling was original but he hoped the message between the lines was clear.

Dear Mam and Pa,

This letter proves I'm a hypocrite. Last time we met we all agreed I was dead. Well things have changed a bit. Jenny shot off with her bloke to Cape Town. I've got Pearl. She's ten and tries so hard to be a farmer's daughter she'd break your heart, Pa.

Maybe you've heard some odd stuff about me on the grapevine. I'm living with my woman who's just done time in the Factory. I reckon anyone can do murder under the right circumstances, so don't hold that against her. Anyway she's a bloody good little mother. Her boy Gabriel's nearly seven and game as they come. And we made another lad together. Yosie is just walking. He's the spitting image of you, Mam – poor kid. Red hair and covered in freckles. He can't even go out in the dark without a hat on.

I know you won't come Saturday fortnight to the Haunted Farm at Ironbark to hear my plans because no one carries a grudge longer than the Irish and there's no man more stubborn than a Viking. But if you did come you'd like the youngsters. Remember my woman has had a rough time of it. She ain't herself yet.

Your Andersen Black Sheep

Now Jake faced the biggest challenge of all. Keziah.

Keziah was on her knees weeding the herb garden with little Yosie at her heels playing with a toy cart. When she looked up to see Jake striding towards her leading Horatio she was furious to find her hands were trembling. It was her first sight of him since he had stormed out three weeks earlier.

He looked healthy enough, clean-shaven with freshly pressed clothes, his washed hair shining in the sunlight. Keziah felt her heart racing, first with relief that he was all right, next with anger that he didn't appear to have suffered one little bit during their absence.

Jake's tone was cool. ‘We're driving over to the Doc's for a meal. Get the children scrubbed up. Don't want them to look like urchins.'

Without waiting for her answer he marched off to the stables.

Keziah flew into action, double-checking the children's clothes and grooming. Her blue dress was the only one small enough to fit her well but that was dripping wet on the clothesline. She belted in an old dress with a sash. She paused at the mirror before knotting a fresh scarf around her head, feeling a faint sense of pleasure to see the tufts of hair on her head had begun to form tiny curls. On impulse she discarded the false braid and drew a few strands of new hair from under the scarf to frame her face. She pinched her cheeks to increase their colour. Then for protection against the nervous ordeal ahead she added her grandmother's silver amulet. Janet Macgregor would be the first female to see her since her release from the Factory. Keziah wanted no pity.

Jake yelled from the driver's seat of the
vardo
. ‘I haven't got all day to waste!'

Keziah ignored him, choosing to gently prise Yosie from her step-daughter's arms.

‘I'm so proud of you, Pearl. You've been a great help to us, but today I want you to learn to be a little girl again.'

Keziah looped the child's skinny plaits into bunches of blue ribbons to disguise her large elf-like ears. She was startled when Pearl threw her arms around her and released all her childhood pain in a confused torrent.

‘My real mama didn't want me. She left me with the nuns at Christmas and all the other girls went home. Mama told me I was an ugly duckling. The boys are beautiful like you. I wish you could love me too, Mama, but I'll always be plain.'

Keziah heard Jake yelling, ‘Hurry up, it's boiling hot out here!'

She called back from the doorway, ‘We'll be out in a minute!'

She knew Pearl's anguish must be dealt with here and now. She felt it like a physical pain inside her own breast.
If only I could win her trust, I could heal her.

She propped Yosie in his highchair and gave him the toy boxing kangaroos Daniel had carved for him. Then she sank down on the floor and drew Pearl into the circle of her arms.

‘Listen, you've got it all wrong. From now on I
am
your mama – always. When Mama Jenny went to Cape Town she signed a piece of paper giving you to your papa because he could
never
be happy without his little princess.'

Keziah swallowed the truth.
Sold her to Jake for thirty pieces of silver is more like it.

Pearl was listening too intently to cry. Keziah pressed on.

‘You are just like me, Pearl. When I was five my mother left me with
my
papa. I never saw her again. I know how sad you feel inside but your family and all the people who love you know what a truly brave little girl you are!'

Pearl's eyes shone and Keziah kissed her cheek. ‘Never forget. Papa and I love you three children equally.'

On impulse she drew Pearl to the mirror and transferred her
silver amulet to her neck.

‘My grandmother gave me this to protect me. Now I give it to
you
, my daughter. See? What's this silly idea you're plain? Look how beautiful you are! It's like magic. You believe it and it happens. Tell the mirror, “I am Pearl – beautiful, clever and kind. I am a princess.”'

The moment Pearl whispered those words her mirror image smiled back.

‘Hey, who's the beautiful princess?' Jake asked when Pearl ran out to the
vardo
. He jumped down and lifted her up beside Gabriel, leaving Keziah to clamber up unaided.

‘What kept you girls so bloody long?' he hissed at Keziah.

‘Secret women's business!' she said. Little Yosie gave her a blissful smile as a damp patch spread across her skirt. No time to change him. Jake was a volcano ready to erupt.

• • • 

Jake was pleased to see the welcome committee lined up on the veranda of the Haunted Farm. Leslie and his new Scottish ticket-of-leave gardener wore their kilts. Janet stood stiffly to one side, an apron covering her housekeeper's dress. Jake was relieved by the spontaneous way she gathered Keziah in that wordless warm embrace exchanged between ex-prisoners.

The children ran to the garden where their own party had been set up for them. Janet took one look at the damp patch on Keziah's skirt and took her into the kitchen to sponge it down and iron it dry.

During the meal Jake and Leslie kept the conversation flowing to cover the awkwardness of Keziah's lack of response. Jake's frustration found a safe outlet in his attack on Norfolk Island's new superintendent.

‘Five minutes in power and Major Childs has destroyed Alexander Maconochie's prison reforms. The Scot was so enlightened and humane naturally the bloody authorities had to sack him.'

Leslie Ross was in full agreement. ‘Aye, I dinna hold with mutiny
but this is one time when prisoners would be justified in taking the law into their own hands.'

Jake saw Keziah flinch at this reminder of her own downfall and cursed himself for raising the subject.
Jesus wept. I've done it again.

He was grateful when Janet covered his gaffe by drawing Keziah away to the kitchen garden to identify an unusual herb and the Doc carted Jake off to his study.