Is My Bow Too Big? How I Went From Saturday Night Live to the Tea Party (32 page)

BOOK: Is My Bow Too Big? How I Went From Saturday Night Live to the Tea Party
4.54Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Just then, Paul approaches in his immaculate, equipment-laden police uniform. I get a tingle. He’s so cute with his serious face and manly manners. He looks worried. That is so romantic. When he sees I’m going to live, he starts cracking jokes. “I leave her alone for five minutes! What was it this time? You were tap dancing on the roof to be closer to God? She slept on the roof once, you know? She’s insane.” He swoops Aubrey into his arms and says, “Why are you two dressed like this? You look like slobs.”

“I didn’t really plan this field trip today, honey. It kind of surprised me.”

They wheel me outside in a wheel chair. Paul goes to get the car. I’m thinking about how many photographs of handstands I have, and if I can never do one again. Why, there’s probably over two-hundred. I’ll make a coffee table book. That’ll keep me busy for a little while. And, if I can get it back, maybe I’ll start doing stand-up again. I must heal. I must do it again. I will never take it for granted. If I cannot do it any longer, that will mean I am dead. Or worse: old.

Two nurses brush past me and I hear them say, “Ha, ha, I thought that was her!”

“So that
is
her real voice!”

The End

Baby, all the world’s a stage,

Playwright pens your final page,

And then He brings the curtain down.

So blow us your kisses and drench our eyes,

We’ll rise to our feet to say goodbye for now.

So baby take your bow.

The show is over now,

Time to lay your burdens down.

Baby, take your bow.

–Chris Rice

Evidence Obama is a Communist

Where do I start?

His dad was a communist.

His mom was a communist.

His grandparents were communists.

His childhood mentor was communist Frank Davis.

He had Marxist college professors.

He’s a friend of
Weatherman
—homeland terrorist, Bill Ayers.

He taught a course on Saul Alinsky’s
Rules for Radicals
, which is dedicated to Lucifer.

He attended Trinity church for twenty years where Jeremiah Wright preached Black Liberation Theology, which is Marxism disguised as Christianity.

He told Joe the Plumber on the campaign trail that he wanted to “spread the wealth,” which is a quote from the
Communist Manifesto,
written by Karl Marx and that other guy.

He was a community organizer and worked for ACORN.

He appointed excessive czars (including Van Jones, an avowed communist) as his Green Jobs Czar. Would a capitalist appoint a communist to such a position?

He appointed Jarret, Holder, Pelosi, Susstein, Hillary, Sotomayer, Kagan, and more “Progressives,” which is the new word for communist.

He took over GM, bailed out banks, and Wall Street, etc. Destroying capitalism.

He bribed socialized medicine into law.

He said in his State of the Union Address, “With or without Congress, I will…”

He tripled regulations on businesses to halt homeland production and make jobs go overseas.

He supports Occupy Wallstreet and in many speeches stirs up class warfare.

He tried to create multiple crises (Cloward and Piven strategy: “Overload the U.S. public welfare system in order to precipitate a crisis that would lead to a replacement of the welfare system with a national system of “a guaranteed annual income and thus an end to poverty.”) including a flu where Biden told us not to fly or use public transportation; an oil spill, which halted drilling; a gun crises with Fast and Furious; and man-caused climate change based on fake science—all to expand government control.

He used the fake anthropogenic climate excuse to destroy the coal, gas, and oil industry; crash the middle class; make a welfare state; regulate our energy, showers, and light bulbs; and to pay back his supporters, the windmills, and Solyndra type green corporations.

He bowed to our enemies, offended our allies, spit on Israel and England, and apologized for the U.S. around the world.

He weakened the military by defunding and repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

He punished our CIA, and pushed to give terrorists the citizen’s right to a court trial.

He helped the Muslim Brotherhood infiltrate the highest government positions including the FBI, and allows them to control the dialogue, censoring the news by disallowing the words
Muslim
,
Islam
,
Allah Akbar
, and
terrorist
to be used in stories like the Ft. Hood shooting.

He told us to report our friends and neighbors who disagreed with Obamacare to
http://[email protected]
. Sounds like the Thought Police.

He uses a Pepsi symbol as propaganda art to advance his popularity. What other politician has a symbol?

He assembled a private army, the TSA, broke the Fourth Amendment, and threatens to regulate guns.

He promotes “hate speech” legislation that will silence Christians.

He sued Arizona, and refused to address the illegal immigration problem at the border.

He said, “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon,” and he said, “the [white] police acted stupidly in the Gates/Crowley affair.” He ignored the Black Panther voter intimidation. This is “intentionally creating racial conflict” straight out of Alinsky, Marx, Cloward, and Piven.

His new spiritual advisor is Jim Wallis, the “social justice” communist.

He twisted Scripture at the National Prayer Breakfast to portray Jesus as a Marxist.

He refuses to explain his fake Social Security number and forged birth certificate.

His college records are sealed.

He signed the NDAA on December 31, 2011, which allows indefinite detainment of U.S. citizens without a trial. Though intended for terrorists, it intentionally leaves a gray area.

…is that enough proof?
For more facts, read:

The Manchurian President
   by Aaron Klein
Red Army: The Radical Network that Must be Defeated To Save America
   by Aaron Klein
Barack Obama and The Enemies Within
   by Trevor Loudon
The Communist
   by Paul Kengor
The Roots of Obama’s Rage
   by Dinesh D’Souza
Obama’s America: Unmaking the American Dream,
   by Dinesh D’Souza

Is Jesus God?

Jesus Claimed to be God

For this cause therefore the Jews were seeking all the more to kill Him, because He not only was breaking the Sabbath, but also was calling God His own Father, making Himself equal with God.
(John 5:18)
I said therefore to you, that you shall die in your sins; for unless you believe that I am He, you shall die in your sins.
1
(John 8:24)
Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I AM.”
(John 8:58)
“I and the Father are one.” The Jews took up stones again to stone Him. Jesus answered them, “I showed you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you stoning Me?” The Jews answered Him, “For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy; and because You, being a man, make Yourself out to be God.”
(John 10:30–33)

The Bible Claims Jesus is God

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
(John 1:1)
And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.
(John 1:14)
Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”
(John 20:28)
For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form.
(Colossians 2:9)
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
(Philippians 2:5–8)
But of the Son He says, “Thy throne, O God, is forever and ever, and the righteous scepter is the scepter of His kingdom.”
2
(Hebrews 1:8)

Jesus is Worshiped

Jesus said to worship God alone:

Then Jesus said to him, “Begone, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.’ ”
(Matthew 4:10)

Yet
He
receives worship:

“Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east, and have come to worship Him.”
(Matthew 2:2)
And they came into the house and saw the Child with Mary His mother; and they fell down and worshiped Him; and opening their treasures they presented to Him gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh.
(Matthew 2:11)
And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “You are certainly God’s Son!”
(Matthew 14:33)
BOOK: Is My Bow Too Big? How I Went From Saturday Night Live to the Tea Party
4.54Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Pride & Princesses by Day, Summer
Spun by Emma Barron
A World Without Heroes by Brandon Mull
Dorthena by Sharon Barrett
Shear Trouble by Elizabeth Craig
When Colts Ran by Roger McDonald
The Pleasure Tube by Robert Onopa
Pastime by Robert B. Parker
Major Attraction by Julie Miller
The Death Row Complex by Kristen Elise