IslandAffair (7 page)

“Some water or juice would be great, thanks.”

John took his bag into the white- and pale-green-tiled room
and dried off and changed quickly. When he came back into the living area,
Robin was still rustling around in the kitchen. He took a seat on the sofa and
in a few minutes Robin returned with two glasses of ice water and sat at the
other end. John tried not to be discouraged by the amount of space he left between
them but at least he hadn’t sat in one of the armchairs. He hated this
awkwardness between them.

“So, they found him guilty?” Robin asked eventually.

John looked up from his study of his hands. “Yes, but he had
a massive stroke before the jury reached a verdict.”

“I saw that on the news. Does this mean you’re safe now?”
Robin looked at him, a hint of worry on his face. “I mean, it looks as if
you’ve lost your shadows.”

“They seem to think so. Armstrong’s network dissolved when
it became obvious the man wasn’t going to recover. It couldn’t hold up against
the arrests that had been made and the loss of its leader. If he had made it to
the end of the trial that might not have been the case…there was talk of
witness protection.”

Rob gasped softly. They both knew if that had happened
they’d certainly never have seen each other again.

“I would have refused it. If I had known. God, so many
things would have been different if I’d known.”

Robin smiled sadly. “Dan has a lot to answer for.”

“Aye, he does.” John felt the anger at all the agent caused
him to lose and shoved it away. “He was only doing his job but he’s still an
arsehole. There had to be another way.”

“He did save my life though. I suppose that earns him some
points.”

“Tell me what happened, Rob. I know the bare facts but I
need to hear it from you.”

There was a small silence. Robin took a sip of water and set
his glass down on the table. John saw his hands tremble. He slid over so that
their bodies were touching and hesitantly took the other man’s hand, relieved
when Robin’s fingers curled around his own. Robin matter-of-factly related what
had happened after he left the cottage until he got to the point when he
realized he had been shot. Here his voice broke and he stopped. John’s own eyes
welled with tears and he pulled Robin into his arms, holding him tightly while
he gathered the strength to go on.

“There was no moment when I thought this is it, I’m dead.
Just disbelief and then nothing. Lights out. It wasn’t until I woke up six days
later that I realized I might never have woken up at all.”

“When Dan told me you’d been shot I thought my heart would
stop beating.” John had to stop, swallowing down emotion. “I swear it never
started beating properly again ‘til I saw you standing at that pool. Please don’t
send me away. If it means we have to hide, I’ll do that. I can do anythin’ but
lose you again.”

Robin pulled away to look at him, wiping the wetness from
his face with gentle fingers. “It’s going to be a long road, John. I’m not a
hundred percent yet. I may never be.”

“I don’t care,” he said immediately.

“You don’t know that.”

He did. There was nothing that Robin could say that would
make him mean any less to him at this point but John was silent as the other
man continued.

“Physically I’m getting there but mentally… The bullet just
grazed me and they tell me that’s a good thing but it still did plenty of
damage.” Robin’s hand strayed to touch the scar on his temple. “I have memory
issues, short term mostly, it’s very frustrating…and that leads me to the mood
swings and nightmares. Part of recovering from a major trauma, the docs say.
They say that a lot.”

He smiled wryly. “I can deal with all of that, even if it
means my apartment is sometimes covered in yellow sticky notes. The biggest
issue is PTE. Posttraumatic epilepsy. They hoped it would get better in the
days after I woke up but it didn’t. Now they say it could be permanent or it
may get better in time. Bottom line is, they don’t know. I’m stuck with it for
now and if you stay with me then so are you.”

John opened his mouth to answer but Robin silenced him with
a gesture. “I have full grand mal seizures. It can be very frightening for
people watching.”

John had no doubt that it was but if Robin thought it would
scare him away he was mistaken. He shook his head and squeezed Rob’s hand. “It
doesn’t matter.”

Robin stood and started to pace angrily. “It does matter! I
hate it that I can lose control like that with very little warning. The first
time it happened in public I collapsed in the aisle of the grocery store. When
I came around my mother was crying, everyone was staring and I was lying in a
pool of my own piss.” He turned and glared at John. “Are you really ready for
that?”

John went to him. “I hate that you go through that and yes,
the thought does scare me a little, but only because I don’t know how to help
you.” He drew Robin into his arms. “
Anything
as long as you’re mine,
Rob.”

Robin trembled against him, wrapping his arms tightly around
him. John felt the hitches of his breath and knew he was crying. He stroked his
back soothingly.

“God, John, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

Robin nuzzled his cheek, stubble rasping against his own.
“Stay,” he whispered.

John’s heart surged. He knew things were still unresolved
but this was enough for now. His lover was in his arms again. He returned Rob’s
caress and kissed him, pouring all of his feelings into the brush of lips and
stroke of tongue.

Robin led him to the bedroom where they stripped quickly and
climbed onto the bed. John straddled the younger man, shuddering when their
hard cocks brushed together. It sent shock waves all the way to the base of his
spine. He ran his fingers over the short bristle of his hair and pressed his
lips gently to the scar on his temple and again to the one on the right side of
his chest. Robin grasped his head and pulled him back to kiss his lips and nip
at his chin.

“No pity.”

“Trust me, pity is no’ what I’m feeling right now.” John ran
his hands over the too-thin ribs and fisted the velvet-covered steel of Robin’s
cock. “Grateful.” He ran his thumb over the sensitive head. “Relieved.” He
pumped his fist down Rob’s shaft. “Happy.” Again. “Horny.” And once more.

Robin groaned and thrust his hips up to meet his hand. “Oh
fuck.” His fingers fumbled for John’s hip then settled around his cock, drawing
an answering groan from John’s throat. They worked each other, settling into a
rhythm of thrust and pull that made John’s head spin.

“Shit. John, I’m gonna…”

John barely heard him through the fog of his own impending
release. He threw back his head as hips pounded out his climax against Robin’s
hand. Their seed mingling on the soft, pale skin of his lover’s abdomen.

John eased down to lie against Rob’s side resting his hand
over his heart, feeling a thundering beat to match his own. He studied the
other man’s face as he lay dozing quietly and wished he could brush away the
shadows of exhaustion and worry. But only time would do that. He used a tissue
from the box on the nightstand to clean them both off and shut his own eyes. As
he started to drift off Robin’s quiet voice broke the silence.

“They never caught him, you know.”

John pressed a kiss to his shoulder, feeling the tension of
the smooth muscles. “I know.”

“Sometimes, I feel as though he’s out there, watching me, waiting
to finish what he started. There was a time when I would have welcomed it.”

John squeezed his eyes shut as a tremor shuddered through
him. He cursed Dan viciously for keeping this from him. For keeping him from
Rob’s side when he needed him most.

“I don’t want you to hide,” Rob whispered.

At first John wasn’t sure what he meant and then he
remembered his comment earlier. He lay still, eyes closed. “I’ll wait ‘til
you’re ready, Rob. You’ve got plenty to deal with.”

“I was ready at the resort. Guess I just needed something I
cared enough about.” Robin’s fingers threaded through his own. “I can do it, if
you’re here with me.”

John lifted his hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Go to
sleep,
leannan
. Tomorrow’s soon enough.”

Robin fell quiet again, breathing easing into sleep. Worry
settled over John as he too slid uneasily into slumber.

Robin woke with the sun shining in his eyes and wondered why
he’d forgotten to close the curtains last night. The events of the previous day
and night came flooding back and he sat up quickly. He was alone in the big bed
but a quick glance around revealed John’s bag sitting against the wall.

Robin glanced at the bedside clock and saw that he had slept
for about fifteen hours. Since his injury he couldn’t seem to get enough sleep.
Had he only slept, though? The sheets around him were dry and that alone was
enough to have him squeezing his eyes shut in relief. He didn’t often have a
bad enough fit to lose that much control anymore, thank god. How mortifying it
would have been to explain
that
? He should have warned his lover of the
possibility but in the heat of the moment he hadn’t thought of it.

A quick check of the rest of his body showed that he was
probably okay. He crawled out of the bed and pulled on his boxer shorts. The living
room was empty but the rich smell of coffee drifted out of the kitchen, making
his mouth water. After a quick pit stop in the bathroom, he headed in that
direction.

John was sitting at the kitchen table, coffee at his elbow,
newspaper spread in front of him.

“Good morning.”

He lifted his head. “Good morning.”

Robin saw he was wearing a pair of wire-framed spectacles.
They made him look more like the accountant he claimed to be, rather than the
beach bum he had looked like on the island. There were other differences
too—his shaggy hair was cut and styled and the awful Hawaiian shirts had been
replaced by a dark-green polo shirt and jeans. Robin smiled and John gave him a
puzzled smile back.

“What?”

“I was just wondering about the shirts.”

John grinned. “I have one in my bag.”

“Oh lord.” Robin rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. “I
thought maybe they were part of your undercover disguise.”

“They were, but I got quite fond of them.”

Robin shook his head. “Wonderful.” He went to the counter
and poured himself a coffee, hissing as he spilled some on his fingers. He
licked them clean and brought the prescription bottle that sat next to the
coffeemaker back to the table with him. He forced himself to be nonchalant
about it, pretending it didn’t matter that the other man watched him. This was
a part of his life now and if John was too, they’d both need to get used to it.
He sat in the chair opposite John and swallowed the pills.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Just for reading. I don’t use them much.” He gestured at
the pills. “How often do you take them?”

Robin picked up the bottle, turning it in his hands. “Twice
a day now, more often at the start. It was awful, I felt as if I was living in
a fog. They still make me a little fuzzy when I first take them but I’m used to
it now.” He set them down and picked up his coffee and plunged ahead. “The
seizures are a lot less but you should know what to expect. Stress and anxiety
can trigger them. So can tiredness or if I’m sick. Basically anything that puts
a strain on the body.”

“I’ve seen one before,” John said. “But it was a
stranger…not someone I care about.”

“Then you know there isn’t anything you can do except try to
keep me from hurting myself and let it pass.” That had been the hardest part
for his family to deal with. “I’m usually a bit disoriented when I come out of
it and usually want to sleep for a while.” He looked up and met the other man’s
eyes with difficulty. “Sometimes…there’s…a mess. But that’s gotten better too.”

John met his eyes, face calm, and reached across the table
to squeeze his hand in reassurance. “Thank you for telling me.”

Robin pulled away and swallowed the rest of his drink, more
than ready to change the subject. He only wished it could be to something a bit
less awkward. “I have the next couple of days off. I thought we could go to my
parents today. I’d like to introduce you to them.”

John’s eyebrows rose in question. “Introduce as in
introduce
.
As in
meet
your parents?”

Robin smiled at him and said gravely, “Yes, as in, ‘Hey Mom,
Dad, this is my boyfriend.’”

“You don’t have to do that, love. We have plenty of time.”

“I want to. I don’t want to waste any more of my second
chance looking at the inside of a closet door. It’s past time.” He walked away
from John, leaving him smiling at the kitchen table while he went to get
showered and dressed.

As they pulled up in front of his parents’ house an hour
later, the butterflies in Rob’s stomach turned into frogs and the bowl of
cereal he had eaten threatened to make a reappearance. If he had still been
allowed to drive he might have chickened out and driven past the little
wood-framed bungalow. Instead he sat frozen in the seat of John’s SUV and tried
to gather his wits before his mother came to find out what was going on.

He had called them to make sure they were home and there was
no doubt that she was watching for him. It was only a matter of time before
curiosity and worry brought her outside. Since his injury, she seemed to always
expect the worst and though he could understand why, it didn’t make it any less
annoying. When he was released from the hospital, it had taken all his energy
to convince her to let him go back to his own home. She had wanted him to move
back to the bungalow but by that time Rob just needed some space of his own
where no one hovered. The compromise in the end had been that Jo came back to
the apartment with him for the first week. He had accepted because he knew his
sister would understand and give him the distance he needed.