Isle Of View (34 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Isle Of View
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“I just had an idea,” Nada said as she fussed with the dress, getting things fastened and adjusted. “Suppose we pour the love potion into Dolph's drink? So he takes it when he's with you, and—”

Electra was obscenely tempted. She cursed herself for that. “No. It wouldn't be right.”

Nada sighed. “I thought you would say that. Your life and happiness are on the line, but you insist on doing what's right.”

“I'm sorry. I know it's stupid.”

“That wasn't the word I had in mind.” Nada went on with her business, briskly. She set a fragrant red rose of love in Electra's unbraided hair, and put the veil on Electra's face, adjusting both.

Finally it was done. Nada stood back to look at her. “It's amazing!” she breathed.

“It's a nice dress,” Electra agreed.

“You are suddenly the loveliest woman of the day,” Nada said.

Electra laughed, somewhat bitterly. “Godiva said that wedding dresses have magic. Think what it will do for you, tomorrow!” For they would let out the seams here and here and particularly there, so it would fit.

“I can only see what it does for you, today. 'Lectra, you've always had an inferiority complex about your appearance, but believe me, you are stunning now. Take my word: when the others see you, they will be astonished. They will not be mocking you. You are queen for the moment. Make the most of it!”

“The only one I want to impress is Dolph,” Electra said regretfully. “And he—” She shrugged.

“This time his eyes will pop out of his head!” Nada said. Then they both laughed, picturing that.

It was time. “Oh, Nada, I think my knees are going to melt!” Electra exclaimed.

“And there's a butterfly in your stomach,” Nada said.

“How did you know?”

“Open your mouth and stand still,” Nada said.

Surprised, Electra did so. Nada whacked her on the back. The butterfly flew out of her mouth and fluttered around the room. It was bright yellow, of course.

Nada opened a window and the, butterfly flew out. “You feel better now,” she said.

Electra nodded. It was true.

“Now you must go out there and do it. My brother will guide you down the aisle. Just go where you're taken, and when someone asks you a question, say 'I do.' Then kiss Dolph. After that it's just a matter of listening while folk congratulate him for marrying you.”

“Yes, it's a real sacrifice for him.”

“Now stop that!” Nada opened the door and shoved her out.

Electra was suddenly in front of an audience. Everyone was there: King Dor, Queen Irene, Dolph's grandpa Bink with his wife, Chameleon, in her neutral stage, King Emeritus Trent with Queen Emeritis Iris, Magician Murphy with Sorceress Vadne; Grey Murphy with Ivy; the Zombie Master with Millie the (former) Ghost and their grown children Hiatus and Lacuna; Cheiron, Chex, and Che Centaur, and with Che was Gwenny Goblin and Jenny Elf and her cat Sammy, all four wearing spectacles and looking happy with the joke; Godiva Goblin with Gloha beside her; Grundy Golem and Rapunzel; Marrow Bones the walking skeleton, and Grace'l Ossein, his female friend with the nice bones; even Draco Dragon quietly smoking in a corner, keeping his fire damped, for he was Dolph's friend too; and any number of other folk Electra had come to know in her six years in this time. Everyone was there, looking at her.

Electra felt herself reeling. She knew she was about to faint.

Then a firm hand caught her elbow. “No you don't, beautiful bride!”

It was Nada's handsome brother, Naldo Naga, in full human form. The one who had suggested this way through their impasse. She wasn't sure whether to bless him or curse him for that, but his presence was reassuring. He surely knew what he was doing.

“Why are they staring?” Electra asked faintly.

“They hardly believe it is you,” Naldo replied in a low voice. “You have been transformed, Electra.”

“No,” she said doubtfully. But somehow she did feel prettier than ever before, except for that moment before Godiva's mirror when she had first tried on the dress. She knew it was illusion, but it was a precious one. She was thankful for the veil, which at least hid her freckles.

Then two trumpet swans stood in a garden of red, green, and bluebells. The swans lifted their flaring bells and played, and the flowers rang their colored bells in accompaniment. Electra realized that Queen Irene must have taken great care with those plants, so that they would be tuned just right. It was the “Wedding March.” It was the loveliest music she could imagine, though it mocked her.

In fact this whole elaborate ceremony mocked her, because everyone knew it was only for a day. Yet Electra knew that it was her only possible chance for joy; if she wasted this, she would have nothing on the remaining days of her life. So she straightened her back, faced forward, and let Naldo guide her down the aisle while the beautiful music played.

There seemed to be a murmur of awe as she passed the various folk of the audience. They were probably admiring the dress. Electra was really thankful that Godiva had made it for her, because otherwise she would have been ashamed to be here at all. She had had no idea that it would be such a fancy occasion!

Then she saw Prince Dolph, standing at the far end of the aisle at the edge of the pavilion. He was in a suit and his hair was combed, both of which she knew made him really uncomfortable. He was taller than he had been. When they first met, they had been the same height, though she was two years older. But recently he had grown, and now he was taller than she was. He was also halfway handsome. He was facing her, and absolutely still; he seemed to be in a trance. Her heart went out to him; she knew he didn't want to marry her, even for a day, and she was sorry to be putting him through this. But it was the way it had to be.

Beyond the end of the aisle was a huge hypnogourd, angled so that its peephole faced away. Before it stood what appeared to be a big wooden horse.

That was the Xanthly representation of the Night Stallion, she realized—the head of the realm of bad dreams! She had encountered him briefly when she first woke from her long sleep after being kissed by the Prince, and she had been terrified. But now she was outside the gourd, where the Horse of Another Color did not have power, and she was more curious than afraid. What was he doing here?

But further consideration gave her the answer. Prince Dolph had a special relationship with the gourd; he could go there when he chose and be well treated, because the Night Stallion liked him. Naturally the stallion was here for Dolph's wedding. He was Dolph's best man—or best creature.

King Nabob Naga, Nada's father, was here to perform the ceremony. Naturally he had an interest, too!

Naldo placed her beside Dolph, facing the King, and stepped back. But Dolph remained fixed. It was as if he had been turned to stone, which was impossible, because the Gorgon, Magician Humfrey's wife, was no longer in Xanth, and nobody was getting stoned.

Turn him.

It was the stallion. Electra understood that he could speak normally when he chose when he was in the gourd, but this wasn't the gourd, so it was more mental, like a dream voice.

It didn't matter, as long as he could be heard.

So Electra put her hands on Dolph and gently turned him to face King Nabob. She had thought that she was the one freaked out by the ceremony, but now she saw that Dolph was worse than she, and she had to help him get through it. She was glad to do it. She would have been glad to help him through the rest of his life, if only he had wanted that.

King Nabob was saying something. Electra tried to pay attention, but she was worried about Dolph, who might as well have been a zombie for all the animation he had. He must be utterly terrified! She took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly; this would soon enough be over.

Suddenly she was jolted to awareness of her own situation. King Nabob had asked her a question! She remembered what to do. “I do,” she said.

“. .. pronounce you man and wife. Kiss the bride.”

Dolph remained in his trance. So Electra lifted her veil away and kissed him. Then at last he began to recover. His arms tightened around her, and he kissed her back. That was a relief; she had been getting quite worried about him.

Then they were in the reception, and the folk were filing by, congratulating Dolph. Electra would have been disgusted, but she realized that this was all show, in an effort to make the man feel good about being caught by the woman.

There was a wonderful big wedding cake, too. Dolph was supposed to cut it, but he still seemed a bit vague, so she guided his hand for him. Her own nervousness had disappeared in her effort to get Dolph through. She would have to warn Nada about this, so that she would be prepared to get him through tomorrow.

Finally it was all done, and they were alone in the pavilion for the night. The others had all gone home, or wherever wedding guests went.

The chamber was beautiful. It had a monstrous feather bed, and pillows and cushions all over, and not much else. It seemed that couples were not expected to be interested in other things on their wedding night.

Dolph seemed vague. “What now?” he asked.

“Now we have to consummate the marriage,” Electra said. “Because it isn't final until we do. And it has to be final, because you can't divorce me until it is.”

He gazed at her as if still not quite understanding. “Oh.”

Electra began removing her dress, because she didn't want such a lovely outfit to be damaged in any way. She would never use it again, but Nada would, and Nada would surely be twice as beautiful in it as Electra could ever dream of being.

“Maybe you should take off your clothes too,” she suggested. “You have such a nice suit, you don't want to sleep in it.”

“Uh, yes, I guess.” He looked helplessly at her. “ 'Lectra, I—I think I never saw you before.”

She laughed, perversely enjoying this. “Of course you have, Dolph! I've been with you every chance I could possibly get, ever since you kissed me awake six years ago.”

“I mean, when you came down that aisle, I didn't recognize you. You were beautiful.”

“It's the dress. That's its magic.”

“Oh.” He started removing his clothing. “Urn, should we—I mean, mother says folk shouldn't be undressed together—”

“We're married now, Dolph,” she said brightly, though the truth was that she was having a qualm or two of her own. Was he supposed to be allowed to see her panties now? She concluded that it was now or never, because after tomorrow it would be Nada's panties he would be seeing, after six years of trying. If Electra's own panties were to have any chance at all, it had to be before Nada's.

She nerved herself and drew the dress off over her head. Suddenly she was in her wonderful pink underclothing. She hoped Dolph would have the grace to be impressed. She turned to face him.

Dolph was now in his underpants. He looked at her— and went straight back into his trance. He just froze in place, not moving a muscle. Oh, no! He had Freaked Out.

She went to him, determined that this night, of all nights, would not be ruined. “Snap out of it, Dolph!” she said. “It's all right! We're married!”

“P—p—p—” he stuttered.

“Panties,” she agreed firmly. “I know they aren't the ones you really wanted to see, but maybe they'll help prepare you for tomorrow.”

But he remained entranced. He just stood there, staring.

“Oh, mice!” she snapped. “This isn't getting us anywhere!” She picked up a pillow and threw it at him. It bounced off the side of his head.

That registered. Dolph picked up a cushion and hurled it at her. Electra threw another back at him. Soon they were in the middle of the biggest, wildest pillow fight ever, for there were many pillows and cushions, and there was no one to stop them. Electra had had some pillow fights with Nada and Ivy at Castle Roogna, but these had been restrained because they hadn't wanted anyone to overhear. Now, with Dolph, there was no restraint. What delight!

She got hold of the biggest pillow she could find, swung it around her head, and whammed him on the rear. “Oho!” he cried joyfully, and got another to wham her with. She fled, screaming happily. Now Dolph was acting normal, and that was the way she liked him.

“Eeeek!” she screamed as she tripped over a cushion and fell headlong on the feather bed. Dolph whammed her directly on the panties while she was down. She rolled over and caught his ankles and yanked, making him fail too. In a moment they were wrestling, jamming cushions at each other, and tickling ribs. They clasped each other, trying to get into better whamming position, rolling over and over. Dolph got a knee over her body, pinning her down, and reached for a pillow so he could wham her on the head. But she cheated: she sat up quickly, caught his head in her hands, and kissed him.

She expected him to make an exclamation of disgust and go to wash off his mouth. But he seemed to lose his strength, and his eyes went vacant.

“Oh, I'm sorry, Dolph!” she said. “I should have let you hit me with the pillow! Don't go into a trance again!”

“K—k—k—kiss,” he said.

“Look, I know I'm not Nada, and you don't like me doing that,” she said, frustrated. “But Dolph, this is my only night to—to be with you, and I wish—”

He caught her shoulders with his hands and hauled her face down to his. “I never kissed you before,” he said. “Do it again.”

“You mean you /z'Aet/ it?” she asked incredulously. “Oh, Dolph, you can have all you want!” She kissed him again, and again, and again ten times, getting in as many as she could before he got disgusted.

But he didn't get disgusted. “Oh, 'Lectra,” he breathed. “I never knew it would be like this with you!” He kissed her back.

“You mean you like mushy stuff with me?” she asked, afraid to be too thrilled for fear he didn't mean it.

“I guess I do,” he said. Then they hugged, and kissed, and hugged again, and kissed again, the pillow fight forgotten.

“But how come?” she asked when they paused for air. She was gaining confidence; it seemed he really did like this.

“When I saw you in that dress, I didn't even recognize you,” he said. “I thought it was some other girl, and I got scared, because I didn't know what had gone wrong. You were so beautiful!”

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