It All Started With a Lima Bean (30 page)

“I guess you are right. It still stinks that she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me though. She was already gone for Thanksgiving.” And there was the real hurt. She wanted her mother’s time and attention during the holidays. Well he would make sure she didn’t have a moment to even think about it this year.

Snuggling back into his chest, she opened up. “When I was growing up, my mom used to sing that song, ‘You and Me Against The World’ by Helen Reddy every night before I went to sleep.” She peeked up through her long eyelashes at him. “It was our thing, but you’re right, she has her things now, and I have mine.” Caleb felt her wicked smile penetrate deep into his primitive, hungry core.

Clearing his throat and moving her body to a sitting position before he acted on his feelings, he continued the conversation. “It’s a normal evolution of life, Sweetie. One day our kids will grow up and have their own lives separate from us, and we will need to be here together as partners through it all.” Just as he’d hoped, her skin began to flush. He missed that. Now that they were officially together, she didn’t blush for him as much anymore. He meant every word he’d said. There was no need to word things any other way. A smile hit his lips while he looked into her surprised face. “You heard me.”

Tilting down to kiss her on the forehead, he took the opportunity to move on to another matter. “Now, we need to discuss something else. Today at the tree lot it was extremely awkward with Peter and...”

Interrupting him, Abby blurted out, “I know, I’m so sorry you’ve been subjected to that two times now.”

Patiently, he answered. “What I was going to say was that it doesn’t have to be awkward. You need to deal with this. You have to figure out a way to work through this with him for your wellbeing, Love.”

“I don’t need to think about him Caleb. I’m with you.” She seemed so sure of that answer, but Caleb wasn’t giving up. He had no interest in running into this guy all over town and have this weird cloud follow.

Moving a calming hand up and down her back, he explained. “Yes, you are with me, but you really can’t be completely happy until you forgive those that you feel have wronged you. You are going to keep hauling that same heavy load of junk around until you get this over with.” Pulling her into a strong embrace with the arm that was around her, he wanted her to know that he was being supportive by bringing it up, not attacking her.

She moved in closer, causing the leather on the couch to squeak. Good she felt his love not rejection. “Have you been talking to Leah about this?” She questioned.

“No but if the two people who love you, see that this needs to happen then maybe you should consider it.” Placing his nose on the top of her head, he took a sniff. He loved to smell her and today her hair had a pine fragrance. She smelled just like Christmas.

“He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness though.”

“You’re right but forgiveness is not given for his sake. You do it for your own. Even if he were to say that he doesn’t want your forgiveness, which I’m sure he won’t say, you do it for yourself. You can leave that heavy weight at his feet, walk away and feel so much lighter. You will keep running into him, it’s inevitable. This town is too small. Even if you don’t see him, you will see one of his family members.”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of an avoider. I’d rather just stay clear from him.”

“I know it seems easier, but trust me, you will feel so much better afterward. It’s one conversation and maybe a little counseling is needed, because I don’t think you’ve fully dealt with the death of your child either.” That look on her face wasn’t good. Maybe he pushed her too far. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you but this is kind of my point. You should be able to talk about it without it upsetting you so much and I really need you to be happy.”

“I have to think about this Caleb. It’s a bit much all at once.” Pulling away from his touch, he felt the cold air replace her.

If she was going to pull away, he was going to follow her. Slowly, so he didn’t scare her off, he moved closer then placed his hand on hers. “I know it is but you can do this and I will be behind you the entire time; whether you want me involved when you have the conversation or just for moral support. I can also refer you to the counselor that helped me with Rene’s passing. She was fantastic.”

“A shrink?” Abby looked at Caleb like he’d just grown two heads.

“No, a counselor. She will give you tools that can help you deal with everything. Like I said, I want to help you through this. Any way you need me to.”

Looking like she would actually consider this, she moved her eyes to his hand on top of hers. “Let me think about it, please.”

“I’m here whenever you are ready.” Sounds of little feet came bouncing on the kitchen floor, and Madison reentered the room. “Can I have a peanut butter sandwich and hot cocoa please?”

Abby was dead on her feet by the time she got home from the Festival of Lights. This was yet another tradition her mom and she shared while growing up, but they hadn’t gone to together the last couple of years. Her mom and husband did make it this time, joining their large group. Abby was delighted that Leah closed the flower shop early enough to meet them, as well as Grace and Robert. Their party covered a large area on the sand just outside of the harbor. Like previous years, the boats parading through the harbor were so beautifully decorated. The Christmas lights bounced off the water as they sailed by. It was just breathtaking. Standing next to Caleb’s warm body as he held Madison in his arms gave her a sense of longing. She wanted to be a part of their lives, more than she needed her next breath. Caleb talked about marriage often, but she didn’t know if he’d decided that she was the one he wanted forever. He said he loved her, and she did believe him, but for life? Could he love her endlessly after knowing her such a short time? Christmas was around the corner, would it be absurd to think that a ring could be under the tree for her? At that thought, she smiled to herself and got ready for bed.

This is what it was all about, kindergarten school performances. It was bittersweet this year however, since it was Abby’s last opportunity to be with her kindergarteners. Madison was just approaching the small bleachers on the stage along with the other children as Abby and her co-teacher Melissa directed them. Standing in her brown sweat suit, reindeer ears and a light up red nose, his little girl waved at him from center stage. He couldn’t be upset with her for it, but knew this was Abby’s last ‘screw you’ to whoever was responsible for having her transferred out of kindergarten. She did use her pull and favoritism to make Madison into Rudolph.

Grace, Robert, Leah and he looked on as the children began to sing ‘Up on the Rooftop’. Laughter sounded throughout the room as the first child started to pick his nose and another began to wander off and cry. Thankful his father-in-law thought ahead of time and brought the video camera, Caleb joined the crowd in merriment. Little fingers attempted to snap during the “click click click” part of the song. This right here was one of the best feelings Caleb could have.

The song ended way too soon. Once the five-year-olds were ushered off of the stage, the next troop appeared. Caleb sat back chatting with Leah when Abby joined them. She smoothed the back of her skirt as she took her seat between him and her best friend. Leaning over to his ear she whispered. “Melissa said she had the kids so I could come out here with you.”

Caleb breathed back. “You aren’t on the clock, right?” She slightly shook her head from side to side. “Good.” Placing his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her close, and then kissed her forehead. He’d noticed the women all around them before he’d sat down. They were all watching because they hoped to find a reason to cause more problems. He wanted them to know that he couldn’t care less about their agendas. Abby and he were a couple, she’d been transferred already, and they no longer had any standing in the situation. Glad she followed his lead, Caleb smiled when Abby relaxed and placed her head on his shoulder.

Abby sat in the sand, allowing the cold grainy substance to slip absently through her fingers. As the sun started to set, she watched a young girl and her mother chase each other along the shoreline, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as memories saturated her thoughts. Every year prior to this one, her mom and she had prepared a picnic in this very spot. It was their annual Christmas Eve tradition. Not this year though. This time she sat here, forgotten, while her mother was off on a cruise with her stepfather.

Darkness descended along with the heaviness in her heart. “Star shining oh so bright, I wish on you this Christmas night, hoping my wish may be granted in the morning. Make a wish Abby; Santa might hear you while he’s up amongst the stars.” The words floated to Abby in the breeze, the same words her mom used to say every time they had come here. At first, she thought she imagined them, and then a picnic basket dropped in front of her.

“Your mom called me and thought you might be here.” Grace explained her unexpected presence as she plopped down beside her on the quilt she’d used every year since she was a child. Tears still streaked across Abby’s face. She wiped them away, embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state.

“You poor girl, come here.” Abby was pulled into an embrace by this kind, caring woman. “You know, when my Rene was young, we used to indulge in an entire chocolate cake every Christmas Eve and not once worried about our waist lines. It was our favorite extravagance over the holiday season. I miss her terribly, but over the years, I have also learned to love new traditions that have come about. I brought along my famous mud cake; do you care to join me?” The picnic basket was well stocked, and Grace got out all the necessities. When a whopping quarter of the cake was passed to Abby on a plate along with a spoon, she instantly smelled rich chocolate and knew she was in for a treat.

“Thank you, it smells wonderful.” The moist cake exploded with flavor on her tongue and Abby couldn’t help but moan in pleasure.

With both of their mouths full of delicious cake and unable to speak, they took the time to admire the beautiful scenery. Multicolored lights from cafes along the pier reflected off the water as well as the ones on the enormous Christmas tree proudly standing at the far end of the wooden dock. The waves had settled, and the water resembled a black mirror as far as the eye could see. Now that the sun had set, a cold breeze made an appearance. Only a few people remained, walking along the shore, dotted up and down the beach.

The peaceful silence was suddenly broken by an excited little voice rushing toward her. “Miss Abby, Miss Abby!” Upon turning, Abby saw tiny little legs pumping toward her, just before Madison jumped into her arms and lap. Luckily, she had just put her plate down moments before.

Bright eyes stared up at her and the loss of her mom on this particular day faded away, only to be satisfied with a new sense of fulfillment. The feeling was made even more complete when Caleb crouched down, wrapped his arms around them both, and gave Abby a peck on the cheek. “Hi Ladies.” He glanced over at Grace as he said it, who winked back at him. Being clued in to the fact that she was being played didn’t bother her in the slightest.