Authors: Carter Ashby
Clara sat her tea glass on the table, the ice rattling inside. She lifted a shaking hand to her lips, tears welling in her eyes. Slowly she curled into herself and sobbed. Myra was right there at her side, rubbing her back and hushing her. “There, there,” she said, among other consoling nothings.
Ivy, probably a minute or two later than she should have, rose to go to the kitchen, giving the two older women some space. She washed a few dishes, brewed some more tea, and when she ran out of things to keep herself occupied, returned to the living room. Myra was back in her chair and the two women were laughing about something.
“Old times,” Clara explained, offering Ivy an apologetic smile.
Ivy smiled in return, clearly the outsider in this little threesome.
But then, Clara grew more serious. “Ivy, I wonder if you and Jared have talked about the possibility of hiring my boys on?”
Ivy quickly switched into business mode. “Of course we have. Jake, Cody, and Boone would be welcome. My father is infinitely forgiving, but I don’t see how I could find my way around to hiring Dallas. He crossed a line that, to me, is a deal breaker. Besides, he’s been very clear about not wanting to work on a ranch anymore.”
Clara nodded sadly. “Gideon’s age is getting to him. He can’t do the things he used to. I think the time will come, soon, that he’ll have to sell. Perhaps we could give Dallas his share and he can go where he wants.”
“That seems wise. He could easily be in prison for what he’s done. But I don’t suppose you want to go that direction?”
“Of course not. He didn’t mean it to go as far as it did, he was just…ignorant.”
“Then maybe you can help him find a direction that would give him more fulfillment. Like Myra’s done for you today.”
Clara smiled and nodded. “But you would hire Boone? He’s lazy, you know.”
“Is he?” Ivy said, laughing. “That’s not a very good reference from his former employer.”
“Well, he works when he’s supervised. He just doesn’t have any drive in him. No work ethic.”
“We’ll see how he feels, if he even wants to work with us. There’s plenty of supervision around.”
“And Cody? You don’t have a problem with him being…being…?”
“Gay? Of course not. It’s not a factor. How much time he spends during work hours making out with Jordan might be, but I’m sure if he wants to work with us, he’ll save his social life for after work hours.”
Clara squirmed. “This…Jordan…he’s a good man?”
“I believe he is. He’s a young man. Just turned twenty. Very sweet and hard working. I think you’ll like him.”
“I’d like to meet him,” she said softly. “I’d like to talk to my boy and ask him how this came to be. What we did. What we could have done.”
Ivy resisted the urge to preach at her. To inform her that this was simply who Cody was. To tell her the only thing she could have done differently was have different DNA. But she kept it to herself. “I think if you approach him, he’ll talk to you. It’s Gideon he’s avoiding at the moment.”
Clara nodded again. “And Jake. You’ll marry him if he asks?”
Ivy’s sense of decorum vanished, she slammed her glass on the table, and leapt to her feet. “The man hasn’t so much as asked me on a date! How can we talk about marriage when I don’t even know if he loves me. I haven’t even had a chance to figure out if I love him. There’s been no conversation…none…about a future like this! I have no idea what he even wants in a wife, let alone whether I want to agree to it.”
“Ivy, dear, calm down,” Myra said, blandly.
Ivy was pacing at this point. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting out the air, and repeating the process several more times before taking her seat again. Clara’s eyes were wide, but her expression suggested amusement. “I’m sorry,” Ivy said calmly at last. “I’ve been asked this question several times today and I’m clearly at my wit’s end.”
“I won’t say another word,” Clara said, and damned if the woman didn’t look like she was suppressing laughter.
Ivy slumped in defeat as the two older women shared knowing looks. As though her destiny were already written in stone and the fact of her fighting it was the funniest thing on earth.
After they left, Ivy cleaned up and went to the office to finish out the work day.
Clara sat down with Gideon and Jake at the kitchen table Saturday evening. The other boys hadn’t come up for dinner that evening, which was just as well, because Clara hadn’t cooked and the men had been forced to make themselves sandwiches. The kitchen was shiny and clean. No pots and pans on the stove. The only evidence of life, the two plates in the sink that Jake and Gideon had used for their meager dinner. Of course they hadn’t washed them. Why would they? That’s what Clara was for. Only she’d done her very last dishes in that house earlier that morning. They would just have to figure some things out on their own.
As Clara had moved about the house that day, she could hear the echo of her heels on the wood floors in the silence. It was just as well she’d made her decision. She’d die of heartbreak at the lack of noise—no boys bickering at the table, laughing at each other, talking about the ranch. Why would they ever come back after the way Gideon had treated them.
Of course, Jake had come back. Clara couldn’t fully understand her oldest boy, except that he’d always been forgiving where Gideon was concerned. Always willing to submit to his father’s authority. Still, it didn’t seem like that was what was happening lately. The dynamic between father and son had shifted.
Gideon hadn’t wanted to sit down with her. He claimed he didn’t have time to deal with any female problems, if she wanted to buy new fabric for a quilt, she would just have to wait until they sold some cattle at auction next week. His easy dismissal of her made it that much easier to say what she wanted to say. Having Jake there made it harder.
“Something wrong, Mom?” Jake asked. He had brewed a pot of coffee and now sat across the table from her, next to Gideon, both of them freshly showered after a hard day’s work. Jake’s hair was still damp and tousled. His skin was bronzed from life outdoors, and he looked strong and content. Ivy was a lucky girl.
“I’ve got some things to say.”
Gideon grunted and glanced at his watch. Clara figured there must be a baseball game on or something, and he was in a hurry to get to it. Too bad for him.
“I’m moving out.”
Her words didn’t immediately register. Jake was sipping his coffee, smiling at her, still waiting. Gideon was barely listening. But then Jake’s smile faded. “Wait, what?”
“I’m moving out of this house and into town.” The decision had cost her one night’s sleep. Thirty-nine years of marriage sold down the river for the price of one night’s sleep. She’d wept, fought, justified…but in the end, her eyes had been opened too far to go back. There would still be some grieving to do. Some accepting. But there was no doubt she was making the best decision for herself.
Jake was still frowning, his coffee cup caught in limbo between the table and his mouth. “For, like…how long?”
“Forever, baby.”
Jake looked at his father, whose attention was now solely focused on Clara. His gaze was angry and annoyed. “What’s gotten in your head, woman?” Gideon asked.
“I’ve lived in service to you most of my life, Gideon. I haven’t asked anything in return because that’s what love is. It’s unconditional. No expectations. But you still had a responsibility. You can only walk on someone so long before they break or leave. I’m leaving before I break.”
Gideon slammed his fists on the table. “What the hell is going on with you? You stop fixing dinner. Start dressing in those ridiculous shoes. What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving.”
“Like hell you are! I done nothing but be a good husband and provider. Gave you four boys, didn’t I? A roof over your head?”
“Pop, stop,” Jake said quietly.
Gideon turned on his son. “I’ll thank you to keep your nose in your own business.”
“That’s enough.”
Gideon raised a hand to slap him, but Jake caught it in his powerful, young grip. Gideon’s eyes went wide with rage while Jake’s stayed cool, his grip on Gideon’s wrist unrelenting.
Clara watched in awe, the silent power struggle. She watched as Jake came into his own and Gideon crumpled in defeat, pulling his arm back and rubbing his wrist. Jake said, “Maybe if you’d raised your voice and hand a little less and listened a little more, your wife wouldn’t be walking out on you right now.”
Gideon grumbled at him under his breath but didn’t yell.
Jake turned back to Clara. “Is there anything I can do to get you to stay, Mom? You’ve been a rancher’s wife all your life, I’d hate to see you give that up.”
Clara laughed and then smiled adoringly at Jake. “You are such a sweet boy. You always loved this life and you’ll likely love it until you die. But I was here for my family, nothing more. You boys are all grown up, you don’t need me anymore—”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. You don’t need me here all day every day wasting away and cooking your food. You can hire someone for that. And I won’t be going far. I’ll still be your momma who loves you. I just can’t finish out my remaining years this way. You understand?”
Jake was clearly doing his best. His brow was furrowed with the effort to understand. He even nodded. “Yeah, I just…I wish I’d known you were unhappy.”
“I’m not sure how long I’ve been unhappy. It’s snuck up on me. The self-pity, the feeling of being walked over…it’s been gradual. But now that I see it, I can’t live with it anymore. Gideon?”
Her husband frowned up at her, ten years added to his face. He grunted.
“Do you have any questions? Anything you want to say?”
His arms folded over his chest, he looked away. She was dead to him same as Cody and Dallas. And she didn’t have Jake’s strength or the will to do like Jake and dominate the situation. She didn’t want to.
“Do you have a plan?” Jake asked at last.
“I do, in fact. I’ll be working as an office manager at the newspaper. And I’m going to rent Myra’s guest room.”
“Myra? As in Myra the Mouth?” Jake asked, all composure lost. “How could…why would…?”
“She offered. I think she understands where I am and what I’m going through. You’ll see someday, when you get to a certain age, age alone can be enough of a common factor to unite two people. Plus, she’s been married three times. She can help me through this.”
Jake sat back and shoved his hands through his hair, clearly baffled by the whole thing. “Okay,” he said slowly, almost as a question.
“It’s the right thing for me,” Clara assured him.
He nodded blankly. Gideon got up and left out the back door. She’d try to talk to him again later, once he’d had time to process everything. There would be things to say to each other. Goodbyes that wouldn’t be as easy as she wished. But for now, she let him go.
Jake sat in silence, clearly stunned.
“Son?”
His eyes focused on hers. “Yeah?”
“I want you to take this ranch from him.”
Instead of surprise, what she got was a hardening of the lines in his face. He nodded. Clara had expected him to react in surprise or question her, but her boy was wiser than she’d given him credit for. “He’ll lose it if I don’t,” Jake said. “Cody ain’t coming back. I wouldn’t want Dallas to come back. Boone will work, he’s got nothing else going. But still, the workload’s gotten heavier and without you, someone’s going to have to manage the money.”
“Your future wife perhaps?” Clara couldn’t help asking.
Jake’s lips started to turn up. “My future business partner. Not sure she’s gonna wanna marry me. Not sure I want her to end up like…” he stopped.
Clara sighed. “Oh, honey, she won’t. She’s nothing like me. She’s like her mother who would never have let herself be used up like this. It’s why I like her so much. She’s good for you.”
Jake got a faraway look in his eye as he nodded. “She is good for me. I hope I’ll be good for her.”
“You will be, I have no doubt. Perhaps you’ve learned something here? Perhaps seeing what you’ve seen the past few weeks will help you in the future?”
He met her gaze again and nodded. “Yeah. I think so.”
They ended on a hug and with Jake taking charge of the plans for packing and moving her things.
Jake found his father at the woodpile splitting logs. It was where Jake would have gone if he’d just found out his wife of forty years was leaving him. Hard work helped you sweat out the bad feelings.
Gideon didn’t acknowledge Jake’s arrival. He just hefted the ax, swung it over his shoulder, and slammed it into a split log. He was old, older than his years, and his body was weakening, but there was still power in his muscles.
Jake leaned against a nearby fence post and folded his arms over his chest. The afternoon was balmy with a warm breeze and a sky full of cumulus clouds floating by. “Did you see it coming?” Jake asked.
Gideon didn’t answer. He leveraged the ax out of the log, swung again, and split it completely this time.
There wasn’t any point trying to get Gideon to talk about his feelings. Hell, he probably didn’t even have feelings. So Jake went straight to business. “We’re gonna need a cook. I don’t know the first thing about cooking, and neither do you. The Gleasons got that daughter, Angie, she’s seventeen. She might work for the summer until we find someone more permanent.”
Gideon placed another hunk of wood on the stand and swung his ax again.
“And we’re gonna need someone to manage the bookkeeping. Might have to hire someone from the accounting firm where Joann Richie works. It’ll be an extra expense, though. Then we’ve got Cody leaving, so there’s pros and cons to that. Reduces our expenses. But increases our work load. I’d like to try and see if we can do without him before we go hiring another hand.”
Gideon slammed his ax into the dirt and spun around, his face twisted in rage and pain. “My wife just left me!”