It's a Green Thing (17 page)

G
et a load of this.” Caitlin held up a bright orange poster announcing Nick Stark was performing at the benefit concert next weekend. It was a little past three when she'd shown up unexpectedly at Jacqueline's.

“Very cool,” I said as I studied the screen-printed poster. The image of my dad was an interesting style, but it was definitely him with his wire-rimmed shades and close-cropped hair.

“Can you put up a poster here in the shop?”

“Of course,” said Jackie as she emerged from behind the counter. “We can put up a couple if you like. One on that window, and another over there might be nice.”

“Great.”

I introduced Jackie to Caitlin, and they both went on and on about how great it was that Nick Stark was coming to town. Okay, I tried not to look too distressed over this. Because really, I'm fine with it. Still, it makes me nervous when people start to gush.

“When's your lunch break?” Caitlin asked me.

“You can take it now, if you like,” said Jackie. “Business is pretty slow at the moment.”

“Are you sure?” I said.

She smiled. “Positive. Go and enjoy.”

So I went with Caitlin to get some lunch. Fortunately, Marissa wasn't coming by today. And I wouldn't see Dominic until after work. We got our food and found a table in a quiet corner of the food court, and as we started to eat, Caitlin brought up Dominic. “I just dropped a bunch of posters at his house. He's going to spend the next few hours putting them up.”

“Cool.”

“Then he said he's got a big date with you.”

My cheeks grew warm. “He's meeting me here after work. At eight. We're going to catch a flick, I think.”

“So…how's it going with him?”

“Okay…”

Caitlin smiled. “I think I'll just cut to the chase.”

“The chase?”

“Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you two last night.”

“Last night?” I could hear the pitch of my voice get a little higher.

“Yeah. Josh actually saw you guys first. He said it looked like Dominic was having way too much fun.”

“He said that?”

“Well, just to me. No one else was around.”

“Oh…”

“But I was concerned, Maya. Are you okay with this?”

“With what?” I looked down and forked my cheese ravioli like I was starving.

“With how intimate you and Dominic seem to be getting.”

Okay, I could have lied to her. But I really didn't want to.

“It's kind of bothering me.”

She nodded as she opened her dressing packet and squirted it over her salad. “That's what I suspected.”

“I just don't know what to do about it. I mean, I was about to say something last night right after it happened. But we just drove home in silence, which is another thing that bugs me. But then he was a perfect gentleman when he walked me to the door. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and said good night.”

“That's sweet.”

“Still, I can't pretend that I'm not part of the problem. I mean, I'm sure I enjoy kissing as much as he does.”

She kind of giggled. “That's pretty normal.”

“But I am getting worried that it could go too far. I know what you said about Beanie and everything.”

“Can I tell you another story?”

“Sure.” I nodded in relief. “Go for it.”

So she told me about how she and Josh started dating during high school. “Ironically, I kind of stole him from a good friend.” She shook her head. “Not that I exactly knew this at the time. But I did later.”

“You stole Josh from a friend?” Somehow this did not sound like the Caitlin I knew.

“Yes. It's kind of embarrassing to admit it now, but back then my friend Jenny and I were competing for the same guy. But Josh liked me better.”

“Apparently.”

She laughed. “And I obviously liked him a lot too. In fact, I knew that I was in love—and that was pretty scary.”

“Why?”

“Because we were so young. Oh sure, we thought we were old at the time. I was seventeen. He was a senior. Even so, I knew we were too young to be that serious. Plus I had made an abstinence pledge to God, and I was determined to keep it. But dating Josh put my pledge in serious jeopardy.”

“Meaning you and Josh thought about having sex?”

“What I didn't know back then was that Josh had already had sex…with his previous girlfriend, Jenny. Later on, Josh told me that had set him up to expect to have sex again. With me.”

“So what did you do?”

“Well, after some pretty steamy dates, I knew that God was telling me it was time to break up.”

“You broke up with Josh?”

Caitlin slowly nodded. “Yes. And trust me, it wasn't easy.”

“Was Josh hurt?”

“Well, I tried to explain my reasoning to him. I told him that
I took my abstinence pledge seriously and that dating him was not helping. And although Josh wasn't happy about the breakup, he told me years later how much he respected me for doing it.”

“And obviously, you didn't break up permanently.”

“Obviously.” She smiled. “But after I broke up with Josh, I realized that I didn't want to continue dating anyone.”

“Because you loved Josh?”

“Because I loved God.”

I watched her, and I knew she was telling me more than just words. She was talking about her heart and her convictions, and these are things she takes very seriously.

“I knew that to continue dating would probably put my relationship with God at risk, as well as my vow to save sex for marriage. I'd seen up close and personal how difficult it was to maintain a healthy relationship with Josh. And he'd be the first one to tell you—or anyone—that his hormones were like a wildfire, and he'd also tell you that I did him a huge favor when I broke up with him.”

“But you did get back together?”

“Not until my senior year in college. By then we'd both grown up a lot. Josh had started taking his relationship with God seriously. He'd gone to Bible school. And when we finally got back together, well, I can't even tell you how thankful I was that we'd done this right.” She sighed. “I'm not saying that we didn't have problems or that everything was easy. But doing it God's way has made a huge difference in our marriage.”

I sighed. “Well, I have to admit that when I see you guys together, it seems like you have a really great relationship. Probably the most solid marriage I've ever seen.”

“Thanks to God's help.”

There was a long pause now. We both just quietly ate our food, but I had a lot to think about.

“So what do you think I should do?” I finally asked her.

“I can't tell you what to do, Maya. All I can tell you is what worked for me. And what's happened to others I know. I'm sure you've heard about my brother Ben…and Natalie.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded. I knew that Natalie and Ben had dated and that Natalie had gotten pregnant, but I'd been shocked to hear that they had actually gotten married. Although Nat never spoke of it. Kim only told me because she thought it might help me understand Nat better. And I must admit that I felt sorry for Nat when Kim told me how the marriage was such a mess and that Ben had started drinking and was abusive. Eventually they split up, and Natalie gave the baby up for adoption. And sometimes, when Nat isn't lecturing me about being a Christian, I see the sadness in her eyes and wonder how it would feel to have been through all that as a teenager. It pretty much blows my mind.

“How is Ben doing?” I said.

“He's still struggling. But he rededicated his life to God, and I think, in time, he'll be okay. I think he learned a lot.”

“That's a hard way to learn.”

“Just my point. Life throws plenty of hard things at us, Maya. You know for yourself that's true. So I don't see any reason to go around inviting them in. I have never regretted keeping my vow to wait until marriage to have sex.”

“But wasn't it hard to give up dating?”

“Sometimes. But I still did fun things with guys. And in a way, it allowed me to get to know my Christian guy friends better because they knew what the rules were. It eliminated some pressure.”

I glanced at my watch and realized my lunch break was almost over. So I thanked Caitlin for telling me this.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” she said as we both got up. “I can't do our Saturday session tomorrow. Josh and I are driving over to Brenton for a wedding.”

“I think we just had our Saturday session.” I frowned. “And now I'm getting worried about my date with Dominic tonight. I'm not sure how it will go.”

“Why don't you just talk to him, Maya? Tell him how you feel and what worries you. See how he reacts.”

I nodded and picked up my bag.

“I'll be praying for you.”

Now I'll cut to the chase. I had planned to do what Caitlin said, to talk to him. But suddenly we were sitting in the back row of the theater. Dominic's arm was around me, and then we were kissing. I missed most of the movie. Afterward, I told him that I needed to get home.

“I've got a lot to do tomorrow,” I told him as he drove me back to my car, “to get things ready for my dad's visit.”

So now I'm sitting here writing this, and I feel like I totally blew it. But maybe I can figure it out tomorrow.

I think I've been allowing my busyness to distract me from dealing with a couple of problems. I will write down my problems, just to keep me from forgetting them altogether. Not that it's likely to happen.

1. I need to figure out how to forgive Brooke Marshall.
   

2. I need to be honest with Dominic about my concerns.
   

But at least I've been praying about both situations. And eventually I'll know what to do about them, but I'm in no hurry. In the meantime I'm working either at the boutique or in the garden, which I want to get perfect. Or else I'm helping with the fund-raiser or organizing my dinner party where I'll introduce Dad to my friends. And then I have to get my column turned in to Uncle Allen on Wednesdays. So life is pretty busy. Or else I'm just using all this as an excuse. Time will tell.

Another distraction popped into my life today. Caitlin called me and asked if I could do something to promote the benefit concert.

“Sure, what?” I asked.

“Well, it would be on your day off. Thursday, right?”

“Right.”

“A friend of mine at Channel Five wants to do a quick spot about the concert, and I thought it would be cool to have Nick Stark's daughter do the promotion.”

“Me? On TV?” Okay, I was not liking this.

“Yes. Would you mind?”

“I'm not sure this is—”

“Look, I knew you'd be reluctant, Maya, and that you might give me that bit about wanting to be an average, normal girl. But just think of those kids you'd be doing this for. So far our ticket sales haven't been too great. I know it's because we got the posters out late. My news friend, Suzy, says that having you on the news could reach a lot of viewers, and the concert might actually sell out.”

“So you're basically guilting me into this?”

“No, but I would encourage you to pray about it. And if you could decide by morning, it would be helpful. If you don't do it, I'll go in. Of course, I'll have to cancel a counseling appointment to do that and—”

“Fine, fine,” I said quickly. “I'll do it.” And really, I told myself after I hung up, it couldn't be any worse than modeling. Then I remembered Marissa's advice: “Get over yourself, Maya.” And so I will.

I did the news spot this morning, and it was actually kind of fun. To my surprise it was much easier than modeling.

“You're really good at this,” Suzy told me after we wrapped it up.

The camera guy nodded. “She's a natural.”

“Thanks,” I told them. “I just hope that it sells some tickets.”

“I'm buying two,” the camera guy said.

“So am I,” Suzy said.

I laughed. “Four tickets—we're on our way.”

“We'll run this spot on the news tonight,” Suzy promised. “And I'll talk to the station manager about running it as a public service announcement for the next couple of days.”

“Great,” I said, thanking them again.

“Thank you!” Suzy said. “You made my job easy.”

And so, when it was all said and done, I felt pretty good about how it all went this morning. But I didn't feel so good when I left the studio. I realized that it was located on the other side of the hill where Brooke lives. I remembered how I'd driven over to her house on another day off, a day not so different from today. I was so enraged when I saw her. Naturally, it seemed justified to me. But it might've felt different to her. And to be honest, I can't remember exactly what I said to her. I know I shouted. But so did she. Still, Caitlin's right. I need to do whatever it takes to forgive her. So I actually started to drive up her street, but then I lost my nerve, turned my car around on a cul-de-sac, and headed home.

I just could not make myself do it. Maybe I need to pray some more. Also, and this is the truth, I'm still a little ticked that she hasn't apologized to me. Didn't her dad promise Mr. Bernard
that she would? Of course, maybe Brooke, like me, is simply waiting for the right moment…or maybe she's waiting until an apology might actually be sincere. Who knows?