It's a Waverly Life (9 page)

For three days, I ignored it. I also ignored everything else. I don’t think I’d ever gone so long without talking to McKenna, although she may not have noticed given all the life changes she was dealing with. Andie was at a conference in San Diego. So I’d basically been holed up in my apartment, eating chocolate and hoping it wasn’t true.

On day four, I checked the calendar again.

Ten days late.

I was never late.

This is not good.

Could I really be pregnant? I put my hand on my stomach to see if it was any bigger. Then I looked at my boobs. Still small.
Actually, that part would be pretty cool,
I thought for a moment. Then I smacked my forehead and told myself to get a grip.

It was time to find out.

I zipped up my fleece and grabbed my keys. Next stop, Walgreens. I just hoped I didn’t run into Nick in the checkout line. Maybe he could buy me a shirt that said Knocked Up and Single.

As I walked down Fillmore Street, I wrapped my arms in front of me. Given the situation, I couldn’t help but notice my bare left ring finger. Regardless of what Scotty had said about my heart, the truth was that I
was
single. There I was, on my way to buy a pregnancy test, alone. Jake was probably on a plane somewhere over Indiana or Illinois or Iowa at the moment, clueless. His ignorance was my fault, of course. I hadn’t returned his last call, not sure what to tell him, or even how to tell him. What would he think? Would he be as freaked out as I was? Would this make him run for the hills?

After making my purchase, I headed back up the street to my apartment, staring at the sidewalk and holding the Walgreens bag so tightly that I thought the plastic might melt into my skin. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Please, God, I know I never go to church, but please, don’t let me be pregnant.

“Well hello there, Miss Waverly.”

The sound of his voice stopped me in my tracks.

Please, God, please also don’t let this bag be see-through.

I raised my head and smiled.

“Hi, Red. How are you?”

He stopped walking, then took off his fedora and bowed his head slightly. As always, he had a newspaper tucked under his arm. “I’m wonderful, Miss Waverly, just on my way to volunteer at a soup kitchen.”

“A soup kitchen? What do you do there?”

“Whatever they need me to do.”

“How did you get involved with that sort of thing?”

“Oh, I’ve been helping out at soup kitchens for years now. It started when I struck up a conversation with a newly homeless man—in line at Starbucks of all places. He’d lost his job and had no family to fall back on.”

I titled my head to one side. “If he was homeless, why was he spending his money on Starbucks coffee?”

Red smiled. “He wasn’t, my dear. He was in line to request an application for employment.”

I blushed, embarrassed at my assumption.

“It sounds simplistic, but sometimes even a smile can make a difference in someone else’s life,” Red said.

I nodded as I stood there, impressed not just by his kindness, but by his wisdom. I wondered how my life would have gone if my dad hadn’t been there for me, however dysfunctional our relationship. At least we
had
a relationship. I knew he was always there if I needed him.

“You’re a good person, Red.”

He bowed his head. “Just doing my part, Miss Waverly. So how are
you
?”

Talk about a loaded question. “I’m good.” I squeezed the Walgreens bag.
Ha.

He narrowed his dark brown eyes. “You sure, my dear? You look a little…anxious.”

I swallowed. “Just trying to work through some writer’s block. Did I tell you I write a newspaper column?”

“You did indeed. You know I’m a word man myself.” He patted his newspaper. “So you’ve got a tangle of thoughts bumping around in that pretty head of yours but don’t know how to straighten them out?”

“Something like that.”

He didn’t speak for a moment, then slowly tapped two fingers to his temple. “You know, Miss Waverly, sometimes you just have to let things happen.”

“Let things happen?”

“Exactly. Loosen your grip, and things will work themselves out. It’s like my crossword here.” He held up the newspaper. “I find if I’m patient enough, the answers eventually come to me.”

“Do you think so?” Suddenly I felt like crying. Were we talking about my column? I certainly wasn’t. I held onto the Walgreens bag.

“Have faith, Miss Waverly.”

“Thanks, Red, I’ll try.”

Suddenly a breeze stirred around us, and I wrapped my arms around myself to stay warm.

“It’s interesting, isn’t it?” he said.

“What is?”

He turned his head, and my eyes followed to a storefront that was boarded up.

“You can look at this as someone’s failed dream, or as the chance for a new dream to take flight. It’s all in your perspective,” he said softly.

I stared at the vacant building. I couldn’t even remember what used to be there.

He took his fedora off again and pointed up the street with it. “Now get yourself back inside to get warm, my dear. I don’t want you to catch cold.”

“Okay, Red, thanks. It was…it was nice running into you.”

He bowed his head again and smiled. “Always a pleasure, Miss Waverly.”

When I got back to my apartment, I put the cotton balls away and set the pregnancy test on my kitchen counter.

Should I take it and then call Jake? Or should I call him and then take it?

I didn’t know what to do, but one thing I did know was that I didn’t want to be pregnant. Not yet, maybe not ever.

I thought about what Red had said.

Things will work themselves out.

I contemplated the box on the counter.

Red was right.

First I would tell Jake. Then I would take the test.

I pulled my phone out of my purse and called him, but it went straight to voicemail. This was no time to call McKenna or Andie first. I had to leave a message.

“Hey, Jake, it’s me, Waverly. I think you’re in…Phoenix? Salt Lake City? I swear I’m going on NBA dot com right now. Anyhow…I’m sorry to have been a little MIA lately, but…um, I’d like to talk to you about something. Please give me a call—thanks. Um…I hope the Hawks are winning, wherever you and they are. Bye.”

I hung up the phone and cringed. I was the worse voicemail-leaver ever.

Jake called me back that night. When I saw his name on the caller ID, I thought of the unopened pregnancy test, still sitting on the counter. I took a deep breath and answered.

“Jake, hi.”

“Hi.” His voice sounded…off.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called you back in a few days.” I immediately felt like I was going to cry. “I’ve been a little stressed out. How are you?” I sat on the couch and curled my legs underneath me.

“Actually, I’m not so good. I have some bad news.” He didn’t sound angry, just…sad.

“Bad news?”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again.

“Waverly…” His voice trailed off.

“Yes?”

“My…my sister lost her baby,” he said quietly.

Oh my God.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Oh my God.

Finally I was able to speak. “Oh Jake, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“She woke up in the middle of the night bleeding, a lot…so Tim called an ambulance…” His voice cracked a little bit. “And when they checked on the baby…there was no heartbeat.”

“Oh my God…I…I don’t know what to say. Is she okay?”

“She is now. She lost a lot of blood and is really weak, but she’s going to be fine.”

I didn’t say anything.

“It was a boy.”

I still didn’t say anything.

“She told me they were going to name him Jake,” he said softly.

Suddenly I started to cry.

“I’m…so…sorry,” I said, catching my breath and wiping tears from my face with my free hand. “I’m so…so…sorry.”

“Thanks. I am too.”

“When did it happen?”

“Three days ago.”

Three days ago.
And I didn’t even know because I hadn’t returned his last call…for three days.

“Oh Jake, I should have called you back earlier. I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back.”

“It’s okay, really.” Again, he didn’t sound angry. Just sad, very sad. And tired.

“I really wish I could be there with you right now. I wish I could…give you a hug,” I said softly.

“Thanks.” Then he sort of laughed. “But then again, do you even know where I am right now?”

I winced. “Phoenix?”

“Nice try. Try Cleveland.”

“I mean Cleveland?”

“That’s better.” He laughed…sort of.

“I’m so sorry, Jake. Really, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it. So you said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Oh no.

I wanted to tell him, but this was hardly the time. I couldn’t do that to him.

“Um, it’s nothing important compared to what you’re going through right now. We can talk about it another time.”

“You sure?”

“Definitely.” I looked up at the ceiling. “And I…I was wondering if maybe…if maybe I could come see you sometime soon?”

“You want to come see me?”

Please, please say yes
.

“I mean, I mean, if you want me to.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, so I spoke again.

“I’d…I’d really like to see you.” I’d thought those words a billion times, but I couldn’t believe how hard it was for me to say them out loud.

“Waverly, you know I want to see you too,” he finally said.

I exhaled, and I could feel myself smile.

“Okay, I—”

He interrupted me. “But…I need to focus on my family right now.”

I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach.

“Oh, of course…of course you do. Of course you do.”

“I have nonstop travel with the team for the next couple weeks, and then I’m taking a leave and flying up to Boston at the end of the month. My mom’s headed up there now, to help with the girls when Tim’s at work, and I’m going up for a few weeks to help…to give my mom a break. Natalie’s still really weak, and she’s pretty torn up emotionally, too.”

I nodded into the phone. “I can only imagine how hard this is for all of you. That’s…that’s really nice of you to go and help out.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

I kept nodding into the phone but didn’t say anything.

“Listen, I’ve got to try to get some sleep, okay? I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow,” he said.

“Sure, of course, of course.”

“I’ll call you, okay?”

“Sure.” I wiped a tear from my cheek.

“Okay, then, I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for calling.”

“Jake?”

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Me too.”

I think we both knew we weren’t talking about his sister anymore.