It's Always Darkest Before the Fridge Door Opens: Enjoying the Fruits of Middle Age (9 page)

And as we prayed, the true Christlike actions of these two young girls began to bear fruit. The results were nothing short of miraculous.

We’ll let the local newspaper tell you more.

Garrard Touched by Community Support

Hundreds attend benefit in memory of Daniel Garrard, that includes one big surprise

An Evening of Music, Humor and Hope turned into an evening of triumph on Sunday night as hundreds turned out in support of the Garrard family. And, in a move that was known about by only a select few, not only was money raised to support Terra Garrard, but a van from Cochrane Dodge turned out to be a part of the night. ‘‘They called me and my family on stage and said they had a little gift they wanted to give me,’’ said a still emotional Garrard on Monday. ‘‘They handed me a little bag, and inside were the keys to a van.’’ For Garrard the support was ‘‘overwhelming.’’
2

What the paper didn’t report is that during the next few weeks, Terra couldn’t stop asking questions. But instead of ‘‘why?’’ she began asking ‘‘Who?’’ Who could be behind people loving her the way they had? Who could be there to comfort her in her lonely hours? Who could make all the pain she was feeling ever go away?

As Terra struggled with grief, she began to wonder if what she had seen in Katelin and Amy was worth having for herself. She began reading the Bible that Liz had given to her. On one of her most difficult days, she called the pastor to say, ‘‘I need to talk to you, now!’’ Arriving at the church, she asked Pastor Jason to introduce her to Jesus. Jason grinned. Nothing would please him more.

Ask Katelin and Amy what effect this has had on them, and they’ll grin, too. For they have seen God at work. And whenever we see what God is doing, despite our doubts, despite our weaknesses, despite our pain, we can’t help but be changed forever.

I (Martha) once received a letter from the aunt of a young
Brio
magazine reader who was putting together a book for her niece, Anne Farris, on what the meaning of
success
was. She was writing to different people, asking them to write a response before compiling all the letters into a booklet for Anne.

I answered the letter, saying that I thought the meaning of success was being in the center of God’s will for your life. A short while later I received another letter. It was a thank-you note from Anne, saying what my letter had meant to her. As I started to put the note back into the envelope, I noticed something else in there. I pulled it out. It was Anne’s obituary. Anne had died suddenly while running laps. She was only fifteen years of age. When I wrote to the address on the envelope, I said how sorry I was to hear about Anne’s death. Anne’s mother wrote me back and asked me if I had ever considered writing a book for teens on dealing with death.

I ran the idea past my publisher and we broadened it to include divorce, death of different family members, death of a pet, moving away, and other kinds of losses. It was called
Saying Goodbye When You Don’t Want To,
and it is filled with letters from people, young and old, who have had grief in their lives and how they got through it. I think both Anne and Daniel would be pleased to know that through their tragic deaths, so many others have been and are being encouraged and reminded of God’s unfailing love.

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action
by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.
Charles Lamb

To do the useful thing, to say a courageous thing, to contemplate
the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life.
T. S. Eliot

¹
We’re not mentioning the name, but it’s right there beside the yogurt place on Third. Just kidding.

²
Cochrane Times,
May 16, 2005.

PART THREE
Chill First,
Then Serve
(You Can’t Be a Smart Cookie If You Have a Crummy Attitude)

Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but fat cells live forever.
Gord Robideau

So much of life is about attitude. Do we wake up each morning saying, ‘‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’’? Or do we wake up and say, ‘‘This is the alarm clock that Wal-Mart has made, let us send it sailing out the window and be glad it’s gone’’?

We can either go through our day looking for things to go wrong, or we can look for things to go right. The title of this section is ‘‘Chill First, Then Serve.’’ It’s about the importance of maintaining a good attitude. Sometimes before we can serve others, we first need to learn how to chill, go with the flow, adapt, and be the one who, win or lose, can always be counted on to have a smile on our face.

Last Nerves

Most people are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln

How many times have you found yourself on your very last nerve? You’re not really sure what your daily allotment of nerves is, but one by one they have been getting killed off, and now that you’re down to your last one, you feel it’s only fair to warn everyone within earshot, ‘‘I’m down to my last nerve!’’

You wish you could have given them an earlier warning, sort of like what they do with tornadoes, and have a siren go off, but we humans tend to run out of nerves so quickly, it’s hard to know when we’re on the last one. With tornadoes, the weather service can tell where rotation is happening in the clouds, and they can warn people accordingly. Nerves are a little trickier. People get on our nerves in so many places and situations throughout our day—at the mall, in rush-hour traffic, at work, at home, even in church. And without a chart telling us exactly how many nerves we’re using up with each encounter, how can we possibly keep a good tab on how many we have left? That’s what the world needs. A nerve chart, like one of those gas gauges on a car that will show you exactly how many more miles you can go before you run out of gas. Think of the frustration we could save ourselves if a chart like this was in existence. Well, we’re tired of waiting for someone to come out with such a chart, so we have developed our own. . . .

Nerve Depletion Chart

The above list isn’t by any means complete, but we hope it gives you an idea of how quickly our nerves can get depleted throughout the day. It’s no wonder most of us are already on our last one by noon. Thankfully, there are other events we encounter that scientists believe can actually replace those beaten-down nerves.

Nerve Replenishment Chart

The apostle Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:4–6 to ‘‘Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.’’ Did you notice that Paul said that we are to rejoice
always
? Is he kidding? Rejoice in the middle of what I’m going through? No way!

Yes way. How could he say that? Because he’s been in those difficult places, too. In fact, Paul was writing these words from prison, where he had every reason to be on his last nerve. Yet he chose to focus on three irrefutable truths for the weary and worn down. Three truths that can bring joy, peace, even laughter to our lives, in the midst of our circumstances.

1. Rest in peace.
Your Father is awake. Why should you be, too? He has promised that we will never have to walk through our disappointments, hurts, and frustrations alone. He will be there. So we can close our eyes at night and get the rest we need.

2. Worry is a waste of good time.
You know what they say, worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it will never take you anywhere. And what’s the cure for worry— prayer. God hears us when we bring our anxieties to him. So quit biting those fingernails. God didn’t intend for fingernails to be food.

3. Be thankful.
Joy grows best in the soil of thanksgiving. Even when you’re down to your last nerve, even when life is unfair, even when no one understands where you’re coming from, even when you’re being lied about, God has a way of sending nerve replenishers into our lives. People who counter every attack, every discouraging word, every hurt, and every disappointment. We won’t always recognize them (nerve replenishment often comes from people we don’t even know or expect anything from), but these stealth encouragers are secretly and steadily rebuilding our stock of nerves so that we’ll be able to face another day. God sends these nerve replenishers into our lives at just the right moment.

Another good way to replenish our own nerves is to go in search of those who could use some nerve replenishing from us. You can’t help rebuild someone else’s nerves and not have a positive effect on your own.

And then, with a restored nerve system, when our tie gets caught in the paper cutter, we’ll still be able to find something to be thankful for. At least it wasn’t our tongue.

What do we live for,
if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
George Eliot

Empty Shelves

It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Steven Wright