It's Just Lola (45 page)

“Not bloody likely with a birthplace like Dublin.”

“
Oh, yeah?  They wouldn’t
think an Irish Catholic might
have a beef with England
?
” 
Wulf
laughed bitterly.  “
I’m just glad the war
’
s over and the nightmare
’
s behind us.” 

For
over
a
year
Lola had
walked around with an empty place inside
her
that fill
ed
up with pain whenever the other men came home. 
How could
she put it behind her
? 
Her thoughts were interrupted by the return of the children.  She looked at
Wulf
’s face when he
sat
Estela and Joseph on either side of him and settled Carlota on his lap.  Her eyes misted over at the naked emotions on his face.  How could she feel sorry for herself when he had suffered so much more than she had?  He
’
d been shut away without the warmth of the sun on his face or a breeze through his hair, without the touch of a loving hand.  She
’
d always had her children and the friendship of Maggie and the rest of the household.  If he could put it behind him,
then she had to do the same.
 

Wulf
had changed.  It wasn’t just the gray in his hair.  His expression looked hard somehow, emphasized by the lines around his eyes and mouth.  She was grateful and happy to have
Wulf
home, but the pointlessness of their suff
ering made her want to scream.
  It wasn’t until
the new child within her began to flutter
that
Lola stopped looking back and began to look forward again. 
Wulf
, she realized, had been more changed by his experience than he appeared at first.  His love was more intense and passionate than when they first met. 
At his insistence, she left her part-time job. 
He
was
by her side
every second w
henever he was in port
;
he couldn’t bear to be away from her.

He loved the children with a ferocity that
alarmed
her.
He worried over skinned knees and got indignant over their tales of slights or injustices at school.
  Joe and Estela stopped talking about school, and only Carlota continued to
t
ell
him
her problems as well as her triumphs.

“You
going for groceries
?”
a
ske
d
Wulf
.  At Lola’s no
d
he
told her to wait while he changed clothes.  Pedro
pu
lled
Estela toward him
and hooked her arm through his
.  “Come on, honey, let’s get the groceries
so
Uncle
Wulf
can
stay home and
comfortable
.” 

Suddenly
Wulf
was
standing over
Pedro
,
h
is face red with anger.  “Take your hands off my daughter.” 

Lola leaped for
Wulf
as
he raised
his hand to strike Pedro.  She grabbed his arm and hung on with all of her strength.  “
Wulf
,
w
hat
’
re you doing?”  Pedro and Estela were frozen
with fright
. 
“
They’ve grown up together.  She’s like his little sister. 
She’s just a child.
”
 

“Just a child?  How old were you when she was born?” 

Lola had no answer.  She suddenly saw how much Estela resembled her.  Exactly the same age she
’
d been when she met Rudolfo
, y
es, she was a child, but
not
too young to inspire passion in a young man.  She determined to watch Estela carefully—and to warn her of the dangers of men in general and
Wulf
’s anger in particular.

The biggest change in
Wulf
after his return, however, was not his quick and frequent bouts with anger—it was in his feeling for the sea.  He hated the sea
as
intens
el
y
as he
love
d
his family.  He hated leaving them to go to sea,
but
he was compelled to the sea to support his family.  The birth of his son, Herman
Wulf
, Junior nearly drove him mad
between
his need to be home and his need to earn a living.  His anger at the twin forces pulling him in opposite directions always lay beneath the surface of his tenderness, and the sea called him with a siren’s song he could not long ignore. 

L
ola stood with her arms wrapped tightly around
Wulf
.  His fists were clenched at his side and she saw tears of frustration in his eyes. 
She
felt the hard tense muscles beneath his shirt.  As he moved to embrace her, a tremor ran through his body.  She
’
d never felt so helpless.  The owners of the ship had decided it would be more profitable for them to use the vessel on other shipping lanes.  They would no longer come to Lima or any other South American port.

“
T
here must be vessels that
will
come this way,” she
said
.

“
F
inding a berth isn
’
t easy a
nymore
. 
Now that
all
the
navies
are
set loose it’s devilish hard to find anything. 
We were lucky o
ur
captain gave
me
back
my
job.  We can’t take a chance on losing that.  You should see the men that haunt the piers, hoping for a berth whenever a ship docks.”

“Then we
’
ll just have to move to San Francisco,” Maggie said with calm practicality.

“No!” Pedro shouted.  “I won’t go
.
 
I
t’s easy for you
‘cause
you
grew up there and
speak English.  For me it
’
ll be a whole new world.  I won’t know where I am, or what people are saying.”  He stomped out of the house.  His words echoed inside Lola and she felt them touch her own thoughts.  Pedro reacted with anger; Lola felt only fear.

That night
, with her arms around her tortured husband, she
said
what she had to
say
, knowing her tears were soaking through his shirt.
  “I
’
ll follow you always
.
”
This time there would be no coming back.
 
Lola held her sorrow close to her heart, and tried to tell the children what a wonderful opportunity it would be for them. 

Estela was afraid
;
Joseph was sullen.  When Pedro
came home and
announced that he had hired on as an apprentice in the telegraphy office, Joseph had been wide-eyed with envy.  Even he had to admit that an eleven
-
year
-
old boy could not stay behind.  Lola couldn’t even share her fears and worries with Maggie.  Maggie was brokenhearted when she realized she would have to leave her eldest son behind.  She didn’t say much, but her red-rimmed eyes told of secret crying sessions and sleepless nights.

Only one problem remained: money for their tickets.  The men left every bit of their pay and promised to send more, but they all knew the families had to pay for living expenses until they left.  Lola arranged a meeting with Juana and Charlie.

“Charlie, those are my stock certificates and I say that it
’
s time to sell them.  I need money
now
—a lot of money.  I told you, my husband can
’
t come back to Lima. I have to take my family to the United States.  He
’
s waiting in San Francisco for us and I have to go to him.  What
’
s so hard to understand about that?”

“Lola, I hold those stocks in trust.  Do you know what that means?”

“Yes.  It means you w
o
n
’
t steal them because they belong to me.”

“It means a lot more than that.  It means I
must
act in your best interest.  Not only will I not steal them, but I
’
ll do what
’
s right for you
—and i
t
’
s not right for you to sell them now.”

“Money
’
s not something to
hoard
; it
’
s something to use.  Money has no value except as a medium of exchange.  I wish to exchange the money that can come from these stocks to buy my family’s unity. 
That
’s
what has value—family and happiness.”

“Lola, darling,” Juana
said
, “think about what you
’
re proposing.  You want to travel alone, with all your children to another continent.  Why do you want to follow that sailor around the world?  Go home to the plantation where you can live like a lady.  Papa was very upset when he lost you.  You know he loves you and your children, at least the ones he knows.”

Lola stared at her sister.  “
A
re you saying
t
hat I should desert my husband
and
take his children away from him?”

“He
’
s the one leaving you.”

“Juana, I love my husband very much.  He loves me and he loves all of the children.  Why do you think he stayed on the ship?  Because that
’
s his profession and that
’
s what he needs to do to care for his family.  I find your suggestion…”  Lola stopped herself before she said what she really thought of Juana’s suggestion.  “…insensitive. 
A
s soon as we have the money we
’
ll leave.”  She turned to Charlie.
 
“What must be done to sell the certificates?”

“How much money do you need?”

“Fifteen thousand US dollars.”

“
Fifteen thousand dollars! 
Are you
buying
a yacht?”

“I
’
m taking my friend Maggie and her children as travelling companions, and we
’
ll need money when we reach San Francisco.  If there
’
s some left over, I can put it in a bank.  Sometimes
Wulf
’s tours are longer than he plans, and we run short of funds before he gets home.  I w
o
n
’
t have the same resources there that I have here.”

“Very well,” said Charlie.  “I have a compromise for you.  I
’
ll advance you fifteen thousand dollars of my own funds, and when the securities are sold we
’
ll separate the original cost; I
’
ll get fifteen thousand and you
’
ll get the remainder.  Then we split the profit evenly.  That will compensate me for the money I would
’
ve made if I
’
d invested the fifteen thousand, and it still safeguards your interest.”

“No.”

“No?”  Charlie seemed surprised.

“I
’
m asking you to sell them today, not the day I handed them over to you.  If you refuse to sell them and use your own money, then you lower my investment by fifteen thousand dollars from the price they are the day I receive the money.  We split the profits on the same ratio your fifteen thousand has to the total.”

Charlie laughed.  “You drive a hard bargain, Lola, but I accept your terms.  The money will take a few days.  I need to send to Ecuador.” 

It took much longer than Lola could ever have anticipated for them to actually set sail for the north.  Charlie had trouble collecting enough cash to satisfy her needs; Maggie had trouble settling the house; Lola had trouble getting the travel documents for all her children and was unable to get permission to take Katie with them.  There were no passenger liners running between Lima and San Francisco, only freighters.  Ships did not come every day, or even every week.  The first ship sailed before they were ready to leave; the second was a small freighter without sufficient cabins to house them all, and so it went.

At last they were aboard
a
ship.  Lola stood at the rail with her children as the ship pulled away from the dock, and she knew she would never see her beloved home again.  She looked over at Estela and saw a mirror of her own tear-streaked face.  She put her arm around her oldest daughter and held her close.

“Everything
’
ll be all right,” she assured the girl.  “We
’
ll have a new life.  This is a beginning, not an end.”  The words came easily, unlike the belief in their truth.

The second day at sea Carlota announced that she would no longer answer to her old Spanish name.  “We
’
re going to the United States and we
’
re going to live where everyone speaks English.  We have to speak English too.  Joseph
’
s been called by his English name for years, so why can’t I?  I
’
ll be Charlotte now.  That
’
s what my English passport says.  From now on you must all call me Charlotte.”  Lola suppressed her desire to laugh, and looked very serious as she asked her daughter to be patient if it took her some time to get used to the new name.

“All right,” said Estela, “then I
’
ll go by my English name, too.”  She laughed as she looked around the table.  “Even if you don’t remember, I
’
ll still answer. 
Changing Estela to Estelle is
a lot easier than having a whole new name.”

“Charlotte
’
s not a whole new name.”

“Maybe not, but it sounds a lot different.”

Much to Lola’s relief, although she was nauseous much of the time, she was only really s
ea
sick two days.  Estelle was a great help and Maggie was able to make sure the other children were all right during her periods of malaise. 

Finally the captain announced that San Francisco would be seen off the starboard bow—as soon as the fog lifted.  Joseph told his mother he was going to see if the sailors would let him climb up to the crow’s nest.  Lola smiled and told him to be careful.  His spirits had lifted from sullen to enthusiastic during the voyage.  His disgust at travelling with women and girls had amused the crew, and his ability to speak and understand the lingua franca of the sailors had earned him a place at their table, where they filled him with tales of San Francisco and places beyond. 

As the big ship maneuvered into its berth, Lola combed hair and straightened clothing.  Her heart lifted as she looked at her children.  They were all well-behaved and remarkably attractive—enough to make any man’s heart swell with pride.

“Remember to let Nellie go first,” Lola
told
Charlotte.  “
She’s still
small and
may
need to be carried
.
  I’ll be carrying Harry.
” 
Lola wanted Nellie to go first because
she was
Wulf
s’ own. 
T
he look of hurt disappointment on Charlotte’s face
tore at Lola’s heart
as she
realize
d
that Nellie was the only one of her five children with even a vague memory of a natural father. 

Sad thoughts were soon swept away as they caught sight of the bear-like figure of the bosun, flanked by
Wulf
, who looked small only in comparison with
his friend
.  The two men were waving frantically and their grins
were visible
from the rail of the ship.  As the gangplank was lowered, the two men approach the ship and there was a spirited exchange, complete with hand gestures and much pointing.  The bosun and
Wulf
were given permission to board the ship to
assist
their families to disembark.  Lola was certain that was not standard procedure, but she was pleased. 
Wulf
ran up the gangplank, stooped down to child level, and gathered the entire clan in his arms.  What a good man he was
. 
Wulf
shepherded the children down the gangplank, walking with one arm around Lola and the other holding Nellie on his shoulder. 

Charlotte suddenly froze, clutching the rail and looking straight down.
 
“I can see the water between the boards!” she screamed.  “I’m going to fall in!”

“Well, my big feet can’t slip between the boards,” said
Wulf
.  He handed Nellie to Estelle and scooped up Charlotte, perching her on the shoulder that had been vacated. 

“
I
’ll
take you where you
’
ll be staying, and come back for the trunks,” he shouted over the hubbub of activity that surrounded the ship.  The bosun ran ahead and by the time they reached the street there were two black automobiles waiting for them.  The children were beside themselves with excitement at riding in an automobile.  They had seen them often enough, but this was the first time they were going to ride in one.  Even Lola felt excited at the prospect.