It's Not Cheating (8 page)

The workweek was entirely normal. Evelyn Error-face was
gone, moving on to another location to stomp her disapproval.

Hotty-Totty Tina didn't act so Hotty-Totty anymore and I
regarded Ben's absence with a mixture of regret and indifference.

If he really needed to get married, then he had to do what
he had to do. I would miss the kisses, but I respected his commitment to
Cheryl. I would miss the other stuff, too. Knowing now that I had made such a
huge prudish fuss over nothing, I felt like I had missed out. What had been fun
could've been fun before, but Ben and I only kissed for a week.

Big deal and no big loss. I liked him and really liked what
happened when I thought I had failed. But was it a huge loss? No. The big loss
for me was the years of self-inflicted cheat-shot wounds. I was so
narrow-minded that I ignored my husband. I ignored everything he told me. The
loss was the understanding I might have had with him, even if I never kissed
anyone.

The guilt was replaced by shame. It made me feel stupid and
like a little kid.

My work did not suffer.

At home on Monday, I resolved to face my barrier, if any of
it still remained. I felt it was gone, but like some demon sneaking back in,
might it have returned?

I sat down at my husband's home office computer and booted
it up. I entered his password: e!izaBeth1975. When all that was done, I clicked
into his dirty folders. He had one marked "Favorites."

I watched his videos. Or tried. I was on my third one when
he walked in.

"Hey now, don't be deleting my vids."

I smiled up at him. "I wasn't; I was watching
them."

"What? Get out." He loosened his tie.

"Really. Watched these two here."

He leaned over. "Ah, you're in my favorites. Are you
going to vomit or something?"

I laughed. "Um, no. I wanted to see what was so
exciting about these."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I didn't like the first one. The guy seemed too
fake. All tanned and hair done. Yuck."

"I liked the wife in that one."

"Still didn't like it. The guy annoyed me. But the
second one was very nice."

He leaned again. "Ah, yeah."

"It's just two people, not like your others here.
What's the story on that one? Why just two people?"

"Oh. That's the best man doing the bride a couple weeks
after the honeymoon. The husband is filming."

I sat stunned. It had been absolutely hot, making me wet
watching it. "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Wow, so that could've been Dieter filming Rolf and
Heidi…"

He chuckled. "Heidi is almost white-blonde. I saw her
picture."

I pouted. "I haven't."

He waved at me. "Move and I'll show you."

I got out of his chair, feeling a worm coiling in me
thinking about the second video. "That was the best man?"

"In the second? Yeah." He was typing, changing
screens to his business email.

"It looked like the wife was gone." The memory of
her moans as the best man drove his cock into her echoed through my head.

He grinned up at me. "Yeah, she had a lot of fun in
that. I think she likes the best man." His email came up and he clicked a
folder, then an email. He clicked the attachment. "There she is. Rolf,
too."

Heidi and Rolf were leaning up against a railing – trees in
the distance behind them. The sun shone in their faces. Both were waving. Heidi
was almost white in the hair, but the blonde-white. The laugh lines were deep.
Her eyes were squinted in the sun.

Rolf was not as handsome as Dieter. He had a half smile on
his face, but his brows were drawn down – as if he was worried the person
taking the picture was doing it right.

They were leaned together, but not obscenely so, just
comfortable.

I said, "Wow."

"What?"

"That's really Dieter's wife?"

"Mm hmm. He really misses her."

"And Rolf did her on her wedding night?"

"So I understand."

"She looks so normal." I imagined the woman in the
picture moaning and clutching Rolf's shoulders – his butt humping between her
legs. I opened my mouth in a silent pant.

He swiveled his chair to look at me. "You mean, sort of
like all the couples I showed you on the net?"

That made me stop, knowing I had reverted to my previous
disbelief. "He must really miss his wife."

"His citizenship will be another few months, if I
recall. He's anxious to bring Heidi over."

"What about Rolf?"

"I don't know, I never asked."

"Poor Dieter."

He touched my arm. "He's very lonely."

He's such a nice man.
Why couldn't immigration to
America be easier?

~ ~ ~

Saturday, Dieter came over again.

I was happy to see him. I gave him a hug at the door.
"I saw Heidi. She's beautiful."

His face softened. "Ja, I miss my lovely."

I pulled him in. "So we're drinking and tubbing
again?"

"Only if you sit with me again. If no, I fly back to
Germany."

I giggled. "I promise."

He gave me a gentle and brief hug. "You are a special
woman, Elizabeth."

Derek was grumbling. "You just came over to feel up my
wife." His look was amused.

"Ach, no! Am I fired again?" He clapped both of
Derek's shoulders.

I coughed and said to my husband, "Don't be mean to
him."

Derek grinned. "You should see what he pulls at work.
What a jokester."

Dieter was nodding. "Well, so, maybe I behave more in
the house."

~ ~ ~

After dinner, I came out to the tub in my bathing suit.

Dieter was looking me in the face. "So beautiful. So
very lovely."

I blushed. "Stop it."

"I would not lie."

"Thank you."

Derek came out with the tray and set out drinks. We had
already had three.

I was feeling numb and very happy.

Dieter beckoned.

I stepped down into the water and sat in between his legs. I
leaned back as his arms encircled me and I sighed.

"Mmm? You like sitting with me?"

"It's nice."

"How do you do now with your feelings?"

"About all the things you told me?"

"Ja."

"Much better, I think."

"Good, good. Such a beautiful face should not carry so
much worry and fear." One of his hands came up and stroked back my hair.
It felt good and I closed my eyes. I felt him lightly kissing the top of my
head. Tingles of warmth spiraled through me, raising the hair on my arms
despite the bubbling heated water.

I felt myself drift as Derek and Dieter talked about some
customer of theirs.

He's so nice. He holds me and kisses my head. He strokes
my hair…
Ben never did those things. Not like this. Not with tenderness.
Ben had been considerate, but not attentive. Almost as if he was as nice as he
needed to be to kiss me.

Though the barrier was gone and hadn't returned, something
new clicked in me at the thought. Something deeper and more meaningful. I had
gotten so much enjoyment out of Ben because why? The kissing was nice. Had it
been that I knew the kissing could lead to more? And that skirting my fine line
of cheating was the fun in it all? The teasing of my own inhibitions?

My eyes popped open.
I'm drunk. I'm sure this won't make
sense tomorrow.
But the idea stuck with me.
Had I been tempting myself?
And then torturing myself with all the guilt and restrictions as some sort of
masochism?

I reached over and grabbed my drink. No, I wasn't drunk,
just happy.
If I can grab my glass, I'm not drunk.

Dieter said into my ear. "Elizabeth."

A shiver ran down my spine at the sublime tenderness with which
he called my name.

"Hmm?" I swallowed the gulp I had taken and set my
glass down.

His German accent was soft. "May I kiss you?"

I twisted to look at him with searching eyes. Not searching
with suspicion, but with surprise. "Well, yes."

"You would like?"

I smiled slowly and it grew wider until it showed my
happiness. "Yes, I think I would."

He shifted to the side and twisted to face me better. His
eyes searched mine as he moved his head closer.

Our lips met. His kiss was different than Ben's. More full in
the lips, his mouth met mine softly. Sound receded in my ears as I closed my
eyes and felt the delicate exploration of his tongue.

His hand stroked my hair back and caressed the side of my
head. He broke the kiss. "So very lovely."

I smiled. Did he really think so? I wanted to hear more. Or
kiss more.

His eyes twinkled that striking blue. "Another?"

Derek was smiling and raised his glass.

"I thought you'd never ask." I moved out from the
bench and climbed onto his lap, facing him, straddling his waist.

His smile brightened.

I put my arms around his neck and we kissed again. It wasn't
like any of the super-charged kisses Ben and I had shared at the end. No, this
was nice. I felt so very comfortable sitting in his lap.

His hand drifted lazily up and down my back, as if stroking
a cat. I loved it.

When we broke the kiss, I didn't get off. I just laid my
head on his shoulder, my face turned into his neck. We hugged each other like
that for a long time.

"Elizabeth?"

I mumbled something and lifted my head.

"Elizabeth?" It was Derek.

"Hmm?"

"You fell asleep. We're getting ready to get out."

"Oh, sorry."

Dieter chuckled. His speech was slurred. "Seems so long
since I had such a beautiful woman sleeping in my arms."

My husband helped me up. He said to Dieter, "Take the
guest bedroom. We have a fully stocked bathroom in there. If you need to go
home early, you can slip out. No big deal."

"Home? Empty. Maybe in a few months."

"Stay the night then. Don't go out driving."

"I can drive fine."

Derek's voice grew more serious. "I'm not kidding.
Stay. If the police pull you over and smell the alcohol, you might throw off
your immigration."

"Ach. Fine. Are the polizei really that bad here?"

"With drunk drivers, yes. It can be a felony."

"Scheisse. Ja. Fine."

I went into the house, still reeling from being mostly
asleep. I had been so comfortable on his lap.

In bed, Derek joined me. "That was nice of you to kiss
him."

I hummed. "Poor guy. He deserved a good one."

Derek leaned over and kissed me. "Thank you, that was
very nice of you."

I smiled. "I guess I fell asleep."

He chuckled. "I got a picture of it."

"What? Why?" I sat up a little.

"Not just for me. He asked me."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, he's going to send it to Heidi."

"Oh my god. No."

"What's wrong?"

I clutched at the sheet. "I don't want her thinking I'm
trying to steal him or anything."

Derek laughed. "Calm down, ma'am."

"What?"

"She knows all about you."

"She does?"

"Yep. He sent her a picture I had given him and they've
shared emails about you."

"About me?"

"Yes, you."

"Oh. And she was okay with whatever he said?"

"I don't know. I suppose so. You'd have to ask him. He
said she thought you were beautiful."

Thoughts of Rolf fucking Heidi in her wedding dress flashed
in my mind. Had that really happened? Dieter had seemed so serious when he said
it did.
They think I'm pretty? And he loves his wife and even shared her on
her wedding night? What planet did I grow up on? Am I really the backwards one
here?

Derek touched me. "Elizabeth."

"Huh?"

"He's lonely in there. Why not go give him a nice kiss
and hug goodnight?"

"Me?"

"Well, I'm not going in there."

I wanted to laugh, but fear kept it back. "What if he
gets mad and throws me out?"

He shook his head. "Why are you afraid? He held you for
almost two hours, stroking your hair and face."

It made me want to cry. "He did?"

He nodded slowly. "The entire time."

"Are you trying to suggest I do things?"

He lifted up on an elbow. "You don't have to do
anything. I suggested a hug and kiss. Go try it. Do what feels right."

"Are you sure?"

He chuckled. "Go."

I gently pushed open the door to the guest bedroom.

The light from the alarm clock lit a scene that will stick
in my memory forever.

Dieter was lying in bed, his legs flung out, and stroking
his cock.

My mouth dropped open.

Whereas Derek and Ben had wonderful cocks I considered
large, Dieter's erection was impressive.

I approached the bed.

He realized I was there and stopped stroking, though he
continued to grip it. "Hmm?"

I was staring at his cock. It was a smooth shaft maybe nine
inches long and thicker than anything I was used to. The bulbous helmet was
well-formed and slightly larger than the shaft. "I, uh, came in to see if
you wanted another kiss. And maybe a hug?"

His smile showed blue in the alarm clock light. "Ja,
lovely. That would be wunderbar."

I took that as a yes.

He scooted aside, giving me space to climb in.

I got in bed next to him and leaned to him. Our mouths
touched and opened.

We kissed and I felt his hand moving on his cock again.

I broke the kiss. "Would you like help with that?"

"Ahh… ja, that would be so good."

I hesitated a second, but then gripped his shaft. It was
very hot. I slowly stroked it for him and leaned back in for another kiss. Our lips
met and he was just as gentle as before.

My pulse pounded in my ears and our breathing melted
together. His shaft flexed in my grip and he moaned softly.

I leaned back up and watched my hand on him. "Do you
like that?"

"So better than my hand, ja."

I giggled.

He said, "Is this what you would do with the Ben?"

"Not exactly. It was a little more teasing, I
think."

"Ah? Like how?"

Should I show him?
"Well, it was a lot of
kissing and we were both naked." I was wearing panties and t-shirt.

"Ja, lucky man."

"Did you really tell Heidi about me?"

"Hmm? Ja. She thinks you are beautiful. She wants to
meet you when she gets here."

"And you really let Rolf have her on your wedding
night?"

"Ja, both of us."

"You liked that?"

He shrugged on the bed. "Ja. It is one of my best
memories."

I was still stroking him. His cock felt good. "So you
really want to see how I teased Ben?"

He chuckled. "As long as I do not have to close my
eyes."

I giggled. Making up my mind, I removed my panties and
stripped off the t-shirt.

Hi sighed, watching me. "So beautiful."

"Oh, stop it."

"I go to sleep alone every night. Only email pictures
and memories of my wife. This is special to me."

I felt good, knowing he thought I was special. I climbed
over him and laid down on his chest up high. My legs were spread on either side
of his. His cock pointed up between my thighs. I scooted back until I felt the
upper side of his shaft touch my pussy. I closed my legs.

He sighed long and loud. "Ja, lovely. Ja…"

Clamping his cock between my thighs and against my pussy, I
began to move my hips up and down. I lowered my mouth to meet his and we
kissed.

I wasn't prepared for the immediate sensations that rode
through me. With Ben, there had been the lust of need and forbiddance. This was
totally different. Gone were the forbidden feelings and thus some of the desperation.
Instead, there was an ease that relaxed me. The ease included comfort and a
form of familiarity that went along with a mutual respect. It was almost as if
we weren't two separate people, but a team.

He moaned happily underneath me and his shaft flexed and
swelled against my pussy.

I climbed up and got off.

"Done so soon?" He sounded sad.

I giggled. "No, change of positions." I reversed
around on him, straddling his chest and facing his cock.

"Ah, ja." He stroked my pussy with his fingers.

I gripped his erection and began working my mouth down over
it. There was no way I was going to get it all in. I stroked the shaft while
sucking. I felt his tongue begin licking my pussy.

A flash lit the room.

I blinked, blinded.

Derek was there, holding the camera.

I said, "Uh…"

Dieter chuckled. "Let him. I need to send some pictures
to Heidi."

"Of this?"

"Ja, she will want to see."

"She'll like it?"

"Ah, ja. She will fuck Rolf like an insane woman."

"She'll be okay with me being married?"

"Of course, as long as Herr Monroe agrees."

Derek growled, "Derek."

Dieter chuckled.

I went back to sucking his cock. I moaned to the touch of
his tongue; it was very different from Ben's method.

I realized then that I felt none of the tension that caused
so much worry. I felt the sexual tension that coiled within me, but at a nice,
leisurely pace. No, gone was the tension of worry about what was proper.

I was free to enjoy the differences between Ben and Dieter.

Whereas Ben had fingered me with one hand, Dieter gripped my
hips over his face with both. He guided my hips in little movements on his
tongue.

His shaft was different, too. It was smooth to the touch,
but veiny. Ben's had been smooth like my husband's.

Dieter had a big, throbbing, veiny cock. If my husband
thought I could do anything with it, he was going to be disappointed. Not only
could I not get my mouth down even halfway, there would be no way it would ever
fit inside me if he had wanted to see the crime.

No, I need to stop thinking of sex as a crime.

The German moaned beneath me, the vibration of his sound
tingling through my clit.

Wow.

The coils of sexual tension in me finally had me squirming -
these were slow compared to Ben. He might have been faster for me than Dieter
to get me there, but I was totally relaxed and enjoying it with Dieter. With
Ben, I was always worried – the corners of my mind laying out the boundaries
and off-limits areas.

I sucked hard on the head. It was huge in my mouth, and felt
like I had stuffed a bowling ball in there. Okay, obviously not that big, but,
know what I mean? It felt big. I jacked his shaft and hummed happily, still
feeling a little sloshed from all the Scotch.

I got up. There was an ache in me that twisted and turned
and drove tendrils of need throughout my body. I flopped down and opened my
legs. "So, Dieter, what do you do to naked women?"

His grin brightened noticeably.

He moved up and then down between my legs.

I spread them open, wide.

He didn't do what I expected.

He inserted two fingers into me and slowly moved them in and
out.

I moaned softly, feeling the pleasure spread like a slow
stain. I moved my hips up and down with his finger movements.

He said, "Wunderbar."

A few minutes later, after he had fingered and stroked my
clit, his mouth came down on me and enveloped my pussy. His tongue immediately
stabbed into my lips.

I moaned, squirming on the bed.

Flashes of light lit the room again.

Dieter drove me nuts. His tongue stabbed into me four or
five times, and then licked slowly up my clit. He repeated it.

I felt the slow, twisting build of that tension within me.
This wasn't fast like Ben. But it was masterful and perfect.

I was sighing. I said, "Wow, you could lick me
forever."

The German chuckled down there. "Ja?"

I said, "Ja."

I felt him leave my pussy. I opened my eyes as he climbed
over me. He was between my legs, his face coming closer to mine and his
enormous cock coming closer to my pussy. I knew what was coming. He'd try, but
I knew it wasn't going to fit.

My legs spread wider on the bed.

Lights flashed.

Yes, my love, take pictures. I'll want to see them, too.

Dieter slowly lowered himself onto me. His muscular frame
felt good. But it was the immediate contact and pressure of his helmet against
my pussy that drew my focus.

Wider than Ben and Derek both, Dieter's cock pushed and then
rested at my opening. It was as if he knew he would have to go slow.

That made me want to cry. I gripped him around the neck and
pulled his head down for a kiss. I loved kissing and Dieter gave me tender
kisses that weren't rife with his own greedy need.

Our tongues explored each other's mouths and I felt the
coils of tension in me increase. My warmth radiated from my body in waves.

I felt the pressure on my pussy increase.

I lifted my knees up and tilted my hips.

My husband sighed. His whisper was shaking. "Oh,
yeah."

My pussy lips parted and the wondrous pressure against my
opening spread through me with tense waves of expectation.

I felt no stress from worries. There was no time limitation.
There were no barriers and inhibitions to my enjoyment. With Ben, pleasure had
come suddenly and evaporated fast. With Dieter, pleasure built in an
ever-increasing slow build of relaxation. I almost seemed to get more excited
by being excited slower.

The pressure against my opening lessened. The attention to
the kissing increased. One of his hands caressed the side of my head. I loved
it.

The pressure slowly increased on my pussy. I felt his helmet
like a solid soft pole against my opening.

I didn't think it was ever going to work.

He gasped, having broken the kiss. "Ja, lovely. So
beautiful."

I felt the pressure against my pussy increase.
He wants
to be in me!
I thrilled to the thought that he thought of me worth having,
but wondered if it could ever happen.

My hole resisted.

His erection pressed.

I moaned, imagining his cock entering me. I lifted my knees
back farther, bringing them all the way back.

Dieter stopped pushing and grabbed his cock. He moved it all
over my pussy, rubbing up over my clit and then sliding down through my pussy
lips. He brought it back up, lubricated now with my wetness, and toyed with it
at my hole.

He grunted, then pulled back completely. I looked down my
body. He was stroking his precum over the head of his cock.

He said, "Ja, we will do it."

I said, "Are you going to fuck me?"

He said, "Ja, if you allow it. I want to be in
you."

I pulled on him. "Yes…"

He put his wet cockhead back at my pussy and pushed. The
helmet pressed against my hole and began stretching it.

I moaned.

Derek panted and I saw the light of the video recording
flash on.

I rolled my head toward him and gasped as the pressure
against my hole increased.

I thought there was no way Dieter would ever get that thing
in me, but suddenly I felt a stretching and the movement of fullness entering
me.

I sighed loudly, exhaling a breath I didn't know I was
holding.

Dieter pushed.

An amazing sense of fullness that left no room for anything
began filling me.

My mouth was open in expected pain. But there was no pain.
It hovered near, but never blossomed into something requiring an
"Ouch."

I knew then that the German man's cock was pushing in. I was
being fucked by a handsome foreigner. And my husband was recording a video.

Instead of feeling like a dirty whore, I felt the freedom to
enjoy what was happening. My husband was right here by the bed. The man
pressing into me had my husband's full approval.

No, there was nothing wrong with this. It was right and
something intimate I shared with my husband – and this man. Thrills of joy
swept up my body. Not only was I enjoying what was happening, but I knew my
husband was, too.

I sighed raggedly and held onto my knees, pulling, opening
my pussy for this handsome German man.

He didn't force. He pushed gently with steady pressure and
then pulled back, lubricating more of his cock with my wetness.

Derek stepped close. "Here, try this." He was
holding a bottle of oil.

Dieter looked. "Ah? Ja, good, good." He pulled out
and took the bottle. He poured a little oil on his cock and handed back the
bottle.

I watched him stroke the oil onto his shaft.

The light for the video recording came back on.

Mmm, yes, I'd definitely want to watch Dieter stroke his
cock more.

The German leaned back down over me and guided his slick
erection back to my open pussy. He moved the fat helmet all over my opening and
clit.

I gasped, pleased with his teasing. I felt my hole clamp in
expectation.
Yes, fuck me.

The push and pressure was followed by the stretching. It
felt very good. It wasn't painful at all – more as if a muscle was getting a
long needed stretch.

My emptiness began to be filled. His cock was sliding into
and past my opening - his big German erection sliding into my married pussy.

I heard myself moan with lust.

Derek was panting.

I looked over. He was stroking his cock, watching us. I felt
more connected to him than ever before. I smiled dreamily at him as my pussy
filled more and more with another man's cock.

A wave of lust overtook me and I groaned as more of Dieter's
shaft slid into me. I pulled on him and panted. "More. Deeper."

He chuckled and looked at my husband. "Ja, I think she
likes it."

Derek laughed low and lusty. "Be easy on her."

"Oh, ja. No worry."

I felt the emptiness destroyed. An enormous fullness was in
me, deeper than anything I had ever felt before. He had stopped.

He pressed very gently now, sliding just a little more into
me. "Ja, I think that is all."

I was panting fast. "So full."

He said, "Almost. But not all of it. I have not known a
woman who could fit all of me in."

Derek was moving the camera, getting better angles.

Dieter said to him, "Ja? I fuck your wife now?"