Ivy and Bean Bound to Be Bad (2 page)

“No,” said Bean. That was true. She didn’t have it. She would never have it again.

Nancy looked at her, slitty-eyed. “Do you know where it is?”

“No.” Who knew where it was by now?

Nancy’s eyes got even slittier. “Have you seen it recently?”

“Recently?”

“Mom! Bean took my yarn!”

Before she knew it, Bean was having to look around her room for her money. (She changed hiding places so often that it was hard to remember where she kept it, exactly.) She had to give Nancy seven dollars to buy new yarn. Seven dollars! Now she only had two dollars and some coins left.

And the yarn hadn’t even worked. Bean had fallen out of the tree anyway.

Bean’s mom was under her desk. She was doing something with wires, and Bean could
tell she wasn’t having much fun because she kept saying, “Oh, for crying out loud!” and “Gee-Zoo Pete!”

“Hi, Mom,” said Bean into the crack between the desk and the wall.

“Oh. Hi,” said her mom. “Hold on to this cord a sec, will you?” She shoved a black wire up through the crack.

Bean didn’t take it. “Only if you pay me.”

“What?”

“Only if you pay me.”

There was a silence. Then Bean’s mom began to back out from under her desk.

Bean started to have a bad feeling. “Sorry,” she said quickly. “I’ll hold the cord for free.”

But now her mom was all the way out. Now she was standing. Now she was glaring. “Did I hear you say that you would help me only if I paid you?” she asked.

“It was a joke,” said Bean. “Just kidding. Ha.”

Her mom was still glaring. “What do you think I’m thinking, Bean?”

Bean sighed. “I think you’re thinking I’m a pain in the kazoo.”

“Right. So what might be a good thing for you to do?”

Bean thought. “Eat only bread and water for a week?”

“Try again,” said her mom.

“Give you and Daddy and Nancy each a big wet kiss?”

Her mother coughed. “Maybe later. Try again.”

“Go outside and play?”

“Bingo.”

Bean flopped down on her front steps. Yikes. Even though it was still morning, the wood was already hot from the sun. Bean’s head was sweating under her hair. She wished she hadn’t popped her blow-up pool. Her mom had said that jumping around a blow-up swimming pool on a pogo stick would pop it. Bean had said it wouldn’t. Her mom had been right. Bean had been wrong.

Bean rested her chin in her hands and thought about that. She had popped her blowup pool. She had been a disgusting bug at breakfast. She had used up Nancy’s yarn. And she had made her mom mad. What if I
am
a pain in the kazoo, she thought. What if that’s just how I
am?
What if I’m worse than all the other people in the world?

Bean jumped up. She wanted to play with someone. Right this minute. She looked around Pancake Court. Mostly everyone was still inside, but there was one kid out. It was Katy, who was six years old and lived at the other end of Pancake Court. She was walking along, pushing a little pink doll stroller in front of her.

“Hiya, Katy,” called Bean. “You want to play?”

Katy stopped in front of Bean’s house. She looked at Bean. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” asked Bean.

“I have to stay clean.” Katy was very clean. Her pink dress was clean, and even her white sandals were clean.

“How come?” Bean asked.

“We’re going out for dinner tonight,” said Katy.

“Your mom’s making you wear your fancy stuff all day?” Bean’s mom would never try that.

“She’s not making me,” said Katy. “I like this dress because then we’re twins.” She pointed to her doll.

It was true. The doll and Katy were wearing the same pink dress.

Bean felt big and dirty. “We could play a clean game.”

Katy thought for a minute. “House?”

Bean hated House. “What about Starving Orphans?”

Katy folded her arms. “House.”

Boy, Katy was a tough cookie. “Fine. House.”

Katy was the mother. Her doll was the older sister. Bean was the baby. Katy was making cookies. The doll was doing her homework. “Now you eat the cookie dough, and I give you a time-out,” said Katy to Bean.

Fine. Bean lunged toward Katy and snatched her imaginary bowl of dough. “Gimme that!” she hollered and threw herself under the camellia bush to gobble it up.

“Oh, you’re a bad girl!” scolded Katy. “You get a time-out!”

“Now I’m barfing on your shoes because I ate all that cookie dough,” said Bean, crawling toward Katy.

“Eew, no!” squealed Katy, jumping away.

“Okay,” said Bean. “I’m barfing on my sister’s homework.”

Katy grabbed the doll. “That’s gross, Bean. I don’t want to play that.”

“Okay, let’s say I have to go to the hospital and get my stomach pumped.” Bean made a sound like a siren.

Katy looked down at Bean. “No,” she said firmly. “You’re not doing any of that. You’re in a time-out.”

Bean looked up at Katy. This game was too much like life. When she and Ivy played House, the house burned down. Bean wished she were playing with Ivy. “All right. I’m in a time-out. See you later.” She got up and started toward the sidewalk.

“Where are you going?” asked Katy.

“Ivy’s. My time-out is at Ivy’s,” said Bean. “Bye.”

“IIIII-VEEE!” Bean shouted into Ivy’s mail slot. “Yoooooo-hooo!”

“Hello, Bean,” said Ivy’s mom, opening the front door. “Care for a slice of cucumber?” She was holding a plate of them.

Bean wanted to say, Are you nuts? But she knew that wasn’t polite. “No thank you,” she said. “Is Ivy home?”

“She’s out in the yard,” said Ivy’s mom. “Go on back.”

Bean walked down the path beside Ivy’s house and opened the gate that led to the backyard. Ivy’s yard didn’t have a trampoline like Bean’s, but it did have big rocks and a perfectly round puddle that Ivy called a pond even though she had to fill it with the hose. Ivy was standing still in the middle of the long, weedy grass. Her arms were raised to the sky, and she had a big smile on her face.

“Are you trying to fly?” called Bean.

Ivy turned to Bean and smiled even bigger, but she didn’t move. “Hi,” she whispered.

“Wave your arms,” advised Bean.

Ivy smiled so hard her eyeballs bulged out.