Jacked (32 page)

I stepped away from him, but he stopped me. “I just told you I do.”

I tried to wriggle out of his hands. “Sounds like you’re still trying to convince yourself.”

His fingers constricted into my arms just deep enough to tell me he was serious. “Go ahead and try to leave if you want to test me.”

The rebel in me tested his hold instead. “What about what I want?”

His fingers relented ever so slightly, but still he didn’t let go. “I know what you want. It’s what every woman wants.”

His arrogance annoyed me. “You think you have it all figured out. Well you don’t. You have
no clue
about what I want.”

He grit his teeth. “Like hell I don’t. The question really is if you’re the one I want to give it to.”

I jerked my arm back. “Well let me know when you’ve made up your mind.”

He snagged my hip and threaded his other hand into my hair, bringing us nose to nose. “You’re not the only one in the middle of a head fuck. Your yesterday was
far
worse than mine, but that doesn’t mean we both can’t take the time to think things over. I’ve never met anyone like you before, Erin. I needed some time to process that. And before that smart mouth of yours hits me with another comeback, how’s this for a final answer?”

I was stunned for all of about two seconds, trying to determine if he’d just given me an admission or a confession, before his head tilted and his lips covered mine.

The messages his mouth conveyed drilled right into my core. It was want and desperate need and unbridled desire mixed with a plethora of unspoken promises all worth exploring.

Adam’s fingers tightened on my scalp while I took every one of his throaty moans and gave back my own.

The need to protect my heart didn’t seem so important anymore as I clutched his shirt in my hands. He was giving me an answer and shutting down my worries all at the same time, making a serious effort to make his point irrefutable.

And that’s when I realized when he was kissing me, none of the senselessness seemed to exist. It was as if he had the power to erase all of the doubts he’d placed in my mind and replace them with the promise of hope.

My mind began to feel cleansed of all its pain and sorrow, allowing me to simply
be
.

I WANTED TO
argue, plead, tell her we were both wrong, but instead I cupped her face in my hand, pulling her into my chest with the other. Her unspoken argument disappeared on a gasp when I let my actions speak for themselves.

I felt off balance. Hungry, confused, twisted up inside. This amazing woman was in my house and mine for the taking, and hell if I’d let another opportunity to let her know it slip by.

She only fought a second, giving me a weak shove not really meant to push me off, before she surrendered and melted into me. I released her lips long enough to wet mine so I could kiss the shit out of her, holding her fast so she’d get my meaning.

She made a few soft whimpers as I tested her willingness with the tip of my tongue. I deepened the kiss, demanding more, needing more,
dying
for more. I drew in her sighs, her tongue, the way her moans curled around my own. I wanted to drink her in, devour her mouth, spend hours getting to know every square inch of her body. I tangled my hand in her hair, branding her memories with my flavor.

Erin’s hand brushed over the day-old stubble on my face, curling her fingertips into the edge of my jaw, doing her own form of branding on me. Holy hell, she had me deep, searing her name all over my bones, owning me inside and out.

I felt like a teenager all over again, getting that all-encompassing rush of excitement from kissing the girl, feeling that strange pressure in my chest and limbs. Arousal also flooded into my cock, indenting it painfully into the zipper on my jeans.

I’d kissed plenty of girls since… but none of them had me panting like this.

Not even…

I palmed Erin’s ass, squeezing out the memories of that other female as quickly as they came in to spill their poison on this moment. The wind gusted outside, sending a frosty haze of white crystals across my front window, but it didn’t matter, because inside I was burning up. Erin, however, quivered in my arms.

Our lips rested as our breath blended into one. Her hair was all tangled around my fingers.

“I wanted to do that since the first night I met you,” I whispered quickly, taking her mouth again. Getting to feel this much from just kissing someone was worth the risk of having myself gutted if it didn’t work out.

Never before had I felt this passionately connected to someone.
Never
.
This woman was stripping me of my self-protective shields one by one, wiggling her way past my defenses.

“I thought you didn’t—” Erin managed to say before I cut her words off with my tongue, letting my overwhelming desire for her answer her questions.

She whimpered again, wrapping her tiny hands up the back of my shirt.

“Spend the day with me,” I said on her mouth, unwilling to separate us that far.

Her hands did a slow slide up my back, grazing her nails lightly over my skin. “You really want me to?”

I scraped my teeth over her top lip, sucking on it, thinking about kissing her like this for the next twelve hours, at least, while she scored my skin with her fingernails. “Most definitely.”

She tore her mouth away and gasped, leaving me out of breath. Her chin dipped down. “I wish… I wish you would have knocked.”

I pressed my lips to her forehead to keep our connection, guessing she still doubted my intentions. It was frustrating, but I tamped it down, knowing I had the power to change her perceptions. Girls were always worried about being used, and I suspected Erin was no different in that respect.

I tilted her face up. “Make no mistake; this is me knocking now, okay?”

I locked eyes with her and stared her down until she nodded. “Okay,” she whispered.

I sealed our small agreement with a soft kiss, sensing she wasn’t ready for much more.

Her hand gently closed around mine, wrapping herself deeper.

She tugged on my bandaged hand, raising it up to inspect it. That little crinkle formed between her brows, followed by her disapproving frown. “This should be changed.”

I sighed with relief knowing I’d managed to crack into her tough outer shell. It may have been a small tear into her protective lining, but at least she wasn’t running out of my house anymore.

“Just so we’re clear, all these dark spots are
chocolate.
I had a few cookies last night. They were fresh from the oven and still hot.”

Her brow tipped up. So did one side of her luscious mouth. “Chocolate?”

Just seeing part of her smile return was enough to make me high. “I’m serious. My partner’s wife made them. Stuff melted all over.”

“Well, I need to rewrap it before you get any more food in your stitches.”

Her teasing me was cute as shit, however separating her body from mine was the last thing on my mind. I warmed the edge of her jaw with my mouth. “I’d appreciate that.”

She left out a breathy “okay” before both of her hands pushed slightly back on my arms. A moment of sanity slipped in on top of my thrumming heart, reminding me to slow the fuck down.

Her brilliant blue eyes flashed down my body before a tinge of shock registered on her face. The smug bastard inside me smiled.
That’s right, babe. Check it. I’m hard as a rock because of you.

There was no way I could hide it, either, not that I wanted to. I gazed at her until she looked back up at me, amused that she was so intrigued.

She tugged on her T-shirt and tried to smooth her hair. “I, um…”

Seeing her flustered, her soft cheeks flushed, wearing one sock and a dazed look in her eyes made her even cuter. I took her hand and gave a tug. “Come on.” She followed me back up the steps without objection. By the fifth step I contemplated stripping her bare and messing the bed up even more, see if we could dislodge the sheets, let her feel
exactly
how much I was turned on by her.

But her hand felt so fragile in mine and the weak hold she had on my fingers was enough to tell me she was probably still feeling the aftereffects of a night of binge drinking. I could completely relate to that shitty state of being all too well. The body aches, the sour stomach, the debilitating lethargy. Making love to her would have to wait.

I towed her right into my bathroom and closed the lid on the john, giving her a place to sit.

I don’t know why, but the first thing I noticed when I opened up my linen closet was that fucking box of tampons. I fought the urge to crush the box, squeeze it flat, and get them the hell out of my house. I shoved it to the side. Erin had to have put them back in there because I surely didn’t.

I stifled my curse, knowing she restored things to how they were before she stumbled onto them, as if she didn’t want to upset me or my world.

I pushed some towels over it, searching for my new roll of gauze, knocking over a bottle of hair spray that used to belong to Nikki in the process. It landed on my foot.

Two new bottles of women’s body wash and some other girl products were also glaring at me. I wanted to swipe it all off the shelf, toss it all in the fucking garbage, and eradicate every trace of Nikki from my house. I should have done it sooner, but I resolved that I’d throw it all out later when Erin wasn’t sitting two feet away watching me get pissed off.

“Here’s shampoo.” I pointed, purposely not looking at her, knowing that I’d probably see her disappointment all over again. I set the purple bottle in the shower and turned the water on. “Why don’t you take a shower? I’ll leave some clean clothes on my bed.”

“Wait. What about your hand?”

I glanced back, masking my attitude with a smile, and flashed the roll of gauze between my fingers. “I’ll deal with it.”

I pulled the door closed behind me, getting out of there before I lost my shit. Nikki and I were done. I needed to get rid of her crap. Pronto.

I had thought seeing Nikki’s stuff used by another woman would give me satisfaction, but in reality it turned my stomach, thinking of her lingering memories touching Erin’s skin.

Erin was beautiful inside and out.

She didn’t deserve to be soiled by my past.

She deserved better.

She deserves better from me
.

ERIN CAME INTO
my kitchen with her hair still wet, wearing one of my black ATTF T-shirts and my Temple University sweatpants. My chest started to ache. The shirt was fairly new, but those sweats I’d had since my freshman year. The logo running down the length of her right leg was as well-worn as my memories. Knowing Erin was the first woman I’d ever allowed to wear them gave me a renewed sense of satisfaction.

A ghost of a smile tilted her lips but her lingering sadness was visible, like a heavy weight crushing down on her shoulders, making me wonder if there wasn’t more to her depression than she was letting on. I knew without a doubt I had something to do with her mood, but the loss in her eyes was unmistakable.

I’d lost plenty of people in my life. I’d been through my share of death—friends, relatives, my partner. It hurts, it sucks, it takes a while to get over, but whatever it was that she was carrying was more than that.

I turned the burner off on the stove. This was as good of a time as any to defrost some homemade chicken soup. “You hungry?”

She nodded and pulled out one of the island chairs. “It smells good.”

I slid the sandwiches I’d made out of the pan and sliced them in half. “Hope you like grilled cheese.” It had always been my failsafe meal after a bout of heavy drinking.

Erin was still trying to shield that crescent-shaped bruise under her eye. Her hand covered what wasn’t hidden by strands of wet hair.

It was time to break her of her self-consciousness. I tossed my damp dishtowel over my shoulder, set her plate in front of her, and met her on the other side of the island.

I tipped her face up. “Let me see it.”

She tugged her chin away. “No, just don’t look at it. Please.”

“It’s not as bad as you think.”