Jackie's Jokes
Authors: Lauren Baratz-Logsted
The Sisters 8 Book 4
Jackie's Jokes
Lauren Baratz-Logsted
With Greg Logsted & Jackie Logsted
Illustrated by Lisa K. Weber
Sandpiper
H
OUGHTON
M
IFFLIN
H
ARCOURT
B
OSTON
• N
EW
Y
ORK
• 2009
Table of Contents
Text copyright © 2009
by Lauren Baratz-Logsted
Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Lisa K. Weber
All rights reserved. For information about
permission to reproduce selections from this book,
write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Company,
215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.
SANDPIPER and the SANDPIPER logo are trademarks
of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
The text of this book is set in Youbee.
Book design by Carol Chu.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Baratz-Logsted, Lauren.
Jackie's jokes / by Lauren Baratz-Logsted
with Greg Logsted and Jackie Logsted
p. cm.—(The sisters eight ; bk. 4)
Summary: April Fools' Day is long and hard
for the third-grade Huit octuplets, but it
is nothing compared to the challenges
of Tax Day, through which Jackie
discovers her special power and gift
and learns more about their parents'
mysterious disappearance. ISBN
978-0-547-22668-2 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-0-547-05328-8 (pbk.)
[1. Sisters—Fiction. 2.
April Fools' Day—Fiction.
3. Practical jokes—
Fiction. 4. Abandoned
children—Fiction. 5.
Schools—Fiction.] I.
Logsted, Greg. II.
Logsted, Jackie. III.
Title.
PZ7.B22966Jac
2009
[Fic]—dc22
2008036763
Printed in the United
States of America
MP 10 9 8 7 6
5 4 3 2 1
Annie Durinda Georgia Jackie
Marcia Petal Rebecca Zinnia
For the Douglas gals:
Kaethe, Veronica, and Natasha
Thank you for being the best invisible
pals a trio of authors could have.
Our work is better because of you.
Long live pink frosting!
PROLOGUE
Let's recap.
Hmm ... what's that? You say you don't know what
recap
means?
Oh, dear. First the book is talking to you, and now you're talking to the book. My, but I think you
are
in trouble. Is there perhaps a doctor you should be seeing about that? You know, there are special doctors who can help with all sorts of things.
While you're thinking that over, let me explain that
recap,
which is what I'm about to do, is when a person repeats the main points of something, turning a complicated something into a much clearer something. There are many reasons you might want to do a recap: (1) you might worry your listeners have fallen asleep at some point; (2) you might worry no one was ever really paying attention in the first place; or (3) you might need to remind yourself of all the important points because the story's gotten so confusing, you don't remember where you are anymore, plus you have a feeling something even more important is going to happen soon and you need to know where you've been in order to know where you're going.
I'd ask which reason you think applies here, but you're off seeing that doctor about your little problem, aren't you? So I'll just do my recap now, even if I'm the only one listening. Deep breath. Here goes:
• Eight sisters, octuplets, almost eight, will be eight on August 8, 2008. Named, from oldest to youngest: Annie, Durinda, Georgia, Jackie, Marcia, Petal, Rebecca, Zinnia. Last name: Huit. All with brown hair, brown eyes. Each is one minute older than the next. Each is one inch taller than the next.
• Eight cats, all gray and white puffballs: Anthrax, Dandruff, Greatorex, Jaguar, Minx, Precious, Rambunctious, Zither.
• Magnificent stone home that looks like a castle, crazy rooms, inventions—too bad they don't all work as they ought to.
• New Year's Eve in 2007: Mom (Lucy) goes to kitchen for eggnog, Dad (Robert) goes out for more firewood, neither one comes back. Oh no. This can't be good.
• Note found behind loose stone in drawing room says each sister must find her power and gift in order to find out what happened to Mommy and Daddy. By the way, Mommy is a scientist and Daddy is a model, so you'd think they'd be able to get out of any jam, but who knows this time.
• Eight little girls, home all alone—that can't be good either.
• Annie's power: can be smart as an adult; Annie's gift: purple ring.
• Durinda's power: can freeze anyone, except Zinnia, by tapping her leg three times rapidly and then pointing sharply at a person; Durinda's gift: green earrings.
• Georgia's power: can make herself invisible by twitching her nose twice; Georgia's gift: a golden compact, which she sent back the first time the carrier pigeon tried to bring it. (Note: Carrier pigeons visit the Eights often. This could be important at some point.)
• Each cat has the same power as the Eight that it belongs to.
• Zinnia thinks that the animals understand her and that she understands them. Everyone else has doubts about this.
• Pete the mechanic, good; Mrs. Pete, good; the Wicket, evil; Crazy Serena, crazy; the McG, better than she was.
• The Eights still love Will Simms, and they like Mandy Stenko better than before.
• Carl the talking refrigerator in love with robot Betty. Well, who wouldn't be?
• Location: Could be the States, could be England, could be somewhere no one has ever heard of. All we do know is that the address is 888 Middle Way.
• The Eights find their powers and gifts at a rate of one sister per month, so Annie found hers in January, Durinda found hers in February, Georgia found hers in March, Jackie—
Oh, look. Fancy that: the calendar page is about to turn, and when it does...
Look out, everyone! There's a story coming your way!
Jackie, look out! Your month is about to—
CHAPTER ONE
—Start.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008, approximately five thirty in the morning.
"Annie, Durinda, Georgia, Jackie, Petal, Rebecca, Zinnia—come quick!" Marcia shouted.
Six of us rubbed sleep from our eyes before obeying Marcia's insanely early summons. We weren't supposed to get up for school for another forty minutes. One of the Eights, Jackie, was nowhere to be seen.
We followed Marcia's shouting voice down to the kitchen.
"Look!" she cried, pointing at the window.
"What?" Annie asked. "Is there another pigeon out there with a note?"
"No!" Marcia said excitedly. "Can't you see it? There's a horse's behind right outside the window."
"
What?
"six Eights cried, hurrying to look out the window.
Huh. There was nothing there.
"Happy April Fools' Day!" Marcia gloated with glee.
"Fine. You got us," Rebecca said sourly. "But don't think you can get us again."
"As long as we're all up early," Durinda said, "I may as well start breakfast. Jackie, could you please get me the—Oh dear. Where is Jackie?"
"I can help you with breakfast this morning," Zinnia offered.
"That's great," Durinda said, looking meaningfully at Georgia and Rebecca. "It's always nice when
someone
around here helps out."
"Hey!" Georgia said. "Don't look at me!
I
haven't said anything awful."
"Yet," Annie provided.
"Yet," Georgia admitted with a blush.
"Okay, Zinnia," Durinda directed, "you get the milk out of the fridge—I think we'll make pancakes this morning—while everyone else gets dressed."
Zinnia opened the refrigerator door. The rest of us weren't even out of the room when we heard Carl the talking refrigerator announce: "All out of tasty worms. Must buy more."
"Did Carl just say we needed more tasty worms?" Durinda asked.
Before anyone could answer her, Carl spoke again. "And slugs," he said. "Must buy more juicy slugs."
"Juicy si—? But we don't eat—"
"And slimy caterpillars," Carl said, cutting Durinda off, "and crunchy dead leaves and hairy spiders and—"
"Oh no!" Petal shrieked. "Carl the talking refrigerator has gone mad! If we follow his shopping instructions and then eat all those awful things, we will all be dead by nightfall! We will—"
"Ha-ha," Carl laughed dryly. "April Fools' on you."
"This is insane." Rebecca was disgusted. "We're even being mocked by our own refrigerator today."
***
"That's odd," Marcia said as five of us headed back downstairs after we'd gotten dressed. There was still no sign of Jackie. "Durinda and Zinnia said they'd cook breakfast, but I don't smell anything."
We took our places at the table and looked down at our plates. The pancakes didn't look quite right. Annie was the first to try to cut hers, but the fork wouldn't even make a dent. None of us could make a dent.
"I'm starving," Rebecca said, giving up on the fork and resorting to her fingers. But when she went to take a bite—
"Ugh!" she cried. "This pancake isn't made out of pancake! It's made out of rubber!"
"April Fools'!" Durinda and Zinnia shouted, high-fiving each other.
"I don't think it's very funny," Rebecca said. "Some of us are starving here, you know."
"Oh, where's your sense of humor?" Durinda said. Then, when it was clear Rebecca hadn't any, at least not where rubber food was concerned, Durinda added, "Why don't you have some pink frosting?"
"And why don't the rest of us adjourn to the front room while Durinda makes us all some Pop-Tarts?" Annie suggested. "It's about all we have time for now."
"Oh no!" Petal cried as we entered the front room. Then she fainted.
We all looked around to see what had bothered her so, and there it was: Daddy Sparky, the suit of armor we usually dressed up in Daddy's quilted smoking jacket and fedora hat to make nosy parkers believe there was a real man in the house, was wearing Mommy Sally's sleeveless purple dress and pearls, while Mommy Sally, the dressmaker's dummy we dressed up so people would believe there was still a proper lady of the house, was wearing Daddy Sparky's smoking jacket and hat. We must admit, the corncob pipe in her hand looked very elegant there.