Jaded (27 page)

“I’m here for a lot of reasons.” He reached out for her hand and took it in his; she allowed it. As if on cue, Luke entered through the back door.

Isabella sensed his immediate curiosity. She saw him cast David a wary glance and then his eyes settled on her hand in David’s. The tension in the room skyrocketed and all the tiny hairs on her body stood on end. She focused her attention on David, trying to ignore the way her heart rate had tripled.

“Well, explain,” she said, taking her hand back. “I’m dying with curiosity.”

David sighed, casting his gaze down at the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she was keeping tabs on Luke. He was slowly moving toward the door, and she could tell he was sizing David up. She noticed his fists were alternately clenching and unclenching. She felt dizzy.

“I want to start over,” David whispered. “I didn’t realize how much I’d...let go.”

Isabella stared at him in annoyance. The surprises would never stop coming as long as she vowed to keep men out of her life, she realized. “I’m not dating men anymore.” Her eyes flitted over to Luke, who had stopped at a countertop to examine some blueprints.

“What?”

“I’m done with dating. After you had your little tryst with your secretary, I realized I was done. I’m sick of all the bullshit, David.” Luke’s presence in the room was driving her crazy. He cleared his throat and she wished both of them would leave. She could barely concentrate on what was happening.

“But, Isabella—we had something special.”

“Had.”

“Can
still
have,” he said.

“No.”

“Isabella, I’m still in love with you.”

Her heart skipped a beat, although she wasn’t sure if it was from his words, or because Luke had turned around and was facing her. His eyes settled on her and she could feel his gaze smoldering on her skin. She fought to keep her own eyes focused on David.

“Then why did you cheat on me?”

“Because I was stupid. I didn’t realize what I was giving up...and it only helped prove to me how in love I was with you. She meant
nothing
to me.”

“If you had loved me, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. It doesn’t take deceit and dishonesty to prove to yourself that you love someone.”

He sighed, hanging his head. “Isabella, I can’t live without you.”

Luke, who had been biting his tongue during all his eavesdropping, made a noise of disgust. She glared at him but caught a glimpse of the fire behind his eyes. Apprehension gnawed at her stomach as she began to realize where, exactly, this encounter might end once and for all.

“Ignore him,” Isabella said, waving her hand in Luke’s direction.

Luke shot Isabella a look and glared at David again.

“What’s his problem?” David asked.

“Just ignore—”

“You don’t deserve her.” Luke spoke up, walking up to David.

David was rendered silent as he looked up at Luke’s figure looming above him. Isabella’s heart almost stopped beating.

“Excuse me, who are
you
?” David sat back in his chair, preparing to get up.

“I know what you did to her and
you
don’t deserve her.”

David’s mouth hung open in disbelief. He looked between Isabella and Luke, searching for an answer. “Isabella, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, David. He’s nobody. Forget about him.” She waved her hand in the air again, dismissing Luke’s presence. She couldn’t help but catch the look of anger that flashed across Luke’s face.

“Are you with him?” David demanded, looking hurt.

She faltered, cheeks burning. “Of course not. He just knows about you.”

Luke stormed out of the room, muttering obscenities under his breath.

Isabella felt the landslide of emotion beginning its descent through her body—the tears were coming, the weakness was permeating her body, and she had to get David out of her house. He was only adding onto her pile of emotional turmoil.

David sighed, facing Isabella once more. “I really want to try us again, Issy. I promise, I’ll never do anything like that to you again. A piece of me has been missing ever since we broke up...”

Isabella set her lips into a thin line, trying not to let his words affect her resolve. She had to be strong. She couldn’t be swayed by images of their past love. She couldn’t think back on their slow, sweet lovemaking and tender kisses and early-morning coffee conversations. Besides, David had struck at the perfect time, just when Isabella was most wounded and confused. Oh, god, what if she agreed to it? She’d be doomed.

“I don’t know, David,” she choked out, not knowing how to explain, or even where to begin. “I need time.”

David watched her for a few moments, and then stood. “I understand.”

She stood, walked him to the door, and pulled it open for him, but he wasn’t ready to leave quite yet.

Through the open door she saw Luke standing in the front yard, quietly conversing with another worker and motioning to some blueprints. When he noticed David standing in the doorway, electricity snapped through the air. Luke’s eyes narrowed and he walked away from the worker, approaching them with hands on his hips, cataloguing their every movement.

“Think about what I’ve said,” David whispered, stepping close to her.

Isabella caught his scent once more and her mind was immediately blanketed with safety. When his arms went around her she allowed herself to fall into his embrace. He held her tightly, smoothing his hands up and down her back. Her skin felt like it was on fire; every part of her was buzzing and alive, but she couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or not. She didn’t resist him, though. Maybe she needed a hug in general, or maybe she was doing it to see what might come of it.

Without warning, David brushed his lips against hers in a kiss that froze time. Isabella was rocked to her foundation. His cologne had pervaded her senses, and she felt like she was drowning in the past. Why had he done that? He pulled away and offered a small smile, squeezing her shoulders.

“Bye, Issy,” he said, turning to leave. She watched him walk to his car, mind buzzing with thoughts of David and his kiss. Just as she was watching him drive away, Luke stormed into her vision.

“What the hell was that?” he demanded in a low voice.

She snapped to attention and slapped an annoyed look on her face. “What do you care?”

He huffed. “I can’t believe you let him do that.” His voice broke. A part of Isabella was happy he was so upset.

“I can do whatever I want.” She turned and stormed toward her office, knowing that Luke was staring after her with anger written all across his face. As she was shutting the door behind her, Luke barged in. Just as she was opening her mouth to protest, he pressed her against the wall and stared hard into her eyes.

“I don’t want you to be with him,” he said forcefully.

Isabella had to fight to keep her mind clear. She wasn’t outraged, or even mildly upset. It confused her. She had to be angry at him—it made sense for her to hate him. So why was her heart throbbing in her chest the way it had the first time he’d pinned her to a wall?

“I can’t believe you have the balls to think you have
any
say over what I do,” she hissed.

“You know what he did to you.” His mouth was inching closer to hers.

“I know what you did to me too.”

He was silent as he stared at her, chest heaving as he mulled over her words. “But I was never dishonest with my feelings for you,” he said quietly.

“What cheater doesn’t say that?”

“I’m not a cheater. I’m loyal as hell, which is why you’re not getting rid of me.”

Isabella’s heart twisted in her chest again and she was conscious of the pleasant tingles in her belly from having him so close to her. He squeezed his eyes shut, and it was obvious to Isabella that he was struggling with something deep inside. He opened his eyes again, leveling her with his gaze, and opened his mouth to speak. “I...I don’t know how to say this.”

“Say what?” She knew she should have left by now, but was compelled to stay in his nearness for as long as her rational mind would permit. His heat was welcome, despite how she wanted to push him away and scream at the same time.

He tore himself away from her, paced the room for a moment, and then dashed back in front of her, as though realizing his departure might be an opportunity for her to leave. He took a deep, shaky breath, and his fingertips grazed the outside curve of her hand.

“I’ve never said this before, Isabella. This is hard for me. And I know it’s not the right time, or the right way.”

She narrowed her eyes, hesitant to even conjecture what these words might be from his mouth.

He was almost hyperventilating. He looked up to the ceiling, down at the ground, and then into her eyes. “Isabella, I...I love you.”

The knife that was already lodged in her heart twisted even deeper. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears pressing toward the corners. Instantly, she thought back to their first date, when he confessed that he’d never been in love, not even once, and not even close. There was a frightening cocktail of emotions floating under her skin and she could hardly decide which to settle on first. What rose above the rest, without her even thinking or trying, was that she wanted to say she loved him too. She squashed that thought as much as possible, steeling herself to continue in the most rational, logical way.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say to that. You know what you did, and you know how I feel.”

He sighed. His breath grazed her cheek and she shivered. She reminded herself that she hated him...but why was his proximity still forcing her mind to shut down and all her senses to go into overdrive?

“What I’m saying is, I love you and I care about you. Even if you aren’t with me, I will feel this way forever. And I know what he did to you, I know how it hurt you, and I know what kind of amazing person you are. And he doesn’t deserve you,” Luke whispered, his lips venturing dangerously near to her own. She was lost in the depths of his chocolate brown eyes. He wasn’t making an effort to move, and neither was she. All she could feel was his nearness, his intoxicating warmth. Her eyelids fluttered shut as she willed the kiss to happen. Her mouth was tingling as she waited for his lips against hers.

“But neither do I.” The breath slid out of him and her entire body erupted in pinpricks. She could feel his lips growing closer, so close that she could swear they were touching. The fire between her legs, if it had ever been properly extinguished, came roaring back to life. Just when she thought the torture of his proximity was going to make her go insane, he tore himself away from her. Isabella was left panting, struggling to come to her senses.

Before he left the room, he paused and looked at her one last time. She’d never seen him look so dejected, so deflated. When he was gone, she crumpled to the ground.

David’s nearness hadn’t inspired those feelings in her. So why did Luke make her feel so giddy, so crazily numb to her pain?

She couldn’t deny how she craved him, how he pervaded her dreams and occupied her waking thoughts. But tough luck. Luke was right—neither of them deserved her.

***

Later that day, Isabella was relaxing in her Jacuzzi on the deck outside of her bedroom, struggling to release the tension and anxiety. She still couldn’t get over how much privacy the deck offered, and how much potential the set-up had for long, intimate nights in the Jacuzzi beneath the stars.

She forced that thought from her mind and sank beneath the hot, bubbling water. She didn’t need to be thinking of love and intimacy. What she needed to be thinking about was how angry she was. She’d do well to remember that too. She stayed submerged for a few moments and then broke for air. When she resurfaced, Luke was standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

Her heart leaped to her throat. “Oh my god, don’t scare me like that!”

He smiled sheepishly, leaning against the door frame with a lock of his hair dangling over one eye. “Sorry. Uh...I just came to tell you that...” He trailed off. She followed his gaze to the water of the Jacuzzi. She could tell he was itching to get in.

“What?”

He cleared his throat. “It’s the end of the day. Everyone’s going home. Just thought you should know.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She fiddled with some dials on the Jacuzzi and turned on a jet just behind her lower back.

He lingered in the doorway, eyes still fixed in her direction. “Uh...listen.”

Her heart twisted in her chest. Whenever he started a sentence like that, it meant he was about to say something potentially controversial.

“You think I could get in for a second?”

***

Luke couldn’t pry his eyes off her. She was wearing the most scandalously tiny bathing suit in existence, and the way it clung to her body made his heart rate vault to the sky. He watched as she contemplated his request, hoping to whatever sort of gods above that she would comply. He’d been away from her too long and without her energy in his life, her smile, her words, her laughter, her everything, he felt himself withering. He thought about her constantly, wishing she’d throw him a few words every now and then, maybe even a passing glance. But over the past week, he’d hardly gotten a hello in the morning.

Not that he expected to—really, he couldn’t have imagined a worse turn of events than what had happened between them. But he still craved her, still entertained the fantasy that maybe someday things might go back to the way they’d been between them. This was his chance to be near her, no matter how outlandish the request, if only for a little bit.

“Whatever.”

It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no. Luke tore his shirt off, unhitched his tool belt, and slid out of his pants. He was about to pull down his boxers when Isabella stopped him.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking off my boxers.”

“I see that. Why?”

“I don’t want to go home with wet underwear.”

She fidgeted in her seat and turned her head away. He slipped off his boxers and eased into the water, completely naked.