Jaded Touch (Vesper) (12 page)

Oh, no. The damage was done. I’d broken his heart. I swallowed a surge of rage and another foreign feeling: a scalding ache in the pit of my chest. It rocked my core, and as the lava solidified inside me, I was lost without him. I hadn’t realized how deeply he’d already threaded into my being.

And because of my ignorance, stubbornness, and wrath, I’d broken us into pieces.

I couldn’t bear the sight of his empty street any longer. So I spun and sprinted off into the rain, into the night. I caught a train and slipped into the lounge car. There, I wished I could weep for all that I lost, if I’d only let myself have it to begin with.

But I couldn’t cry, and my stubborn soul refused to release me from my pride. I couldn’t let Jack see my scars. I couldn’t.

Busted

Jack suppressed a shudder as two sets of heavy footsteps pounded across the top of the train.
Vespers.
Exactly what he didn’t want to deal with after his fight with Three that left him devastated and sorry. She was so hot yet so cold at the same time... her reactions to his fingers – everywhere he touched her - betrayed what she wanted, even if she wasn’t sure of her own desires.

I know what she wants.
If only she would let him show her the rough tenderness she craved, and the acceptance she deserved. He could quiet her questioning mind and soothe her worries with just a touch, if she’d stop fighting him thanks to her bullshit programming. Jack knew what she needed. She needed to let go.

Memories of her porcelain face when she did manage to let go – astride him, or with her legs around his face, or her fingertips carving through his arm in the most forbidden ecstasy – flashed through Jack’s mind.
Her moan, her perfect whimpers of pleasure...
He shifted as constriction in his pants distracted him from the moment. There were Vespers above. If he wanted to keep Three safe and secret, he’d better turn off his fantasies and concentrate. He focused on the path ahead, trying to keep his inner panic cool for the sake of the engineer-in-training beside him.

“You ever encountered Vespers before, Theo?”

Theo shook his head and glanced at Jack, his fear obvious by the beads of sweat trickling down his cheeks.

Jack sighed. “Okay. Keep your mouth shut and let me talk. I think it’s two of them.”

“Men?”

Jack nodded. “Call them Gents, not men. Only speak if they ask you a direct question. Address them as ‘Sir.’”

Theo cringed. “Fuck, I hope they don’t talk to me. How do you know so much about what they do and don’t want to hear?”

Because all dominant creatures are the same, inside.
Jack let half a grin show to calm Theo down. “You’ll understand them too, in time, if you stay alive long enough. Now shut up. They can hear you.”

Theo paled and stared back at the track ahead.

The hatch made a loud, slamming sound as a Vesper wrenched it open above. They dropped in without noise as they always did. Jack listened to see who they were: to look back without invitation would surely award him a beating.

“You’re concerned you’re going to be blamed,” Levi said. Jack gulped at his voice. Levi was the most menacing of the Gents, though he was often in a good humor.

Festus, on the other hand, was rarely in a pleasant mood. “Yes,” he said to his younger Vesper brother. “The incompetence of the Maids – and the hoggers, for that matter – makes
me
look incompetent. I swear, Levi, you have no idea the kind of stress I deal with.”

Levi snorted. “Let me help, then. What needs doing? How can we rectify this lack of information about the explosion?”

Jack cringed.
Shit. It’s not a social visit.

Festus’ delight at Jack’s tangible discomfort was a physical presence in the room. “Do you feel like interrogating some Maids?”

Levi snarled loudly at the suggestion – a savage, booming sound - and Jack flinched. Of course Levi didn’t feel like interrogating Maids.
He can’t even stand to be around them, you cruel fuck!

“What’s option B?” Levi asked after a few steadying breaths.

“We find the hogger who survived the wreck and ask him some questions,” Festus said.

Double shit.

“And how simple it is that only one train engineer survived,” Levi said, dark excitement coloring his tone.

“And how fortunate that he’s driving this fucking train as we speak!” Festus’ mirth sent fear spiraling through Jack’s core. His fear tripled when Festus tapped him on the shoulder. “Name, Kiddo?”

“Jack, Sir,” Jack replied without missing a beat.

“You know his fucking name,” Levi snapped. “Let’s get on with it.”

Jack didn’t dare turn to see Festus glare at Levi. “I’ll thank you not to interrupt when I’m interrogating a mutiny suspect,” the elder Vesper said.

Jack stiffened, and Festus didn’t miss his tension. “Oh, you didn’t like those words, did you, Jack? Which one was it: mutiny, suspect, or interrogating?”

Jack gulped, fury coursing through him that the Vesper would speak to him in such a condescending tone. He spun his seat to face his captors, the bosses, and Festus stepped back with an eyebrow cocked at his boldness.

“All of the above,
Sir,
” Jack said. “I have a problem with wrongful accusation, too.”

Festus grinned at the challenge in Jack’s tone and crouched. Levi stepped closer, his dark height and looming authority as frightening as the shadow of his black leather trench coat swirling around his ankles. Danger thickened the air, but Jack stood his ground.

“Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?” Festus took Jack’s hand in his own. Jack flinched at the contact, and Festus flipped his hand over and wrapped a frigid, iron hand around Jack’s wrist, his thumb positioned over the soft tendons.

Jack gulped. “The explosion?” Pain shot through his arm as Festus dug into the soft tissue beneath his palm.

“Yes, the explosion, you fucking moron,” Festus growled.

Jack shook his head and sweat pricked up along his hairline. He wanted to scream at them that he was innocent, that he did the best he could, but the panicked reaction was exactly what Festus wanted. Vespers could easily force the truth from a human. But the pain of interrogation was Festus’ idea of fun, and Levi would stand faithful witness as he always did.

“There were two men and a woman,” Jack rushed as he hyperventilated at the pain. He groaned as Festus tightened his grip, his thumb digging harder between the tendons of his wrist. He searched his brain, pressing back the more important memories of Three, her kisses and taste... “Asian dudes, redheaded chick. Never seen them before.”

“Chick?” Festus feigned confusion, shaking his head. “I thought this was a woman, not a bird.” He wrapped his other hand around Jack’s bicep and pulled on the hand, stretching the joints of Jack’s arm.

“Woman! Woman, please, I’ll talk!” Jack sucked in a gasp at the shooting pain in his joints.

“I know you will.” Festus tugged a little harder and Jack groaned in agony. To fight and pull away would likely break his arm, but if Jack moved forward to release the tension in his elbow and wrist, he would be that much closer to Festus. Jack stayed put, his breath ragged with pain. Levi sighed out loud, clearly displeased with Festus’ method.

Jack’s tormentor ignored Levi’s quiet objection. “You were saying?”

Pressure throbbed in Jack’s elbow as Festus pulled, the joints stretched to their limits without dislocating. “I saw them run away from the track, so I called for brakes, but we hit the bomb anyway. Flipped the train...” Burning blistered through his arm and he let out a yelp, Theo cowering lower in his chair as the train barrelled ahead.

Fuck, Festus! Please!
“I got out, but everyone else was dead. Hacked apart by the redheaded woman’s sword. And then the Maid in the lounge car found me in the ditch where I hid, and she carried me off.”

Festus hummed, and Levi nodded.

Please hear my truth!
Jack’s arm couldn’t take any more tension.

“Which Maid?” Festus asked.

Jack hesitated, and Levi’s face darkened with suspicion in the heartbeat it took for the hogger to conjure up a lie. Lying to a Vesper meant death. But if he told the truth, Three would pay the price for something Jack started.

Something totally forbidden, and totally my fault.

“I don’t know,” he said, forcing calm into his tone. “I didn’t get her name.”

Festus snarled at Jack and shoved hard on his chest at the same time he yanked forward, snapping the joints of Jack’s shoulder, elbow, and wrist apart, dislocating the entire arm.

The pain wasn’t as terrible as the icy, loose feeling that slammed through his body when Festus released him, his ruined arm draping loosely along the floor when he fell. Nausea spun up from Jack’s stomach and he retched off to the side, grateful the sorrow over his argument with Three had left him without an appetite for a couple days.

“Let’s try that again!” Festus climbed over Jack and pinned him to the floor of the confined space, sharp knees bearing down on his chest. Jack struggled, but couldn’t do more than draw a breath beneath the weight.
Shit!

Festus took Jack’s other wrist and pressed on the shoulder, preparing to render his other arm invalid, as well. Jack flinched as the Vesper’s heavy hand brushed over the wound on his bicep, the mark of Three’s fingertips in the throes of their most heated passion. Festus paused.

“You’re injured, here?” Festus poked his shoulder.

No!
“The explosion...”

Festus curled his fingers around Jack’s uniform and shredded the sleeve away, bearing the wound. “You still think it’s smart to lie to us?”

Jack stammered and shook his head.
Three, oh, fuck!
He couldn’t expose her.

Festus fit his fingertips one at a time over the wound in his shoulder; the five puncture marks dragging down his skin, scabs over dark blue bruises. The wound was one Jack cherished, and now would deliver his lover to her doom.

“Name the Maid,” Levi said, his voice light, whimsical, making the situation even more surreal than it already was. Levi, who couldn’t stand even the sight of Maids, wanted the name of the Maid Jack touched... the Maid Jack loved.
Three.

“God,” Jack huffed, pain in both his arms. “No.”

“God can’t help you now, Jack,” Festus said, mistaking his exclamation for prayer. “God abandons all that we touch. And this damage here...” he dug his fingers into the wounds, earning a shout from Jack’s lips, “...was inflicted by our kind. So you, dear hogger, are fucked.”

Jack shook his head, and Festus lost his patience. He slapped Jack across the face, the blow like an enormous, iron palm cracking down on his cheek. A snap reverberated in his brain, and Jack tried to get away, gasping, his fight useless against a Vesper.

Festus’ lips hovered inches above Jack’s, his fangs glowing and dripping with toxic rage. “Name her,” he whispered.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and tried again to thrash away, but failed.

Festus wound up and slapped Jack again, blood spattering across the floor before him. Levi stepped back to avoid the crimson spray on his boots, and Jack cried out, choking, spitting out a mouthful of pieces...
teeth? I have to fight this! I will not betray her!

“Name her!” Festus’ growl reached a roar, and Theo whimpered with terror above them. Festus stroked Jack’s cheek in a way that felt both scolding and sadistic, and settled his palm over his throat.

Jack stiffened. He knew that position meant death. He’d seen it happen before. And if he was dead, there was no chance he could see Three again, taste her delightful, steel-and-magic fragrance when he kissed her, or make her convulse with ecstasy in his arms. He’d never get the chance to say sorry, to beg her again to submit to the control he knew she craved. Would she grieve his death? Or was he such a blink of her eternal existence that she’d already moved on?

No!
Jack knew what he had felt from her. She needed his touch, the love he had yet to fully show her, to heal her inside and out. And she was tough enough to fight whatever trouble would haunt her for breaking the rules for him. Levi and Festus would fail to break her. But to lose Jack to Festus because he didn’t trust her strength... that might leave a scar too deep for her to overcome.

Was it worse to crush her heart with his death, or endanger her life with his admission?

Jack had to trust her strength.

Three, oh, God fucking damn, Three, please forgive me.
He took a deep breath, and exhaled with a whisper of the most piercing terror. “Three.”

“Good boy,” Festus said, rising to his feet. Jack scuttled back against the base of Theo’s chair, his arm still useless on the ground.

What have I done?! Trust her. Trust her to beat this!

“Now,” Festus said, “if you see her before we do, be sure to tell her Levi says thanks. It’s been far too long since he was permitted to rip a Maid into rusted shards of waste. I do hope you get to watch. Levi’s the most impressive fighter we have.”

Hollow ice sank in Jack’s heart, and he stared up at Levi, the enormous Vesper’s growl of anticipation shaking the engine itself.

And then the Vespers were gone in a rush of shadow, and the engine was silent barring the familiar chugging of steel on iron. All Jack could hear was the pounding of his heart. He reached to his chest and clutched at his shirt.

Theo scooted down and helped Jack shift his arm into his lap, the pain of the multiple breaks nothing compared to the agony in his core.

“Jack, man,” Theo whispered. “Son of a fucking bitch. I’ll get you to the hospital.”

Jack shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ve fucking killed her, Theo. I love her, and I’ve killed her.”

Theo sighed. “I know.” He passed Jack a flask, and Jack drained it eagerly. “I’m sorry.”

Jack nodded, Three’s beautiful, terrifying, angry face when he pissed her off in the rain dangling in front of his vision, just out of reach. His rage, fear, and remorse bubbled over, and he lost his breath, the darkness of shock swirling into the edges of his vision.