Jake's Biggest Risk (Those Hollister Boys) (25 page)

Maybe it was too late to protect her own heart, but she still had Danny to think about. He would be devastated if his hero died, but it would be even worse to lose someone closer.

On the other hand, Jake had shown the potential to be a good father, and that was important, too.

“Mommy, do you have a bag?” Danny asked. “I wanna help pick berries.”

She pulled a small plastic bag from her pocket. It was the time of year she always carried them for huckleberries.

He diligently began picking the fruit, and Hannah sighed. One of the reasons she’d tried to keep Jake and her son apart was her fear that Danny would turn out like his biological father if he had a similar role model. But Jake
wasn’t
like Steven.

Hannah pictured her ex-husband. Beneath his charm, Steven was deeply unhappy, though she hadn’t recognized that when they were dating. Perhaps he simply lacked something within himself, and that was what made him restless and discontented. But Danny was a sweet, generous, outgoing kid with love enough to spare. There wasn’t any real reason to think he’d go off, wandering the world, making other people miserable along with himself.

As for Danny having daredevil tendencies, Jake had discouraged
that
in a hurry. She’d been alarmed when Danny had talked about whacking a bear on the nose, but Jake had handled it far better than she’d expected.

Of course, she was probably being ridiculous to think about the future. Jake had made it clear from the beginning that he wouldn’t be here long-term.

* * *

J
AKE
RETURNED
TO
Huckleberry Lodge, wondering if he’d had anything to do with kindling Brendan and Barbi’s relationship. It was possible—he’d thrown them together on at least two occasions.

It was also possible it was the first time he’d ever affected someone’s life enough to make a difference.

The thought was sobering.

Living in Mahalaton Lake was making him see that his world was even more different from other people’s than he’d ever thought. Hemingway had written that most men led lives of quiet desperation, but that wasn’t Jake’s experience. His every memory was of distant places and adventure. Josie had ensured he’d seen the wonders of the world and known freedom like no other child, and he’d charged into adulthood in the same spirit.

Yet he didn’t have traditions or a family whose faces lit up at the sight of him. Instead he had a sister-in-law who was shocked that he wanted to visit her and her newborn son. He had editors waiting for his photographs, yet they probably wouldn’t recognize him on the street. And he had critics who evaluated his work with no idea of what kind of person he might be.

Hannah
was the one involved with her community. She was concerned about the quality of education children were receiving. She cared about the land and animals. And she worked hard to make sure Mahalaton Lake had the emergency services it needed.

Jake stepped out on the deck and looked at the lake. He’d taken hundreds of thousands of pictures, but if he’d died in the crash, other people’s lives would have gone on, little changed because of it.

Still, there
were
people who cared about him.

The MacDonalds had made the effort to visit, while Matt had chartered a flight and rushed him to a hospital in Seattle after the crash. Josie and Sully had each been concerned in their own ways. And three of his sisters—Oona, April and Tamlyn—had dropped everything to visit him in Washington, along with his eldest brother, Aaron.

It was less complicated to live without ties to other people, but he’d never realized how alone he’d felt before coming to Mahalaton Lake and meeting Hannah and Danny.

Maybe he should give Aaron a call and find out if he and Matt still wanted to visit Mahalaton Lake with their families. It might be nice to see them all again.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“M
ORNING
, O
WEN
,” H
ANNAH
said as she hurried into the sunroom on Tuesday. She’d just finished cleaning the lodge and wanted to get back to Silver Cottage to make lunch and a fresh pot of coffee. “I got a copy of the festival schedule for you. It just started yesterday, so you haven’t missed too much. The big events are next weekend.”

“Terrific. We bought the
Clarion
a couple of times so we’d have it, but somehow both editions ended up lining the cat’s litter box.”

Hannah handed him a sheet of paper, glancing at Jake. Louie was lying across the back of the couch, basking in the sunlight from the window, while Jake scratched his neck.

Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship
.

She’d shown
Casablanca
to him the other night and Jake had groaned, suddenly realizing why the name had popped into his brain. Curiously, he hadn’t said anything recently about finding Louie a home.

“I’ll see you Thursday, Owen,” she said, her smile fading.

In her own kitchen Hannah noticed she had a missed call, so she picked up the phone and dialed her parents’ house.

“Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“Not much. I’m baking a gluten-free cake for the Cub Scouts meeting tonight. I’ve got the fried chicken and potato salad you made, but Charlie’s mother called to say he’s been diagnosed as gluten intolerant. She wants everyone to know because Charlie is rebelling.”

“Uh-oh, there’s flour on the chicken.”

“We’re covered. Your dad checked, and Luigi’s has a gluten-free pizza.”

“If there’s pizza, all the boys will want some.”

“We’re getting a couple. They can have salad, pizza, chicken and gluten-free cake.”

“Better get some wings, too. I’ll pay you back for everything.”

“You will not,” Carrie said indignantly. “It’s bad enough you brought the fried chicken and potato salad. You’ve got enough to do without feeding your father’s Cub Scouts troop.”

“I like to do my part.”

“You’ve
done
your part. But I better get going. The kids are sleeping in the fort tonight with your dad, so I need to air out his sleeping bag.”

“Tell him to have fun.”

Hannah started the coffeemaker and quickly made some ham and turkey sandwiches. Sandwiches were the easiest food for when Jake was working—usually he barely noticed he was eating anyway.

* * *

T
WILIGHT
WAS
FALLING
as Jake drove the Wrangler toward Mahalaton Lake that evening. They’d gone to Mount Rainier, but curiously, Jake had mostly looked for places to get more distant photos of Mount Mahala.

Pleasantly tired, Hannah took a sip of coffee from her cup. She loved the long summer days in Washington, though Jake had reminded her that
Alaska’s
summer days were almost twenty-four hours long. It
would
be interesting to experience something like that, but while she’d enjoy seeing other places, she’d want to go home before too long.

“Damn it to hell,”
Jake cursed as two deer suddenly ran in front of the Jeep and froze in the headlights. He braked and veered around them while the lid flew off Hannah’s cup and coffee sloshed over her jacket and jeans.

“Crap.” She grabbed some napkins and dabbed the brown stains. “I thought I’d gotten the top down tight.”

Jake didn’t say anything and she glanced over. His lips were pressed tightly together.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No.”

Yeah, she believed that.

She waited another few minutes, then pulled out the thermos and refilled her cup. “Want some?”

He shook his head and Hannah sighed in exasperation. Men accused women of being moody, but she had news—they were the biggest offenders. And Jake, for all of his unconventional upbringing, wasn’t any different.

“Don’t worry, the coffee spilled on me, not on the Jeep.”

“I don’t give a damn about the Jeep.”

Okay, she hadn’t thought he was obsessed with his vehicle, though some people were, but she was trying to break the tension.

She kept trying to get him to talk the rest of the drive back to Huckleberry Lodge, and her own temper had frayed by the time they pulled in next to the garage. Monosyllabic replies did
not
make a conversation.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hannah demanded, getting out and slamming the door.

“Nothing, but I’ve made a decision. I won’t be responsible for something happening to you, so you aren’t going out on shoots with me any longer.” Jake turned on his heels and stomped toward the lodge.

“Of all the insane... You aren’t making sense!” she shouted after him.

The door of the lodge slammed, only to bounce open again, and Hannah stalked inside.

“Jake, what is your problem?”

“Don’t you get it? We almost hit those deer. Two huge bucks. There could have been an accident.
You could have been killed
. Danny could be an orphan right now.”

The breath caught in Hannah’s throat because Jake’s concern seemed very real.

“We live in the mountains,” she tried to say reasonably. “Deer are always jumping out. It’s one of those things we accept about Mahalaton Lake. We’re just extra careful, especially at times of the day when they’re more active.”

“No. Risking my own life is one thing, but I won’t take a chance on endangering someone else I care about.”

He cared about her?

Hannah crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look stern, even though her pulse was jumping. Saying he cared wasn’t a declaration of love, but at least it was something.

“We’ve
had
this discussion, Jake. People make their own decisions. You didn’t chain me to the SUV and drag me out on the road. I agreed to work with you because I love the Cascades and wanted you to understand that beauty isn’t just something found in remote, exotic locations.”

“That doesn’t change what could have happened.”

“Please, don’t be so dramatic. I’m going to jump in the hot tub to relax. You can join me if you stop acting like an idiot.” She walked past him, pulling off her jacket.

* * *

J
AKE
STOOD
IN
the living room, his fists clenched against a rush of emotions. Nothing in his life had prepared him to care about someone the way he cared about Hannah and her son. She’d been his first thought when the deer had jumped onto the road. Perhaps they hadn’t been in real danger, but it was close enough for him to realize that it would kill him to lose her.

After a moment he hurried into the master bedroom and looked out in time to see Hannah’s silhouette on the deck, her bare body painted in light and shadow. She lifted her arms, twisting her hair up off her shoulders before descending into the bubbling water.

She was deliberately tempting him.

He removed his own clothes and grabbed a condom before stepping out and closing the doors behind him.

“We weren’t done talking, Hannah.”

“
I
was done.”

“Hannah.”

“Jake.”
She stared at him, almost daring him to say more. “I’m the one who’s supposed to fuss about dangerous stuff, not you. Remember?”

She grasped the edge of the hot tub and lifted one of her legs above the surface, turning her foot back and forth as if inspecting it. Blood rushed into his groin, sweeping everything else away. He got into the hot tub and saw a satisfied smile on her face.

“Much better,” she purred, half swimming toward him. “You’re lucky. I was always good at water sports.”

His hands slipped over her breasts, full and slick in the churning bubbles. He was lucky all right.

Damned lucky
.

* * *

T
HE
SUN
WAS
rising, flooding the bedroom with pink light, when Jake opened his eyes. Hannah lay against him, her head on his shoulder and hair wrapped around them both.

He
had
overreacted the night before. Perhaps it was partly from lingering survivor’s guilt, but it had mostly been the blinding realization of just how important Hannah had become to him.

He loved her and he loved her son, and leaving them wouldn’t erase those feelings; it would just make it worse because he wouldn’t be part of their lives.

Perhaps that was what Josie had been doing all these years—trying to escape any pain or sorrow or regret. But he couldn’t escape what was inside him. No one could. And Hannah
was
inside him...she was inside his heart.

Jake gazed out at the mountain standing guard over the lake, its white-crowned peak glistening in the dawn light. Loving Hannah and choosing a life with her would mean changes. And compromises. Whether she’d be willing to make those compromises with him was anyone’s guess. After all, she had Danny to think about, and she was as protective as a mother polar bear when it came to her son.

When they’d met, he’d never expected to find someone with her depths. She loved the land and family and tradition, with a sense of home and place he’d never experienced. She was also prickly and had a quick temper, but that made two of them. They’d fight and make up and fight some more; it was inevitable.

He smiled. They’d made love half the night and he wouldn’t mind picking up where they’d left off, but he needed a fresh supply of condoms. Hannah wanted another baby and he was okay with that, but until she agreed to marry him, he wasn’t going without protection.

* * *

I
T
WAS
AFTER
eight when Hannah woke up and slipped out of bed. Jake was asleep, his morning stubble dark on his face, and Louie lay curled on a fluffy pillow. For a stray, the kitten had developed a remarkable fondness for his creature comforts. Jake was careful about keeping the exterior doors shut, but Louie had shown little interest in the great outdoors—he’d landed in clover and he knew it. He wanted the best tuna, the softest pillow and long snoozes in a sunny window.

She had a stack of huckleberry pancakes made when Jake wandered into the kitchen, wearing a disreputable pair of sweatpants and scratching the scars over his bare ribs.

“Good morning.”

He smiled sleepily. “Good morning.”

“Sit down. Breakfast is ready.”

“I thought I smelled something good.”

Hannah piled the pancakes on plates and brought them over with butter and maple syrup.

“Oh, wow,” Jake said, taking his first bite. “I don’t know which way I like these best. We’ll have to pick a lot of huckleberries.”

“I always do.”

They’d finished eating and Jake was on his third cup of coffee when he shook himself and started looking more alert. “Sorry about last night,” he murmured.

“Which part?”

Jake grinned. “
Not
the part that requires another trip to the drugstore. Mostly I’ve been thinking about us.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I think we should get married.”

Hannah stared. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but certainly not a proposal. “That can’t be what you really want. You’ve had your life turned upside down by the plane crash and everything else that’s happened.”

“You’re right...except for the part about not knowing what I want. If Gordon’s death and my injuries are ever going to be more than just a freak accident, I
need
to look at where I’m headed and what’s important.”

Hannah traced the rim of her cup. “Careful...you’re beginning to sound like someone who believes in karma.”

“Who knows? You’ve made me see that there
has
to be more to life if I can love you and Danny this much. Otherwise everything is just a series of chemical reactions.”

A bubble of hope rose inside of her. She’d been scared of falling in love with someone who’d leave or get killed, and equally worried about Danny experiencing that kind of loss. But that could happen with anyone they loved. And in different ways. Barbi’s father had abandoned life, even though his body still continued, pickled by vodka and memories of his lost wife.

Life was uncertain, whether you worked as a wildlife photographer or taught elementary school. It was just a little
more
uncertain with Jake.

So what she had to decide was whether it was worth the risk.

“I don’t know if it’s that simple,” she said, stalling. “You’ve always avoided relationships, even with your siblings.”

“True, but I’ve realized some important things in the past few weeks. And I think the biggest reason I haven’t gotten close to my family is because I didn’t want them to be hurt if something happened to me. Then something
did
happen, and it turns out they cared, whether I wanted them to or not—even my grandparents, who’d never met me. It just took a while to work it out for myself.”

“How will Josie feel about you being in touch with her parents?”

“I’m not sure,” Jake said, yet his eyes were curiously untroubled. “My mother has some problems. I’ll try to make her understand, but that’s all I can do.”

He lifted her left hand and traced the length of her ring finger.

“Hannah, I finally get it. I don’t have to live the way my mother does, because I’m not her. And I will
never
be casual about risking my life again—I have too much to live for. I love you. I want to be here for both you and Danny and any other children we have, and I want the home I’ve never had. I know that if we both make compromises, we can find a solution with my career and traveling and everything else that will work for us both.”

Hannah let out a breath.

She
did
love Jake.

He’d shaken up her comfortable world and she’d never be the same, but
could
it work between them? Barbi and Brendan seemed to think they could make their unlikely romance successful, and judging by the happiness in their faces, they were off to a good start.

Things were more complicated for her and Jake—especially because of Danny—but not impossible. The fact he’d proposed in the first place showed he’d changed. The Jake Hollister who’d informed her that marriage and family were career enders would never have considered any compromise to his life acceptable.