Jake's Long Shadow (27 page)

You always had a legacy, Jake Heke. Just that it was a bit on the negative side.

Well, now it’s not. And his name’s Gordon, not Mr.

Old habit. I used to sit in that state house looking out the kitchen window at his house before he sold up the land around it that added to Pine

Block. Tell me, is he like I thought he was, rich and happy? He’s not rich. Keeps doing bad business deals. Comes up here for a beer and a shoulder to cry on from time to time. The marriage’s no good, don’t know why they stick with each other. So not happy either. But I like him.

Beth got out of bed. Looked fantastic, her body, for a forty-eight year old. Jake made tea, a silence fell between them. Like saying silently it just couldn’t continue.

As if by summons, Beth’s cellphone went off — like a burglar alarm she likened it to in the instant. Took the call, with pressed fingers to her lips at Jake. He saw the distance between them widening, and they both knew it. She said goodbye to Charlie and I love you. Looked at Jake, caught in a moment of guilt and more guilt.

Charlie wants my help with Rachel. She’s in a state. He asked where I was. I said at a friend’s.

I heard you. Now Jake was making a decision. We should call it quits now, while we’re ahead.

She swallowed, took eyes away, though the room hadn’t much to look at by way of adornment. As he’d said, this was just basic Jake Heke, who wasn’t into home decoration. Though she had noticed the vase of flowers, from several visits ago, and it was always with fresh blooms and not for her sake.

I got a secret to tell you. You won’t like it. (Or will she? This would decide things, show who she really belonged with, Charlie or me.)

Maybe not. But I’ll like the trust, the sharing.

Those vigilantes?

Yes.

I was one of them.

Oh, Jake. Jesus Christ. So you’re not over your violence?

I feel I am. Except when it’s necessary. You bring it out like a weapon if you’re threatened.

But you weren’t involved. You only knew the father of the victim. How is that your fight? Since when were you and your vigilante mob appointed to be the law of this land?

So you agree with your husband?

God, Jake, I be
lieved
you. In you, of the better man you’d apparently become.

He lifted his head, not for a moment feeling ashamed. I am a better man.

What of the innocents who get dragged in? The Nigs and the Abes you might have beaten — again. And the little jakeys, who knew no better, condemned by your version of justice. She took some time of staring at him — into him, it was clear — before she said softly, Sorry. I’m applying my newly acquired moral standards to you when I have no right.

They weren’t innocent. I’d do it again if it was the same kind of thugs. The man I am now would know if I was wrong. And I’m not.

I loved you once, Jakey. Then hated you. Learned to love you again and a whole lot differently. But you’re right, we must call it quits. She turned and headed for the door. In a few moments you’ll be gone.

Me, gone? He found a smile; fighting emotion himself. Not gone. Jake’s got a long shadow, and that’s a cooling one when you’re wanting, what’s the word?

Respite? She’d stopped.

Comfort, too.

And love?

His smile broke some tears loose. He wiped them. Her eyes were brimming over.

(The man throwing the shadow has learned that. Love for himself
regardless
of who and what he was. Love for what I am now.) You go back to a good man, Bethy. And forget I ever existed.

I could never do that, Jakey. We have children, if nothing else.

Been good knowing you, Bethy. Sorry.

You too, Jake.

She smiled and kept on walking.

About the Author

Alan Duff was born in Rotorua in 1950 and now lives in Havelock North with his wife and younger children. He has published five previous novels (
Once Were Warriors, One Night Out Stealing, What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? Both Sides of the Moon
and
Szabad
), a novella (
State Ward
) and three non-fiction works (
Maori: The Crisis and the Challenge, Out of the Mists and Steam
and
Alan Duff’s Maori Heroes
).
Once Were Warriors
won the PEN Best First Book for Fiction Award and along with
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?
was made into an internationally acclaimed film for which he wrote the original screenplay. He works as a full-time writer.