Jalan Jalan (16 page)

We stay there. I am perfectly still while they check me out, eyes flittering up and down my face and body. They take turns to walk up and down the length of the railing, one paw crossing the other as though on a tightrope. I hold out my hand to one of them, it bares its teeth at me and screeches, and then the three of them jump off, two into the foliage and one onto a nearby branch. They disappear up the slope and into the trees. Standing there, looking after them, I'm vaguely aware of a grin across my face. I sit down on a wobbly bamboo chair and wait, watching the jungle, hoping they'll return. I stay there watching my valley, scratching at mosquitoes, thinking of nothing but the beauty that surrounds me and making the most of the absence of others. Of all others.

‘To zoo or not to zoo, that is the question.'

‘Not to zoo.' Laura stands between me and her mother, Jane, while we watch the huge silverback gorilla just three feet from us. The gorilla passes us an occasional condescending glance from his pile of straw in the corner of the enclosure.

‘But if we didn't zoo them they'd be more endangered than they already are,' I say as a toddler-sized gorilla chases another down a slide in the middle.

‘But if we looked after them and didn't take away their habitat we wouldn't have to zoo them.'

‘My daughter, the eternal dreamer and believer that people can be good.' Her mum ruffles Laura's hair.

‘No, I know the human race is an arse, but I just wish it'd change. Just like you do, eh, big boy.' She blows the gorilla a kiss and starts walking off. ‘This place depresses me.'

Her mum links her arm through mine and we start walking while Laura speeds on ahead. Somewhere a monkey howls and a blackbird chirps.

‘If she doesn't like zoos, why did she suggest we come?' I ask.

‘Because she loves getting herself worked up. Haven't you noticed that about her yet?' She looks at me and smiles. ‘I think you've noticed virtually everything about her, haven't you?'

I don't answer but feel my face go warm.

‘How long have you two been together now?'

‘Two months.'

‘A good two months?'

‘The best.'

‘She's mad about you.'

My stomach does a spin. It's good to hear it from someone else. It means they've talked about me. Laura has told her mum how she feels about me.

‘She'll do your head in, though. You know that, don't you. She's done mine in since she learnt to talk. Questioning everything, but understanding everything at the same time.'

She holds me back so we don't catch up with her daughter, who has paused by the capybaras. Laura leans on the railing, chin resting thoughtfully in hands and peachy rear in short white dress stuck out behind her.

‘I lie awake some nights trying to work out what she means by what she says just before she falls asleep. I'm sure she does it deliberately to mess with my mind.'

‘She does.' Jane laughs and surprises me by putting her head against my shoulder. ‘But don't ever try to zoo her.'

‘I wouldn't dream of it.'

‘She'd bite your arm off. You can trust my Minnie Mouse. When she puts her heart into something, it's there for good. Never doubt her and never stop her being her.' She tugs on my arm. ‘Got it?'

‘Got it.'

‘Good. Because she will drive you nuts and there'll be times you want to tell her no, but don't even bother trying, because it'll hurt.'

Laura is skipping back towards us, kicking her legs behind her and hair swinging around her face.

‘Mummy, me want ithe cweam. Pwease can me have ithe cweam?' She stops in front of us and pants like a dog, tongue hanging out. If her mum wasn't here I'd grab it with my mouth.

‘Of course you can, little girl. And would little boy like one too?'

‘Yes, pwease,' I say.

Jane links her other arm through Laura's and we swing legs wide and ‘follow the yellow brick road' to the nearest ice-cream kiosk, before getting happy-sad at seeing more caged, bored animals who must be wondering what the hell life is all about.

HYPOCRITES
AND IDIOTS

I
'm
flopped in the corner of the bar on cushions and leaning back with arms draped over a low rail. Behind me I can hear the river splashing and gurgling as it flows just a few metres below. My legs are out in front of me and crossed at the ankles. I'm wearing light, white cotton trousers and sandals and a batik shirt from one of the stalls. It's airy and cool. I feel relaxed, fresh from another cold shower. In one hand I have a rum and Coke, in the other a joint that's just been passed to me by an Indonesian who asked if he and his friend could join us. Kim is talking to him. Julie is nodding at their conversation and joining in the occasional laughter. Marty and Jussy are playing chess at the next low table along. The darkness behind me is stroking my back while the bar is gently lit by coloured lights and candles. I listen to nothing but the water and the occasional noise from the jungle, crickets and, somewhere over the hills, thunder, as yet unaccompanied by its partner.

I puff on the joint and my head swims. I don't want my mind to wander and I don't really want the joint. I'm annoyed at myself for taking the thing in the first place. Still feel pressured by peers, I must do something about that. I lean across and pass it to Jussy.

I stretch my head out into the darkness behind me and look up into the sky. The rumbling is getting nearer but still no flashes.

‘Big storm is coming,' says the Indonesian who made the joint.

‘Yes,' I say.

‘And I must go to work.' He stands up from his crossed-leg position.

‘Work? What sort of work do you do at night?' asks Kim, who grabs the joint back off Jussy. ‘Pass around, man.'

‘Me? Am policeman.' He pulls his ID from his back pocket. ‘Look for people smoking drugs.'

Kim freezes with the joint two inches from his mouth.

‘No fucking way.' He laughs an uncertain laugh.

The man laughs too and holds the ID close to Kim's face.

‘Do not worry. I not work now, but in ten minutes I do. In ten minutes if I see you with ganja, I arrest.'

He is now holding the ID in front of my face, but my eyes are doing some jiggy little dance and can't focus.

‘Now we are friends, but when I am police, I am police. Long time in prison for smoking ganja here.'

‘But you've got some on you, man. How can you put people in jail when you smoke it?' asks Jussy, nibbling on the end of a pawn.

‘Is my job. Smoking with you is my relax.' He puts his ID back. ‘If you see me later, do not say hi. I am undercover in bars and clubs here.'

‘OK. You're a fucking dude.' Kim takes a drag on the joint and stubs it out. ‘Thanks for the smoke.' He offers his hand and the cop shakes it.

The policeman and his friend leave without paying for their drinks. They just nod at the barman, who sits at a chair by the bar watching his customers while plucking at a guitar.

‘Jeeesuus. I fucking love this country. Hypocrisy and corruption. What a place,' says Kim.

I lean back in my corner and look out at the sky again. Nothing is visible. The trees and sky merge in blackness.

‘Did you hear about that girl who taught in Surabaya?' asks Julie.

‘Nope,' says Kim.

‘Got caught with three joints on her and got three years in an Indo jail.' Julie picks the dead reefer from the ashtray and flicks it over the railing into the river. ‘Her parents paid a twenty-million-rupiah bribe to get her out and then they didn't let her out. Took the money and kept her in. I'm not smoking around here tonight and I don't trust that copper.'

Lightning finally flashes behind a hill, and the forest is lit up for a second, alive and green, then it plunges back into darkness. My head is bent right back out of the bar and into the night. Drops of rain fall from the dark onto my face, heavy and cool. I can count every drop and feel each one trickle down my skin. Plop. Plop. Plop.

‘Isn't that the guy with the spotted dick?' Jussy's voice penetrates my empty thoughts and for a moment I'm not sure I really heard it.

‘Eh, Newbie, your friend's here with a local girl.'

With effort I pull my head back up and the bar and coloured lights mix in darting lines and blurry splodges. I close my eyes to steady my head. No more ganja. Not tonight.

Opening my eyes wide, the place steadies. I see him, the Liverpudlian, in a yellow Ben Sherman shirt, standing by the bar with his arm around a pretty young Indonesian girl. She looks nervous as he speaks into her ear. She smiles at what he says but tries to pull away. His hand is clasping her shoulder. He gives her a quick kiss on the lips that she tries to turn away from and he laughs. She laughs too, but it is forced.

‘Someone should tell her about his condition,' says Marty as he knocks over Jussy's king.

‘Fuck. You only won ‘cos I'm stoned.' Jussy leans back against the balcony.

‘She's probably already got whatever it is.' Kim kicks my foot with his. ‘You still with us, Newbie? Looking a bit lost.'

I turn my head and I think my neck creaks. I look around to see if anyone can hear it.

It's just the joint. It's just the joint.

‘Not lost,' I say, ‘just contemplating.'

‘Contemplating what?'

‘How I'm going to tell that girl he's got a dose.' I stand up and trip on one of the cushions. Falling back onto the low rail, Kim manages to grab my arm before I tip over into the river.

‘Stoned again. Sit down, man.'

‘Nope. Newbie New Me has a job to do.' I take extra-large steps over the cushions to get out of my corner. ‘No more thinking without action. I'm doing action without thinking. I'm action man.' I giggle as I put my hand on Julie's head to make the last step away from our table.

‘What the hell are you on?' she asks.

‘This man is not used to this extra-strength jungle grass.' Kim laughs. ‘Got to watch this.'

I'm still giggling as I approach the Liverpudlian and the girl. No one, and I mean no one, dead ex-girlfriends and hidden split personalities included, tries to stop me.

‘Alright mate,' I say in my best tribal English greeting.

‘Yeah. Alright.' He pulls the girl tighter into his body. She smiles at me.

‘This your girlfriend?' I ask, pointing my Bacardi and Coke at her. I look at the glass for a second and wonder how it got into my hand. I put it down on a low table next to us, where three backpackers sit.

‘Do you mind?' I ask.

‘No. Go ahead,' answers a dreadlocked male. What is it with dreadlocks and travellers? Perhaps I should grow some, or buy some. I giggle.

‘What's so funny, mate?' asks the man from Liverpool. Liver-poooool. Ha.

‘Nothing. Mate.'

‘You takin' the piss or wha?'

‘No. I wouldn't do tha, like. Wouldn't wanna get in yer face.' I jerk my head towards him on the last word and he flinches.

‘Fuck off.' He moves the girl in front of him.

A human shield? From me? I laugh out loud. Shit. This grass works.

‘Hi,' I say to the girl. ‘
Apa kabar
?'

‘
Baik-baik
,' she answers. She says she's fine. I get the feeling I'm freaking her as much as Ben Sherman.

‘How's the spots?' I ask Ben.

‘Spots? What spots?' He absently scratches his crotch with his spare hand. The girl pulls out from under his arm and looks at what he's doing.

‘Here spot?' The girl points at the offending area.

‘No. No spot. Very big dick here. That's all.' Ben looks over the girl's head at me, eyes narrowing.

Am I about to get into my first real fight? Giggle. I'm going to lose. More giggling. I'm also aware of Kim's laughter somewhere behind me and the three backpackers inch their bums across the floor away from us. Rain has started falling in heavy, straight lines outside and the humidity has risen. Moisture fizzles on my forehead. Lightning and thunder break, one immediately after the other. Bright lights and drums.

‘This is all very dramatic,' I say.

‘It'll be fuckin' dramatic when I split yer fuckin' head open, eh?'

‘He has spot here?' the girl asks me, still pointing at his crotch.

‘That's what it looked like when I saw it dangling in the river earlier.'

‘It was you naked in river.' She turns to face Ben. ‘I hear from friend. She say dirty English man naked in river today. Was you?' She steps away and behind me. No more human shield. Shit.

‘You're fuckin' dead, mate.' Ben takes a step forward.

‘You dirty pig.' She runs past him, down the two steps that lead out of the bar and into the rain. She disappears in splashes of mud up the path.