Jane Doe's Return (22 page)

He wanted to take her in his arms, but he couldn’t. Not until she told him.

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” He slipped off her shoes, trying not to pay too much attention to her ankles. He loved her ankles.

“Stay with me,” she said, barely awake. Her lids fluttered.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her temple, and then lifted her shirt up over her head. Then carefully, he slid her slacks down her hips.

With tender care, he placed her folded clothes on the desk. The bed squeaked when she shifted. Looking at her, half naked in his bed, he struggled with his emotions. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was going to have to make her relive the worst nightmare of her life.

Tucking her under the covers, he kissed her soft, full lips. “Rest. You’re going to need it.” He closed the door behind him, and with heavy heart, headed down the hall toward the kitchen where he heard the soft tap at the back door.

Travis let Jake in without saying a word.

“Are you okay?” Jake questioned.

Travis cocked his head, then sat down on the sofa staring out into the darkness. “Depends on how you look at things.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“That, my friend, is a loaded question. She’s two different people.” Travis took another sip of his soda, then looked at Jake. “She’s Jane Doe.”

Jake turned and seemed to chew on that piece of information. “I thought so.”

“She hasn’t come out and told me, but all the facts are there.” Travis stood. He had so many questions and now he wasn’t sure he could ask them. “She did all this just to flush him out.”

“Payback can be a nasty business.” Jake ran his hand across his head. “I should know.”

“When I wanted to track her down, it was to get information, catch this asshole, and ultimately protect her. Not put her on the front burner.” He’d never felt so conflicted in his life. Even the pain of knowing that Gina chose to abort their child didn’t hold a candle to the fear that Shauna was in real danger, and she’d put herself there on purpose.

“Jane Doe had been a nameless, faceless person. Now, she’s someone you care about. Someone you want to protect on a different level. That changes the game. Changes it for the killer, too.”

Travis turned, his heart pounded frantically against his chest. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that this guy’s a cop.”

“Jesus.”

“Look, this guy knows too much. If he’s not one of your own, then someone’s helping him.” Jake rubbed his neck.

“She’s not even safe here.” Travis turned and looked into the house. She wouldn’t be safe until this bastard was dead or behind bars. He almost preferred the first option.

Jake stood next to Travis and placed a brotherly hand on his shoulder. “Might want to have someone patrol around your brother’s place. One way of getting to you, which means he gets to her.”

Travis stretched his arms in front of him, clasping his hands and cracking all his knuckles. “If I’m going get this guy, I’m going have to keep Shauna out in the open. I wonder how long he’s known who she is.”

“I’d guess since right before she showed up. I’ve gotta get going. Call me—day or night.”

Travis nodded, following Jake to the front door. “The only people who knew she was coming would be people in my office.”

“Get me a list. I’ll do some digging.”

Closing the door, Travis got a sick feeling in the pit of his gut. He could be working side by side with the man who killed his sister and damn near killed Shauna.

“Damn it to hell.” He tossed the empty soda can in the recycle bin and slammed the garage door closed. Standing in his parents’ kitchen, he stared across the family room and down the hall to where she slept. He was angry, sad, scared, frustrated, hurt, resentful and in love. All because of one woman. One woman who he had been searching for and avoiding at the same time. But now he had to make a decision.

He had come to a crossroads, and for the first time in years, he didn’t know which road to take.

Chapter Twelve 

Easing himself onto the chair in the corner of his childhood bedroom, Travis lifted his feet and gently rested them on the foot of the bed where Shauna slept. She shifted under the dark blue comforter.

A slight breeze slipped through the crack of the open window, carrying a mixture of boyhood memories and the night he’d shared with her. He had to keep reminding himself she’d been through hell and came back to help him, to help Marie, and all the other victims. And she did it at great personal cost.

While his blood pumped unevenly through his body, he tried to set aside her mistrust and understand the young victim. He focused on the innocent girl who’d been brutally raped and beaten. His heart ached for her. No one deserved that.

But every time he thought about climbing in bed next to her, to hold her in hopes of taking away any pain she might feel, he saw the agent. The strong, independent woman who matched his abilities, that woman should’ve come forward. Her decision to hide her identity baffled him, especially after he’d confided in her.

He shifted his head to the left, then to the right, but the tension in his neck gripped his muscles, not allowing him any relief. “Damn,” he whispered. Why didn’t she trust him? Especially after all they’d uncovered together. She, of all people, should know that every little detail counted. Even those things that seemed mundane, routine, or even obvious, could set them off on the right path.

Yet she had lied to him.

Dropping his head back, he pulled up a blanket and tried to force his body to rest. He hadn’t dozed long when he heard her stir. A faint glow filtered through the sides of the curtains as the morning sun struggled to make itself seen.

“I hope you didn’t sleep like that,” Shauna said as she sat up, pulling the covers to her chin.

“Don’t think I slept much.” He shifted in his chair. “You want to shower before we start?” His voice sounded cold and bitter even to himself.

Her eyes narrowed and she pulled the covers tight in her fists.

“I’ll give you some privacy.” He shot her an icy stare as he walked from the room. What he needed was a stiff drink. He took a cold shower instead, and dressed without the usual routine. Everything right now seemed out of place. A decent breakfast might help him put things in perspective.

Amazed by the amount of time she was spending in the shower, Travis slammed her plate of pancakes on the table. “You going to take all day!” he shouted down the hall.

“Are you going to be an asshole all day?” She glared at him, then stormed into the kitchen.

“That all depends on you.” He poured her a cup of coffee, gripping the pot handle to hide his trembling hands. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to throttle her or hug her.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” She took her coffee and blew into it, pushing the steam away from her face.

“Some people might not see it that way.”

“Screw you and those people.” Coffee splattered on the counter when she slammed her fist down. “Go ahead, ask me. I dare you.”

“I’d like it if you told me instead.”

She let out a dry chuckle. “Maybe I want to lie to you just a little while longer.”

“Come on.” He glared at her. “You owe me.”

“Look, I was just a scared kid who didn’t want to talk about it. I thought it was my fault, that I’d done something to deserve it. The cops were yelling at each other. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there.” Her fierce gaze collided with his.

“That doesn’t explain why you chose not to tell me now. You still haven’t told me.” The disappointment in his tone was unmistakable.

“Back then, I didn’t know how to defend myself. The only thing I knew, or believed, was that I was a no-good slut who would never amount to anything better than a call girl.” She slammed her cup on the table. “It took a long time and a lot of counseling for me to learn how to live with what happened.”

“That was then,” he said softly, holding her angry gaze. “I want you to tell me now.”

“Why tell you when you already think you know the truth.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Just say it, that’s all I’m asking,” he said behind a clenched jaw.

“Fine. You want to know who I am.” He could see her struggle for control, but he needed her to say it. “I’m Jane Doe. I was raped and beaten by an animal who is still out there waiting for me to come back so he can kill me. You happy?”

“No.” Holding his arms out to her, he took a step closer. Her hand landed dead center in his chest, stopping him, but it was the coldness in her eyes that made him physically back away.

“I spent years in counseling learning how to cope with what happened. It wasn’t easy, but I’m damn proud of who and what I have become. I’m not going to let anyone take that from me.”

“Shauna, I understand—”

“Like hell you understand.” Her eyes looked as if they burned with vengeance. “All you see is what I was, not who I am.”

“That’s not true and the only thing I don’t understand is why, in God’s name, you didn’t tell me you were Jane Doe when you knew, even before you met me, how important she was…is to me.”

A sarcastic laugh came from her mouth. “Jane Doe isn’t important to you. I’m not important to you. The only thing you care about is catching the bastard.”

“Yeah. I want to catch the asshole.”

“But that’s all you are focused on.”

“And you’re not?”

“It is something I want, but it’s not what I live for. It’s not just about finding my rapist. Marie’s rapist. It’s about helping to put an end to these types of crimes. It’s about helping the victims. Not me, personally. And that is the difference.”

“I do not live solely for this case.”

“Yes, you do. I don’t think you have a clue as to what you will do if and when you find this killer. You are so consumed with it that you can’t see beyond it.”

“Eat.” He pushed the plate of pancakes in her face, unable to look her in the eye. She had a point, but he did care about other things. Namely her. But he’d have to deal with that issue later.

She pushed the plate away.

“Come on, Shauna, you need your strength.”

“Fine,” she muttered, and then plopped herself at the table.

He placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” She shrugged it off and shot him a warning glare.

Her fork scraped the plate as she toyed with her food, taking only a few bites. He fiddled with the dishes, mentally kicking himself for being such a jerk. She had been through so much in her life, given up so much. The least he could do was be nice.

“So? What are you waiting for?” She stood up, then took another cup of coffee, and without looking back, she opened the sliders and went out on the porch.

He followed her out on to the deck. The bright sun hit his eyes, forcing the world to blur. “I don’t want to grill you. I just want to know what happened, what you remember.” He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes.

“I was raped.” She yanked her head back and then sat down. “And I don’t have a clue who did it.”

“I know this is hard for you.” He didn’t want to put her through this, but he knew it was necessary, for both of them.

“Just ask your damn questions.” She sipped her coffee.

For a brief moment, he didn’t have any questions. He couldn’t remember a single one. It floored him. He’d been trying to track Marie’s killer through Jane Doe and Jane Doe had just shown up. “I need a pen and paper.” He moved back into the house, trying to collect his thoughts.

****

Shauna took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt relieved. Even though she’d woken up with a sour belly, and the pancakes hadn’t really helped, she felt better. Telling the truth seemed to give her some relief from her guilt.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t talk about what happened, but that she couldn’t give Travis the answers he so craved. The answers he lived for. She did worry about what he would do when they caught the Princess Killer. His life seemed so empty. Or maybe put on hold.

Hell, she was worried because that was her life. Sure, she was in this to help others, but ultimately, she was no different from Travis. Her drive came from the need to catch one killer.

Travis returned with
her
file, pen and paper, his face pale.

“Let’s get on with it,” she snapped.

“This is not going to be fun for me, either. Whether you want to believe this or not, finding you was never about hurting you. I want to catch this bastard and I need your help to do it. Ironic, when you think about it.”

“And I need yours.” She rolled her neck. The sooner she talked, the sooner it would be over.

Her hands trembled as she took her file from him. “You were pretty close on everything. I ran away because my dad was drunk all the time. He treated me poorly and told me I would never amount to anything. Said I was a no-good whore like my mother.”