Janet (7 page)

The waiter brought the tab and Scott placed the money inside. I didn’t bother to fight for my half. I could predict exactly how Scott would react. The argument would last another fifteen minutes.

Scott stood up and pulled my chair out. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

He grabbed my hand and walked me out the restaurant. Feeling his hand surround mine felt oddly nice. I didn’t pull away even though I knew I should. He was so much taller than me, at least a foot. I always felt large around my friends, but Scott’s large size made me feel small. When we reached the street, he held my hand as we walked. As the crowd passed us, he put his arm around my waist and held me close. The longer I touched him, the more I fell for his tactics. I hadn’t been held like that in a long time. It felt nice.

When we reached my apartment, he walked me to the door. “Thank you for going out with me,” he said politely. His hands moved to his pockets and
he stared me down.

I was somewhat disappointed that he stopped touching me.

“Well, I was tricked into it.”

“If you
really wanted to leave, you could have.”

“I highly doubt that.”

He smiled. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I don’t know if I want to be,” I whispered.

“I’ll change your mind.” He came closer to me. “Can I take you out again?”

“Uh…”

“I’ll pick you up at seven on Wednesday.”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“I’m speeding things along.”

I glared at him. “I don’t like not having a choice.”

“You do.”

“It doesn’t seem that way.”

He stepped closer to me. “I’m going to kiss you.”

My eyes widened.

“And it’ll be different than the other ones. I’m going to push you against the door, feel your body, and touch my tongue against yours.”

I stood still.

He leaned closer to me, slowly pushing me toward the door.

My heart was slamming against my ribs.

“You can stop me at any time.”

When my back was pressed against the door, he pushed against me, his chest touching mine. His hands moved to my hips, feeling the fabric in his fingertips. His warm breaths fell on my face, inviting me to him.

“You want me to stop?” he whispered.

I stared at his lips, waiting for it to happen.

“You do have a choice, baby.” He pressed his lips against mine, making my heart stop beating for a moment in time. His kiss was gently, his lips caressing mine. His hands moved up and down my sides, feeling the curves of my waist.

I opened my mouth wider, feeling my passion and excitement take over. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, lightly moving around mine. He kissed me slowly, his tongue moving across mine with precision. He moved his mouth more than his tongue. The sound of our kisses filled the quiet hallway. It played loud on my ears. My heart hammered in my chest and I felt my breathing increase. By their own will, my hands reached out and touched his chest, feeling the muscles of his body. It was hard and solid, powerful like a concrete wall. My hands glided to his neck, feeling the short stands in my fingertips.

Scott pushed me against the door, his hand moving to my leg. His hand drifted across the skin, caressing my calf muscle. I wrapped my leg around his waist, and his hand moved to my thigh. I’d never had a kiss quite like that. It was gentle but powerful at the same time. It made my legs shake and the moisture form between my legs.

My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close to me. A loud moan escaped my lips before I could hold it back. I’d never been turned on like that, just from a simple kiss. My mind turned to sinister thoughts. I’d never had a one night stand before, but I wanted to do more thing
s with Scott. His body and touch made me act in a way I never had before. A sexier man I’d never known. Before I got carried away, I pulled away.

Scott placed his face close to mine, his breathing deep and heavy. His hands pulled down my dress and gripped my waist. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me. I wasn’t expe
cting the touch. I rested my head on his shoulder while he held me, my breathing still shallow. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” he whispered.

I placed a gentle kiss on his neck.

He moaned quietly.

I pulled away then stared into his face.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

“Yeah.”

“Now go inside.”

I fumbled with my keys while he watched me. I wanted to invite him inside but I knew I shouldn’t. I’d never gotten carried away like that in the middle of a hallway. Imagine how bad I’d be if we were alone in my bedroom. When I got the door open, I turned to him.

He placed his hand on the door and kissed me gently on the lips. “I’ll see you in my dreams.” Scott turned and walked away, leaving me rooted to the spot. When he was gone, I shut the door and walked to my room in a daze, unable to believe what just happened. I liked Scott but I didn’t at the same time. My lips were still on fire, burning from his last touch.

When I went into my bedroom, I grabbed my laptop. I searched the Ralph Lauren ads and typed his name in the search engine. After a few minutes of research, I found his pictures. My eyes widened when I saw his body. His chest was chiseled in detail, looking like a statue carved out of marble. His chest was wide a
nd powerful, packed with muscle. His stomach was tight with muscles, an eight pack clearly defined. It looked like a piece of art, not a person. And when I saw the bugle in his underwear, my mouth watered. He was definitely—big. I was still on fire from the kiss we had in the hallway, and now I felt the lust for him return. I lied in bed and touched myself while I stared at his picture, feeling dirtier than I ever had. I’d never done that before, but when I was done, I was more satisfied than I’d ever been with any man in my past.

7

My sister finally started talking to me a few days later.

I placed the dinner on the table and she sat down. Normally
, she complained about my cooking, saying she could do it better, but tonight she was quiet. She ate a piece of the asparagus and chewed quietly.

I sipped my water while I stared at her. I usually enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner but I threw away all the alcohol I had in light of her addiction.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I almost dropped my fork. My sister never apologized for anythin
g. Even when she stole my dolls and sold them at our garage sell, she still didn’t apologize. And they were a gift from my late grandmother.

“I should have told you.”

I nodded.

“I—I just didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you ready now?”

“No, I’ll never be ready.”

“Beatriz, tell me what happened.”

She picked at her asparagus with her fork, not eating anything. “We’re making federal changes to the education system and I was stressed about that. They changed the tenure policy and I was getting more anxious about it. I started taking it out on Hank.
He was already stressed at work, and I was just making it worse. I turned to alcohol because it was the only thing that steadied my shaking hand. We stopped having sex for months. When I caught him masturbating, I yelled at him. That just made it worse.

“And when I was home, I had a few glasses of wine. I was hold
ing Joey and I—”

My eyes widened, fearing her following words.

“I dropped him…”

My heart fell.

“He was in the hospital for a week because he had swelling to the brain.” A tear fell down her face. “That’s when everything went from bad to worse. Hank left and took Joey with him. Social services got involved and took a report. When Hank sues for sole custody of Joey, I know I’ll lose.” She wiped her tears away and tried to steady her breathing. “I’m a horrible mother.”

I grabbed her hand. “Beatriz, it was an accident.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t drinking. It wasn’t intentional.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said as she sobbed.

“You recognize your faults. That’s good. Now we can move forward and change everything.”

“Nothing I do will change anything. Hank hates me. And he should. He tried divorcing me but I keep evading it.”

“Because you love him.”

She sobbed and covered her face.

I came around the table and held her, patting her back.

She sobbed into my shoulder, gripping me for support. I held her for a long time, running my fingers through her hair like I used to. She cried and cried, pouring her heart and soul out to me.

“I hate myself,” she whispered.

“Don’t say that,” I said. “We’ll make it right.”

“I can’t.”

I pulled away. “We’ll get you help. When Hank sees all the effort you’re making, he’ll change his mind.”

“No he won’t.”

“You shouldn’t have to suffer forever, Beatriz. Hank is understanding. If you prove you’ve changed, he’ll come around.”

“He’ll never take me back.”

“But he’ll let you see Joey.”

“No, he won’t.”

“Let’s take baby steps,” I said. “We’ll get you into a program then we go from there.”

She sniffed. “Thank you so much. I know I’ve been a bitch you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Please don’t tell Mom.”

“I won’t,” I said. “But you should
tell her eventually. She’ll figure it out. I did.”

“I know,” she whispered. “Can you do me a favor?”

“I’d do anything for you, Bee.”

“Hank won’t let me see Joey. Could you go see him for me? Check on him?”

“Of course.”

“I miss him so much. I love him more than anything.”

“I know you do,” I said gently.

“I mean
it.”

“I know, Bee.”

“I really have no one else in the world. I don’t have any friends, any family—no one. Without you, I’d be screwed.”

“That isn’t true. Tony is a part of this family too.”

“We’ve never been close,” she said.

“He’s still your brother. He’d do anything for you.”

“Please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” I said.

“Thank you.” She nodded. “I’ll try not to be so annoying from now on.”

I chuckled. “That would be much appreciated.”

“So, what’s new with you?”

I immediately thought of Scott. “Nothing.”

“I forgot that you’re boring.”

I glared at her.

“Sorry,” she said quickly. “It’ll take me some time to work on that.”

“As long as you’re making progress.”

Beatriz wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, Janet.”

“And I love you forever, baby sister.”

8

When I got off work, I called Hank. He answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Janet.”

“How are you?” he asked politely.

“I’m well. How are you?”

He paused. “I’m okay. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could c
ome by and see my nephew.”

“Oh,” he said. “Of course.”

“Where does you sister live?”

“In the city. I’ll text you the address.”

“Can I come over now?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I should be there by the time you arrive. But I have to ask something. Is Beatriz with you?”

“No.”

“I’m trusting you to be honest with me. She doesn’t know where my sister lives and I don’t want her to.”

“You have my word.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll see you soon.”

We hung up and I headed to the apartment on the other side of town. It was difficult to locate because I’d never been in that district but I found it eventually. After I knocked on the door, Hank answered.

His tie was undone around his neck and his hair seemed messy. He looked exhausted like he hadn’t slept in years. The bags under his eyes gave away his depression. He wasn’t the vibrant and upbeat guy I remembered. He looked ruined. “Hello, Janet.”

“Hey.”

He hugged me and patted me on the back. “It’s lovely to see you.”

“You too.”

“Please come in.”

“Thank you.”

Hank led me to the living room. “You remember my sister Tanya?”

I smiled at her. “Of course.”

She barely acknowledged me. Her scowl was noticeable.

Hank took me aside. “I apologize for her behavior. She just…doesn’t like your sister.”

“So she doesn’t like me?”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “Nothing will stop me from seeing my nephew.”

“I expected nothing less.”

Joey was sitting on the ground, playing with his Legos. He was two years old, but he was an adorable toddler. He had dark hair like his father and beautiful green eyes like my sister. I sat i
n front of him and smiled.

“Hey, monster.”

He giggled and pointed. “Auntie!”

I hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re so big.”

“I’m almost three!” He held up three fingers.

“Wow. Are you having a birthday party?”

He nodded his head vigorously.

“What do you want for your birthday?”

He held up his Legos. “More.”

“More?”

Joey nodded again.

He was so cute I felt tears in my eyes. I pulled him to lap and examined the back of his head. There was faint scar. I sighed miserably. Joey played with his toys while Tanya stared at both of us, watching my every move.

Hank moved to the floor beside me. “How’s she doing?”

“Not good.”

He nodded.

“She’s enrolling in a program. She wants to get better.”

“She finally told you?”

I nodded. “She hopes if she puts herself back together, she can have her son back.”

“I don’t think so,” Tanya snapped.

Hank looked at her. “Tanya, please don’t.”

“No,” she said. “This is my nephew. I’m not letting her near him.” She started to raise her voice.

Hank held up his hand. “Please give me a moment with Janet.”

She sighed then stormed into her bedroom.

Hank looked back at me. “She means well.”

“I understand, Hank. She just wants the best for Joey. I can’t blame her for being protective.”

Hank nodded then watched his son.

“Do you think you’d give her another chance if she changed?”

“I—I don’t know. She would have to be really convincing. I don’t want Joey to be distant from his mother, but
as his father, I can’t let him be in danger again. I refuse to let that happen.”

I stroked Joey’s hair. “I completely understand.”

“I’m glad you’re more logical than your sister.”

“But I haven’t experienced what she has.”

Hank averted his gaze and sighed.

“Would you give your marriage another chance?”

He sighed. “No.”

I felt my heart clench painfully. “Even if she changed?”

“I—I don’t know. I’d have to see the change before I considered it. I love Beatriz. A part of me always will. But everything has been different these past months. She’s done things she can’t ever take back. Hurting our son is one of them.”

“You know it wasn’t intentional.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he snapped. “A child is her priority, not her drinking. If she were responsible this wouldn’t have happened.”

“I’m not defending her actions,” I said quickly. “I just want to make sure you understand she regrets it.”

“Regret won’t change our future.”

I kissed Joey on the head and watched him play with his toys. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“I’m a total wreck, Janet. Of course I’m not seeing anyone. I’m not even divorced yet.”

“Could you hold off on the papers? Just give her some time.”

“I know this is hard to hear because she’s your sister,” Hank said. “But now that we’re apart, I see all her flaws. She’s selfish, rude, difficult, and a perpetual liar. She constantly puts down others to make herself feel better. I’m tired of being on the other end of that. A part of me wants to stay married for Joey, but the bigger part of me knows I can give him a good life by myself. My sister loves him like her own, and my parents want him around all the time. I can do this on my own.”

“You always have me and Tony,” I said. “Even if you get divorced, we’re still family as far as I’m concerned.”

He smiled. “I’ve always liked you, Janet. A part of me wishes I’d met you first.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I wasn’t expecting that comment.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said.

“It’s okay,” I said. “But I know you love Beatriz.”

“I’m not sure anymore. I think I was just infatuated with her beauty. Now I see who she really is. Her beauty is absent.”

“I admit my sister is…different, but she’s a good person. And I think all of this has really given her some perspective. She broke down in my arms last night. I think this is the beginning of something new.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Joey handed me a Lego creation. It was a weird box. I wasn’t sure what it was. “Look what I made.”

“It’s nice,” I said.

“Daddy helps me. He’s really good.”

“I bet he is.” I took out my phone. “Can you take some pictures of us?”

“Sure.” He held the phone and captured the moment. Joey continued to play with the blocks while I watched him. “Is this for Beatriz?”

I nodded.

“You’re a good sister.”

“That’s what she keeps telling me.”

“So, what’s new with you?”

“Nothing, really.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Uh, I’m not sure.”

“You aren’t sure?” he asked with a smile.

“I don’t know. There’s this guy…”

“Sounds complicated.”

“It’s not. I’m just making it complicated.”

“Women tend to do that,” he said. “You like him?”

“That’s what scares me. I like him a lot even though I shouldn’t.”

“And why not?”

I shrugged. “He just seems—unsafe.”

“You’re afraid he’ll hurt you.”

I nodded. “And he’s so cocky and full of himself. I just don’t like people like that.”

“You’re the mo
st humble person I know so that makes sense.”

“I don’t know.”

“Give him a chance.”

“You think?”

“You don’t seem like you find the right guys very often. And if you like him, take the risk.”

“I think I already did.”

“Then ride it out.” He grabbed a toy and handed it to Joey. “I want to have a niece or nephew of my own someday.”

I smiled. “What about your sister?”

“She’s crazy,” he said with a laugh. “No one is going to settle down with that.”

“I can hear you!” Tanya called.

I laughed. “You might have to get a new babysitter.”

“I’d love to stay home and spend the whole day with Joey,” he said. “A part of me wishes she would quit.”

“Tony or I can watch him if your sister needs a break.”

He avoided my gaze. “I don’t feel comfortable with that since Beatriz is living with you.”

“Oh,” I said sadly. “She won’t be there forever. And we can keep him at Tony’s place. She’ll never know.”

“Then I’d be okay with that.”

“Beatriz would never hurt Joey again,” I said.

“I have to do what’s best for my son,” he said. “I’m sorry if that offends you. But I don’t care.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed deeply, like he was about to pass out.

I assumed he was tired from his long day at work. “I should get going. I just wanted to pay him a visit.”

“You’re welcome anytime.” He stood up and walked me to the door.

I carried Joey in my arms and gave him a kiss. “I’ll see you later, monster.”

“Bye, Aunt Janet.”

I put him down and he waddled away.

Hank put his hands in his pockets. “It was nice seeing you.”

“If you need any help, please let me know. I know being a single parent is difficult. If you need a break or just need someone to run out for some diapers, I’m always here.”

He pulled me in for a hug. “I appreciate it. I’ll let you know.”

“And I know how to cook.”

Hank smiled. “I do miss a home cooked meal. Tanya doesn’t know the difference between an oven and a microwave.”

“Shut up!” she yelled from her bedroom.

I laughed. “I’ll bring something over sometime.”

“That would be lovely.”

I stepped into the hallway. “Bye.”

He nodded. “See you later.”

When I left his apartment, I went to see my brother. He had a place close to mine. When I reached his door, I heard the sound of the game on the TV. I knocked. “It’s Janet.”

He opened it and looked at me, his dark hair ruffled. He wore his Yankee jersey, the same one he had since college. “Hey, sis.” He opened the door and allowed me to enter.

“What’s the score?”

“Yankees are 3-0.”

“That sounds promising.”

He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and opened it before he handed it to me.

I took a long drink.

Tony eyed me with a smile. “Long day?”

“You could say that.”

He moved to the couch. “Relax in the man cave.”

I rolled my eyes and sat down.

“So, what’s up?”

“Nothing much.”

He watched the game, his arm resting on the back of the couch. I waited until it was over until I got to the serious stuff. My brother was very invested in sports. I suspected he gambled a lot of money on it. It was the only way to explain his large apartment and the fact that he didn’t have a real job. He went to college and received his business degree but never put it to use. But somehow he paid back his loans, had a beautiful apartment, and a nice car, not to mention all the money he dropped on extra things. “How was work?” he asked.

“Boring.”

“Well, it’s a job.”

“You wouldn’t know what that’s like.”

He smiled. “I have a very important job.”

“I’m sure.”

He drank his beer while he leaned back. “Have you lost weight?”

“Why?”

Tony shrugged. “You look nice, like you’re tighter.”

I smiled. “I’ve been heading to the gym every day.”

“It shows.”

I’ve always been closer to my older brother than my younger sister. Tony was just easy to get along with. We never tattled on each other to our parents, and we would carry each other’s secrets to the grave. Our bond was unusual. I never felt judged or uncomfortable around him. He never gave me shit for being single for so long, or the fact that I didn’t like to party every weekend. He was the coolest guy I knew. “I’
m kinda dating someone.”

He looked at me. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Is it serious?”

“No.”

“Well, I hope it goes well. I know how picky you are.”

“I’m just afraid he’s a player. I find it hard to believe that he really likes me.”