Jelly Cooper: Alien (9 page)

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Authors: Lynne Thomas

BOOK: Jelly Cooper: Alien
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I
jog to a halt and do the only thing that I can: I throw back my head and scream.

It’s true.  It’s all true.  I’m an alien and a monster is coming to kill me.

I need Agatha and I need Humphrey.

Spinning, I run straight into the
rock-hard chest of Travis Jenson.  Balance lost, I grab at his fleece.  Travis wraps his arms around me and the world tilts.

“Whoa there.
  Where’s the fire?”

I panic.  I can’t help it. 
He’s here and I’m a mess and he’s making me feel all
weird
and I look a mess and…

I
freak out and struggle.  “Let me go. 
Let me GO!”

Shocked,
Travis unlocks his arms from around my waist and steps backwards.  Balance never has been a strong point of mine, new-found powers or not, and I trip over my feet and fall, landing on the ground with a very undignified ‘thud’.  

I glare at Travis
.  “What the hell?  What are you doing, creeping up on me like that?” 

Splayed on the ground, cheeks pink from the run and hair sticking up at all angles, I am very aware of the picture I present.

He laughs.

“Don’t you laugh at me, you…you…
pig!

I
scramble to my feet and brush myself down.  Travis holds up his hands, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“Sorry,
I give up.  It was all my fault.  I forced you to turn around and run straight into me.  No need to name call.”  He pretends to look hurt.  “Anyway, I wasn’t sneaking up on you.  I come here every morning to run.  I’ve usually got the place to myself.”  He stops and rubs his chin, looking around the field.  “I saw you running on the track,” he says, eyeing me carefully.  “You should be on the team.”

“No thank you
.”

Too fast
.  Too late, I realise my mistake. 

“Why not?”

I shrug, staying tight-lipped.

Travis
stares at me for real.  “I’ve never seen anyone move like that.” 

I sigh.
  “Like what?”

He lifts a shoulder.  “I was just thinking that it would have been a struggle to beat you out there
this morning and I can beat anyone in this school.  Don’t you think that’s a little bit strange?”

Snagging my bottom lip between my teeth, I wrack my brains for something smart to say. 
Something that will steer him away from my sudden talent for track.

“It’s my, um, style
,” I blurt.  “It makes me look like I’m moving faster than I actually am.”

Travis’ mouth s
miles at me, but his eyes don’t and it makes me shiver.  He always has this effect on me.  He’s the only person in the world that has this effect on me.

He shakes his head
and stops pretending to smile. “You were moving out there. 
Really moving
.”

I have got to do something about this and I have got to do it now.
  I raise my shoulder and inject some venom into my voice.  “So what if I was?”  I sneer.  “It’s none of your business.  So I can run fast.  Big deal.  It doesn’t mean that I want to be on the team, sharing a changing room with you lot of egomaniacs.  You’re as bad as the pompom brigade.  IQs of amoebas and an inability to walk past a shop window without checking out your reflection.  Be a part of
that
?  Thanks, but no.  I’d rather eat my shoes.”
We stare at each other in silence.  I know I’ve gone too far.  The look on Travis’ face tells me that.  Dark, brooding, stern…no, they’re not the words to describe it.  Mad.  That’s a much better word for the look on his face.  Yup.  Mad as hell.  Oops.

He takes a step
closer and grabs me by the shoulders.  His fingers dig into my flesh.  It hurts, but instead of standing up to him I stare at the ground like a meek little girl.  He’s having that effect on me again.  I’m embarrassed, confused and frightened and all I can think of is how
good
he smells.

I need locking up.

Travis hooks a finger underneath my chin and forces my head up.  Our eyes clash and my legs start to tremble.  I feel…odd.

“Don’t
insult me again, Jelly.”

His fingers dig deeper into my shoulders.  I
suck in my breath, but Travis either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. 

“You
don’t know anything about me and I don’t like being insulted by a stranger.”

“I…um –

He lets go and walks away.

“I’m sorry.”

Too late.  Travis runs towards the track and my apology is spoken to the morning air.

I stare after him.

That could have gone better.

 

***              ***              ***

 

I’ve been waiting at the end of Willow Road for Humphrey for eight minutes and I’m at bursting point by the time he finally comes around the corner.

“Humphrey.  You’re late
.”

“Yeah
.”

“For God’s sake Humph
rey,” I explode, “don’t you take anything seriously?”

As you can see, my mood has not improved since the run-in with golden boy.

Humphrey blinks at me.  “What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing
,” I snap.  “There’s nothing
wrong
with me.  Why would you say that?”

Humphrey raises his eyebrows.

“Everything,” I wail.  “Things are happening too fast.  I need to speak to you and Agatha.”

“Well, Jay, we’re kind of on our way to school
,” says Humphrey, doing his really annoying ‘I’m talking to a dummy’ thing.  “It’ll have to be tonight.”

Not soon enough.
  The words scream inside my head and I know that I should listen.  The voice of impending doom has spoken and I know now that I can’t ignore it.  Well, I can, but it will most likely end in my bloody death.

“No good
.  It has to be now.”

Humphrey appraises me steadily with his infamous steady appraisal technique.  It’s a thing he’s specially practiced to unnerve
me.  He’s very good at it and I fidget.

“What about Agatha?” he asks. 

Ah, now Agatha may be an issue. 

“You’re asking
Agatha
to miss school?”

It’s
incredible how quickly Humphrey can make me feel like a selfish git.  I try to keep my composure and think about what I’m doing, but you know me: I just go ahead and jump in with both feet.

“Look
Humphrey
,” I snap, “supposed friend.  I need your help.  Stuff is happening.  Like
really weird
stuff.  Life changing stuff,” I add for emphasis.  “Are you going to help me or are you just going to stand there and be an arse?”

Humphrey takes a step away.
  “I say again: what’s the matter with you?”

I
t dawns on me that I’m acting like a lunatic.  I’m angry with my oldest, closest, friend over
nothing.
  He’s looking out for me, in his own annoying way, and I’m going nuclear on him. 

I blame Travis.

“Sorry.”

We stare at each other.  I break the silence first.
  “I’m an alien.”

Humphrey purses his lips.
  “Thought so.”

I stamp my foot.
  “I’m not kidding Humphrey.”

He gently grabs my shoulders.
  “Neither am I, Jay.”

I don’t know why there’s a lump the size of a
cream egg in my throat, I really don’t.  I swallow it and wipe my eyes.

“Thanks
Humph.  Meet me at the bus stop on Mill Street.  I’ll get Agatha.”

I hope I can reach her before school starts.

Chapter Eight

 

I race through the school gates and scan the yard.  I catch sight of Agatha disappearing into the main block.  Shouldering my way though the crowd, I grab her arm and yank her to one side as we narrowly miss being propelled into the assembly hall.

“Agatha
,” I gasp, trying to catch my breath.  “I’ll explain later.  Right now, we have to go.  Trust me.”

“But its –

I don’t wait to hear what she’s got to say.  I can’t.  I snatch her hand and drag her down the hallway.  “We can sneak out the back and walk along the river bank,” I glance over my shoulder, pulling Agatha along behind me.  “The trees will give us some cover.”


What
?”

I yank her down the corridor
and away from people.  Gathering speed, we swing around the corner and cannon straight into a skulking Rhiannon Miles.

Arms and legs
meshing, we fall to the floor in a tangled heap.  I land hard, Agatha’s elbow in my ribs and an anonymous knee embedded in my thigh.  I clamp my mouth shut and muffle a groan of agony. I can’t afford for anyone to discover us and find out that we’re on our way to hookie-ville.

Agatha hauls herself up
and kneels over me, violet eyes concerned. I lie on my back, the wind punched out of my lungs, the colour draining from my cheeks.  I close my eyes, feeling sick.

“Shall I get help?”

My eyes snap open and I shake my head, wincing as yet another part of my body spasms with pain. 

“No way
.”  I grunt through clenched teeth. “I’ll be fine.  I’m winded, that’s all.” 

Agatha’s not convinced.  In typical Agatha style, she starts to chew her lip and glance around for help.
  There’s nothing else for it; I’m going to have to get to my feet. Swallowing a groan, I push myself onto my elbows and into a half-hearted sitting position.

“Give…us…a…hand, would you.”

“YOU STUPID COW!”

One minute
Agatha is in front of me and the next she’s not.  I look up into a different face.  Rhiannon.

In the kerfuffle, I
forgot about her.  She glares down at me with fury and hatred.

“What the
hell
is the matter with you two?  You do not run straight into somebody else and push them over unless there is something very, VERY, SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU.  YOU MUST BE THE MOST STUPID –

My head is splitting and all that screeching is not helping.  Rhiannon is having one
ginormous hissy fit.  Her nostrils flare and she towers over us, chest heaving.

“Stu
pid, idiotic, brainless…FREAKS.”

Oh God.  She’s screaming.  People will come.

“You don’t belong here,” she screams on, “you don’t fit in.  You should just leave, the both of you, and take that other misfit with you.  Nobody would care.  No one would miss you – in fact, if I threw a party to celebrate, the whole school would show up.”

Breathless, she stops ranting.  I’ve got to stop her before she gets her
momentum back and starts to shout at me again.

I force myself to sit up
properly and look at Rhiannon’s face.  Her reaction is too fierce and too intense to be natural.  She’s losing it.  Interesting.

“You two make me sick
,” Rhiannon spits, her voice shrill.  “The two of you with your stupid faces and your stupid –

“Just shut the hell up and let me think
.”

The abrupt silence gives me time to focus.  Staring at
Rhiannon, I concentrate hard. 

Let’s see if any of this hocus-pocus stuff works.

Right, moo face, I’m just going to have a go at reading your mind, so if you could stand perfectly still….

Wow.  Within seconds, I feel somethin
g.  As I look at the chipmunk, something reaches out from within me, like invisible tentacles.  I can’t see them, but I can feel them move.  My head feels thick, like when you get up in the morning after too much sleep.  Everything is muffled.  My ears pop and, bingo, Rhiannon’s thoughts are in my head.

So, it really is that easy. 

“Don’t you dare tell me to shut up.”

The silence, however
short, is enough for me to find what I need.  Grabbing Agatha’s hand, I pull myself to my feet, shushing her noises of concern.

“It was an accident Rhia
nnon, let it go.”

R
hiannon’s cheeks flush. She steps forward and grabs the front of my shirt.  I stare back at her with a little smile, which probably isn’t the wisest way to try and diffuse the situation. 

Rhiannon
pushes Agatha aside and shoves me against the wall.  I’ve always known that this day would come, that me and Rhiannon would come to blows, and contrary to how I always imagined myself behaving, I find that I’m not up for it.

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