Jerome Bixby's The Man from Earth (2 page)

JOHN.
(smiles)
Pork chops will do. Thanks.

DAN.
Art’ll be along, too. He’s… talking to a student.

(All generally acknowledge what Art is really up to.)

EDITH.
(changing the subject)
Is George taking over for you?

JOHN.
Or Trimble.
(looks at
SANDY
)
The Dean made up his mind yet?

SANDY.
He hasn’t called.

(
EDITH
has spotted the “Van Gogh.” Stares, bends over for a closer look.)

EDITH.
My God! What is this? It looks like a van Gogh, but I’ve never seen it before!

DAN.
It can’t be an original.

JOHN.
’Course not. Just a gift.

EDITH.
Still…it’s a superb copy. Contemporaneous, I think.
(glances at
JOHN
)
May I?

(Off
JOHN
’s nod, she picks up the painting reverently.)

EDITH
(cont’d)
These are the same stretchers van Gogh used.

DAN.
Hey, there’s writing on the back, in French.

EDITH.
(reading)
“To my friend, Jacques Borne.” I wonder who he was.

JOHN.
Somebody he knew, I guess.

HARRY.
That’s a brilliant deduction.

(
HARRY
continues on into the house.)

EDITH.
Surely you’ll have it looked at sometime. Appraised?

JOHN.
Maybe sometime. I wouldn’t be interested in money for it.

(
JOHN
has been putting stuff into the wagon.
EDITH
gives him the painting. He puts it carefully in, slams the tailgate. )

JOHN
(cont’d)
That’s about it, for now. Come on inside?

(They walk toward the porch.
EDITH
looks back once.

The Van Gogh.
JOHN
calls out to
HARRY
:)

JOHN
(cont’d)
Just put the stuff in the kitchen. Electricity’s on, the gas is off.

(They enter the cabin. The room is barren of almost everything except furniture. Empty bookshelves, no pictures or knickknacks. A fire burns low in the fireplace.)

(People shed their jackets.
HARRY
unpacks food in the kitchen.)

(EDITH
moves toward the kitchen, joining
HARRY
.
SANDY
moves near the fire, gazes absentmindedly.)

JOHN
(cont’d) (to others)
Get comfortable while you can. Furniture’s going this afternoon.

DAN.
It’s been years since I sat on a floor. I’ve forgotten her name.

HARRY.
It’s good for the back.

EDITH.
Can we do yoga exercises?

HARRY.
That’s even better.

(
JOHN
and
DAN
settle into chairs. A moment of silence. )

DAN.
So you’re leaving good old We Teach U. Rather suddenly, you’ll admit. Truth time. Is there a problem, John?

(
JOHN
shakes his head.)

DAN
(cont’d)
You know we’d want to help.

JOHN.
That’s appreciated. But, no, there’s no problem.

(
SANDY
’s face shows concern, and a little resentment.)

DAN.
Well, I guess I’m plain curious. Where are you going?

(
JOHN
indicates that he doesn’t know.)

HARRY.
(still in kitchen)
You’re giving up tenure?

DAN.
– a decade of professorship, in line to chair the department, and you don’t know where you’re going? Now I
am
curious.

JOHN.
Call it cabin fever. After a while my feet get itchy. I’ve done it before.

DAN.
You’re too young to have done it before.

EDITH.
(in kitchen)
And he hasn’t aged a day in ten years!

Every woman on the faculty would give anything for his secret.

HARRY.
(in kitchen)
Is that what you’re after!

EDITH.
(in kitchen)
Oh, Harry, you stop that!

(
SANDY
has moved near a fine hunting bow, leaning by the door. A rack of arrows. Several packed boxes nearby. She leans over to pick it up. Tries the tension and winces.)

SANDY.
Whoa! Can you pull this?

DAN.
What do you hunt?

JOHN.
Deer, mostly. Up around Big Bear.

HARRY.
What – ?

(
HARRY
and
EDITH
return from the kitchen.)

DAN.
Some people can’t bag a deer with a rifle and telescopic sight.

HARRY.
With a
bow
and
arrow
?

DAN.
Good eating.

JOHN.
The best. Wild game. It eats naturally, lives naturally –

(
JOHN
falls silent, hearing a motorcycle pulling up O. S. Opens the door, steps outside…

The motorcycle is turned off and we hear O.S. chatter as two people remove their helmets and approach the cabin:
ART JENKINS
, and
LINDA
, a student.)

JOHN
(cont’d)
Art.

ART.
John.

(They shake hands.)

You remember Linda? Had her last year. Now she’s one of my victims. I’m…taking her home, she wanted to say hi and goodbye to you.

JOHN.
Hi, Linda. Is Art as tough as I hear?

LINDA.
Archeology’s tough. Dr. Jenkins is a fine teacher.

(As
ART
and
LINDA
enter the house:)

ART.
Very politic.

LINDA.
Very true!

(As
JOHN
closes the door,
ART
hands him a book:)

ART.
To read on the road.

JOHN.
(reading)
“Shadows of the Cave – Our Parallels to Early Man,” by Arthur M. Jenkins. Thanks, Art.

ART.
Publish or perish, eh?

JOHN.
I’d certainly rather read than write another book.

ART.
Where are you going? Like we care.

DAN.
We’ve already covered that. He gets itchy feet.

HARRY.
There are over-the-counter remedies for that.

(
JOHN
doesn’t laugh.)

DAN.
Then there is a problem?

JOHN.
No. I just like to move on now and then. It’s a personal thing.

DAN.
Not to pry.

(A long, uncomfortable beat.
JOHN
has shut them all down. They wonder if they should leave …He suddenly warms:)

JOHN.
Well, I can’t offer you much, except seats for your behinds, and conversation. But I do have this!

(pulls out a bottle)

HARRY.
Johnny Walker Blue? I didn’t even know they
made
it in blue! What do they pay you?

JOHN.
Nothing’s too good for my friends. But we’re down to paper cups.

DAN.
A sacrilege I’ll tolerate.

(
JOHN
pours whiskey for them. As he pours
SANDY
’s cup, their eyes meet. Again, she wants to say something, but doesn’t.
JOHN
starts to pour
LINDA
a cup, and she shakes her head.)

LINDA.
Thanks, Dr. Oldman. I don’t drink.

HARRY.
We won’t card you, sweetheart…

(Still, she demurs. Those with cups raise them.)

DAN.
Long life and good fortune to our friend and colleague, John Oldman. May he find undeserved bliss, wherever he goes. Skoal!

(They drink.)

(Moment of silence. Now what?)

ART.
Well, John, we’re all sorry to see you go. Truly. Now what do we do with the rest of the afternoon?

HARRY.
Anyone got a good topic?

(
DAN
has been looking over the bow again. Now he spots something in one of the boxes nearby.)

DAN.
Like this, maybe.

(
DAN
takes the item from the box, turns it over in his hand.
ART
glances over, then reacts with sharp interest.)

ART.
Hey, let me have a look at that!

SANDY.
What is it?

DAN.
A burin. Parrot beak, with inclined chisel point. I’d say probably Magdelanian.

(
DAN
hands the object to
ART
, who inspects it carefully.)

ART.
Sure enough.

LINDA.
What’s a burin?

ART.
A flint tool for grooving wood, bone – especially antlers – to make spear and harpoon points. The Magdelanians weren’t noted for flint work. This is a nice specimen.

HARRY.
Okay. What’s a Magdelanian?

DAN.
A later Cro Magnon, without getting technical. The final culture of the Upper Paleolithic. If stones could speak, eh? Where did you get it, John?

(
JOHN
seems to rouse from introspection.)

JOHN.
Believe it or not, from a thrift shop. For a quarter.

ART.
What a lucky bastard.
I
have to go digging for that kind of stuff!

HARRY.
Can I look at it?

(
JOHN
nods. The burin is passed around.
JOHN
is again looking thoughtful. Finally
LINDA
hands the burin to
JOHN
, who puts it back in the box. A moment of silence.)

JOHN.
Maybe – I’m glad you did this.

DAN.
Did what? You mean, coming over?
(off John’s nod)
“Maybe?”

JOHN.
Definitely.

HARRY.
Gee, thanks.

DAN.
Well, so are we. So are we. We couldn’t let you just run off.

JOHN.
Thanks.

(Another silent moment. Several puzzled expressions.)

HARRY.
What, are you on America’s Most Wanted?

DAN.
Out with it. You’re among friends!

EDITH.
Snoopy friends.

(
JOHN
eyes are distant.)

JOHN.
Forget it.

HARRY.
Confound it, John, you’re
creating
a mystery! Obviously there’s something you’d like to say. Say it!