Read Jet: A Marked Men Novel Online
Authors: Jay Crownover
“Jet, I had no idea you had all of this going on.”
“What do you mean?”
She waved a hand around the studio and strummed the guitar, making a shrill sound.
“The studio, the way you were with those guys. I had no clue you were like some kind of rock god. The way you made those boys sound, I mean you know how much I hate that music, but you made it into something so beautiful.”
I normally shrugged when people complimented what I could do, but if it made her see something more in me, I wasn’t going to brush it off so lightly.
“It’s what I love to do.”
“It’s more than that, isn’t it? It’s what you were born to do.”
“It is.” All that whiskey and mystery, all the things that made Ayden so much more than all the rest, swirled around and flashed at me. I still couldn’t figure her out but when she grinned at me and hooked her arms around my neck and asked if I was ready to go, the only answer I could give her was “Hell, yeah.”
Ayden
I
was running late, which wasn’t like me. But now that I wasn’t spending my nights alone and Jet had a thing for waking me up with his hands and mouth in places that made me blush to think about, it was becoming much more common.
I hadn’t heard from Asa in two days and while everyone was still on edge from the attempted break-in (which I knew was somehow tied to my brother), I hadn’t seen the familiar stranger lurking around anymore. Things were just going along as normal, and I had a sinking feeling that keeping things with Jet on a manageable level was going to be a challenge. The man and the musician in him had layers upon layers that I had never stopped to notice before, and now that I knew that the reality of him so surpassed the fantasy of him, I could feel myself falling into a place I had no intention of going.
Everything he did, he did with an intensity and focus that I had never realized he possessed. He was driven and apparently very much in demand. His phone rang at all hours of the day and night, and he was always running off to set this or that show up, or handle this or that crisis for a band.
There was something going on with his own band that had him keyed up and on edge. He didn’t want to talk about it, but from what I had pieced together, the other guys wanted him to get on board with some kind of tour, and they were annoyed that he just wouldn’t agree. There were also the calls that left him moody and surly for hours on end, and when I asked about those, he would just shrug and change the subject. Since I wasn’t ready to have him pull apart my past, I figured it was best to just let it go. Only it hurt to see the way he struggled with whatever was going on. It also shocked me how much I wanted to be able to help him.
Then there was the fact that he sang to me every night. I don’t know how I was supposed to stop myself from completely falling in love with him, to stop myself from building dreams of something more with him, when every night I fell asleep to that amazing voice lulling me with songs about love and loss. For a guy with a giant tattoo of death on his chest, and devil horns spiked into his ears, he sure knew a lot of old country songs and Southern folk songs. Some nights it was Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline; other nights it was Hank Williams Sr. and Waylon Jennings. I didn’t really like older country, but there was no denying when Jet sang it to me, I could see the difference in the quality of the songwriting compared to what I typically listened to. I also knew that despite all my best intentions there was quickly becoming no other place that I wanted to be than in his arms.
It reminded me of being little and thinking that it was so sad that my mom never sang us lullabies when she put us to bed. All good Southern moms sang to their kids. It was just one more thing that I had missed out on, and had found in this new life I had built for myself.
I was trying to remember if I had finished my homework and if I had grabbed my uniform for work, when I came to a grinding halt. At the base of the stairs that led to the Science building stood two familiar figures, and my stomach dropped all the way to my toes. Adam was nodding his head enthusiastically and a familiar blond was using his hands to dramatically gesture, making Adam throw back his head and laugh.
It wasn’t good that Asa was here, and it was even worse that he had somehow picked out Adam as someone tied to me. I narrowed my eyes at my brother when he turned around and caught sight of me. He grinned and showed all his teeth, and I immediately knew he was up to something. This was his good-ole-boy act and it was designed to be charming and beguiling, while he robbed his victim blind or left a path of destruction in his wake.
“What are you doing here?”
I tried not to flinch when he wrapped an arm around me, and gave me what was supposed to be a brotherly hug. I knew Asa, and this was his way of warning me to play along or there would be consequences.
“Well, you’ve been so busy with school, work, and all your friends, I figured I would just come see where my baby sister is spending all her time. I ran into this here fella and he mentioned you guys were pretty close. I told him it was good that you had a gentleman keeping an eye on you, that you deserve only the best.”
I glared at him out of the corner of my eye and dug my elbow into his ribs until he let me go. “I told you I was busy. I don’t have time to entertain you.” I stared at him until he was forced to look away. I didn’t want him here and whatever he thought he was doing with Adam was stopping right now. “I’m already late for class. We can touch base later.”
I wanted Asa on the first plane back to Kentucky.
Adam touched my arm lightly and gave me his typically friendly grin. “I have some free time. I can show your brother around campus while you’re in class, if you want.”
Oh hell no, that was the last thing I wanted. Adam was too nice of a guy to be left alone with Asa. My brother was working some kind of angle and I needed to figure out what it was.
“No, that’s okay.” I said it at the same time Asa chirped, “That’ll be great.”
We glared at each other out of matching amber eyes. Before, all I had ever wanted was for Asa to protect me, and to take care of me because we were family. I wanted him to see and appreciate the sacrifices made for him. It was only now that I understood that blood didn’t make family and that sacrifice didn’t matter. I had made bad decision after bad decision time and again for my brother, but now I had my own life and my own path, and he wasn’t going to screw it up or drag me back.
Adam must have sensed the tension building between us, because he cleared his throat and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “Well, I’m going to get some coffee. Asa, it was nice to meet you and if you want, the offer of a tour is open, but I’ll let you guys figure it out. Ayd, I gotta say it’s good to see you, you look good.”
I sighed and grabbed my brother’s arm as he made a move to follow Adam. “Thanks. It was nice to see you, too.”
I held on to Asa until Adam disappeared, then jerked him around so that we were face-to-face. I poked him hard in the center of the chest and was satisfied to see him wince.
“What. The. Fuck.”
He rubbed his palm over the place I jabbed and narrowed his eyes at me. “What happened to all those Southern manners you used to have?”
“What are you trying to pull, Asa? I already told you I’m not going there with you anymore. If you think Adam is a pawn, then you are wrong. He’s smart and he’s broke. College students don’t have any money.”
He pushed his blond hair away from his face and propped his hip on the stair rail. I saw a couple of younger girls check him out and wanted to scream at them that guys like Asa were poison, and that they should have a natural defense mechanism to warn them away from men like him. He grinned back at them and then turned to me with nothing but cold calculation in his eyes. This was the Asa I knew. This was the brother that I had fought so hard to separate myself from.
“He might be broke, but his family isn’t, and that boy is head-over-heels in love with you. When I told him I was your older brother, I think it was all he could do not to ask for your hand in marriage.”
I took a step back, like he had physically struck me, and blinked my eyes. “It’s not like that between us. We had a casual thing going on but it’s over.”
“Over for you, not even close for him. He doesn’t even care that you’re hooking up with the guy in the band. I bet he thinks it’s just a phase. After all, what girl can resist a guy in a band, right, Ayd?”
I had to concentrate on my breathing. The fact that he knew about Adam was bad, and the fact that he knew about Jet was worse. I felt my hands curl into tight fists at my sides.
“What is going on, Asa? For real? I’m not playing games with you anymore and if you don’t come clean with me, I have no problem letting several very large, very tattooed guys know that you were behind the break-in at my house. I swear it won’t end in a way you like.”
He narrowed his eyes at me because he hated being threatened, and being threatened by me was just unheard of.
“I told you I was in trouble.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried not to shiver. “What kind of trouble?”
“I took something that didn’t belong to me and now some really bad, really pissed-off people want it back.”
Now there was no stopping the shiver. “What did you take?”
Eyes that matched mine flared with genuine fear and I felt my stomach turn into a cement brick.
“Let’s just say it wasn’t something I can easily replace.”
I figured he meant drugs or money and that meant the people were not bad, but really bad. Once again he was in a situation that was going to lead to the jail or the grave.
“How much money?”
He didn’t answer for a long time. He looked at something over my head for a solid five minutes before letting his gaze settle back on mine.
“Twenty thousand.”
I wanted to throw up. It felt like a punch in the gut. I squeezed my eyes closed and concentrated on breathing in and out slowly.
“Oh my God!”
“I’m in deep, Ayd. They’re going to kill me if I don’t do something.”
“So you’re first thought was, of course, to come screw up everything I’ve worked so hard to build here. It was to come ask me to bail you out like I always do, no matter what that meant for me?”
“We’re family, we take care of each other and do what we have to do to survive.”
I gritted my teeth. “Yeah, only that always meant I had to take care of you, Asa. I’m done. I’m not sleeping with anyone to keep you from getting your legs broken, because that is the only option. I’m not hanging out with guys that are too old for me, or only interested in using me to get you in the door anymore. I’m not doing lines of coke to numb myself and forget how crappy doing all the things I used to do made me feel. I’ve got a good thing going on here and I’m not going to let you or your idiotic choices mess it up.”
He scowled at me. “You won’t help me, but you’ll sleep around with any guy who can play the guitar?”
It was as close as my brother, my flesh and blood, had ever come to admitting that he had some kind of idea of the deplorable things I’d taken upon myself to do in order to keep him in one piece. It made me feel worse about it than I normally did, and I had beaten myself up over the truly awful decisions I’d made back then on a regular basis.
I poked him in the chest again and got in his face. “I sleep with
who
I want
when
I want, Asa. You have no right to say anything, after everything I’ve done for you. I’ll tell you one time: leave Jet alone. He isn’t a nice guy like Adam. He isn’t stupid, and the bumpkin act you have going on isn’t going to fool him.”
He jumped off the stair and glowered up at me. “Oh yeah, and how do you think all your fancy new friends are going to feel about Good-Time Ayd? Do any of them know what you used to do for fun, how you used to get by? Do any of them know where the real you came from, or do they all just see the polished version and take it at face value? Even if Rocker Boy is cool with it, what about the rest of them? Could he still look at you the same if the rest of them decided you were nothing but trailer trash?”
I sucked in a breath and rocked back on my heels. That was exactly what I was afraid of, but it was a cut that went miles deep coming from him. Half those trips around the block had been because of him because I was forever wanting to save him. Most of the things that I wanted to keep buried now were because of him. To this day I still never had concrete proof that Asa had any idea of the lengths I had gone to to keep him alive and breathing. And if he did know, how he could dare ask me to give him even more. And if he didn’t know, the fact that he never asked any questions about it was frankly just as heartbreaking. I loved my brother, and I liked to think somewhere in someplace inside he loved me back, but I just wasn’t sure and that’s why I could never trust him fully.
I pulled the cloak of indifference that I had been building since the last time I saw Woodward around me and headed up the steps so I could go to class without bothering to engage him further. I was pissed because the class was now almost halfway over.
“It doesn’t matter. What I’m doing with Jet is none of your business, and I have no intention of being invested enough to let my past matter or not. Stay away from Adam, and stay away from me. If I can think of a way to help you with the money, I will, but this is it, Asa. I’m not doing this with you or for you. I think it would kill me to have to bury you after everything I’ve done for you, and I deserve better than that.”
“I don’t have a whole lot of time for this to happen, Ayd, so even if you can’t help I still have to figure something out.”
“I guess you should have thought about that before you decided to rip a bunch of criminals off.”
He put that smile on again that made my skin crawl. “A leopard can’t change its spots, sis. Maybe it would do you some good to remember that.”
I watched him walk away and felt like the world was shifting under my feet. Asa was ruthless—he was a survivor and he didn’t care who he hurt or who he stepped on to get what he wanted. I needed to come up with something fast or he was going to systematically dismantle my entire life here in Denver.
I let out a startled yelp when a hand landed on my shoulder. Shaw held up her hands in surrender and laughed at me.
“A little bit jumpy, are we?”
I groaned and shoved my hands through my hair. “Yeah, you could say that.”
Her bright green eyes sharpened with concern. “Is everything all right?”
She was my best friend. She loved me and I knew she wouldn’t judge me. Only letting her all the way in, letting her have access to all the dirt and vitriol Asa brought up, froze me solid from the inside out.
“Yeah, I guess I’m just on edge still. You know, keeping both eyes open and all that.”
“It’s probably better to be safe than sorry.”
I nodded absently and resigned myself to the fact I was going to miss class and have to figure out a way to get my hands on a whole lot of money really fast.