Jilted: Promise Harbor, Book 1 (4 page)

What Devon didn’t understand then, and probably never would, was why her mom hadn’t taken her with her.

“That must have been difficult,” Susan said in a gentle voice. “I can’t imagine leaving my children.”

“You have children?”

“Yes. They’re both away at college.” In answer to the questioning look Devon flashed her, she added, “I’m divorced.”

Devon nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s a good thing, believe me. But when my husband and I split up, I would have fought to the death to keep my kids with me.”

Devon bent her head and scrubbed at a plate.

Why hadn’t her mom taken her with her?

She’d asked herself that question a million times. She’d wanted to go with her. Not that she didn’t love her dad. But a girl wants her mother, and she’d always loved it when her mom took her on those big-city trips. She was fascinated by her mom’s family’s life, by the big city, by skyscrapers and boutiques and elegant restaurants. She wanted that too, and when her mom had left to resume that life without her, she’d been devastated.

The day Mom had left, Devon had cried and begged her to take her with her. Her mom had told her to stop crying because she looked awful. So she’d swallowed hard, wiped her tears and tried to smile. But her mom had left without her anyway. After that, Devon had that vowed nobody would ever see her cry again.

Now, she only had contempt for a mother who could do something like that, but at the time, she’d known her mother was leaving her because she wasn’t good enough to fit into that life. Neither was her dad, with his sun- and windburned face, calloused hands and worn work clothes. So they had to stay together while Mom went to live the life she’d always wanted.

“Your father is a good man,” Susan said. “I suppose your mom knew that she could trust him to look after you.”

Devon’s chest ached. Sure, Dad was a good man. And yes, he’d looked after her. But there’d been a lot missing from her life.

“My dad changed after my mom left,” she said quietly. “He was never one to talk a lot, kind of the strong, silent type, you know?”

Susan smiled and nodded and picked up a towel to dry the plates she’d just washed.

“He used to talk more, though. And laugh, and smile. But after my mom left…he didn’t smile much anymore.”

He’d lifted his chin, squared his shoulders and told Devon she’d have to help with meals and chores more. She’d tried to talk to him, to ask him what had happened. She wanted…
needed
to know it wasn’t her fault Mom had left. But he refused to talk about it, and their life continued as it always had but without the vibrant fun and glamour Mom had brought into it, instead becoming dull and gray.

She didn’t tell Susan all that, though. Telling people about stuff like that was uncomfortable. She’d never wanted people to feel sorry for her, so she always pretended things were fine and never complained or whined. She never cried. She just carried on, like Dad wanted her to.

The only person who knew about that was Allie. When Devon had started hanging around with her, Allie’s family had dazzled her. They talked and laughed and did fun things together. They put up a Christmas tree and decorated it every year, and they baked birthday cakes for every birthday and had parties even for the adults. She was sure they felt sorry for her, for the way her mom had left and the way her dad treated her. Not that he treated her badly—it wasn’t abuse or anything—but eating frozen turkey and stuffing dinners on Christmas day with no Christmas decorations whatsoever was pretty pathetic.

But as with everything else, she pretended she was fine.

Chapter Three

Josh squinted at the label on the beer bottle he held, trying to focus his eyes on it with considerable difficulty. “Is this beer really called Bromance?” he asked Jackson, his best friend and the best man at his wedding tomorrow. They’d been sitting in Stone’s Sports Bar for the last…how long? Josh had lost track, and all his other buddies had headed home. Only he and Jackson were left after going out with the guys the night before the wedding.

“Yes. Bromance Brown Ale.”

Josh nodded. “Okay. Good. I love you, man.”

“Maybe time to get you home,” Jackson said.

“No. I don’t wanna go home yet.”

“Why not?”

Josh now tried to focus on the wood grain of the small table. How could he tell Jackson the truth? He didn’t want to go home because then he’d go to bed and fall asleep—or pass out—and when he woke up it would be his wedding day.

“I might be having cold feet,” he mumbled.

Jackson leaned closer. “What’s that? What’d you say?”

Josh sighed. “I might be having cold feet.”

Jackson’s eyebrows flew up. “About the wedding?”

“No, about getting up from this table.” Then he laughed loudly. Damn, he was funny. Drunk, but funny.

“Shit, man, are you serious? You want to back out of the wedding?”

“No. Of course not. I wouldn’t do that.”

Jackson eyed him. “But you have doubts.”

Josh sighed. “Doesn’t every guy before he straps on the old ball and chain?” Then he slumped a little. He’d never thought of Allie as a “ball and chain” and that was really unfair. She was awesome and he wanted to marry her. He did. “Didn’t mean that,” he mumbled.

“I guess some guys do.” Jackson grimaced and shoved a hand through his hair. “I’ve never had the guts to even propose to someone, so I wouldn’t know. But yeah, it’s probably normal to feel a little nervous about it. It’s a big step. It’s serious.”

“Yeah. Serious. You’re not helping, dude.”

Jackson grinned. “Sorry. Okay, how’s this. You’ve known Allie forever. You love her. You love her family. They love you. Your mom is thrilled to pieces about this. The whole town is behind you on this. There’s nothing to be afraid of. You two are going to have a long and happy life together.”

Josh nodded, still looking down at the table. “Still not helping.”

Jackson gave him a hearty slap on the back, nearly knocking him off his stool. “You’ll be fine. Once you’re up there at the front of the church watching Allie walk down the aisle looking like a million bucks, you’ll be so glad you’re marrying her.”

Josh picked up his Bromance Brown Ale and drained it. “Right. Absholutely. Can’t wait.”

“Fuck.” Jackson eyed him. With all four or maybe five eyes. “You’re hammered.”

“No I am not.” Josh straightened. “I’m fine. Let’s have another round.”

“Nope. I am doing my best man duty and hauling your ass out of here. You’re already going to need a large bottle of Tylenol and a jug of Visine in the morning.”

“Oh, all right.” Josh slid off the stool and held on to the table for a moment when the floor shifted just a bit underneath his feet. Hey, was that an earthquake? If there was a major earthquake they probably wouldn’t be able to have the wedding tomorrow.

That was stupid. He
wanted
to marry Allie.

“I need a burger,” he announced.

Jackson rolled his eyes. “Okay, big guy. Let’s head to Barney’s and then I’ll take you home.”

“Yeah. Barney’s. I can have a hickory burger. And fries.” For some reason, at that moment Devon popped into his head. Sitting at Barney’s Chowder House eating hickory burgers with her. That was her favorite burger too. Guess Barney’s hickory burger was always going to be associated with her in his mind.

His fucked-up, shit-faced mind.

They walked the short distance from the bar to Barney’s, the June evening clear and fresh. Josh took deep breaths of the faintly briny air of Promise Harbor, the Atlantic Ocean not far away no matter where you were. He loved living here, even though it had been a tough decision to move back last year. What the hell was he so worried about? Living here as a married man wasn’t going to be any different than living here as a single guy.

Did that make
any
sense? Of course it would be different. He’d be
married
.

Inside Barney’s, people filled nearly every booth and table. Friday night. Right. But Josh and Jackson found an empty table and took a seat.

“You know,” Jackson said. “If you’re seriously having doubts about getting married, it’s not too late.”

Josh gave him a crooked smile. “Sure it is.”

“No. It’s not too late until the vows are said.” Jackson leaned across the table, his face serious. “If you want to run, I’ll drive us to Mexico tonight. Just say the word.”

“Mexico?” Josh lifted an eyebrow.

“Or wherever.”

Josh shook his head. “You know I can’t do that. I made a promise to Allie. I always keep my word.”

“Yeah. You always do.” Jackson grinned. “You are a man of honor.”

“Damn right.” The scent of seafood chowder, charbroiled burgers and greasy French fries filled his head and made his stomach growl. “I’m a man of honor,” he told the waitress who arrived to take their order. “And I’m fucking starving.”

She blinked at him.

“Don’t mind him,” Jackson said with a smile for the teenage girl. “He’s getting married tomorrow.”

“I am,” he said. “To the most wonderful woman in the world.”

But once again, Devon’s face appeared in his mind. What the fuck? Why did he keep thinking of her tonight? Then he blinked. Blinked again. And shook his head.

He wasn’t just imagining her face. She was right there in front of him, sitting in the booth across from them.

Holy fuck.

He stared at her. She stared back at him.

“Devon,” he breathed.

Jackson’s head snapped around. “Devon?”

Josh swallowed. His heart might have stopped. He had to get it going again or he would die. And he couldn’t die the day before his wedding. But there…yeah, his heart was going again. Fast. Hard. That might be worse. Now he was afraid it was going to explode out of his chest. He looked at Jackson. “Allie invited her to the wedding.”

“Jesus Christ.”

She was sitting by herself in the small booth, a half-eaten hickory burger in front of her on the table, looking back at him with wide eyes and parted lips. Her long chestnut hair hung around her shoulders, and those sexy, tilted eyes blinked at him. Then she smiled, a sort of sad little smile that made him ache. “Hi, Josh.”

“Devon. Hey.” The next thing he knew he was sitting across from her, still staring at her. “How are you?”

Devon’s throat closed up and her hands trembled, so she clasped them together in her lap beneath the table.
Why
had she come here? She’d been hanging around at home with her dad. He’d gone to bed, and she’d tried to but couldn’t sleep. For some crazy reason, she’d decided to visit Barney’s Chowder House and have a hickory burger. Not that she was hungry, but she loved Barney’s hickory burgers and here she was in Promise Harbor, and…why not? And now Josh was sitting across from her, staring at her.

“Devon. Hey,” he said. “How are you?”

“Good. I’m good. How are you?”

“Good.” A pause. “I’m drunk.”

“Oh. Okay.” A smile tugged her lips. Jeebus Crust, he was so damn gorgeous he made her heart constrict. His dark brown hair was standing on end in every direction, and his golden-brown eyes gazed back at her with somewhat unfocused intensity. A scruff of beard darkened his square jaw, and his wide mouth curved up into a sheepish smile. “I guess that’s allowed the night before your wedding.”

“Yeah.” His eyes shadowed. “I’m getting married tomorrow, Devon.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here.” Her heart now softened, looking at his long lashes lowering over amber eyes, his short, straight nose, his beautiful mouth. Images bombarded her—her stroking a finger down his nose, kissing the corners of that mouth, running her hands through his hair, nuzzling his neck, breathing in his scent.

He tipped his head to one side. “I didn’t think you would come.”

Her chest was so tight she could hardly breathe. “Well. Um. I wanted to come and…and wish you a-and A-Allie all the best.” She
hated
how her voice stuttered.

He nodded slowly, his face solemn. “Really?”

No.
“Yes.”

“Have you seen Allie?”

“No.” She didn’t think she could. She hadn’t thought she could face her, either. She’d pictured herself sitting in the church, just one of the two hundred or so other guests there to witness their vows. But now Josh sat right in front of her.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, and yet so much she couldn’t say to him.
Josh.
Pressure built behind her eyes and cheekbones. Emotion swelled inside her.
Why are you marrying her? What about me? What happened to us, Josh? What is she giving you that I couldn’t? Just living here in Promise Harbor? Is that it?

After Josh had left, after she’d cried for about a week and spent the next six months wavering between anger and depression, she’d told herself that someday she would meet someone else. Someone like him. Someone honorable and brave and loyal. There was another man out there, someone like him, but someone who’d honor
her
, someone who’d be loyal to
her
.