Authors: liz schulte
“So let’s just say I’m here for the baby.”
Selene let out an impatient huff and looked back to me. “Ignore him. I went to the underworld and brought back the Pole of Charon and then it was stolen from me. There’s a good chance that whatever is here now, is here because of the pole.”
I nodded, trying to remember my mythology. “That’s how the souls are taken across the river Styx, right?”
She nodded. “I got it back and returned it, but I honestly don’t know what they did with it.”
“When did you return it?”
“Two weeks ago. The same night Baker died.”
I closed my eyes. It was completely possible that is what they used and that was what they distracted us from with the tunnel. Son of bitch. I knew that room was set up. I should always go with my gut.
Sy squeezed my shoulder, and his eyes were soft and emoting sympathy, which made my insides harden. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrugged off his hand. Why didn’t I tell him? Because it was none of his damn business. He didn’t know Baker and I didn’t want his sympathy. Or maybe I just didn’t want to be vulnerable with him or anyone right now. I needed space to lick my wounds. “That sounds likely, all right. Who had the pole?”
“A hoodoo priestess that Baker introduced me to, but Charon took her back with him and the pole.”
This sucked. I pulled out my phone and texted Olivia and Holden. They both needed to be back here now.
“Femi,” Sy said in a too caring voice.
“Give it a rest,” I snapped. “I’m fine. This is why I didn’t tell you. Now you’re hovering and it’s pissing me off. I’m not fragile and we don’t need you here. Go back to the Office. Selene will be fine.”
Something very close to hurt flashed in his eyes and he frowned at me. His mouth opened, but Selene spoke up first.
“Femi’s right. Everyone handles this sort of thing in their own way and you really don’t
need
to be here right now.” She stood up, took him by the arm, and lead him to the door, talking quietly enough I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
Maggie gave me a sympathetic smile. “At least he cares.”
I rubbed my temples. I just really wanted to do something mindless, like capture a bounty. All the stakes in this mess were too high and it was sucking the fun out of the job. There was too much death. “Well, he can care out of my sight.” I crossed my legs, then uncrossed them and crossed them again in the other direction.
Holden and Olivia arrived a few minutes later. Holden’s eyes burned and flames licked at his neck as he stalked off without saying anything to anyone, slamming a door behind him. Olivia’s eyes trailed after him and she chewed on her lower lip. Finally she blinked a few times and greeted Selene with a hug.
“You both look well,” she said, stepping back and glancing from Selene’s face to her stomach and back. “How is everything?”
Selene hestitated, but shook it off. “I’m great—and I think for once, it is me who can help you. Come sit down. Show me where you were stabbed.”
Olivia started to shake her head. “I really don’t think you can do anything, but—”
“Let her try,” I said. “Or I’ll hold you down and make you.”
Olivia sat in the chair and unbuttoned her top. Her pale, nearly translucent skin was marred by a deep gash about two inches long. Jagged black lines webbed across her chest from the opening, and a trickling light seeped out, her soul. My heart all but stopped. I’d done this to her. Selene lowered herself to the coffee table and put a hand over her mouth as she stared.
“Well, is there anything you can do?” I blurted, when I couldn’t take the suspense any longer.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Selene said. Her hand hovered over Olivia. “May I?” she asked.
“Sure,” Olivia said, her face completely neutral as Selene gently touched the wound.
Selene drew in a sharp breath, her hand snapping back. She shuddered and shook out her arm. “That was intense.” She let out a slow breath and reached toward Olivia with trembling fingers, and once again barely grazed the stream of light. She closed her eyes and something shimmered like diamonds between the palm of her hand and Olivia, but nothing changed. Selene frowned, dropping her hand back to her lap. “Can I see the knife you used?”
Holden handed it to her. I hadn’t even noticed him coming back out of the war room, but he looked normal again, no flames.
Selene held the weapon flat in her hands and studied it closely. “I’ve never felt magic like this before. It’s raw and ancient and reminds me of what I felt when I had the Pole of Charon.” She looked up at us, debate evident in her eyes. Finally she swallowed and nodded like she had made some sort of decision. “I have to research it.”
Olivia looked sad. “It’s too powerful for you.”
Selene looked back at it. “Maybe not. I don’t really know until I try, and I will try.”
Olivia shook her head. “I appreciate that, but I have another option. We don’t have to like it, but the choice is there for me to make. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and believe that everything will work out as it should.” She glanced at Holden. “Who we are is a result of the decisions we make, not the way we are born. Anyone can be a saint or a monster on any given day. That’s why the choices we make matter. It’s up to us to each live the life we want to live.”
He stared back at her. “Go ahead. Finish that thought. What does that say to you about me?”
“It says that you protected and cared for the human part of yourself all of these years because deep down you never wanted to be what you were. The only thing that holds you back is you. You’re afraid you cannot control what you are and if you try to truly embrace the good it will make you weak and you will fail.”
His face turned to stone, but he nodded a little. “And what do your decisions say about you?”
Her chin lifted.
“Go ahead, Liv. Point that analytical eye at yourself. What have you chosen to be?”
The air in the room thickened between them. Hostility and anger and fear swirled around me. Maggie and Selene shifted uncomfortably.
Olivia looked back to Selene. “You can keep looking if you want, because that is who you are, but know that I don’t expect anything from you. I have come to terms with the decision I need to make. Take care of yourself and the baby first and foremost. What is meant to happen will.” With that she stood and walked out of the room.
“There has to be a loophole. There’s always a loophole,” Selene said.
Holden rubbed the back of his neck. “Not always.” He left in the same direction Olivia did.
“Why is she so set on giving up?” Selene whispered to me.
“I wish I knew. If it were any one of the rest of us, she’d fight for us until the last possible moment.”
Selene nodded, and I continued. “I thought it was because she was fighting with Holden, but I don’t think that’s it.”
“I promise I will do whatever I can.”
“Thank you,” I said. I had to get out of there and clear my head. Emotions were coloring my thoughts and that was no way to live. I walked Selene to the door. “Tell Cheney I’m sorry I threatened his life.”
Her head jerked and she blinked at me. “Okay.” She transported herself home.
The steady thump of Maggie’s foot against the floor was the only sound. I hadn’t done a very good job watching out for her. Honestly, it was hard to look at her most of the time, knowing she killed Baker. But then again, she had to live with that every single day, just like I would have to live with it if Olivia died. My phone buzzed in my back pocket. It was a text from Sy. “Have a case for you. Not optional. Come ASAP.”
I glanced back at Maggie, Baker’s voice gnawing at my conscience. Shit. “Let’s go find some trouble,” I told her.
She looked left and right. “Are you talking to me?”
I nodded. “I have to go and you obviously need to burn off some energy. There’s a great big world of people out there just itching for a fight. Let’s give ‘em hell.”
She struggled to bite back a smile. “Are you sure? You’re not afraid that I will…” She gestured helplessly because who knew what she’d do if she became desperate.
“Unpredictability is my game.” I tilted my head toward the door. “Come on.”
She followed me out. “Why are you being nice to me?”
I shook my head, charging forward. “It’s one of the great mysteries of life.”
I stood in the kitchen, worry smothering me.
The meeting with Death didn’t go exactly as I had hoped. I wanted him to be able to ease Holden’s mind, but instead we were only left with more questions. He wouldn’t tell us where he took Holden’s brother. In fact, he seemed determined to talk about anything else.
At first he looked truly pleased to see me, which was both creepy and in some odd way comforting too. I couldn’t really explain his magnetism. He existed somewhere between fear and the sense of coming home, both intimidating and inviting. “Have you decided already?” he asked, his gravelly voice sending chills down my spine.
Holden placed a possessive hand on my shoulder, as if he could physically keep me from going to him.
I shook my head, forcing myself to meet Death’s gaze. He wasn’t going to intimidate me. “I am here about something else.”
His heavy, endless eyes danced in anticipation as if he couldn’t quite imagine what else could matter to me right now.
“Do you remember all the souls you take?”
His mouth chewed on the air and he unblinkingly stared at me. “Which one do you want to know about?”
“My brother,” Holden said.
Death’s lips came together and his head straightened. “Tell me, when is the last time you spoke with your father?”
Heat from Holden’s hand poured into my shoulder. Father? What? But I pushed back my questions, as walls shot up around Holden. Whatever the story was, it wasn’t something we needed to get into today. “We just want to know if Thomas went to purgatory. That’s all,” I said.
“That isn’t the question that will give you the answers you seek.”
“What is the question then?” Holden asked.
“Family is so important. It shapes who we are and who we become. The injuries inflicted upon us shape our futures in ways you fail to see. The past is over. Picking it apart will only further complicate your future. What you must ask yourself is who you are now and who you will be.”
Anger washed over Holden and, by proximity, me.
“You are slipping, jinni. You have grown too powerful and you will soon drown in those abilities. The council’s offer could help you in ways you are not yet aware you need help. But your plight is not the same as Olivia’s. Look to yourself to find the answers you seek.”
“If I wanted my fortune told I would’ve went to a carnival or bought a cookie,” Holden said. “Let’s get out of here, Liv.”
Death held out his hand to me, and my fingers itched to take it. “I have offered you my help already. Either you will accept it or you will not. That is all I can do for you.”
Holden tried to turn me, but I resisted, my hand halfway to Death’s before I realized what I was doing. I clenched it into a fist and forced it back down to my side. “I still have time.”
“Destiny is rarely thwarted. You know that better than most,” he said. “Delaying only hurts you. The jinni will find his own way. Your paths have separated.”
“Then we will walk in the grass,” I said.
“A snake thrives in the darkness and it is coming for you both.” With that he vanished.
We didn’t talk on the way home. Holden was furious. He would burst into flames then extinguish them only to do it all again. I reached for him to help, but he pulled away. Femi was waiting for us with Selene. Holden and I needed to talk. We needed to make some honest decisions, but I let him walk away and I played along with Femi and Selene because I knew they cared. This wasn’t the sort of injury that magic could heal. I could feel it spreading through me and emptying my reserves. Death was snaking its way through my veins and if I wanted to stop it, I had to be willing to give up who I wanted to be.
Holden asked me what my decisions said about me, but I honestly didn’t know. Everything I did, everything I chose, throughout the course of my life leading to this moment was less about me and more about others. In fact, the only choice I had made selfishly was when I decided to be a jinni with Holden, but he stopped that decision. So while I made it, it never came about. I blended with the angel because I realized how woefully unprepared we were for what was coming. She had the power to save us and I stepped aside so she could. I chose to fight the guardians because people were dying and I was the only one who could help them. I chose to go to Holden because I loved him, but he also needed me as much as I needed him. All I ever wanted to do was help people, but it kept me from being honest with myself about what
I
really wanted.