Jock: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (101 page)

“
H
ere
, take this.”

I look up from toying with the black ski mask in my hand to see Jerry, one of Declan’s “guys” looking at me blankly. I feel sluggish, my head still drowning slowly in my thoughts and my regrets - thinking of Ivy, and the way I just watched her run away from me.

Something horrible inside of me wonders if this time, it really
will
be the last time I watch her do that.

I blink at Jerry. “Huh?”

He frowns and gestures down with his eyes. I follow them, and something seizes up in my chest.

He’s holding a gun, handle towards me.

“What the fuck is this?” I growl, finally finding my voice as I shake my head and lean away from the offered gun.

Declan snorts from the front passenger seat. “It’s a nine millimeter, kid. The hell does it look like?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You said no guns.”

“I lied.”

Jerry chuckles. “No guns? Who the fuck do you think we’re ripping off here, a pizza place?”

“You
said
no guns,” I say again, my voice cold and my pulse thudding in my veins.

“Look I know what I said,” Declan turns, pulling his sunglasses down to look at me. “Deal with it.” He nods at the gun. “Take the fucking gun, kid. You probably won’t have to use it anyways.”

Probably.

It’s heavy in my hand - cold metal pressed into the hot palm of my hand. I check the safety, notice that there’s a round chambered, and then double check the safety again as we pull out of Declan’s ritzy neighborhood.

What the fuck am I doing?

There’s something screaming inside of me, there in the back of that van with a gun in one hand and a mask in the other. Because here I am making the
exact
same mistake I made eight years ago. I can lie to myself and say I’m doing this to protect the ones I love, but I know it’s more than that. I know that deep down, I’m drawn to this. Deep down, underneath the man I’d like to say I’ve become, I know I’m still the same thing I’ve always been.

The wrong little boy, from the wrong side of town.

The troublemaker.

The rule breaker.

The thief.

Deep down, this comes naturally, and underneath the pain and the heartache and the regrets, I know there’s something else there.

Excitement.

It’s like a horrible little junky’s itch - the addiction of the steal creeping up inside like some sort of waking dragon.

And I hate it. I hate it because it means no matter what I’ve said and done and strived for over the last eight years, I’m still the same fucking dumb kid looking for trouble that I was before.

I think it was Einstein that said stupidity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. And here I am doing the same damn thing all over again. Here I am on the same path, making the same mistakes. I am
exactly
the same guy I was all those years ago, making the same mistakes, breaking the same girl’s heart all over again.

Except you’re not.

The voice growls inside of me, tearing up from the depths of me and making my head spin.

I’m fucking
not
the same dumb kid I was back then. I’ve grown up. I’ve bled, and made mistakes, and learned what it truly means to lose. Eight years ago I was an idiot doing some dumb shit with no conceivable idea of what the consequences would be. I was in love with a girl who I didn’t deserve in a million fucking years, and I thought I had something to prove to her.

I thought I had something to prove to myself about being good enough for her.

Except that was all bullshit inside my own head, and I know that now. I
know
now that she loved me for
me
back then. I
know
now that the only
proving
I had to do was to myself, inside my own damn head.

I have no idea how she feels about me now, or if she could ever find her way back to loving me the way she did when we were kids, but there’s a moment there in the back of that van, with a gun in my hand and the weight of the world on my heart, that I know…

I know I truly am damned and lost if I let the chance to find out slip away.

I truly am forgotten if I lose that girl again.

And I know right then that it’s time to prove I’m as good as she always thought I was. It’s time to be the man I’m supposed to be.

For her.

And I know what I have to do.

“Stop the van.”

Jerry turns to me, raising an eyebrow.

The van keeps moving.

“I said
stop the fucking van!
”

The words roar out of me, and this time Declan, both other guys, and even the driver shoot me looks.

Declan laughs, breaking the sudden stillness. “He’s got nerves.” He chuckles, turning to glance at me as he brings a flask to his lips. “I told you you’d gotten soft kid-”

He goes silent as the gun in my hand presses to his chest.

Jerry and one of the other guys go for their own guns, but I jerk my head around and shake it at them. “Don’t.” I shake my head. “Don’t try me.”

I turn back to my uncle.

“Stop the van, Declan.”

My voice is level, even this time, and the whole car goes dead silent.

Declan’s face darkens, his eyes dropping to focus on the gun. “Alright, listen kid, I don’t know what your play is here, but-”

“
Now
, Declan.”

The driver glances nervously at him, and my uncle nods. “Stop the fucking car.”

We slow and pull to the side of the road out of town.

“What’s your play here, Silas,” Declan says quietly, his eyes narrowed to slits at me.

“I’m out. That’s my play.”

Declan swears. “Jesus fucking Christ, kid!” he seethes. “We’re on a time limit here! We have a
plan
to-”

“Fuck your plan, Declan,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I’ve got my own plan now.”

I keep the gun to his chest as I reach for the side door, sliding it open and slowly stepping out.

I keep the gun trained on him.

“You walk away from this you’re walking away from family, you little bastard,” Declan growls. ‘And in case you fucking forgot, let me remind you that accidents happen to other-”

“Declan, stop talking.” I shake my head at him. “You’re my uncle and in the interest of family and my mom, I’m going to say this once. Don’t do this job.”

He rolls his eyes.

“Dec, you’ve got a wife who loves you for God knows what reasons, you’ve got money, what the fuck are you even-”

“Ain’t nothing in this world free unless you take it, right kid?”

I shake my head. “You’ve been saying that for years, and you know what?”

I smile thinly at him.

“It’s bullshit.”

I turn to the others. “Guns on the ground outside the van. Now. You can grab them when I’m a hundred feet down the road.”

They hesitate for a second before I press the gun against Declan’s neck, and then they do as I say.

I turn back to my uncle. “Last warning, Dec. You don’t have to do this, you know.”

He sneers at me. “You know what? Fine. Walk away you ungrateful little bastard. This ain’t over though, between you and me.”

I keep the gun leveled at him as I slowly back away from the van.

“Yes it is.”

I’m done.

I turn and start to jog, almost expecting to feel a bullet in my back. But there’s only the sound of distant swearing, of the van door swinging shut with a thud, and of the tires kicking up gravel as the crew roars off to the job.

Without me.

I watch the van until it’s out of sight around a corner. Then I turn, and I start to run.

I run like I’ve been late to get somewhere for eight fucking years, and now it’s my last chance to get there. I wipe the gun down with the edge of my shirt, and as I run down the shore road, I chuck it over the bluffs into the ocean.

Because that’s not me.

My feet pound the road as I run back into Shelter Harbor like a man on fire. I’m
done
making the same mistakes, and walking the same path, and watching myself lose the same girl all over again. Not this time.
This time
, I’m stopping myself before the fall, and I’ll be damned if I let myself lose her again.

And this time, I’m ready to tell the whole fucking world that I love her, come hell or high water.

T
he pickup roars
into the Hammond driveway, cranking to a shuddering halt as I turn off the engine.

And suddenly, here I am; right back at the house I haven’t been to in years. The place I grew up - my other family until I let them all down.

My steps slow as I approach the big white farmhouse, and I take a deep breath as my feet follow the familiar path up through Irene’s manicured lavender bushes and honeysuckle plants.

I used to live here, really.

This used to be my home, and I know that now that it’s been gone from my life all these years, more than I ever did before.

The front door slams open suddenly.

Rowan.

He narrows his eyes at me as he steps out onto the front porch. His face looks furious as a he jabs a finger at me.

“
You.
”

I swallow, stepping towards him. “Row,” I hold my hands up.

“You got a lot of fucking balls coming here, you fucking prick.”

Tell me about it
.

I shake my head. “Hang on, buddy.”

“Don’t!” He growls, scowling at me as he steps to the top step of the porch, glowering down at me.

“Don’t fucking
buddy
me, man.” His nostrils flare as he shakes his head at me. “All these years, I fuckin stuck up for you and kept in touch as best I could, and I even
forgave you
for walking away like that.”

“Rowan-”

“You fucking
married her
?”

Aww, shit.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Silas! You didn’t just walk away from my sister, you fucking
abandoned her!
”

He jabs a finger at me again as he takes another step down towards me.

“What kind of fucking man does-”

“
Rowan
!” My voice booms from my lips, stopping him short as I step right up to him.

“You know what?” I’m shouting now, right there on the front porch, but I’m not even nearly done.

“I was
every bit
the fucking coward you want to think I was,” I growl. “I was young, and stupid, and scared.”

I take a deep breath, meeting his eye and hoping to God the friend I once knew remembers it too.

“And I’ve paid for that. I’ve changed, Row, you
know
I’ve changed.”

He says nothing.

But he also doesn’t punch me in the face, which I’m going to count as a win.

“Rowan,” I take a breath. “You’re my best friend, man.”

“Best friends don’t walk away and flee the country, you prick.”

I smirk. “I deserve that. You
get
why I left, right?”

He looks away, running his hand through his hair. He nods.

“But I came back.”

“Yeah,” he mutters, turning and grinning a small grin at me. “I guess you did.”

“And I’m not leaving, Rowan,” I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder. “Not this time. I’m not leaving you, or this family.”

He nods and my jaw tenses.

“And I’m not leaving Ivy, not now and not ever.”

He glares at me, our eyes meeting as we stand there in brimming silence for a full ten seconds. But then suddenly, he’s nodding. He gives me a grim smile and clapping me on the back as he hugs me tight like the brothers we once were.

“Good enough for me. Let’s go.”

I frown. “Go where?”

He growls, almost to himself as he fishes a set of keys out of his back pocket.

“To the pier.”

He pushes past me and moves towards his motorcycle parked in the driveway against the garage.

“Rowan, where the fuck are you-”

“Look!” He whirls and jabs a finger in my face.

“You want to make good with my sister? You want to do the right thing to the girl you fuckin’ married?”

I frown, and I start to open my mouth when he cuts me off by chucking a helmet into my hands.

“She’s taking off, Silas. She’s leaving Shelter Harbor. They’re dropping her off at the ferry now.”

Oh fuck.

Rowan jumps on the bike and revs the engine. “Get on.”

I eye the bike dubiously and he rolls his eyes.

“Get on the bike, pussy.”

I yank the helmet on and swing on behind him.

“Hey,” he turns, grinning at me as we start to pull out of the driveway. “How poetically fucked up would it be if
I
crashed us this time and broke
your
leg?”

A lump forms in my throat.

Rowan laughs loudly. “I’m just fucking with you, man. Let’s go stop your wife.”

Y
et again
, I’m taking the ferry over the probably more sensible train back to Boston to catch a flight back to New York. But somehow, it feels like a fitting book-end to this debacle of a trip.

I look out at the breakers at the mouth of the harbor, running the tally inside my head. Let’s see, minus one shitty boyfriend, minus one arguably shittier assistant, I’m being sued for breach of contract by my management company, and I may or may not be needed for questioning in conjunction with a possible armed robbery.

Nice, Ivy. Nice.

I’ve also lost the only man who ever truly had my heart.

Again.

Stella strokes my back as we all stand there on the pier, my parents off to one side as we all wait for the ferry that’ll take me away from here.

“You’ve got Beth’s number, right?”

It’s the fifth time Sierra’s asked if I have her lawyer-friend’s number. I nod.

“It might not be her kind of case, but she’ll know people.”

She means my upcoming fight with my own management company over the whole gala debacle.

I smile at her. “I got it, thanks.”

“Bye-bye?”

Carter tugs on my shirt, and I reach down to snatch him up.

“Yeah, buddy, I’m going bye-bye.”

He pouts.

Yeah, I’m definitely going bye-bye. I think I’ve done
quite
enough mayhem to my own life in the span one trip to Shelter Harbor. It’s time to head back to New York and see if I can try and put things back together.

And at least there, there’s no family around to get the blowback from any of my self-destructive decisions.

“With the fish man?” Carter says earnestly.

I raise a brow at Stella.

“Translate for me?”

My older sister gives me a wry look as she takes Carter into her own arms. “Eh, it’s nothing.”

She looks away and I furrow my brow.

“What?”

Stella glances at Mom and Dad, who’re still standing apart from us, looking out at the Harbor.

“Silas taught him to catch a fish. He hasn’t stopped talking about it.”

I swallow. “When did he meet Silas?”

“Yesterday, when you were in Boston. I thought he should meet his nephew.” She gives me a guilty look. “Sorry, Ivy, I was just trying to help.”

“I know,” I smile. “Thanks.”

“You sure you want to leave?”

I nod. “I think I’ve had enough Shelter Harbor for a while.”

Sierra makes a face. “How long of a while?”

“Ask me at Christmas.”

“Fish man!”

Sierra laughs, and Stella rolls her eyes.

“Yeah honey, the fish man.”

She gives me a look. “Sorry. He’ll be onto something else next time you see him.”

“Fish man!”

She glances at her son. “Carter, honey-”

“Fish man!”

Carter’s grabbing her arms, pointing over her shoulder.

“Carter, what is-”

But I’m following his little finger as I turn and look down the pier.

And there he is.

He’s running towards us, his face fierce and his eyes grim, looking
right
at me.

“Silas?” Sierra says incredulously.

Our parents turn, and Dad suddenly scowls as he moves between me and the man running towards me.

“Hold up there, son.”

Silas stops short, sucking in a breath of air before meeting my dad’s eye.

“No, sir.”

Jacob Hammond’s face darkens as he draws his full frame up.

“Excuse me?”

Silas holds his ground.

“I said no, sir. Respectfully.”

“Son, you need to-”

“You’re the only family I’ve ever known,” Silas says, his voice almost breaking like the heart in my chest.

“And this is the only place where I belong.
Right here
, with the only people who’ve ever felt like home.”

Rowan comes jogging up behind him, puffing as he winks at me.

My dad eyes Silas. “You gave that up when you walked away from it, Silas,” he says gruffly. His face darkens. “When you walked away from my
daughter.
”

Silas shakes his head. “I’m not that guy anymore, sir,” he says fiercely. “I was a dumb kid, and I screwed up.”

He steps right up to my dad.

“I’m
done
screwing up, Jacob,” he says firmly. “I’m
done
being that kid.”

“Silas,” Dad shakes his head, “son you have no idea how much I want to believe you.”

“Then believe me.”

I push past Sierra and Stella.

“What do you want, Silas.”

He turns to me, his eyes locking right on mine.

“I want you to know its not too late, not for me, not for us.”

He steps towards me.

“I’m not lost, Ivy,” he says quietly. “Not if I’ve got you.”

I look at him. “Silas, we all know where you just were.”

He shakes his head. “I wasn’t.”

“Silas, I
watched
you there with Declan, and there was an
FBI agent
at my parents’ house.”

“I walked.”

He moves towards me, his eyes still locked on mine.

“Declan-” he looks away, his face grim.

“He said he’d hurt you, all of you. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Oh,
Silas,
” my mother’s voice breaks as she grips my father’s arm.

I stare at Silas. “You walked?”

He nods.

My dad clears his throat. “Looks like you
did
have a choice then,” he says quietly.

He sizes Silas up before just the faintest hint of a smile comes to his face. “And I think you made the right one.”

“Thank you.”

He takes a breath. “Sir?”

Dad raises a brow as Silas turns to look him right in the eye.

“I’d like to ask for your blessing.”

Dad laughs - a belly-shaking, chest rumbling, actual laugh.

I smile.

“Little late, wouldn’t you say?”

Silas grins. “Never to late to make up for it.”

Dad eyes him.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He turns back to me. “This is the only family I want, and you’re the only one I want.”

And quite suddenly he’s on his knee, right there on the pier.

The world starts to spin a little as I watch in almost slow-motion as his hand slips into his pocket and comes back out.

With my necklace.

“Ivy Hammond?”

Oh what is happening.

“Marry me.”

He looks up at me, his eyes full, his lips slightly parted.

“Again, or, I don’t know,
stay
married to me.”

I’m speechless for one second, feeling the eyes of my whole family on me.

Another second ticks by as I try and even comprehend what’s happening, and try and slow the thudding of my heart enough to even say the word I’m trying to say.

Sierra sighs loudly behind me. “Oh say yes. We all know you’re going to no matter what anyone says anyways.”

My dad chuckles, and Silas grins.

“Marry me, Ivy,” he says, reaching out and holding my hand. “Stay with me.”

And then the word does manage come out. The only word I’ve ever been able to say to the man kneeling in front of me who was once the boy doing the same thing.

“
Yes.
”

It comes tumbling out before I’m falling into him, feeling his arms go around me, feeling him spin me around as my mom and my sisters go nuts and Rowan and my dad grin and nod.

Yes.