Johnny Blue (17 page)

His mouth was suddenly at my ear. “You look beautiful.”

I searched his face, looking for evidence of the sincerity in his tone, wishing the words would
calm me or comfort me
.
Instead, all I found was torment in his gaze.
My
s
terious torment.

He addressed the audience again.
“I thought I had all the answers. I thought that if I put them on canvas, it would make it real. I hoped this. But after tonight, I realize
d
I was wrong. Jewel, would you do the honor?”

I looked at him and his hand gesturing toward the canvas.

“Would you lift the veil?”

There was mumbling in the audience of surprise at his request
and I wondered
why? Was this unorthodox?

I
nodded at him, feeling the tears pooling in my eyes, feeling like this was all bad. “Yes, of course.” The words barely made it out my tight throat.

I stood before the canvas and clenched my eyes for a second, then forced my hands to the black
cloth
. Reaching from the bottom, I gingerly lifted it, not even looking at the painting as I
wondered if I was supposed to
just let the black material fall to the floor
,
or was I supposed to fold it? Drape it over the back?

I turned toward Johnny
and
stepp
ed toward him, o
ut of the way of the painting
, hoping to get a yes or no indication from his expression
. The sounds of appreciation filled the room and I turned to
the work to see what I’d revealed
.

I froze.

There I was, lying in his white sheets, staring up at him. I knew it was him I was staring at, even though he wasn’t in the painting. There was only one person that could put such a look on my face.
Johnny blessed Blue
.

The painter seemed to be flirting with the audience the way nudity tempted at the sheet’s edges.
And the light.
I felt warm just looking at it. He’d somehow cocooned me in it. Then I realized it appeared that I was glowing.

“When she came into my life, everything changed. It made sense somehow. Not up here,” he pointed to his head, “but in here.” He
pointed to h
is chest. “And then something happened that made me realize I could never capture this rare butterfly. Not with brushes, or paints. Not on a canvas in a few hours
, or days, not even
weeks.
B
e
cause this butterfly is not meant for captivity.
And yet…
” He turned to me. “
N
othing on this earth or in
heaven,
can stop me from wanting to try.
”

He dropped on one knee before me.

Oh God.

“I asked you before if you’d be my masterpiece. And you said…you’d be an
y
thing I wanted you to be.” His intense blue eyes held my shocked
gaze
. “I’m going to cash in on your offer and ask…
if you would please…
please
…
be my wife
.
”

I
stifl
ed
my squeaky gasp
with a hand
as applause erupted with whistles and yells
.
I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think.

The microphone clunked to the floor and he stood and stepped close to me, ca
p
turing my face between his hands.
“I’m sorry baby.
” His lips barely touched mine softly in delicate kisses.
“
For doubting you.”

“I was so scared,” I gasped.

Applause roared as he deepened the kiss and slipped his arms around my waist. “
I love you Jewel
,” he breathed
.

I think we both left the stage in that moment and went someplace else.
Som
e
place where we floated in eternal bliss.
“I will Johnny.” I kissed him back, latching my fingers into that sweet hair. “I will be your wife.
Forever.”

Murmurs sounded and suddenly the
speakers
squalked
. “Well
well
well
, if it isn’t the nut job from St.
Francisville
Louisiana.”

We both jerked to the feminine voice next to us.

“
Charise
,
what are you doing,
don’t do this,” Johnny muttered.

“Don’t do what?” She leaned all her weight on her perfect hip, her sparkly black dress hugging her endless curves. “Don’t tell the world? Tell the world about little miss baby killer?” She leveled her evil green eyes on me and sneered.
“Uh-oh.”
She raised her brows in pretend pity. “Did somebody forget to mention?” She turned toward the audience. “Wonder what our Johnny would think if he knew the woman he just pr
o
posed to
is
among the type of people that killed his father?”

Horror coursed through me.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Johnny growled.

Her head whipped around to him, l
ips drawn up tight over perfect teeth
, making her look rabid
.
“She murdered her own babies.” Her evil eyes sliced to me. “Tell him how you dr
a
nk and drove with your babies and
how they
burned
to death cause you were too
drunk
to get them out the car, you let them
burn! Like you’ll burn in hell!
Is that the kind of woman you want for a
mother
to your children? She probably killed her f
u
ture babies
too,
you may not ever get any. But then maybe they’re better off
never being born.”
She screamed all the words
,
setting fire to my brain, unlocking the nightmare at
full throttle. It ran me over and t
he room spun as I
tried to find J
ohnny. The horror on his face hit me like a freight train
and finished me off
.

Like you deserve anything else.

“Mommy
help
us, help us,
mommyyyy
.”

I covered my ears and closed my eyes.
Their desperate s
creams roared through my
mind
. I f
ought
to get the door open again, to break the window, banging my fists against it, screaming with them, screaming for my babies. “
S
omebody help me! Som
e
body help me!” The flames were so fast. “I can’t open it! I can’t reach them, God! God help me!”

“Jewel!
I’m here, stop fighting baby, stop.”

I knew that voice. Where was he? How was he here?
He could help me!
“Johnny, Johnny!” I screamed. “Help me, I can’t open
it, help me
open it!
”

I was suddenly bound and unable to move. I panicked. “Jewel, stop, it’s over,
shhhh
, we got them out, they’re okay now, they’re safe
,” he rasped in my ear, sorrow hoarsening his voice
. They’re in Heaven, they’re safe,
shhhhh
.”

I screamed my
despair
and rage
, fighting against him
. “I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve to be happy, I’
m a monster,
I
killed my babies! I killed my babies Johnny!
They cried for me, I watched them melt, they melted! They melted!”
Pain shattered through my mind as once again
I watched
their skin drip off their
little
bodies, mouths stuck open in agony as they reached for their mother. “I didn’t save them!
I fucking hate myself! I fucking hate myself! I should’ve died! Not them!
”

“We got her, move.”

I vaguely felt the prick of a needle
followed by an
acrid taste
in
my mouth
.
My strength left me and my eyes rolled.

“Is she okay?” That was Johnny’s voice. Scared and getting farther away.

“She’ll be fine now. Do you know if she has any medical problems?”

“No.” The word came on a sob and I felt his face next to mine. “Jewel, I love you, I need you. I
need you.”

He needed me.

It was like a life preserver
while drowning
. And all I knew in that second, was I had to save him. I
’d failed my babies, and now, Johnny needed me. I
had to rescue him
. He
was that second chance and I wanted it so bad
even while I knew I didn’t deserve it
.
I couldn’t deny him. I never could, not from the day I met him.

I’m coming Johnny Blue.

****

I opened my eyes to color and floral scent. For a second, I thought I’d fell asleep in a field of flowers. I spotted a man in a chair, head in hands, bent over. I stared at him for a few seconds, orienting my vision. “Johnny?”

His head jerked up and ragged blue eyes locked onto me. Oh God I needed that man more than air. He flew to my side and fell on me, his lips and nose on my neck, stubble spearing me. I slid my fingers in his hair, feeling the contour of his scalp while desire spread through my body, causing my nails to scrape with hunger. My hands roamed down his back, feeling how real he was.
So deliciously real.
And mine? Oh God, yes, mine.
Mine to cherish.

His
lips met
my ear. “I love you. I’m so sorry baby. About everything, nothing you did in the past can change that, you own my heart and soul and I need you more than I’ve needed anything in my life, more than I needed answers to questions, you are my answer to everything.”

My heart thundered at the emotion in his voice. “I need you more Johnny Blue. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you were
the H
eaven I could never
deserve
but wanted so bad.”

He nuzzled my cheek.
“Are you feeling okay? I’m so ready to take you home.”

“How long have I been out?”

He glanced back at the door and
then
stared at my mouth as he traced it with a finger. “Like twelve hours.”

I closed my eyes a moment. “
Seems
like days.”

“How do you feel?”

“Like I need you.”

He rained soft kisses all over my face. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”

“Take me home Johnny.” I stroked the stubble on his face softly.

“Which one?”

I smiled. “Whichever one has you in it.”

“I want you in my shack.
Forever.
But…I think we might want to consider a house in the country with a little more space.”

“Oh really?”

His hand slid down over my breasts, then stomach. Desire throbbed between my legs but his hand didn’t continue to where I desperat
ely wanted it to go. It stopped on my lower stomach. “Doc says we’re going to have a baby in
about
eight months.”

I froze up with sudden terror and he pulled back and looked at me with a wo
r
ried face. “I’m sorry
Jewel,
I should have asked, it was wrong to force this. But damn it, I couldn’t keep from becoming completely one with you, it seemed so wrong. And you didn’t protest so I thought—”

I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him happily. “You talk too much Johnny Blue. I can’t think of a greater honor than being the mother of your children. If you’d let me.”

His passion flared and his tongue dove into my mouth, making me moan with need. I clutched his broad shoulders tightly then slid my fingers along the soft skin of his muscular neck. “How many
do
you want?”
he asked, h
is fingers f
inding
their way inside my hospital gown at which point I realized I had no panties on. H
e
teased inside my folds, making me ache and squirm and claw
at his neck with need
.

“However many you
’d like
.”