Joline's Redemption (25 page)

But what would happen when Jo wanted to leave?

The warm feeling dulled. She'd better not get too comfortable, because she knew Jo planned to leave as soon as she had made enough money. But how long would that take? For some reason, she'd stopped working at the store, but she hadn't explained why.

And lately, Jo had been more skittish than she had since they first arrived. Sarah thought that Jo and Lara were doing better and mending their relationship, even though Jo was often closemouthed. She didn't want her family to know where she'd been living, and Sarah could hardly fault her for that.

She studied Jack as he told how he'd met a man who took him in and told him about God. He was a comely man with blue eyes like Jo's, but his hair was browner than either sister. He looked about Gabe's age, but she suspected he might be a year or two older. Did he have a wife and family somewhere?

“Once I gave my heart to God, I never returned to my old ways. In fact, I was the preacher at a small church in Texas when someone showed me the ad you placed in the newspaper.”

Lara drew her hands to her chest and smiled. “I'm so glad that you saw it. I can't remember how many ads we've placed, hoping to find you.”

“Me, too. So how did you end up here in the Oklahoma Territory?”

Gabe started telling the story of how he'd been a gambler in Kansas and how he'd come to Caldwell and got caught up in the excitement of the upcoming land run, how he'd sold horses to those participating in the run, and how he'd met Lara and fallen in love. He shared a special smile with her that made Sarah duck her head. Having grown up with her Cherokee mother, she wasn't used to people showing emotions—and this family certainly had their fair share of them.

For a time, she got caught up in Gabe's exciting tale of following Lara during the land run and how his heart had nearly stopped when her horse stumbled and she flew over its head. He told of stitching up the wound and lifted the hair on Lara's forehead to show how nice a job he'd done. Sarah smiled. Living here gave her hope that she could grow into a respectable woman like Lara and maybe have a husband and family of her own one day, but first, she had to keep learning to read, cook, and tend a home.

She dreaded the day she would have to leave this place.

Jack started talking about God and how He'd changed his heart, washed him clean, and made him a new man. She didn't understand all he said, but it intrigued her. Could God change her? Make her clean and a child of God instead of the daughter of a man who owned a house of ill repute?

She'd heard all the different names the people of Oklahoma City had murmured as she and the other ladies went to do their shopping: floozy, strumpet, harlot, hussy. She had no idea what they meant, but she suspected it had something to do with the way the town's men cavorted with the ladies of the house. At her father's house, she had felt she had to keep quiet and remain in the shadows, but here, she was part of the family.

A smile lifted her lips. If she had her way, she'd never leave.

Jo fed Jamie while she listened to the end of Jack's story of where life had taken him. He'd been an outlaw for a time, but now he was a preacher. She started to shake her head at the notion but remembered in time and concentrated on spooning applesauce into her son's mouth.

“I fell a long ways before God found me and changed my heart. If He can change me, I reckon He can change just about anyone.”

Gabe leaned back in his chair. “I can testify to how God also changed my life.” He glanced at Lara, who held Beth, then at Michael. “I wouldn't have this wonderful family if He hadn't.” He shook his head. “I sure didn't know what I was missing.”

Jack nodded. “I know. Giving your heart to God is the easy part, but trusting Him with your life can be scary. I never thought I'd be a preacher.” He ducked his head. “Guess I'm not too good of one since I got fired after only a month. But when I found out where y'all were, I had to come. Job or not.”

“Did you never marry?” Lara asked.

An odd look engulfed Jack's face for a moment; then he gave a brief shake of his head. “Nope.”

Jo suspected there was more Jack wasn't saying. As far as she knew, Baron had never married, either. But then, she didn't know him well. Perhaps he had a wife back in St. Louis.

Sarah watched Jack with interest. If not for the huge age gap between them, she might think the girl was sweet on him, but she suspected Luke held that place by the way Sarah watched him and ducked her head when he spoke to her.

While the others talked, Jo wondered if Mark was still in town. Had he come for only a visit, or did he plan to stay? Did it bother him that his brother was now in charge of the store he founded so he'd returned to take over? Mark had been proud that he'd managed to win a town lot in the land run of '89 and had the foresight to order several trainloads of supplies, which the new town desperately needed. He'd thought the Guthrie store was his way of getting out from under his father's stern thumb and had talked about it many times. She hadn't expected him to walk away from it as easily as he had. But then, it was her he wanted to be free from, not the store.

Did Baron feel the same toward his father? She'd never heard him say a negative word about him. She fed Jamie another bite then wiped the dribble off his chin. It looked like Baron wasn't going to contact her about Mark's status. She was going to have to ride to town if she wanted answers.

“I never knew that serving God could make a person feel so clean and whole. I was lost for so long, and I never even knew it. If only I'd stopped fighting and had turned to Him sooner.” Jack pursed his lips and blew a breath out his nose. “All those wasted years.”

Grandpa reached over and patted Jack's arm. “The important thing is that you're walking with Him now. It's so good to see again.”

Tired of all the God talk, Jo rose and wet a cloth in the bucket of clean water then wiped off Jamie's face and hands. “I think this little guy needs a fresh diaper.”

Jack gazed at Jamie, smiling. “He sure is a comely lad. He looks a lot like you.”

Jo pretended to be annoyed and shot her hands to her hips. “Are you saying I look like a boy, Jack Jensen?”

Chuckles bounced around the table, and Jack held up his hands in surrender, but his eyes still twinkled. “You know what I meant, sis.”

Jo smiled and lifted her son from the high chair. “It's good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.” Jack winked at her, reminding her of the cocky brother she had looked up to when she was small.

She climbed the stairs, holding the rail with one hand and hanging on to Jamie with her other one. Back when she was young, she hadn't understood why Jack had left them. She'd only been five or six then, but she'd seen the hurt in Grandpa's and Lara's eyes. As she carried Jamie upstairs, she thought about how almost everyone she'd ever loved had left her—Jack, her parents … Mark.

Her heart clenched. She'd also run away—and she had never before considered the consequences of that action. Back then, she'd seen the pain in Lara's eyes, but she had hardened her heart. Jo had known what she wanted in life, and she was certain she wouldn't find it on this little speck of the earth. She glanced around the comfortable room. The irony was that Lara lived in the house Jo had always dreamed of. Somehow, after all she'd been through, a house no longer mattered half as much as it once had. She only wanted her son to live in a safe place.

She laid Jamie on the bed, smiling when he shook his head and rattled off a stream of unintelligible chatter. He was such a happy boy. If he ever ran away, it would break her heart.

The same way Lara's and Grandpa's hearts had been broken when she left?

Jo blinked her eyes at the sting burning them. Why hadn't she considered the pain it would cause them before she left? Why had she been so stubborn? So selfish?

Jamie squealed, pulling her from her troubling thoughts. She quickly changed him and then set him on the floor and handed him his rattle and a block. He pounded the block against the rattle then giggled. Jo smiled and sat in the rocker. In her contemplative state, she wasn't ready to rejoin the others.

She'd known what she wanted and she'd gone after it, and for a short time, her life had been wonderful. But then Mark changed from a charming and loving husband to a beast. She couldn't do anything right. He started yelling at her, saying she was the cause of all his problems. She hadn't understood the source of his anger. As far as she could remember, she hadn't done anything to deserve it.

And then one day, his anger grew so uncontrollable that he hit her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to remember how he'd raged at her. Blamed her for his problems. Said she was the problem, but when she tried to get him to see reason, he'd told her to shut up and slapped her hard in the face, nearly wrenching her head from her neck. She lifted her hand to her cheek, rubbing the spot. It was the only time he hit her in the face. For two weeks, she had to use face paint to hide the redness and then the bruises. But that hadn't been the worst of it. After that, he pounded her in places that others wouldn't see—her back and stomach—and he kicked her legs. She glanced down at her flat stomach, remembering the two tiny babes she'd lost as a result of Mark's abuse.

Jamie pulled up on her skirt and patted her knee. Needing comfort from her troubling thoughts, she lifted him to her lap and kissed his fuzzy head. Oh, how she loved this boy.

Had Lara loved her as much? If so, her heart must have broken when Jo ran away.

And she was preparing to do it again. She couldn't let Mark get his hands on her son.

She sighed and laid her head back as Jamie relaxed in her arms. She didn't want to leave. The thought slammed into her with the force of a locomotive. She'd finally realized the value of family.

If only Badger wasn't looking for her—and she had no doubt he was. They were far too close to him for comfort, and sooner or later, he'd track them down. She had no choice but to leave—to protect Jamie and Sarah. To protect the rest of her family. Badger didn't care who he hurt to get what he wanted.

Soft footsteps padded down the hall, and Sarah paused in the doorway. “You are not coming back?”

The girl's speech was getting better—less choppy. Jo shrugged. “I planned to, but then I started thinking of many things and got stuck here.” She glanced down at her son. “And it looks like he's almost asleep.”

Sarah sat down on the bed. She moved more quietly than anyone Jo had ever known. Had she learned to do that from her Indian mother, or did she acquire that skill at the bordello in her efforts not to bother anyone or incur their anger for something petty?

Sarah stared at the floor, her eyebrows dipping then relaxing, as if she struggled with her thoughts.

“Got something on your mind?”

The pretty girl glanced up. “Do you believe in God?”

Jo struggled not to wince. She'd never doubted there was a God, even though she'd seen little of His hand in her life. “I do.”

“What your brother say—said … it is true?”

“What part are you talking about?” Jo glanced down to see Jamie had fallen asleep. She rose and took him to his bed and laid him down, taking a moment to gaze at his sweet face. She'd come so close to losing him—forever.

Straightening, she motioned for Sarah to follow her out to the upstairs sitting area, and they sat on the settee.

“The part where he was outlaw and God change him.”

“I don't believe Jack would tell a falsehood about such a thing, especially since he is a preacher now. So I guess it must be true.”

“Would God change me? Make me clean?”

Jo jerked, taken aback. “What in the world could you have done?”

“I run away. And pastor at church said all people have sinned.”

That included herself. She'd sinned far more than most—even broke several of the Ten Commandments. If God could save an outlaw, would He save a fallen woman?

Jo almost shook her head. She glanced at Sarah, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but she knew so little about God and the Bible. “Why don't you talk to Jack about it?”

The girl's eyes widened, and she shook her head.

“He's a nice man. He'd probably be happy to chat with you about God.”

Sarah stared at the floor. “I cannot.”

“Are you afraid of him?”

She shrugged. “My mother say to not trust men.”

Too bad Jo's mother hadn't lived long enough to teach her about that. “Some men, like Gabe and Grandpa, and I suspect Jack, are good men who care for and protect women.”
And Baron,
her heart told her. “Those are the kind of men you can trust. They don't purposely hurt women.”

“But Badger, he does.”

Jo thought of how charming he'd been when she first met him. She'd fallen under his spell as fast as she had Mark's. But she was older and wiser now, and no man would ever take advantage of her again. “Yes.”