Jordan, Nicole - Notorious 1 (21 page)

Vanessa heard the remorse in his tone, saw it in his expression, and gritted her teeth. The damage was done; Aubrey had made himself known to Olivia. He might as well be allowed to deliver his apology.

“I realize,” Aubrey said quietly, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. How ashamed I am for what I did to you.” He glanced down at the invalid chair that held her prisoner. “If I could take your place I would.”

Her gaze remained anguished, but there was a hint of steel in her voice when she replied rigidly, “Your concern comes rather late, doesn’t it? It has been months since I last was foolish enough to believe your tender professions.”

His faint smile was bleak. “I tried to see you, to write, but your brother banned me from the premises and ordered all my letters returned.”

“I wish I had been half as wise when you first began to woo me.” Her mouth trembled. “How pleased you must have been when you won your wager so effortlessly.”

Aubrey shook his head. “No, I was never pleased. My pursuit of you began as a wager, true, but it turned into something more, without my even knowing it. You see

I fell in love.”

Vanessa could remain silent no longer. “Aubrey, stop this!” she demanded, taking a furious step toward him.

Olivia turned even whiter if that were possible, while her voice dropped to a mere whisper. “How can you be so cruel? Haven’t you done enough? Must you make me the object of your malicious sport once again?”

“This is no sport, I swear it on my life. I haven’t been able to forget you, Olivia.” Tears shimmered in his eyes. “I know I’ve ruined any chance for a future with you, but I couldn’t go on letting you think I didn’t care. At least believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you.”

Olivia glanced wildly up at Vanessa. She looked desperate, as fragile as crystal. “Please,” she pleaded, “take me to the carriage.”

Slowly Aubrey rose from his kneeling position. “You may set your mind at ease, Miss Sinclair. I won’t contaminate you with my presence any longer. I shall take myself out of your sight.”

He turned and mounted his horse, then glanced sadly down at his sister. “Vanessa, please

take good care of her.”

He kicked his horse into a canter, leaving the two women to stare after him. They were both shaking.

Vanessa recovered first. Haphazardly arranging the blanket on Olivia’s lap, she began pushing the chair toward the carriage, her thoughts in turmoil. How could Aubrey have been so cruel? Should she have intervened sooner? Could she have somehow spared Olivia the pain of seeing the man who had devastated her life? What could she say to Olivia now?

Yet the girl was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she was blind to her surroundings. It was long moments later, after they were both settled in the carriage and on their way home, that Olivia raised eyes full of pain.

“He wasn’t a stranger to you.” The declaration was more bewildered than accusatory.

“No,” Vanessa replied quietly. “Aubrey is my brother.”

Olivia drew a sharp breath. She looked crushed at the betrayal.

For a long moment she said nothing as she searched Vanessa’s face. “Why did you never tell me?”

“I was afraid to. I feared you wouldn’t accept me as your companion if you realized my connection to him.”

“Does Damien know?”

“Yes. We

agreed from the first it would be better not to tell you.” She regarded Olivia solemnly, her heart aching. “I never wanted to deceive you. If you wish me to leave Rosewood now, I will.”

The girl didn’t reply at once. “Why did you come here?”

Vanessa looked away. She preferred not to tell Olivia the sordid truth, to reveal Damien’s threat to her family or their shocking liaison, to explain that she had been forced to become his mistress in order to save her mother and sisters from stark penury. Olivia was still too young, too innocent, to be exposed to such bald facts.

“Because I wanted to help you,” she said finally; at least that was completely true. “I was horrified to learn what my brother had done, and I wanted to make amends.”

“Then

all along you knew what happened?”

“Yes. Aubrey told me himself, weeks ago.” Vanessa leaned forward. “If you can’t bring yourself to forgive me for concealing the truth, I will understand.”

It was Olivia’s turn to look away. “I don’t know,” she said, gazing blindly out the window. “I need time to think about all this.”

For the remainder of the afternoon, Olivia shut herself in her room, while Vanessa despaired and wondered whether to pack her bags. When she received a summons to join Olivia just before dinnertime, she complied with uncertainty.

The girl was sitting in her chair, gazing out the window, her expression a little sad.

“I do understand why you hid the truth from me,” Olivia said, looking up. “If I had known Lord Rutherford was your brother, I never would have spoken to you, let alone allowed you to become my friend.”

“I am your friend, Olivia,” Vanessa replied earnestly.

“I know. And I don’t want you to go.”

The relief Vanessa felt was overwhelming. Before she could respond, however, Olivia spoke again.

“Did he mean it, do you think?” she asked quietly.

“Mean what?”

“He said he fell in love with me. Can I believe him?”

Troubled, Vanessa hesitated. Aubrey’s declaration of love had startled and shocked her, but while it seemed to have come honestly, from the heart, she found it hard to credit that her reckless, devil-may-care brother would truly have fallen in love. More likely he was acting out of guilt. Still she couldn’t be entirely sure

“I don’t know,” Vanessa answered truthfully. “I’m certain Aubrey deeply regrets his actions, but I don’t know if he is really in love. I don’t think he would be so cruel as to fabricate such a lie—but then six months ago I never would have thought him heartless enough to make that despicable wager, either.”

Olivia’s mouth twisted bitterly. “Do you know the worst part? I want to believe he loves me. Am I ten kinds of fool?”

Vanessa didn’t know how to answer, but she wasn’t required to. Olivia’s chin rose defiantly, and for a moment she was the imperious baron’s daughter, instead of an innocent young girl betrayed by her lover.

“If he thinks he can fool me again,” she said fiercely, “he is greatly mistaken.”

Olivia was quiet that night at dinner, so quiet that her brother asked if she was feeling well.

The girl’s eyes flickered to Vanessa. “I’m well enough, though perhaps I exerted myself a little too much shopping today.”

“Would you rather I postpone my trip?” Damien asked seriously. “It isn’t absolutely necessary that I leave tomorrow.”

Olivia shook her head. “No, of course not. You needn’t worry about me. Vanessa will be here to look after me.”

Vanessa was grateful for her answer. Thankfully she’d made no mention of Aubrey to her brother. Vanessa shuddered to think what Damien might do if he learned of Aubrey’s presence in the district.

She only hoped Aubrey would have the sense to go home now that he’d had the opportunity to unburden his conscience. He was tempting fate to remain.

At least Damien would be leaving in the morning, for the better part of a week. She would be vastly relieved, Vanessa acknowledged, by his absence. Perhaps then she would be able to conquer the yearning ache he aroused in her with merely his nearness. To forget the burning enchantment she had known in his arms. To crush her foolish emotions.

She retired early, but to her dismay, she remained awake, nerves on edge, unable to sleep. After Damien’s avoidance of her these past few days, she didn’t expect him to come to her room that night, although she had prepared for him as on every other night, making use of the sponges he’d provided. Infuriatingly she found herself torn by conflicting desires—half praying he wouldn’t come, half hoping he would. She was determined to give him a cool reception if he did.

Her heart took up a rapid rhythm when she heard the whisper of the secret panel from across the room.

She lay unmoving, with her back to him, yet she was palpably aware of Damien’s presence. Moments later she felt the mattress shift as he sat beside her, felt the sensual brush of his hand beneath the veil of her hair, against her nape.

“I came to say farewell,” he murmured, somehow knowing she was feigning sleep.

Reluctantly, Vanessa turned over to gaze up at him. In the moonlit darkness she could just make out his hard, virile features. “I wondered what brought you after all these nights.”

He must have heard the chill in her voice, yet he didn’t reply directly, or give an explanation for why he had stayed away. “Did you miss me, sweeting?”

Vanessa drew back, stung by his blitheness. “I think you flatter yourself, my lord. I didn’t miss you in the least.”

He went still, his expression unreadable. “I gather you are piqued at my neglecting you of late.”

“Hardly,” she lied. “I was glad to be given a respite from your lust.”

Damien’s smile was ironic. “I suppose I owe you an explanation. I thought perhaps our

association was becoming too heated for my peace of mind.”

She stared at him, as if wondering whether she could believe him.

His fingers found her lips and stroked languidly over the sensitive surface. “You are dangerous to my control, Vanessa. I find myself wanting you a dozen times a day.”

“Fortunately you will soon be able to satisfy your carnal urges with someone more willing. Your Hellfire gathering should provide you ample opportunity for carousing and debauchery.”

Hearing the accusation in her tone, Damien held her defiant gaze. He had no intention of revealing how terribly vulnerable he was to her.

Vanessa might be startled to know he had no desire to attend Clune’s house party. He was forcing himself to leave Rosewood in an attempt to distance himself from her.

Yet he couldn’t go away without being with her just once more, without touching her, holding her. It had shocked him to realize just how powerful his need for her was. He had fought it—fiercely—but he had lost the battle.

He regarded her silently for a long moment. “Do you wish me to leave you?”

“And if I said yes?”

“Then I would try to persuade you to change your mind.”

Vanessa gazed up at him, mesmerized by the cool fire in his eyes, aware of an undeniable sexual tension between them. She was his mistress, bought and paid for. That had always been the ugly truth between them.

But it was not her obligation to Damien that made her heart sink with a feeling akin to despair. It was the knowledge of her own defenselessness. He had only to touch her and she melted.

Just as now. The subtle brush of his fingers on her flesh riveted her, made her tremble. His caress moved lower, down her throat, along the line of her collarbone, dipping beneath the bodice of her nightdress to follow the rising swell of her breast. Vanessa shivered.

“What must I do to mollify you, sweeting?” he murmured as he softly stroked her skin.

The tempo of her breathing quickened. She had meant to resist him, but it was futile to think of escaping Lord Sin. In truth, she didn’t want to escape.

When his knuckles brushed her nipples beneath her nightdress, heat rose to inflame her. She could feel the feverish ache starting deep inside her.

He knew precisely what his skilled caresses did to her, devil take him. His gaze locked with hers as deliberately he drew down the covers and rested his hand on her hip, only inches from the center of her desire.

She began to throb there, a vibrant, urgent pulsating. He was using the pleasures of her own body against her.

“Shall I go or stay?” he asked.

She returned his gaze, unable to look away. “Stay,” she whispered involuntarily.

She saw the fire that leapt in his eyes, saw the determination in his expression, even though he didn’t move a muscle. He meant to turn her reluctance to welcome invitation, she knew.

With unwilling fascination she watched as he shrugged out of his dressing gown. He was fully aroused, and the magnificence of his nude body took her breath away. The muscles in his chest and torso rippled as he joined her on the bed.

His face was hard, his eyes burning with intensity as he bent over her. “I want you, Vanessa. Now.” Raw desire darkened his husky voice. “I want your softness clenching and shivering around my hardness.”

He lowered his head, his fingers threading through her hair. His mouth hovered above hers, its beautiful lines stark and sensual.

Vanessa fought back a moan as his lips began to caress hers. She could feel her will weakening, feel the uneven beat of her heart.

“Don’t deny me, angel. Don’t deny yourself

” His whisper filled her mind and stirred a quickening deep within her. His touch felt so right

She didn’t protest when he drew up the hem of her nightdress to her waist or when she felt his thick, velvet-smooth shaft pressing against her thigh. Her lips burned beneath his deep, penetrating kiss, while her body quivered at the promise of that hot, rigid flesh giving her pleasure.

He kept up his sensual assault, stealing her will from her, until she warmed and softened and surrendered to the dark magic he commanded. Unable to disguise how desperately she wanted him, Vanessa threaded her arms around his neck and whimpered, needing him to ease the inexplicable hunger.

Damien felt her fiery response to his kiss and moved over her, covering her luscious form with his hard one. For a moment he braced himself above her, steeling his body against his raging need.

“Tell me you don’t want this,” he demanded softly, giving her the choice. “Tell me you don’t want me inside you.”

She couldn’t say such a thing. She did want him, far too much. She wanted him loving her, filling her

When she didn’t reply, he pressed her thighs wide and fit himself to her, thrusting in hard and deep, finding her sleek and hot and welcoming.

He heard her breath catch in a startled gasp of pleasure as his powerful length filled her. Sheathed tightly inside her, he began to move, withdrawing and thrusting again, until Vanessa arched and cried out, helplessly caught in the web of her own desire.