Josh's Justice, Cowboy Romance (Bad in Boots, Book 4) (17 page)

Slowly she nodded, knowing he could feel her answer since his hand was still on her chin. “I will.”

He swiftly flipped her over on her back, pulling her arms above her head as he thrust his thigh between hers. “Then I have very little time left to convince you that staying with me is far preferable than living without me,” he said in a determined voice.

“Josh, I know you’re upset—”

“I don’t want your sympathy, Brina.” He pressed his erection against her entrance. “I want
this
to mean more,” he ground out as he thrust deep.

Sabrina screamed at the satisfying completeness she felt when he was seated inside her—every time she felt that way, damn him. Sad tears streamed down her face as he began to move within her in measured, deliberately slow, tantalizing strokes. Her heart raced and desire swirled in her belly as her body temperature rose.

When she moaned in ecstasy, his breathing sawed in and out, but his tone remained unwavering, determined. “I know I have your body, but I won’t give up until I have your heart and soul too.”

His vow stabbed at her, making their lovemaking the most bittersweet and emotionally intense she’d experienced with him. His heartfelt words, his knowing touch; the way they perfectly moved in tune with one another…it all broke her heart. Sabrina silently acknowledged to herself that Josh did have her body. He even had her heart, but she couldn’t allow her soul to burn up in that white-blue flame only he seemed to be able to ignite within her.

* * *

I sit in the wooden mission-style chair a few feet away from the front door. Mom doesn’t like that I’ve taken it from the kitchen table, but I don’t care. My hands are folded in my lap and I bite my lower lip, waiting.

Mom tries to lure me away with ice cream and cookies like she did when I was little, but I shake my head even though my belly is growling. I never look away from the door.

Dad’s coming home soon. He’ll burst through the door all sweaty and smelling of smoke, his face streaked with soot. He’ll say he came straight from work just to pull me into a bear hug.

My brothers try to engage me in conversation, but I tune them out, staying focused. The only time I look away is to glance at the clock on the mantel in the living room.
It’s seven. Why isn’t he home yet?

“Sabrina, your father’s not coming.” Mom touches my shoulder.
Why does she sound sad?

I want to look at her, but I’m afraid what I’ll see on her face.

“He’s never coming home, sweetie,” she says, her voice cracking. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head in adamant jerks and press my lips together. My back aches and my butt hurts from sitting so long, but I refuse to move. “He’s coming, Mom,” I say, even though my voice shakes.

“He’s gone, Sabrina,” my brother Jason says. “You need to move on. Let him go.”

“No, he’s
not
gone!” I scream. I want to tear my gaze away so I can challenge him, prove him wrong, but I don’t. “Dad’s coming home!”
I never got to say goodbye. Never got to hug him once more. He can’t be gone. I won’t
let
him be
.

“He died, little Bri,” my oldest brother Thomas says. He places his big hand on top of my head to comfort me. “We all miss him.”

I close my eyes and the action pushes my tears down my cheeks. Then I blink them open and snap my aching spine straight again, dashing the wetness from my cheeks. “No. He’s coming!”

My eyes burn from staring so long without blinking, but finally the feel of my brother’s hand on my head fades away.

I exhale a sigh of relief.
They don’t believe like I do.

Then suddenly my chair is being tugged away from the door. I try, but I can’t get up. I grab onto the seat and scream my fury as I’m pulled further and further away and the door grows smaller and smaller until I can no longer see it.

“Sabrina!” a man’s worried voice penetrates my mind. Why does it sound familiar? 

Sabrina blinked in the darkness. She panted through the disorientation until tender lips pressed against her temple. “It’s just a nightmare, baby.” Josh pulled her against his sleep-warmed chest, gathering her close as he laid them back down in his bed. “You were screaming, ‘Take me back’ over and over.” He pushed her hair away from her face and turned her toward him.

Sabrina swallowed several times to calm herself. She hadn’t had that dream in a long time. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled into his chest.

He lifted her chin. “You’re still trembling. Talk to me about it. Maybe it’ll help.”

She appreciated his desire to make her feel better. Maybe it was because it was dark and she couldn’t see his face, or maybe it was because it bothered her that this dream resurfaced when she thought she’d shut that door in her life, but whatever the reason, she told Josh about her dream when she’d never told anyone before, not even her family.

When she stopped talking, she was surprised tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I used to dream it every night for a while.” She sniffled, then sighed. “But I haven’t had it in a very long time.” Josh brushed her tears away with his thumbs and pulled her close to press a kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry, Sabrina, so sorry.”

She laid her head on his chest. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was just a dream.”

Josh stroked Sabrina’s hair until she fell back asleep. As she told him about her dream, a heavy ache filled his chest. Whether she realized it or not, he was the reason she’d had that dream. Now, her freaking out on him when he came home late from fighting that fire made complete sense. How would they ever get past this? Sabrina’s demons were just as deeply ingrained as his.

When she sighed in her sleep and started to roll away, he turned on his side and pulled her back, spooning her against his chest. Kissing the back of her head, he slid a leg between hers and wrapped his arm around her waist. He didn’t want her leaving his side, not even while she slept. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. He’d find a way to make this work. She was too important to him.

Chapter Eleven

The next morning, Sabrina and Josh shared a quiet breakfast of bacon and pancakes, thanks to Josh’s fabulous cooking. Their mutual silence was almost as if they didn’t want to break the peaceful spell that had settled over them. But Sabrina saw the heat in his gorgeous teal eyes every time Josh looked at her across the table. It was as if he thought he could
will
her to say, “Yes, I’ll stay.”

When they were done with their meal, he stood then walked around the table to hold his hand out to her. He looked so sexy in his black T-shirt, faded jeans and black cowboy boots. Even the bruised black eye and cut on his cheek worked in his favor, enhancing his rugged good looks. All this “certified” cowboy was missing was his Stetson, but she was glad he didn’t have one on at the moment, because it would only hide his sexy blond hair. She really loved running her fingers through those thick wavy locks.

She put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her into his arms. As she wrapped her arms around his waist, she’d never felt more secure and loved than she did when Josh’s strong arms surrounded her. The spicy aroma of his aftershave teased her nostrils and she buried her nose in his shirt, enjoying the smells of laundry soap, aftershave and all male.

“Look at me,” he said quietly.

Sabrina lifted her chin and elevated her gaze to meet his serious one. He searched her face before he spoke. “I meant what I said last night. I love you too much to let you go.”

She closed her eyes, unable to meet his gaze. When he laid a gentle kiss on each eyelid, she let out a tortured sob. The man just made her heart turn to sheer mush and her knees literally threaten to give out.
Good thing he had her locked in a bear hug or she’d be a melted puddle on the floor at his feet
.

He gave a low laugh. “I’d just pick you up and make you melt all over again.”

Her eyes flew open and heat rode up her cheeks. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did,” came his satisfied reply, amusement dancing in his eyes. He slid his hands down to cup her rear, pulling her fully against his body. “And don’t think for one minute I’ll let you forget it, darlin’. I’ll use every weapon in my arsenal when it comes to convincing you that you belong with me.”

The ruthless look in his gaze belied the lightheartedness in his tone. Sabrina resisted the shiver that threatened to shimmy up her spine at the promise in his eyes.

A distinctive beep-beep sound outside interrupted the arc of sexual energy and dual displays of willpower that seemed to flow unspoken between them.

Josh frowned, then walked over to open the door. Sabrina followed him to see Dirk pulling his helmet off as he sat on his motorcycle, a wide grin on his face.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Dirk’s eyes lit up. “Aren’t you just the luckiest dog around?” he said to Josh as he stared at Sabrina standing next to his friend. Nodding to her, he grinned, “Hello again, gorgeous.”

“Hi, Dirk,” she replied and held back a grin when Josh jerked his gaze to her, jealousy and surprise evident on his face.

Stepping slightly in front of her, Josh said, “You two know each other?”

She rolled her eyes at his blatant attempt to shield her from Dirk’s view, then stepped around him onto the porch. “Dirk gave me a ride to the Lonestar when I first arrived in Boone.”

“Got your rental car?” Dirk asked.

She nodded. “Yep, the very next day. Then Elise convinced me to return it. Turns out she was right. I haven’t needed it. Thanks again for your help.”

Josh stepped into place beside her on the porch, his stance tense. “Why did you bring your bike?” he asked Dirk. “I wanted Sabrina to go with me to get my truck.”

“Might’ve helped if you had mentioned that bit of information,” Dirk shot back. “I just thought it’d be fun to take my bike up the hills to get to your place.”

Sensing the tension flowing between the men, Sabrina jumped in, “It’s okay, Josh. Didn’t you say the towing place wasn’t that far away? I’ll wait here for you to get back. No big deal.”

He turned a concerned gaze her way. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“No one even knows where I am. Remember we kept it a secret,” she replied, winking.

Sighing, Josh nodded reluctantly, then walked inside to retrieve his keys and his wallet. When he came back out, he said, “I’ll be back in a half hour.”

She smiled up at him as he bent to kiss her.

“Let’s go, stud.” Dirk tossed a spare helmet Josh’s way as he came down the stairs.

Once Josh put his helmet on and got on behind him, Dirk revved the motorcycle’s engine and turned the bike around. Before he left, Dirk gave Sabrina a rakish grin. “Don’t worry, he’ll be back in record time.”

“I’d prefer in one piece,” she called after the loud motorcycle as the men took off.

After Josh left, she walked inside and cleaned their breakfast dishes. Picking up the remote, she clicked on the TV for background noise as she continued to scan the house for something to do to occupy her time. When her gaze landed on his laptop sitting on the desk, she decided to see if she had any responses to the emails she’d sent out yesterday.

She sat down at the desk and watched the last few minutes of an old sitcom rerun while she waited for his computer to boot up. Sifting through her email, she found a few that needed immediate attention and once she’d responded to those mails, her gaze was drawn to the news update that flashed across the screen.

Eddie Clayton, the escaped convict who was recently apprehended after four hours of freedom, was just transferred to a maximum security prison today. He awaits his trial where additional sentencing will be given for his latest crimes
.

When the picture of the convict popped up on the TV screen, recognition dawned and suddenly that night came flooding back to her. She’d watched the news report, saw the convict’s photo, heard the noise outside, then picked up the lantern and…and…there was a note and she’d set it down on the railing when she picked up the lantern. What did it say? Damn, why couldn’t she remember more?

Maybe if she could find that note, it would jog the rest of her memory. Grabbing  Josh’s cell phone, she quickly dialed the Tanners’ residence.

“Hello?” a woman answered.

“Nan? Hi, it’s Sabrina. A bit of my memory has just come back, but I’m hoping you can help me.”

“Oh, that’s great news! I’d be glad to help if I can. What can I do?”

“The night I was attacked, someone left a lantern sitting on top of a note on the porch. I remember picking up the note, but I can’t remember what it said. I’m hoping that maybe the note might still be there, that maybe it fell into the yard somewhere. Can you look for me?”

“Sure thing, child,” came Nan’s response. “Let me go look around. I’ll call you back. Are you calling from Josh’s?”

“Yes, but I’m calling from his cell phone…er…which I don’t know the number,” she apologized.

“No problem. I’ve got Josh’s house number. I’ll call that one back.”

“Okay.” Sabrina exhaled a breath of relief that she might finally be helpful in discovering her attacker. She hoped Nan found that note. Of course, after that hard rain yesterday, it might very well be ruined even if she did find it.

Once she hit the End button on the phone, she saw a “text message” indicator flashing. She smiled as she pressed the button to retrieve the message. That had been sweet of Josh to think about her yesterday.

When Josh’s message popped up, she felt all the blood drain from her face.

Thinking about you. Meet me in the stables.

The familiar phrase flashed through her memory, then came jolting back…
Meet me in the stables.
Those exact same words were on the note the night she was attacked.
God no
! Goose bumps broke out all over her as a shiver shot down her spine.
Had I gone to the stables to meet with Josh? But maybe someone else had written the note.
Her stomach churned. The note had been sitting under a lantern, which Josh mentioned knowing where it hung in the stables. She squeezed her eyes shut.
I was knocked out and left unconscious while the stables were set on fire
.