Joshua and the Cowgirl (12 page)

She dragged her fingers through her hair, tugging strands loose. He was pushing her back to that
other
time again, forcing memories she didn’t want to face. “It’s not the money exactly.”

Joshua refused to settle for the weak evasion. “Then what? It’s legal. I don’t pedal drugs or export arms to the enemy, so what’s the problem? Talk to me, Garrett. We need to get past this.”

“We don’t need to do anything. I’m sure you earn your money perfectly legitimately. I’m sure you’re wallowing in it. I just don’t want any part of it.”

He leaned toward her until his hot, angry breath whispered across her cheek. “Why, Garrett?”

Something finally snapped in her. “It’s what you do with it, okay? What all men with money do.”

His eyes turned suddenly cold. “Let’s leave other men out of this for the moment,” he suggested, his tone frosty. “What precisely do I do with my money that you find so offensive?”

Memories flooded in, crowding out the image of the man across from her and replacing it with the man she hated, the man she despised. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she accused him, “You use it to control people, to buy and sell them, to get your own way no matter the cost.”

As if it came from far away, she heard Joshua’s sharp, furious intake of breath. Dragging herself back to the present, to this moment and this man, she watched with a sinking sense of dismay as his shoulders tensed and a dull red color crept into his cheeks.

“When did you come up with this particular insight into my personality?” he said tensely. “Was it the flowers? Forget the damned flowers.”

With one violent sweep of his arm, he reached back and knocked them off the counter, sending them crashing to the floor. Pink and apricot tulips and bright yellow daffodils mixed with shards of cranberry glass and water. Holding back a gasp, Garrett had to resist the desire to reach out and rescue the precious, broken blossoms.

“Maybe it was earlier,” he accused. “Maybe it was the minute I arrived here eighteen months ago.”

Garrett winced in guilt.

He sighed sorrowfully. “I’m right, then. You made up your mind about me way back then and nothing—not even making love with me—nothing that’s happened since has done anything to change it. Do you know how pathetic that is? Are you going to spend the rest of your life shutting people out based on some crazy first impression of how they squander their bank account?”

“No. Yes.” Her own fury kicked in then, renewed by his derision. “Yes, I am. If that’s what it takes to keep us safe, that is exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Safe?” Joshua asked, his expression suddenly troubled. “What is that supposed to mean? I’m no threat to you.”

She shook her head wearily. “Yes, you are.”

“I think you’d better explain.”

“I can’t.” She looked up, wiping furiously at her tears. “I just can’t.”

She heard his sigh of defeat, knew precisely when he got to his feet. Her breath held, her heart aching, she waited for him to leave. Finally, to her astonishment, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“You may be stubborn and pigheaded, Traci Maureen Garrett, but so am I,” he said softly. “So am I.”

* * *

The walk back to the house cooled some of Joshua’s anger. For a full minute in that kitchen he’d wanted to shake Garrett until her teeth rattled for making such horrible judgments about him. The tears had held him back, shaken him in fact. With a sudden flash of insight he’d known with absolute certainty that her response was based on the past, not the present. Her own past. It had nothing to do with him at all. If he was going to understand her, he had to find out what had happened to her years ago to rob her of her ability to trust. Unless he could do that, he might as well return to Florida and forget all about her.

He went back into the main house through the kitchen and found Elena polishing the silver.

She looked up at his entrance and smiled. “Se;atnor Ames. You missed dinner. Are you hungry? I could make you something. There are enchiladas.”

“Thanks, Elena, but I ate with Casey.”

“Ah,” she said, beaming. “And Garrett,
si?”

“Afraid not.”

“She was still working? It is too late. She works too hard, that one.”

“Yes, she does.” Picking up a rag and a beautiful silver coffee carafe, he began to polish. The mindless task soothed him, giving him pleasure as he watched the soft sheen replace the tarnish. Was that what it would take with Garrett, a gentle touch to wipe away years of built-up hurt?

“Were you here when she first came, Elena?”

The housekeeper gave him a sharp look. “
Si
, I was here. The
ni;atna
was just a baby. They came here from the hospital.”

“Did Garrett ever talk about the baby’s father?”

Mrs. Mac stepped into the kitchen just in time to hear the question. “If you want to know something about Garrett’s past, don’t you think you ought to be asking her?”

Joshua wasn’t fazed by the rebuke. “Every time I broach the subject, she shuts up like a clam. Even Casey hasn’t been able to get anything out of her.”

Mrs. Mac looked startled. “The child told you that?”

He nodded, his expression grim. “She finally stopped asking. It can’t be healthy for either one of them to keep this veil of silence thrown over the past.”

“No,” Mrs. Mac agreed slowly. “I’ve suspected for some time that there was more to the story than Garrett has ever revealed to me.”

“What has she told you?”

Mrs. Mac looked troubled. “Joshua, I understand your need to know, perhaps even better than you do yourself.”

“I love her, if that’s what you mean.”

Elena burst into excited Spanish, kissing him on both cheeks. Mrs. Mac nodded thoughtfully. “You surprise me.”

“Didn’t think I was capable of love, huh?”

Something that might have been a smile tugged at her normally stern lips. “No, young man. I wasn’t sure you had the guts to admit it.”

“I don’t like to waste a lot of time and energy ignoring the inevitable. I’m going to win her over, Mrs. McDonald. Will you help me?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I think our Garrett has finally met someone worthy of all she has to offer and man enough to make her see it. It could take time, though. Promise me you won’t give up on her. It could be a bumpy ride.”

He grinned. “She warned me of exactly the same thing, only in a slightly different context. I don’t scare easily. I guess if I did, I’d never have made the trip out here, no matter what Cal did to persuade me. Something told me eighteen months ago I was lost when it came to Garrett. I managed to persuade myself that the feelings would diminish with time and distance and sanity, but they haven’t,” he concluded with a shrug. “I guess the only thing left is to come up with a battle plan.”

“I can see to it that the two of you are thrown together,” Mrs. Mac offered, her eyes snapping with excitement at the prospect of matchmaking. “We could have a party. This old house hasn’t seen a wonderful, romantic ball in many years.”

“The party might be good, but forget the rest. I think Garrett’s had her fill of being maneuvered. What she may have missed is a simple, old-fashioned courtship.” A chagrined expression crossed his face. “Come to think of it, so have I. This could be fun.” He met Mrs. Mac’s sparkling gaze. “Any suggestions? What worked on you? I heard you were a softie when it came to ice-skating. I’m not sure I have the ankles for that, but I could try.”

A dreamy look came into her eyes. “So Garrett told you about that, did she? Skating under a full moon certainly sets the right mood for romance. In the meantime, though, you could start with flowers, lots and lots of flowers.”

Joshua threw back his head and laughed. “I’ve already tried that one. They wound up on the kitchen floor.”

Suddenly the memory of the scene just a short time before came back to him.

“Of course, I was the one who put them there,” he admitted thoughtfully.

Before he’d sent them crashing, before the fight had erupted, he’d seen the wistfulness in Garrett’s expression, seen the shimmering tears of delight in her eyes before the gift had been somehow spoiled. Maybe what she needed rather than lavish bouquets was one single rose.

Chapter Nine

G
arrett found the single, perfect rose lying on her saddle when she went to the barn at dawn a few days after her fight with Joshua. She’d been so successful in avoiding him that she’d actually convinced herself he’d given up on her. Soon he would finish his work and return to Florida where he belonged. Now with the sweet scent of the white bud counterpointing the more familiar earthy aroma of hay and horseflesh, she realized he had only been giving her room to breathe.

“Oh, Joshua,” she murmured as she touched a finger to the velvety softness of the petals. The man was definitely sneaky, sliding through her defenses just when she thought she was immune to his charms. Anger had been her best defense so far, but how could she possibly get angry over something as beautiful and unexpected as this?

The barn door squeaked on its hinges just then and she looked up, fully expecting to find Joshua. Her traitorous pulse hammered at the prospect. Filled with a mixture of anticipation and dread, she slowly turned, only to find Red stomping his boots on the ground and shaking the snow from his jacket. Deep inside her, relief warred with disappointment.

“You riding out with us today?” he asked when he saw that she was saddling Bright Lightning.

“I thought I would.”

He nodded, his expression turning thoughtful. Garrett recognized the look. He was worried. Instantly she was all business.

“Red, is something bothering you? Is there something happening around here that I should know about?”

He glanced pointedly at the rose. “You tell me.”

“Meaning?”

“You’ve been jumpy as a June bug these last few days. You’re standing here clutching a rose and now you want to take off to check the fence in the northwest section. I’m just trying to figure if any of that has anything to do with what’s going on between you and this Ames fellow.”

“There is nothing going on between me and Joshua. Nothing,” she said too quickly, too emphatically. Her gaze skidded guiltily away from his, then determinedly returned to see Red’s eyes narrow consideringly.

“Well, now, I might have believed that if I hadn’t seen the two of you coming out of that cabin the other day. The tension was thicker than a morning fog in the Tetons. Just now you jumped about a foot in the air when I opened that door. Unless I miss my guess, you was expecting him.”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“Hoping for him, then.”

“Absolutely not.”

Again he nodded slowly. Garrett was busy congratulating herself on the success of her deception when he said, “Maybe, just maybe, you can fool yourself, woman, but you can’t fool me. I’ve known you too long. I’ve seen the way you keep a man at arm’s length and do it with a smile, so’s he never knows he’s been flat-out rejected. Lord knows, you’ve done it enough to me and the other cowboys around these parts. If you’d been shut up in that cabin with any one of us overnight, you’d have walked out of there in the morning just as cool as you pleased. Instead your face was all flushed like you’d been riding lickety-split over the back forty.”

Garrett felt a renewed blush creeping into her cheeks. “Red, this really isn’t any of your business,” she reminded him.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But I know what I saw. If the man did a thing to hurt you, I’d expect you to tell me about it. I’d take care of him so he wouldn’t bother you again. You and Casey are pretty special to me and to all the men. Either of you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

The sweet satisfaction of being cared for brought fresh tears to her eyes. “Thanks. I know I can count on all of you, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m a grown woman. I can handle Joshua.”

“If you say so,” he said doubtfully. “He the one who gave you that flower?”

“Yes.”

“Means a lot, a man giving a woman a flower like that, wouldn’t you say?” Red commented shrewdly.

She thought of all the flowers Joshua had delivered to her house a few nights before and the way they’d ended up all over the kitchen floor. “It’s just a rose.”

“You ever found one waiting for you out here in the barn before?”

“No.”

“Then I got one last thing to say and I’ll stay out of it till you come askin’ for advice. You watch your step around a man like that. You ain’t used to his slick, big-city techniques. Before you know it a man like that’ll have you all mixed up, doing something you’re likely to regret. You’ll wind up getting hurt. None of us around here wants to see that.”

Garrett sighed. She knew more than Red could ever imagine about slick, big-city techniques and a whole lot about regrets. She recognized a practiced seduction technique when she saw it and certainly knew better than to believe that a single rose meant anything. Regretfully she let the flower slide from her fingers and drop to the barn floor, its significance as faded as its petals were likely to become.

“Let’s get going,” she told Red, taking Bright Lightning’s reins and following the still-troubled foreman outside. Ominous gray clouds scudded by overhead. As she closed the barn door she glanced inside and saw that the rose had been trampled. Blinking back tears, she mounted her horse and turned toward the north, into the cold that suddenly seemed crueler than ever.

* * *

Joshua found the crushed rose late that afternoon. A swift fury swept through him, followed by a growing sense of resignation. This wasn’t going to follow the quick battle plan he’d envisioned. Winning Garrett was obviously going to require an all-out campaign. Maybe he could get Mrs. McDonald to speed up plans for the ball. He very much needed to hold Garrett in his arms again and he doubted she’d let him do it except on a dance floor.

He went back to the main house and found Mrs. McDonald in the parlor going over the books he’d just finished working on. “Checking to see if my addition’s okay?” he inquired.

“Looking to see what you’ve embezzled,” she taunted right back. Shrewd blue eyes assessed his mood and her tone softened. “Did you find Garrett?”