Journey (22 page)

“Who?” He was afraid to say, although he could almost guess, but it seemed too extraordinary to be possible. Things like that only happened in books and movies.

“My daughter. Her name is Lizzie,” Maddy said proudly. “It took her three years to find me. The people who adopted her died within a year, and she wound up in a state orphanage in Knoxville, where I was living, and I never knew it. I thought she was happy then. I wish I'd known,” she said wistfully, but at least they had found each other now. That was all that mattered at this point. “She's been in foster homes for all these years, and she's nineteen years old now. She lives in Memphis. She goes to school and she works as a waitress, and she's just beautiful. Wait till you meet her!” Maddy said proudly. “We spent five hours together yesterday, and she went back to Memphis today, but I'm going to bring her back soon. I didn't say anything to her, but I'd like her to live here, if she wants to. I called her last night,” Maddy said, holding tightly to his hand, as her voice cracked completely, “she called me … Mom….” He squeezed her hand harder as she said it. It was an amazing story, and touched his heart.

“How on earth did she find you?” He was in awe of Maddy s honesty, and the outcome of the story. It was the proverbial happy ending.

“I'm not sure. She just kept looking. I think she went
back to Gatlinburg, the town where she was born, to see if anyone remembered anything. She had my age on her birth certificate, and she went to the local schools, until she found a teacher who remembered. They told her my name was Madeleine Beaumont, and I guess they remembered. The amazing thing is that no one made the connection between that person and Maddy Hunter. But it's been nearly twenty years, and I guess there's not much similarity between the two. But she figured it out from watching me on the news. I've never talked publicly about my past much. There's not a lot to be proud of.” In fact, with Jack's help, she was profoundly ashamed of it.

“Yes, there is a lot to be proud of,” Bill said quietly, and signaled to the waiter to leave them alone for a few more minutes.

“Thank you, Bill. Anyway, I guess she followed me back to Chattanooga, and somehow she figured out what nobody else has. She says she watches me on the news, and she read somewhere that my maiden name was Beaumont. She's a voracious reader,” Maddy said proudly and Bill smiled as he listened. She was suddenly a mother. Nineteen years late, but better late than never. And her daughter had appeared at just the right moment. “She came to the network, and tried to see me,” and at that piece of the story, Maddy s face clouded, “and they sent her to see Jack instead. He has some crazy system that directs people to him, if they ask for me. He claims it's a screening process for my own protection, but I realize now that it has to do with controlling me and the people I do and don't see. He lied to her,” she said in disbelief, “he told her my maiden name wasn't Beaumont, and that I wasn't from Chattanooga. And I don't know if
she didn't believe him, or she's just as stubborn as I am, but she got into the building somehow yesterday, pretending she was delivering doughnuts, and she walked into my office. At first, I thought she was going to attack me. She had this odd look on her face and she was very nervous. And then she told me. And that's it. And now I have a daughter.” She beamed at him. It was too good to believe, too wonderful to resist, as she smiled at him, and he wiped tears away from his own eyes.

“That's quite a story,” and then he wondered something. “What did Jack say to all this? I assume you told him.”

“I did, and when I asked him why he didn't tell me, he said he thought she was a hoax and figured she was trying to blackmail me. But he had a lot more to say about my concealing it from him. He's livid about it, and I guess he's right. It was wrong of me, and I know that. I was scared, if that's an excuse. And maybe I was right too, because now he's calling me a slut and a whore, and threatening to fire me. He wants no part of it. But I'm not going to let her go now that I've found her.”

“Of course not. What's she like? As beautiful as her mother?”

“A lot more so. Bill, she's gorgeous, and so sweet and loving. She's never had a real home, or a mother. There's so much I want to do for her.” Bill only hoped that she was as decent a person as Maddy thought. But whether she was or not, he understood that Maddy wanted her in her life now. “Jack says he won't let her in the house. And he's worried about the scandal, and the impact on my image if it gets out.”

“Are you?”

“Not at all,” she said honestly. “I made a mistake. It happens to people. I think people would understand that.”

“From an image standpoint, I think it's more positive than negative, if you care. But I think there are far more important issues here. It's a very touching story,” he said quietly.

“It's the happiest thing that has ever happened to me. I don't deserve to be this lucky.”

“Oh yes, you do,” he said emphatically. “Did you tell Dr. Flowers about it?”

“Last night. She was very excited for me.”

“I'm not surprised to hear that, Maddy. So am I. It's a beautiful gift, and you deserve it. It would have been a tragedy for you to be childless all your life, and the girl deserves a mother.”

“She's as happy as I am.”

“I'm not surprised by Jack's reaction, by the way. He's a real son of a bitch to you at every opportunity. The things he said to you are unforgivable, Maddy. He's just trying to bully you and make you feel guilty.” It was his stock in trade, and they both knew that.

They ordered lunch then, and settled in to talk some more. The afternoon flew by, and it was two-thirty before they knew it.

“What are you going to do about all this?” he asked with a lot of concern. She had some decisions to make, only some of which involved her newfound daughter. She still had an abusive husband to contend with, and he wasn't about to disappear by magic.

“I don't know yet. I think I'll go down to Memphis in a few weeks, to see her. I'd like her to transfer to school here.”

“I might be able to help you with that. Let me know when you're ready.”

“Thank you, Bill. I still have to deal with Jack. He's terrified of a scandal in the tabloids.”

“So what? Do you really care about that?” Bill asked reasonably and she shook her head as she thought about it.

“I guess I only care about Jack's reaction to it. He'll torture me over it.” They both knew that was true, and Bill was worried about the effect on Maddy

“I wish I weren't leaving for the Vineyard tomorrow,” he said, looking worried. “I could stay here, if you want me to, but I'm not sure what I could do to make him behave. I still think the only solution is for you to leave him.”

“I know. But Dr. Flowers and I agree that I'm not ready. I owe him so much, Bill.”

“Does Dr. Flowers agree with that too?” He looked disapproving and Maddy smiled sheepishly.

“No, she doesn't. But she understands that I can't leave yet.”

“Don't wait too long, Maddy. One of these days, he might hurt you. He may not be satisfied with just abusing you emotionally, and up the ante.”

“Dr. Flowers thinks he's going to get worse as I get more independent.”

“Then why stay? It just doesn't make sense to risk what he might do to you. Maddy, you have to move quickly.” The extraordinary thing was that she was beautiful, employed, intelligent, she was the woman that every other woman in the country envied and wanted to be. As far as they knew, she was the spirit of independence, and she had the resources to get out of a
bad situation. But abuse was more complicated than that, as she knew only too well, and Bill was learning. It was a tar pit full of guilt and terror, which had her too paralyzed to escape, even though everyone else thought she could do it. She felt as though she were moving in slow motion, but no matter how hard she tried, she could move no faster. And she felt as though she owed Jack her life. What Bill feared, watching her from the sidelines, was that Jack would eventually hurt her physically as well as emotionally, particularly if he could no longer control her. But even she saw what was happening. She was just too frightened still to do anything about it. It had taken her eight years to flee Bobby Joe, and Bill could only hope that this time she wouldn't wait much longer.

“Will you call me at the Vineyard, Maddy? I'm going to be worried sick about you.” It was true, she had been much on his mind lately, far more than he understood or had expected. He was still grieving for his wife, and somewhat obsessed with her, as he finished the book he'd written about her. And yet lately, he was constantly distracted, and sometimes cheered, by thoughts of Maddy. “I'll call you at the office.” He was afraid to call her at home, and add jealousy to the weapons Jack used to torment her.

“I'll call you. I promise. I'll be fine here. I have a lot to do, and we're probably going to Virginia for a few days. I'd love to have Lizzie there, but I don't think Jack would allow it.”

“I just wish you were out of there,” he said grimly. He had no personal stake in it, no romantic involvement with her. But as one human being watching another being tortured, he felt helpless and angry, and
desperate to do something to help her. At times, it reminded him of the endless months when his wife was being held hostage. He was constantly waiting for news of her, and frustrated by the fact that he could do nothing to free her. It was what had driven him finally to do whatever he could on his own. And in his naïveté, he had killed her, or at least felt responsible for it. In some ways, this was a painfully similar situation. “I want you to be very careful,” he admonished her, when he left her at her car, outside the restaurant. “Don't do anything to put yourself in jeopardy. This may not be the right time to confront him. You don't have to prove anything, Maddy. You don't have to win his consent. All you have to do is get out when you're ready. He's not going to free you, you have to free yourself, and run like hell till you reach the border.” In some ways, it was like fleeing a Communist country.

“I know that. I left my wedding ring on the kitchen table, and ran like hell, the day I left Bobby Joe. It took him months to figure out where I was, and by then Jack had taken over. I had more security than the Pope for my first few months at the network.”

“You may have to do that again for a while.” He stood looking at her long and hard, as they both stood next to her car. “I don't want him to hurt you.” Or worse, kill her if he snapped somehow, but Bill didn't say that to her. But Bill thought he was capable of it. He was a man without ethics or soul. In Bill's opinion, he was a sociopath, a man without a conscience. “Take care of yourself,” and then he smiled at her, thinking of her daughter, “Mom. I like thinking of you as a mother. It suits you.”

“So do I. It feels great.” She beamed at him.

“Enjoy it. You deserve it.” He gave her a warm hug then, and he was still standing on the sidewalk walking as she drove off, and two hours later, a huge bouquet of flowers came to her office. The flowers were all in pale shades of pink, with pink balloons and a pink teddy bear, and the card read, “Congratulations on your new daughter. Love, Bill.” She put the card in a drawer and smiled as she looked at the flowers. It was a sweet thing to do, and she was touched. She called to thank him, but he was still out, and she left a message on his machine, thanking him, and telling him how much she loved it.

She was still smiling about the flowers and her lunch with Bill, when Jack walked into her office an hour later.

“What the fuck is that?” he said, furious at the pink balloons and the bear. It was easy to figure out the implication of it.

“It's just a joke. It's no big deal.”

“The hell it isn't. Who sent it?” He looked for a card, but couldn't find one, while she frantically tried to figure out who to say they had come from.

“They're from my therapist,” she said benignly, and then realized instantly that wasn't the right answer either. She'd seen one years ago, and Jack had made her stop going. He had been very threatened by him, and told her the therapist was incompetent. In the end, it was easier to stop seeing him. It was part of Jack's master plan, she realized now, to isolate her.

“When did you start that again?”

“Actually, she's just a friend. I met her at the Commission on Violence Against Women.”

“Spare me. What is she? Some kind of dyke women's libber?”

“She's about eighty years old, and has grandchildren. She's a very interesting woman.”

“I'll bet. She must be senile. Anyway if you shoot your mouth off to enough people, Mad, you'll be reading about yourself in the tabloids soon. And I hope you enjoy it when it happens, because you'll be out of a job when it does. So if I were you, I'd keep my mouth shut. And tell that little bitch from Memphis to keep hers shut too, or I'll sue her ass for slander.”

“It wouldn't be slander if she claims to be my daughter,” Maddy said, sounding calmer than she felt, “it's true. And she has a right to say it. But she promised me she won't. And don't call her a little bitch, Jack. She's my daughter.” She said it clearly and politely and he turned to look at her with a malevolent expression.

“Don't tell me what to do, Maddy. Remember me? I own you.”

She was about to respond to him when her secretary walked into the room, and she decided not to. But that was the key here. Jack believed he owned her. And for the past nine years, she had let him think that, because she also believed it. But no longer. She just didn't have the guts to act on it yet, but at least her mind was clearing. And a few minutes later, he left and went back upstairs to his office.

And almost as soon as he did, the phone rang. It was Bill. He had gotten her message, and was pleased.

“I love the flowers!” she said, beaming again, and only slightly shaken by her husband's visit. She was glad she had thought to take the card off, or she'd have been in a far worse situation. “That was such a nice thing to do. Thank you, Bill. And for lunch too.”

“I already miss you,” he said, sounding young and a
little awkward. He hadn't sent flowers to anyone but his wife in years, but he had wanted to acknowledge the return of Maddy's daughter. He knew how much it meant to her, and he was deeply moved by what she'd told him, and her confidence in him. He would never betray her. All he wanted was to help her. They were friends now. “I'm going to miss you while I'm gone,” he said. It was a funny thing for him to say, and they both noticed it. But she realized she was going to miss him too. She was coming to rely on him, or at least on knowing that he was nearby, although they didn't see each other often. But they had begun talking daily. At least they could still do that while he was at the Vineyard, except on weekends, when he couldn't call her, with good reason. It was too dangerous for her. “I'll be back in two weeks, Maddy Try to be careful till then.”