JOURNEY INTO THE REALM: The Spell Master (Journey into the Realm Series) (31 page)

***

After a while of silent crying, I rose from my bed and remained in a seated position on the edge, my head down. I had no idea what to do. The pain of losing Janie and Daran was almost too much to bear. I wondered if elves had funeral services. I made a mental note to ask someone about it soon. I hoped they did have funerals, so I could properly say goodbye to my friends. I sniffled and wiped my eyes of the fresh tears.

“Did I come at a bad time?” a familiar voice asked.

The voice startled me out of my grief. For a moment, I wondered if I was dreaming. I jumped up and gasped. I wasn’t dreaming. He was here. He was standing in my doorway, his perfect smile radiating the room.

“Stellan!” I cried.

I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly to me as he stroked my hair. “Hey, Elf Girl,” he greeted me.

I couldn’t stop hugging him as he said hello; I was afraid if I let go, he would disappear. My feelings for Nathan aside, I was overjoyed by Stellan’s arrival. No matter how much we had grown apart, no matter how I felt about Nathan, I still cared for Stellan. And I had missed him terribly.

“I missed you so much,” I said.

My tears disappeared; Stellan was finally home. I was in his arms again. I still missed my friends, but his presence comforted me, made me feel more like my old self again – the elfen I was before finding out I was a fairy. Before my friends were murdered.

“I missed you too. You have no idea how great it is to be home with you,” he stressed.

I hugged him tighter. “I’m so glad that you’re here. So…relieved that you’re okay.”

He lifted my chin and kissed me tenderly. I relished the familiarity of his lips pressed tightly against mine, a feeling I hadn’t realized I missed so much until now. “So am I,” he said gently.

“Things aren’t going so well right now,” I told him.

“I know,” he said, as his face fell. “Mother told me about your friends. I’m
so
sorry
, Ramsey,” he expressed.

“This has been really hard on all of my friends and me, especially Ellie….”

“Yes, I saw her,” he agreed. “The state she is in is…”

“Scary,” I finished for him.

“Definitely,” he agreed. “However, Mother says she looks better now than when you brought her over.”

“Good.” I sighed. “She needed help.”

He nodded, kissing me again like he was making up for all of our lost time. “So where is Zora?” he asked when we parted. “I didn’t see her at my house or here….”

I exhaled deeply and avoided meeting his eyes. “She isn’t here, Stellan. She is in Tarlore with Addison for the holiday,” I informed him.

“Why would she leave you?”

“I don’t really want to get into that right now,” I admitted, shutting my eyes tightly to fight an oncoming headache.

“Then we won’t,” he told me softly, caressing my tear-stained cheek.

We embraced again, our bodies melting against each other, and for the first time since last night, I was able to breathe evenly. “This helps,” I said.

“What?” he asked.

“Your being here…it helps,” I explained.

“I’m relieved. I know it’s difficult for you, but I was hoping you wouldn’t be
too
depressed around me.”

“I could
never
be depressed around you,” I assured him.

He smiled and reached for my hands. Then he suddenly stopped. His face appeared wary.

“It’s okay, Stellan. I can control it now,” I told him.

“You can?”

“Yeah, I learned about it in school. It’s easy.”

He took both of my hands in his, and I put up my wall. I felt a little guilty because I had to think of Nathan to make it happen.
It’s okay though because he is just a friend
, I told myself. I sighed.
Denial
…a voice in my head taunted. I chose not to listen.

I was interrupted by another kiss from Stellan. I opened my eyes and smiled. “You are good at that,” he commented.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t think elves could learn control so easily,” he remarked.

I froze. The truth was that I was part Golden fairy, and that was why I could learn things faster than other elves. How could I share this with Stellan? I knew I wasn’t ready to give away any details of my secret. He had only just arrived.

“I guess I was lucky,” I replied.

Nathan had always said I was full of luck, so I decided this excuse was the best idea for now.

“You always were special,” he said. “I’ve learned a few things as well during our time apart.”

“Like what?”

“I can ‘teleport’ farther distances now. For example, remember when I couldn’t travel from Birchwood to Tarlore? Let’s just say that’s all in the past.”

He looked so proud that I couldn’t hold back my smile. I squeezed his waist and breathed him in. “You’re…amazing.” I couldn’t put my gratitude into words. He had arrived at just the right moment.

“And you’re beautiful,” he muttered, kissing the top of my head.

“I feel like this whole thing is my fault,” I confessed.

“Why would it be your fault, Ramsey?”

“My friends died from severe burns all over their bodies. I know the Element fairies are the ones who killed them. It’s obvious.”

“That doesn’t mean this is your fault.”

“The Element fairies killed them to scare me or something. They had a reason. It’s definitely my fault, Stellan.”

He frowned. “I’m not going to change your mind, am I?” he asked.

“Nope, you’re not,” I confirmed.

“Then I will just say one more thing before changing the subject,” he told me.

“Yeah, and what’s that?” I asked.

“It’s not your fault,” he said quickly, planting a kiss on my cheek. “There, I’m done.”

I laughed, despite the hollow feeling I had from the deaths of my friends. “Good.”

“Do you want to just rest here?” Stellan asked.

“I’d like that a lot,” I told him, swallowing a lump in my throat.

He took my hand and led me to the living room. We sat on the couch. Stellan put his arm around me, and I nestled against his chest.

“You’re still wearing your talisman,” I observed as he rested his cheek against the top of my head. I placed my fingers on the golden disk rimmed with silver.

I had given him the necklace before he left for war, on his birthday. It was something dwarves wore as a good luck charm. Mac found one and gave it to me for Stellan, since I was still new to the Elf Realm at the time and had no idea what elves liked as birthday gifts.

“I never take it off,” he said, bringing my fingers to his lips and kissing them softly.

“I’m glad it’s there to protect you,” I said.

“And to remind me of the elfen I love,” he added.

I sighed happily and thought about how lucky I was to have him with me, especially now. “Stellan, you don’t care that we aren’t doing anything, do you?” I asked out of curiosity.

“I’m here with you. That’s enough,” he said.

“Thanks,” I replied, sighing in relief. “I’m sorry I ruined your homecoming.”

He kissed me once more and then shook his head. “The only thing that could ruin this is not being with you.”

I smiled, my heart swelling with emotion. Maybe the distance had only been temporary. Maybe, now that Stellan was back, I would be able to get past my feelings for Nathan, feelings that were brought on only because I missed Stellan so much.

But what would happen when he left for war again? I had already grown so close to Nathan. How long before I went
too
far?

Before I could answer any of those questions, I fell asleep in Stellan’s comforting arms.

***

I opened my tired eyes around noon, still on the couch with Stellan. Once my vision cleared, I began to worry. Elves never took naps, and they surely never slept for more than four hours.

I looked up at Stellan and breathed a sigh of relief. He was asleep too, probably exhausted after months spent fighting Element fairies. I was in the clear. I got up and went to the kitchen to make lunch, hoping that when Stellan woke up he would believe I hadn’t slept so long. I warmed bread on the stove, chopped up some salad, and brewed a pitcher of raspberry iced tea, the aroma soothing my worries and settling my nervous heartbeat. I was afraid Stellan would figure out that something wasn’t right with me. I wanted to be the one to tell him about my secret – if I
did
tell him; I didn’t want him finding out any other way.

Walking back to Stellan, I halfway convinced myself that everything would work out the way I planned. I nudged him awake, planting an ordinary smile upon my face so he wouldn’t realize how jumpy I was on the inside. He opened his eyes and yawned.

“Good morning,” he joked.

I laughed and pulled at his hands. “Come on, sleepy head. I made lunch,” I told him.

He nodded and got up from the couch. During the meal, he asked me about school. I knew he was trying to keep my mind off gloomy thoughts, and for that I was grateful. Being careful not to mention Janie or Daran, I told him all about my classes and friends. I made sure not to be overly descriptive, especially when it came to Nathan.

“So how is Cass doing?” I asked, already trying to change the subject from my Spell Master.

“As well as can be expected,” Stellan replied. “He must be in Tarlore with Addison by now.”

“That’s great. It must be hard for the two of them to be apart,” I expressed. “They’re so close.”

“Just like another couple I know,” Stellan remarked.

I blushed. “Yeah,” I said.

Before Stellan could say any more, I heard a thudding sound outside. The dragons were home.

“Oh, Stellan, I almost forgot! You haven’t met the dragons yet!” I reminded him.

“That’s right! You told me in your letter that they hatched. Can I see them now?”

“Of course. They just returned home from a hunting trip,” I told him.

I tugged on his hand and he followed me outside. Despite the cold, the day had turned bright and sunny. The warmth from the sun made the cold seem less, well, cold.

I found the dragons in their usual spot behind the house. Kalani and Razi seemed to be discussing where they would go hunting next.

“Hey!” I called to them. “I want you to meet someone very important to me. This is Stellan,” I told them as I pointed to him.

Is he your mate?
Kalani asked.

I blushed again. I was glad that Stellan couldn’t understand dragons.

“It’s not
that
serious…not yet at least,” Stellan said with a wry smile.

I giggled and then realized he had just answered Kalani’s question. “You understand them?”

“Yes. Dragons fight with us. Every soldier needs to be able to understand at least some of their tongue.”

“
Great
. Then you really heard that?”

“Yes.” He chuckled and slung an arm around my shoulders.

I frowned at Kalani. “Thanks for breaking the ice so well.”

No problem
, she said with a smile, showing all of her gleaming pointy teeth.

I turned to Stellan. “The one who asks embarrassing questions is Kalani. She’s my dragon. The red dragon with her is Razi, Zora’s dragon,” I told him.

Stellan nodded. “It’s very nice to meet you both.”

It’s nice to meet you as well,
Razi told him sweetly.

Yeah, same here,
Kalani added.

I laughed at Kalani’s enthusiasm.

“Thanks,” Stellan said gruffly.

“Want to go for a ride?” I offered.

Thanks for asking our opinion on the matter!
Kalani roared.

I looked to Razi. “What’s with her today?”

Couldn’t catch a deer she was chasing earlier,
Razi replied.

“Oh, well, sorry about your deer, Kalani, but could you be a little more pleasant? We have company.” I motioned toward Stellan.

Fine,
she agreed.
He is
not
riding on me.

“Fine.” I turned to Stellan. “Ready?”

Stellan nodded. “I’ve done this before.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, anyway, let’s go,” I suggested.

I got onto Kalani’s back and told her to wait until Razi and Stellan were ready.

I thought he knew how to ride
, Kalani grumbled.

“Hush,” I scolded.

When I received the okay from Stellan, Kalani roared and took off before I could even give a command. Razi followed shortly afterward. The air was cold and frosty against my bare skin, but I hardly cared. When I was flying with Kalani, nothing else mattered but the feeling of freedom I gained whenever we traveled by sky.

Even though I was having an incredible time riding, I sensed early on that Kalani was trying to break away from Razi and Stellan. It seemed like she had some kind of problem with him, but I couldn’t tell what it was. When we slowed down a little, I raised my voice as high as I could to ask her.

“Do you not like Stellan or something?” I asked, trying to keep my tone steady as we shot through the sky.

He’s not right
, she replied gruffly.

“What do you mean?” I yelled.

Not the same,
she said
.

“Not the same as what?” I paused. “Or who?”

Nathan,
Kalani replied curtly.

“Why’s that so bad?” I asked.

Because…Stellan has been hardened,
she told me.

“Hardened? Hardened to what?”

Life. He does not see life the same way you do. He will not understand,
she roared.

“Understand what?”

I think you know
, she said gravely.

I did know. Kalani was implying that Stellan would never understand my secret. I disagreed. Stellan loved me.

But how could I keep the truth from him and still say that I loved him?

After flying, thinking about Stellan and my secret, and trying my best to have a decent time despite the circumstances, we returned home. At least Kalani, Razi, and I did. Stellan went to Aaliyah’s to get ready for dinner. We had spent the remainder of daylight flying, so seven was now only a half hour away. I showered, changed into an emerald dress to celebrate both the start of the Winter Solstice and Stellan’s homecoming, and walked out the door.