Journey of Souls (33 page)

Dr. N: Why did you and Eone wait 4000 earth years before discussing a balancing out of your treatment of her in Arabia?

S: Earth years mean nothing; it could have been yesterday. I just wasn’t ready to offset the harm I did her as Haroum. She says the circumstances are right for this exercise now.

Dr. N: If your soul joins with the body of Steve in Texas, will Eone consider this karmic payment for your debt?

S: (pause) My life as Steve is not supposed to be punishment.

Dr. N: I’m glad you see that. So what is the lesson to be learned?

S: To … feel what desertion is like in a family relationship … deliberate severing …

Dr. N: The severing of the mother and son bond by deliberate action?

S: Yes … to appreciate what it is like to be cast off.

Dr. N: Allow Eone to move away and have the other entities join us, Sumus.

S: (distressed) Eone is floating back to … Jor…. coming forward are … Oh shit-it’s Talu and Kalish! (subject squirms in his chair and tries to ward off the two spirits in his mind by pushing the palms of his hands outward)

Dr. N: Who are they?

S: (in a rush of words) Talu and Kalish have volunteered to be Steve’s-my foster parents. They work together a lot.

Dr. N: What’s the problem, then?

S: I just don’t want them again so soon!

Dr. N: Slow down for me, Sumus. You have worked with these souls before?

S: (still muttering to himself) Yes, yes-but they are so hard for me to be with especially Kalish. It’s too soon. They were my in-laws in the German life.

Note: We digress for a few minutes while Sum us briefly explains a past life in Europe as a high-ranking army, officer who neglected his family and was the object of scorn from his wife’s influential parents.

Dr. N: Are you saying that Talu and Kalish lack the capability for the assignment of being your foster parents in Texas?

S: (shakes head with resignation) No, they know what they are doing. lt’s just that with Kalish, it’s always a rough ride. She chooses to be people who are critical, demanding, cold…

Dr. N: Does she always present that sort of behavior in human bodies?

S: Well, that’s her style with me. Kalish is not a soul who engages easily with others. She is independent and very determined.

Dr. N: How about Talu as your adoptive father?

S: Stern .. allows Kalish to lead … can be too detached… emotionally private… I’m going to really rebel against them this time.

Dr. N: Okay, but will they teach you something?

S: Yes, I know they will, but I am still arguing about it. Jor and Eone come over.

Dr. N: What do you say next at this conference?

S: I want Eone to be my foster mother. They all laugh at me. Jor won’t buy my explanations. He knows I am close to Eon e.

Dr. N: Do they make fun of you, Sumus?

S: Oh no, it’s not that way at all Talu and Kalish question my reluctance to tackle my faults with them.

Dr. N: Well, I was getting the impression you thought these souls were ganging up on you to force a decision to join with the Texas baby.

S: That’s not how it goes here. We are discussing my misgivings about the life itself.

Dr. N: But I thought you didn’t like Talu and Kalish?

I

S: They know about me … I need strict people or I ride over them. Everyone here sees I have a tendency to indulge myself. They convince me an easy life without them will be like treading water. Both of them are very disciplined.

Dr. N: Well, it sounds like you have about made up your mind to go with them into the Texas life.

S: (musing) Yes… they are going to make a lot of demands on me as a child… Kalish sarcastic … Talu a perfectionist… losing Eone…

it’s going to be a rough ride.

Dr. N: What will playing the roles of your parents do for Talu and Kalish?

S: Kalish and Talu are in different … configurations than me. I’m not supposed to get all muddled up in their business. It has something to do with their being rigid people and overcoming pride.

Dr. N: When you are on Earth, does your soulmind always know the reason why certain people who influence you positively or negatively are significant in your life?

S: Yes, but that doesn’t mean the person I am in that life understands what my spirit knows. (smiles) That’s what we should be able to figure out on Earth.

Dr. N: Which is what we are doing now?

S: Yeah … and I am cheating a little with you helping, but it’s okay, I can use it.

It does seem an enigma that the knowledge of who we really are as souls is so difficult for many of us to reach through our conscious minds. By now I’m sure the reader has discerned that even in a superconscious state, we do retain the ability to observe ourselves with a portion of the critical center of our conscious mentality. Assisting clients in reaching their inner selves by linking all facets of the mind is the most important part of my work in hypnotherapy.

I want Steve to gain insight into the motives for his behavior by understanding his soul. The dialogue which follows provides us with further disclosures as to why Sumus integrated into Steve’s body. The spiritual conference with Jor, Eone, Talu, and Kalish is over and I have taken Sumus to a quiet setting in the spirit world for this discussion.

Dr. N: Tell me, Sumus, how much of who you really are as a soul identity is reflected in the human beings you have occupied?

S: Quite a lot-but no two bodies are alike. (laughs) Good body and soul mergers don’t always happen, you know. I remember some of my former bodies more fondly than others.

Dr. N: Would you say your soul dominates or is subordinated by the human brain?

S: That’s difficult to answer because there are subtle differences with the brain of each body which affects how we… exhibit ourselves from that body. A human would be pretty vacant without us… we treat earth bodies with respect, though.

Dr. N: What do you think human beings would be like without souls?

S: Oh, dominated by senses and emotions

Dr. N: And you believe each human brain causes you to react differently?

S: Well, that which I am … is able to utilize some bodies better than others. I don’t always feel fully attached to a human being. Some physical emotions are overpowering and I… am not so effective.

Dr. N: Such as the high level of rage displayed by Steve’s temperament, perhaps affected by the central nervous system of this body?

S: Yes, we inherit these things ….

Dr. N: But you knew what Steve would be like before you chose his body?

S: (in disgust) That’s right, and it’s typical of how I can make a bad situation worse. I am able to interpret only when the storms of the human mind are quiet, and yet I want to be stormy people.

Dr. N: What do you mean by interpret?

S: Interpret ideas … make sense out of Steve’s reactions to turmoil.

Dr. N: To be frank, Sumus, you sound like a stranger inside Steve’s body.

S: I’m sorry to give you that impression. We don’t control the human mind … we try by our presence to … elevate it to see … meaning in the world and to be receptive to morality … to give understanding.

Dr. N: That’s all very well, but you use human bodies for your own development too, don’t you?

S: Sure, it’s a … blending … we give and take with our energy.

Dr. N: Oh, you tailor your energy to fit a host body?

S: It would be better to say I use different facets of expression, depending on the emotional drives of each body.

Dr. N: Let’s get specific, Sumus. What is going on between you and Steve’s brain at this time on Earth?

S: I … have felt … submerged … sometimes my energy is tired and unresponsive to so much negativity.

Dr. N: Looking back to your choices of Haroum, Steve, and those other human bodies in between, do they all have traits in common which attracted you?

S: (long pause) I am a contact entity. I seek humans who involve themselves … aggressively with others.

Dr. N: When I hear the word aggression, this means hostility to me as opposed to being assertive. Is this what you intended to say?

S: (pause) Well, I’m attracted to those who influence other people … ah, vigorously-at full tilt.

Dr. N: Are you a soul who enjoys controlling other people?

S: I wouldn’t say control, exactly. I avoid choosing to be people who have no intense involvement with those around them.

Dr. N: Sumus, aren’t you being controlling when you try to direct other souls in their lives?

S: (no response)

Dr. N: What would Jor say about your human relationships?

S: Hmm … that I like power as a means of influencing the acts of humans who are decision makers. That I crave social and political groups where I lead.

Dr. N: So, you would not enjoy being in a human body which was quiet and unassuming?

S: Definitely not.

Dr. N: (I push harder) Sumus, isn’t it true you took pleasure in the way you were a part of Haroum’s misuse of power in Arabia, and

that you gain satisfaction as Steve from mistreating your employees in Texas?

S: (loudly) No, that isn’t true! Things get out of hand easily when you try to lead humans. It’s the conditions on Earth which screw everything up. It isn’t all my fault.

Dr. N: Is it possible that both Haroum and Steve became more extreme in their conduct because your soul was with them?

S: (heavily) I haven’t done well, I know that …

Dr. N: Look Sumus, I hope you know I don’t think you are a bad soul. But maybe you are easily seduced by the trappings of human

authority and you have now become someone who feels in conflict with society.

S: (disturbed) You are beginning to sound like Jor!

Dr. N: I don’t presume to be doing that, Sumus. Perhaps Jor is helping us both to understand what is going on inside you.

S: Probably.

Steve and I have reached a productive stage of contact with his soul. I address this subject as if he were two people, while tightening the bowstring between his conscious and unconscious self. After applying additional conditioning to pull these two forces closer together, I close our session with a final series of questions. It is important his mind not be allowed to drift or his memories to become dissociated. To foster responsiveness, my questions are confrontive and spoken rapidly to increase the tempo of my subject’s answers.

Dr. N: Sumus, begin by telling me why you originally accepted Steve’s body.

S: To … rise above my attraction for leading others … always wanting to be in charge …

Dr. N: Is your soul identity in conflict with the direction Steve’s life has taken?

S: I don’t like that part of him which is fighting to be on top and, at the same time, having thoughts of escape by self-destruction.

Dr. N: If this is a contradiction for you, why does it exist?

S:… childhood … sadness … (stops)

Dr. N: Who am I listening to now? Sumus, why aren’t you more active in helping yourself, as Steve, overcome the shame of abandonment by Eone and your anger from an unloving childhood with Talu and Kalish?

S:… I am grown now … and managing others … won’t let people hurt me anymore.

Dr. N: Sumus, if you and Steve are now speaking to me as one intelligence, I want to know why your lifestyle is so self-destructive.

S: (long pause) Because my weakness is … using power for self-preservation on Earth.

Dr. N: Do you feel if you were less controlling of people as an adult, life would revert to the way you were treated as a child?

S: (angrily) Yes!

Dr. N: And when you don’t get self-gratification from the body of your choice, what do you do as a soul?

S: I…tune out…

Dr. N: I see, and how is this accomplished, Sumus?

S: By not … being too active.

Dr. N: Because you are intimidated by a body in an emotional tailspin?

S: Well… I go into a shell.

Dr. N: So, you use avoidance in not actively dealing with the major lesson you came to Earth to learn?

S: Uh huh.

Dr. N: Steve, your adoptive parents were rough on you, weren’t they?

S: Yes.

Dr. N: Do you now see why?

S: (pause) To know what being constantly judged is like.

Dr. N: What else?

S: To … overcome … and be whole. (bitterly) I don’t know…

Dr. N: I think you do know, Steve. Tell me about the damaged self you present to people around you.

S: (after some procrastination) Pretending to be happy covering up my feelings by drinking and mistreating people.

Dr. N: Do you want to stop this cover up and go to work?

S: Yes, I do.

Dr. N: Define who you really want to be.

S:(tearfully)I… we don’t want to be hostile to people … but don’t want to risk being a … non-person … without respect or recognition, either.

Dr. N: So you are on a fence?

S: (quietly) Yes, life is so painful.

Dr. N: Do you think this is an accident?

S: No, I see it isn’t.

Dr. N: Steve and Sumus, repeat after me: “I’m going to give back the pain of Eone, Talu, and Kalish, which they gave to me for my own good, and get on with my life by becoming the identity I really want to be.” (subject repeats these words three times for me)

Dr. N: Steve, what are you going to do about revealing yourself in the future, and taking responsibility for improvement?

S: (after a couple of false starts) Learn to be more honest.

Dr. N: And to trust that you are not a victim of society?

S: Yes.

This case ended with my reinforcing Steve’s understanding of who he really is and his mission in life. I wanted to help liberate him as a person of value, with a contribution to make in society. We talked about his love and fear choices, as well as the necessity to get in touch with himself frequently. I felt we had laid the groundwork for his dealing with resentment and a lack of intimacy. I reminded Steve of the need for follow-up counseling. About a year later, he wrote to tell me his recovery was going well, and that he had found the lost child within himself. Steve realized his past mistakes were not failures, but the means to improvement.