Journey's End (Marlbrook) (10 page)

Sarah had reached the downstairs area by the time the horses
came
to a standstill near the stables.  Upon greeting them, she immediately inundated Laura with reports of Marlbrook.  Laura’s distracted condition was completely lost on Sarah.

“Laura.
How wonderful
to find you safe and well. We have looked for you in earnest, and I had begun to face the awful prospect that you may have met with some misfortune.”  Sarah did not stop for breath.  “You would not believe what I have had to put up
with
to be here.”

To Sarah’s credit
,
she feign
ed
a sisterly peck on Laura’s cheek before she continued her barrage of conversation – about herself.

Laura was
untroubled
by Sarah’s constant prattle, thankful to her for removing any necessity to converse. 

As the caretaker, Thomas met his obligations and gave a believable rendition of events.  His story appeared credible, as Sarah displayed
little
curiosity about the event.

Lord Henry presented a more complex problem.  His silence would not be so easily bought.  However
,
upon reaching the stables
,
Thomas found the stall empty
. 
Lord Henry’s absence
would
at least
alleviate
one of Laura's concerns.

Laura retired to the house to change her clothes before departing.  Thanking Thomas was beyond her present capabilities.

Laura
observed
the driver
as he
transported the last of her trunks to the carriage.  As she made her way to the kitchen door
,
sentiment overwhelmed
Laura
and she could only equate the sensation to that of saying goodbye to a dear friend for the last time.  A shudder went through her, severing her thoughts.  With haste,
Laura
stepped into the sunlight in an attempt to escape the emotional stronghold.

Never again would Laura presume her tomorrows or permit herself to speculate on future plans.  They had not spoken.  Laura supposed Thomas had nothing to say.

The carriage began its journey, venturing down the winding trail
. The vehicle
passed
giant stone attendants
,
charged with
guard
ing
the Manor gates and beyond
, as if
erasing Laura's existence before setting her back on the course she had originally deviated from.

Laura’s body mounted an insurrection, as her mind coerced her to see.  For a moment
,
she had the ability to glance into her future.  Her days would be dark and her nights put to use to renew the memories of their intimacy.  Her concentration would centre on the possible future that she had left behind.

Lord Thomas Ashley watched as the carriage rolled out of sight, pangs of solitude emerging in its wake.  Spectres, buoyed by the quiet, swarmed around him, the silence intensifying the memories of Laura in his arms.

Thomas understood Laura’s complications.  She grappled with the world between good and bad.  He would have to mend the gap that had opened between them; his calling would be to formulate a way.

Thomas turned to look at the
m
anor with a heart in torment and a mind in disarray.  He visualised his home as it had been in his childhood
,
when laughter had still prevailed, and he made his resolution.  He had met a woman to match him in spirit and, he added, temper, and when something this right came along
,
he was loath to
relinquish his hold.  The incentive to encourage the workload was his.  He would restore his history and claim a bride.

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
- Marlbrook

The elaborate wrought iron gates of Marlbrook parted as if by magic, allowing the coach entry, then closed to keep the picture perfect.  Sarah’s incessant talking ceased.

Gardens graced Laura’s line of vision.  Prolific beds of flowers overflowed with colour, shaded in part by the majestic trees that lorded over them
.  S
turdy limbs h
eld
the mid morning sun at bay.  A breeze gusted sporadically, adding realism to an otherwise flawless scene.  The splendour of the landscape replenished Laura’s spirit.

The main house had been positioned on a slight incline, with large pillared windows donating elegance to the otherwise stark structure.  The perfection of Marlbrook reflected itself, in all its magnificence, in a lake purpose
-
built.  Peacocks, imported from some far
-
off land, roamed as they pleased.  The beautiful creatures splashed colour about the green countryside, while loudly proclaiming their importance for everyone to heed.

The carriage came to rest by a side entrance to the house.  Delicate, climbing roses greeted Laura.  Their first snippets of colour, predominantly red offset with a sprinkling of white, were evident as they lifted their heads above the thorny mass that threatened to engulf them.  The sunlight had prolonged its presence
,
resisting the impulse to blanket itself in the ashen clouds that loitered nearby.  Laura gave thanks to a welcome that would have eased many a burdened soul.

“Laura! Wh
at ails you?” Sarah
asked, impatiently
.

“
Sarah
. I ask only for privacy and rest.”  Solitude had become obligatory; Laura’s excuse was a legitimate one.

Repressed feelings fought to rid themselves of Laura’s domination, and, as the day progressed, Laura’s physical illness reached a peak where she almost dispelled the contents of her morning meal.

Laura sanctioned one day’s rest in the seclusion of her room, a chamber cheered by an exhibition of colourful art forms.  The objects imparted stories of antiquity and grace while remaining uncomplicated.  Laura smiled and thought their silence wise.

Mundane tasks occupied Laura
,
as she
endeavoured
to empty the chaos that rampaged within.  When this failed, she called upon her journal to make sense of what she could not.

“The romantic notion of having an unrequited love is appealing to one like myself, who
,
at an advanced age
,
has guarded, with learned expertise, against such sentiment.  That a man could
effortlessly
penetrate my defences confounds me.  A short time ago
,
I experienced a moment so precious that I cannot yet express my feelings in any manner of words, but the sin of tasting passion is now my constant torment.

The sickness I fight to conquer is not that I have done wrong, but that I find
,
on true examination of my thoughts
,
that I am unrepentant.  The guilt experienced for having sampled such ecstasy out of the marriage bed I find hard to reconcile
,
when my senses tell me that something so tender and loving cannot be
bad
.

There, I have confessed my sin and must now try and live with my guilt.  I pray to God that there will be no consequences for my shameful behaviour, but I also suspect that once previously veiled responses have been aroused, and I blush as I write, the renewal of the sensations will hence be easily triggered.

The caretaker did not indicate any future meetings, and my only hope is that his judgement of me will not be too unkind.  His opinion is of vast importance and a constant cause of my present distress
, b
ut perhaps I flatter myself.  The reality may be that he has no want to be reminded of our meeting.  Either way, to be held in contempt and not his esteem would be a bitter blow.

My writings are private and
,
to myself at least
,
I must be true.  The anguish I endured upon leaving this man has
me
mystified, and
had the carriage not been waiting
I do not know what destiny I might have chosen.  I am glad I was not put to the test.  The thought of desiring to be with a man was remote until this day.”

“Come child
,
let me look at you!”  Authority clung to Lady
Catherine
’s words.  “Have you done with the vapours or whatever it is that ails you or will they resurface to annoy me?”

Taken aback by the unexpected inquisition, Laura failed to reply.

“And what of my
London
house
,
girl?  Did you make sure to check the inventory?  Those
kitchen
girls
are
a dreadful lot.  I shall insist on reviewing everything
,
you know.”

A grin lifted
one
corner of Laura’s mouth.  “Lady
Catherine
,
I am sincerely grateful for your concern. As
to my state
of
h
ealth, I have sufficiently recovered from my recent trials to resume full duties.”

“Excellent. I like a girl that does not take to her bed at every turn. And my
townhouse
?”

“I bring good news. I personally supervised the staff in their comings and goings and made sure that I vacated the establishment
only
after everyone else had withdrawn, turning the key in the lock as I departed. Here then is the very item I speak
of,
returned to you for safekeeping.”

Laura excused her Ladyship
’
s behaviour.  She understood Lady
Catherine
toyed with her, testing her stamina for debate.

#

Thomas put pen to paper two days after Laura’s departure.  The task demanded that he invest a great deal of time in the undertaking.  By recording the events, he hoped to clarify his
thinking
and, to some degree, his beliefs.  While he would never allege to be an eloquent writer
,
his outlook
was
clear
,
as he shared his insights with Laura.

#

Two weeks to the day after Laura’s arrival at Marlbrook, the special messenger transferred Thomas’ letter into her hands.  The foresight behind the delivery confirmed to Laura yet another of Thomas’ excellent qualities. 
Not under any
circumstances did Laura want to attract her Ladyship’s attention
,
as martyrdom held no allure.  Feet practically flew over stairs, the sturdy door to her chamber locked behind her in a trice.

The wax seal on the letter cracked without resistance
. 
Laura’s hands trembled
,
the shaking delaying the unveiling.  Half anticipating the worst
,
and half just anticipating, Laura began to read the words that would either condemn her or provide her with hope. 

Her eyes skimmed the white pages.  Thomas offered concern
,
along with a polite enquiry
,
as to her state of health, and generally anyone could have examined the contents without taking offence.  However, one sentence stood out.  Laura read and reread her promise of redemption.

“- My duty dictates
,
as does my conscience
,
that I write to assure you, ma’am, that you remain held in the highest of esteem.”

Laura’s immediate compulsion was to share her elation, her pen at the ready to translate her thoughts.

“That I am not to be spurned for my wantonness
,
or ridiculed for the lack of it, but remain held in high regard is proof enough that there is justice in this world.”

The penmanship of her declaration disarmed Laura’s most grievous torment.  A swell of affection rose for Thomas, as she placed his phrases, with reverence, within the secure confines of her journal.  Deep inside, below surface tension and all the disturbances that cloud issues, Laura had always known his answer.  They were adults, and their union had been one that would have challenged even the most devout.  The stain of the sin endured, but the prospect of deliverance prevailed.

Sunshine drenched Laura’s writing desk
,
bathing her in its brilliance as though it too joined her in celebration.  Her pen flew across the pages, the sentences flowing with the freedom that comes when one is corresponding with a light heart.